He didn't mean to be a villain.
At least, not at first. At first it was just about pleasing his parents and living up to the expectations of everyone in District Two. And he could fulfill that. All it took was staying at the training center longer than anyone else, building up his muscle, and intimidating everyone.
He was good at that.
He wasn't very good at anything else.
He learns that not everyone can be a Career later than he should have, and the revelation makes him question why he gets to be the chosen one. Does he even want to be the chosen one?
But this question earns him a slap on the face and two extra hours on the treadmill every day, so he quickly learns that yes, he does want to be a Career more than anything.
He has friends, of course; but obviously they're not his real friends. And as he grows up, he has girlfriends; but obviously they're just fuck buddies. Everything is black and white in District Two and there is no grey area.
When he turns sixteen he knows that this is his year. He's all set to volunteer for the seventy fourth Hunger Games, and he's prepared and vicious and ready to go. The motto is constantly put into his mind every day, and he repeats it back like it's nothing.
A small part of him still questions everything, but it's so small he manages to force it down and not speak of it because that's not who he is and that's not who he's been trained to be.
Are they even the same thing?
It comes back up again at the Reaping, when Clove volunteers.
He didn't know who would volunteer for the girls, and to be honest, he didn't give a shit. None of them had ever interested him enough. Except for her. She was vicious and tiny and sadistic and perfect.
He curses everything the first night and manages to break a few plates on the train, and afterwards Enobaria yells at him for revealing his feelings.
But it's obvious Clove feels the same way, and they tear into each other like wild animals, knowing that in the end, there's only one victor, and they don't have much time left together.
The Capitol is bigger than he imagined, and less glamorous than how it's advertised. The styles don't seem genius anymore; instead they're tacky and everyone there is fake. But in the tribute parade he smiles and waves; having been told to act cocky, and he still feels Clove shudder next to him as they see everyone clapping for twenty-four children being led to their imminent deaths.
Through the years, he has learned that it's satisfying to kill, but he still can't understand why other people take pleasure in it. That's why he and Clove make such a good team.
Glimmer is fake and slutty, yet there is intelligence behind her pink, fluffy exterior, and Marvel has a hard look in his eyes that he's oh-so-familiar with. District four is worthless, and so it's decided that it will only be the first two districts in the Career alliance this year. He knows he's the leader, and he's fine with that.
He's never been the leader before in his life.
Their apartment is nice to look at, at least, and he and Clove spend the dinner devouring the dessert they've never had before. Afterwards they sneak a lemon pie back to his bedroom, but they never eat it. They're too busy with other things.
Training is easy and frustrating. He almost feels bad for the tributes who don't know what they're doing, but it's all a game and he should be feeling happy that he has the advantage, even though it's not fair that he's had the advantage since birth.
Clove never misses any of her shots, and neither does he, and everyone in the room knows what district is the one to beat this year.
He feels strong and powerful and in control, and he doesn't want it to end.
Maybe that's when he becomes a villain. Or at least how people think of a villain.
No one is surprised when he gets a ten in his private session, but all he can think about is how he wasn't the best, how he didn't get the eleven like the girl from Twelve did. And thoughts of killing her consume his mind until he can't think straight anymore.
Maybe that's when he becomes a villain. Maybe not.
He and Clove spend the last night together, talking, in her case throwing knives at the wall, and eating cotton candy. They do end up sleeping together, too, but this time it's slower and more gentle and they both understand that when the alliance whittles down, it's one man for himself.
He's never underestimated her, but he's not sure that he'll be able to kill her if they're the last two left. So he doesn't think about it and focuses on his strategy. It's always been the easiest thing to comprehend.
He's killed people during his time in District Two, but it's different at the Cornucopia because they're kids. Kids who have parents and siblings and friends.
With a jolt, he realizes that he's a kid too.
Maybe that's when he becomes a villain. Maybe not.
He doesn't make any more kills after that and leaves the dirty work to everyone else, instead focusing on being convinced by both District Twelve and District Three that they should be in the alliance.
Clove can obviously tell that something is wrong, but she doesn't say anything because she's not a newcomer to pride and honor. They don't show any affection during the Games, instead opting to go with the Glimmer strategy thought up by Brutus.
He gets back into the groove of things when they find District Eight by a fire, and he feels powerful again. He knows that this is his destiny, and he might as well enjoy it.
So he does.
He couldn't care less when Glimmer and Marvel die, but he's angry when their food blows up because it's one less thing he's in control of. So he kills District Three to make up for it. He never mattered anyway.
And when the rule change is announced, he and Clove let themselves go and kiss, right there in the arena, inside the Cornucopia, and he doesn't care, because he can get what he wants now.
He and Clove make plans to divide and conquer. There are no loopholes in the plan and nothing can go wrong. They trust each other and they separate.
But when he hears her scream, he drops everything and comes running as fast as he can, mind whirling in every direction possible, not knowing what he's doing but just blindly going toward the sound of her voice, for once cracked and weak, and he's not sure why, because Clove can handle anything, because she's Clove and they're going to win and-
When he sees her on the ground he knows he's not surprised because what did he expect? His dreams to come true? Dreams don't come true, especially not in the Games.
He is surprised when tears come down her face (and his too), and comforting never been his strong point, but he makes a stab at it, telling her that it's going to be okay, and that she's going to get better and there'll be medicine coming.
But no silver parachutes come floating down, and is it really such a cruel world that they want her to die, so that he can be the lone victor?
She manages a smile and tells him that he has to win now, so he promises her and closes her eyes when she takes her last breath.
The only thing on his mind is killing everyone else now.
And that's when, in his mind, Cato becomes a villain.