Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter. I wouldn't even have been clever enought to make it, so there!
A/N- I love the Marauders era so here it is in slumber party form! I love all three of them equally (notice how i left out Peter) but James a little more than the rest...yeah, reeeaaall equal... Anyway... Enjoy! :D
James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat in the Gryffindor common room later than usual tonight. Although they already slept in the same bunk room, they decided to have an offical sleepover. What better place to have it than in the area of the room that everyone will need to walk through in the morning?
"Now that everyone else is upstairs, let the Marauders Sleepapalooza begin!" James yelled while setting Peter's pants on fire with his lighter. Everyone cheered while Remus pulled out his handy dandy pocket-sized fire extinguisher and put out the burning Peter.
"Why do I always have to be 'ignited'?" Peter complained staring at his badly burnt thighs.
"'Cause you are fat, unloved, and the most fun to watch burn. The real question is, why don't we use our wands to set him on fire and extinguish it?" Sirius said while searching his bag for his moisturizing cream. "Damn! I forgot my lavender scented body lotion. I must go get it."
"NO! NO ONE CAN LEAVE AFTER WE ASSEMBLE!" James accidentally yelled in a deep, rough voice that scared even him. "It's part of the rules," he whispered, trying to bring his volume down but not yet able to find his normal pitch.
"But without my lotion-"
"SIRIUS!" James interupted. "UGH! Okay guys, let's start out with secrets," James said while tapping only the tips of his middle fingers together and rocking back and forth with excitement.
"I'll start. I...am a werewolf," Remus said quietly.
"Noo!" yelled Peter in surprise.
"Ha ha very funny Remus! And Peter, if you were serious about not knowing that Moony was a werewolf, I would slap you so hard, you wouldn't feel it until Wednesday," Sirius threatened with a scrunched up face. It was an attempt at intimidation.
Peter laughed nervously. "N-n-no, if I was Sirius, I would be checking myself out in every mirror I s-see!" Peter gasped loudly at his rude comment. How could he talk to someone above his rank that way! It felt-It felt...good! "A-And another thing!" he giggled nervoously, looking at the shocked faces staring at him. "Have we realized that Remus has a 'special time of the month'? And that James is an arrogant jerk! Yeh! WITH BAD HAIR!"
"This is wildly out of character," Sirius muttered to himself.
"HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY HAIR LIKE THAT, YOU FAT PIECE OF-"
A loud gun shot rang out that interupted James, causing him to turn, swinging his full arm around, and slap Remus across the face.
"Don't worry guys, it's just the abnormally large Peter Tranquilizer. He will be back to normal when he wakes up," Remus stated unbothered by James' feeble attempt at violence.
Wow! Remus is so cool. He can pull anything he needs out of that bag of his. Sirius thought. He looked at Remus and let out a loud sigh. SIRIUS WAKE UP! You just swooned while making direct eye contact with Remus! Guy stuff, GUY STUFF!
"QUIDDITCH! Yeah. And-and witches! Really hot witches!" Sirius yelled quickly.
"Um..okay. Because this whole little...session...happens during every secret-time of the sleepover, let's skip it. Joke time!" James smiled.
"Oh I have this one about a ninja and-"
"I got this Moony, nice hustle though!" Prongs said holding out a hand to silence Remus that went into his mouth. "Alright. Knock, knock!"
Sirius and Remus replied simultaniously, "Who's there?"
"You know."
"You know who?"
"YOU KNOW WHO! AVADA KADAVERA!" James yelled pointing his wand at the lump of Peter on the floor which, no doubt, killed him. James began to laugh.
"JAMES, WHAT THE HELL!" Remus said, running to give CPR to Peter.
"Mouth to mouth. He need mouth to mouth." Sirius said creepily behind his shoulder. "Do it," he whispered.
"DUDE!"
"Sorry. James, I didn't know who was there?"
"Get it? You Know Who! Then I killed Peter!" James said, rolling his eyes at his stupid friend.
The other two boys just stared.
"You Know Who! Voledemort!"
"OH! The rising bad guy that no one is stopping because they believe he isn't a threat to the wizard world yet?" Remus nodded his head viciously. "Someone should really do something about that guy," he said so know-it-all like that James was annoyed into thoughts of suicide.
"Yeah, but no one can ever kill any of us! Yeah we will all die of natural causes and raise kids and not have them be anything more special than us," Sirius sighed, imagining his future.
"Ahem! I will marry Lily and my kid will save the world. I'll help him and not let him marry a blood traitor," James smiled.
Remus knew it was his turn to share his fantasy. "Well, if I know one thing, it's that I won't name my kid after my wife's dad and then die. That's sooo last century. Oh, and James, saying you will marry Lily sounds really creepy."
"I know! But not as creepy as you saying you'll marry Sirius," James giggled. Sirius beamed.
"I never said that!"
"Oh, but you thought it my good friend!" winked James.
"STOP WINKING AT MY HUSBAND!" Sirius screamed. He tackled his friend to the floor and Remus pulled out his Hogwarts: A History book, knowing this would take a while.
"AH! Don't you DARE READ during a sleepapalooza!" James gasped from under Sirius and lunged at Remus.
"STOP HURTING MY FUTURE HUSBAND!" Sirius began pulling James' untidy hair.
Lily Evans came into the common room to see why such noise was coming from it. As expected, she saw Peter lying unconscience while the other three were tangled in a questionable position. James saw her, quickly flung Sirius across the room, and pushed the ripped pages of the book behind him.
"Hey fat lard!" I'm so smooth it's insane. "How awkward is it that you found us piled on top of eachother...again..." he said awkwardly.
"Yeah, it doesn't surprise me. So is Pete dead this time?"
"Yeah. He totally would've lived if Remus gave him the hiney-lick manouver!" complained Sirius.
"We went over this last week, it's called the Heimlich manouver. And yes, James thought it was funny to-"
Remus was cut off by a loud, "inconspicuous" cough from James.
"Don't want to keep you up! Bye Lily!" he said, literally kicking her out of the room. After she was out of hearing range, James turned to his friends and said, "Nice girl. Alright, who's next?"
"Me!" yelled Sirius. "Okay how many Slytherins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Five! One to screw the lightbulb, and four to say their father's connection to the ministry and how they could do it faster!"
"'One to screw the lightbulb' was all I heard," James said laughing.
"And isn't your entire family Slytherin?" Remus scrutinized. Sirius started crying.
"He doesnt like to talk about it," whispered James. "This has been a productive sleepover. Men! Take your Unconscience Rocks out of your sleepover bags and throw them at eachothers heads."
The boys did what was required. Yep, just another night in the life of a Marauder...