Author's note – Well, here I am now entering Smallville territory. What can I say? I like to dabble in a little bit of everything. I know it seems highly unlikely that Lois would ever land herself in a situation such as this, but please just go with me on this one. I did my best to make it believable. Although, I am sorta nervous as to how you all will like it. It'll make for a good read, I assure you.
Music selections – 'Irreplaceable' by Beyonce, 'You can count on me' by Default, 'Get over yourself' by Eden's Crush, 'If you had my love' by Jennifer Lopez.
Disclaimer – Don't own Smallville or any related material.
The Art of Being Irreplaceable: Chapter 1
"Smallville, please help me." Lois pleaded, tagging along behind Clark as he left the counter at the Talon and walked toward the door.
"I've already told you, no. Not with this. How'd you come up with this plan, anyway?" Clark said as he walked out the door with Lois close behind.
"Just listened to 'Irreplaceable' on the radio. What can I say? I was inspired." Lois stated. "Believe me, I didn't want to ask you, but you're the only one around here that could make it believable."
"Just kick him out, Lois. You are, well, you after all. Shouldn't be that hard." Clark stated matter-of-factly.
"Very funny." Lois said humorlessly. "If it were as simple as that I would have done it already. You don't know Kyle like I do. The man is a leech. Just agree, Smallville. I'm not leaving this idea, or you, alone until you do." Lois said, jogging ahead of him and halting his progress, giving him her patented stare.
Rolling his eyes and sighing despairingly, he said "Fine, Lois."
"Great!" she said, clapping her hands together once. She then held her arm out and gestured toward the Talon. "Let's go back inside and I'll give you all the details."
Shaking his head as he followed her back inside, he couldn't help but wonder why he always gave in to Lois.
oooooowooo*oooooososo
"So, just stick close by and when you see us come out arguing, which we no doubtingly will be, start to make your way over. He's so full of himself, he thinks he's God's gift to women and that there's no replacing him. He will say as such at some point. Probably more than once. So try and time it to one of those comments. He'll be beside himself when he sees you. Always been jealous of you, for some reason." Lois said, saying the last part more to herself.
The two had been sitting at the kitchen table in her apartment for over two hours going over the plan, both leaning back in their chairs with their feet propped up on the table. It was now nearing nightfall.
"It was so easy for him to win me over. He was new in town. A real charmer. Had nowhere to go and took advantage of Chloe's recent move." She paused to scowl bitterly. Chloe had decided to take the next step with Jimmy and they'd moved in together. Lois had finally had the apartment to herself once again. However, a week later Kyle had drifted into town and won over just about every woman in town. That included her.
"He had no car and was living in a hotel room when he first asked me out. He said and did all the right things and not even two weeks after he'd entered Smallville, he was moving into Chloe's space. And all was well…for about a week. Said he was looking for a job. Yet every time I walked through that door, there he was on the couch, watching TV or playing on my PS2. Said he'd move out once he was stable. It's been almost a month now, Smallville, and he's driving me crazy." Lois finished, fuming.
"Alright, Lois. We've been over this already. I already knew he was a slacker and a player. No one needed to tell me that obvious fact." Clark said simply in an attempt to change the subject.
"Yes, yes I know. You're such a great judge of character and everything." Lois said sarcastically.
"Maybe I am. I'm still friends with you, aren't I?" Clark answered honestly, although the comment did sting ever so slightly.
"Well…you've got a good point. Not many friends of mine last this long. It isn't an easy task." She conceded after a moment. Finally realizing their similar postures, Lois dropped her feet to the floor and rested her chin on her fists, staring at Clark intently. What was it about him that put her completely at ease? She hadn't felt this relaxed in weeks. Must be that she was finally getting Kyle out of her hair. Yeah, that must be it.
Unable to stand her stare, Clark shifted uncomfortably. "What?" he asked.
Shaken from her thoughts, she stated "You'll need to wear something different." Gesturing to his blue t-shirt and red jacket. "Not that what you're wearing isn't completely charming and irresistible looking…" Lois trailed off sarcastically.
Clark let his head fall back and sighed, exasperated. He knew she'd get around to mentioning his clothes eventually.
"What do you suggest, Lois? Hopefully nothing too dramatic. I do still have to live here." Clark said monotonously.
"Oh, no. Nothing extreme. Just wear a white t-shirt instead. You do own colors other than blue and red, don't you?" Lois said, a mock-worried expression on her face. Ignoring his glare, she continued. "And black boots if you've got 'em. Yeah, that'll be about right. I'm sure you'll totally rock 'the' outfit." She mumbled the last sentence more to herself than to Clark. He heard regardless.
"Wait. What's the outfit?" Clark asked, dropping his feet to the floor and leaning forward curiously.
"You know, the white t-shirt, blue jeans, and boots. Black or brown boots, either color works. It's sort of like…you know what? Nevermind." She trailed off at his blank stare.
"You should probably be headed home soon. I'd offer you a ride, but no car. Kyle usually stays out later on Friday's, but he should be getting home soon. I'd rather you not be here. So, see you sometime tomorrow, then?" she said to break the silence.
"Yeah. Mom's probably getting worried. I told her I'd only be gone a few hours. Just a walk to town." Clark replied, standing up. He neglected to tell her that it only took seconds for him to get home if he ran. Lois stood as well. She trailed behind as he walked over to the door.
Once he got to the door and opened it, he moved to leave but felt a hand on his arm one step out the door. He turned slightly to look at Lois, who had a grateful, yet weary, expression on her face.
"I just wanted to say…thanks, Smallville. It means a lot to me that you're doing this. I know what it's gonna look like to everyone else in town. I'll try and not cause too much of a scene." she said, a genuine half-smile on her face.
Clark was sort of surprised by Lois's attitude but smiled in return. She rarely ever expressed her gratitude as such. "I know. Goodnight, Lois." he said. Both just stood there, unable to look away. Lois was the first to break away.
She released his arm and looked down as he continued out the door and onto the landing. He was halfway down the stairs when she replied quietly.
"Goodnight, Clark." she said.
oooooowoo*ooooooosoo
A/N – What do you think so far? I hope that Lois and Clark aren't too out of character. This is my first time writing Smallville fanfiction, so I hope it's up to standard. Feel free to comment or ask questions, it gives me a rush. Kinda like getting a 95 or better on a really challenging chemistry exam. Until next time…