Supertroopers have taken off with the disclaimer that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Here's another cute little Shane Gooseman story and some things that might have happened in his first weeks after Wolf Den. Well I think it's cute.
What Tri-D Has Taught Me
Exhausted, Commander Walsh returned to his quarters. Or what had been his assigned quarters for the moment. Less than a week ago, he was in charge of an important top secret project for the military. Now he was just another commanding officer awaiting a new position.
For twenty years he had devoted his life to creating, breeding and training genetically enhanced soldiers. The Supertroopers were supposed to be Earth's best defense against the alien enemies of Earth. But in a cruel twist of fate most of them had now become Earth's newest enemies, leaving Walsh with nothing to show for his twenty years of sacrifice.
Well almost nothing.
The only thing he had left was currently stashed in his quarters. A fifteen year old six foot seven inch tall Supertrooper with blond hair, bright green eyes and an unquenchable curiosity of the world outside. A world he was forbidden to explore. For his own safety Walsh had ordered young Shane Gooseman not to leave his quarters for any reason.
Of course that would not stop the boy from finding new creative ways to give him a headache. And to Walsh's horror as he entered his quarters, he found that once again young Shane had managed to do the one thing Walsh had dreaded the most. The one activity he knew would be the most damaging to Shane's mind and his own sanity.
"Commander," Shane said excitedly, he was pointing to a small television like device on the wall. "Look! Look what this guy Blake is doing to this woman named Erica!"
Shane had discovered Tri-D.
"Why are they kissing in the rain like that?" Shane asked, tilting his head. "Shouldn't they be looking for shelter? And why are they taking each other's clothes off? Are they going to take a bath or something?"
"Oh for crying out loud!" Walsh roared as he turned off the Tri-D quickly.
"Why did you shut that off?" Shane asked innocently. "You told me to watch it so I could learn stuff about humans and Earth."
"This is not the education I had in mind!" Walsh snapped. "I told you to stay on channel five."
"I got bored with it," Shane said. "It's all about military stuff. I wanted to see what else was on. I saw some really interesting things. Like this one show there were people who were doing a lot of stupid things like hitting each other with fish to get money and appliances. I don't understand that."
"Neither do I, Goose," Walsh groaned. "But that's not all you were watching was it?"
"No, I was watching that program before you came in," Shane nodded. "It was a weird movie. Well a couple of weird movies. They didn't have endings. See there was this first one with all these different people and they were talking about money and power and there was somebody who got killed but everybody was more concerned with kissing each other and taking off their clothes in really weird places."
"They're called soap operas," Walsh groaned as he sunk into a nearby chair.
"One couple was trapped in a basement but instead of looking for a way out they started to kiss and take each other's clothes off," Shane was puzzled. "And then it cut to some lady saying how much she liked detergent and how clean her laundry was."
"That last part was a commercial," Walsh sighed. "I told you about that. It's how things are advertised and sold."
"Oh," Shane said. "But what about the kissing and the…"
"Goose!" Walsh shouted. Then he softened. "I…We did teach you about human reproduction right?"
Shane frowned. "I think so…I remember Max saying that human babies came from a part of the female's body called a womb. And inside the womb was an egg which was fertilized by the male."
"That's right," Walsh sighed.
"But Max would never tell us exactly how the male fertilized the egg," Shane added.
"He didn't?" Walsh jerked his head up. "Of course he didn't. We never wanted any of the Supertroopers to know about sex. That was the point of the inhibitor drugs."
"The what?" Shane blinked. "And what's…?"
"Don't say it!" Walsh interrupted him. He took a deep breath. "Okay Shane, listen carefully. What you were watching wasn't real. Those soap operas are only stories, fantasies to keep people entertained."
"I didn't think it was real," Shane gave him a look. "I mean come on, half those places were obviously fake. There was this one place which was supposed to be a deserted island, but I could see cars in the background."
"Yes well…" Walsh struggled to explain it. "In these stories…They're romances mostly. Where couples…play with each other. In ways they're not really supposed to."
"You mean the kissing and touching stuff?" Shane asked. "Wait is that what some of those shots you gave us were for? So that we wouldn't do that?"
"Yes," Walsh sighed. "And before you ask why it's so that you would stay focused on your training and you wouldn't get…distracted."
"Oh," Shane blinked. "And that was supposed to work?"
"Yes and…What do you mean supposed to?" Walsh did a double take.
"Well…" Shane looked a bit uncomfortable. "Some of the older troopers…liked to kiss each other. In secret. I kind of caught them doing it once or twice. I just didn't let them see me and I went the other way."
"Who?" Walsh barked. Shane winced. "Tell me who Gooseman! Right now!"
"Do I have too?" Shane asked in a small voice, obviously feeling guilty.
"Yes!" Walsh snapped. "Let me guess it was Darkstar and Stingray am I right?" Shane looked down in shame. "I should have known! I thought they were acting a little too close! Who else?"
"Chimera…"Shane said softly. "Last one I saw her with was Gravestone."
"There were others?" Walsh was stunned. "Was Kilbane one of them?"
"No, he tried but she kept beating him up," Shane admitted. "I think he was the only one she didn't kiss."
"Did she try to kiss you?" Walsh asked.
"No, she never asked or said anything," Shane admitted. "I think she thought I was still a baby or something. But she kissed a lot of other guys. She even kissed Brainchild but that was only because he gave her extra rations."
"What?" Walsh was definitely having a mild heart attack.
"I never really saw them kiss or anything," Shane told him. "She always went down to the west bunkers to go kiss anyone who'd give her extra rations. At least that's what Kilbane said. Then again he lies a lot so he could be wrong."
"Not in this case I'm afraid," Walsh groaned. "I don't believe this! Shane listen to me! This is an order! What you saw on Tri-D, what you saw the other Supertroopers do…DON'T DO THAT! Understand?"
"Is this another thing I'm not supposed to know about or understand?" Shane asked in a bored tone. "And not do it because you said so?"
"YES!" Walsh snapped. "Gooseman did you watch any other programs? Anything else?"
"There were a few things," Shane admitted. He turned the Tri-D on again. "Okay here's what I don't get. This woman Janet doesn't know who the father of the baby she's carrying. From what I can figure out it's between Blake, Joshua, some guy in a trench coat and a patch over his eye or this doctor person here. What I want to know is that how is it possible for a woman not to know who the father of her baby is?"
"New rule Gooseman! No more soap operas!" Walsh snapped. "I don't want you watching that trash any more ! Understand?"
"But how will I know if Blake and Erica get off the island?" Shane asked.
"They don't get off the island, Goose!" Walsh snapped. "They got drowned in a huge tidal wave because they were too busy playing to pay any attention! That's moral of the story! Fool around, you die! Got it?"
"Got it," Shane grumbled, not really buying Walsh's explanation. "Well if they die can I at least watch them drown?"
"NO!"
"They don't really drown do they?" Shane gave him a look.
"As far as you're concerned, they did!" Walsh snapped.
"There's more to this than kissing is there?" Shane asked. "What are you hiding from me?"
"I'm not hiding anything," Walsh snapped. "I'm purposely blocking information from you that I don't think you need to know about."
"It's something to do with the clothes coming off isn't it?" Shane went on.
"Okay we're going to watch something else now!" Walsh grabbed the remote and started to change the channels. "There's got to be something with gunfire or explosions on this thing! That you know!"
"So violence is okay but kissing isn't?" Shane was confused.
"Yes!" Walsh zapped through the channels. "Soap opera, soap opera…talk show…NO! NO! NO! Here! The news channel! Watch that!"
"And in political news, New Jersey's second transsexual governor held the first commitment ceremony at the capitol building…" The anchorman spoke. "The governor married his longtime political adviser slash hairdresser Foofie in a purple and pink…"
"Yeah that's another thing I wanted to ask you about," Shane had a puzzled look on his face.
"Where the hell are those damned parental blockers when you need them?" Walsh moaned.
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The next morning Walsh awoke to the sound of the Tri-D blaring from the other room. "Gooseman…" Walsh moaned in agony as he staggered into the next room. "Turn that blasted thing off before I…"
Walsh's jaw dropped in horror at what he saw. Shane was sitting in front of the Tri-D watching a show where a rakish young cowboy was serenading three girls at the same time. And none of them seemed to mind it.
"You all have a place in my heart," Shane mimicked the cowboy. "How can I choose one over all of you? That is like choosing a star over all the other stars in the brilliant sky."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Walsh shouted.
"Watching Tri-D," Shane said innocently.
"You know what I mean Mister!" Walsh snapped. "Why are you trying to copy that piece of trash?"
"Well he seems to know how to talk to girls," Shane shrugged. "I thought maybe if I knew how to do that…"
"Why do you want to…? Never mind! I don't want to know!" Walsh groaned and ran his fingers through his already graying hair.
"But girls like that kind of talk right?" Shane asked. "I can do that without doing the other stuff right? Whatever that is."
"No! No they don't like it! It's a movie! A fantasy!" Walsh snapped.
"Actually it's some kind of dating show," Shane corrected.
"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS!" Walsh shouted. "Just don't do it!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY!" Walsh snapped. "It just…It doesn't work that's why!"
"How do you know? Did you ever do that to get girls?" Shane asked innocently.
"THAT'S IT!" Walsh roared. "YOU ARE GETTING OUT OF THIS ROOM AND AWAY FROM THE TRI-D EVEN IF I HAVE TO TIE YOU TO A TANK TO DO IT!"
Not long after that Shane found himself in a gray ensign's uniform in the motor pool. "Sergeant Kowalski thank you for allowing my protégé to work in your department," Walsh said briskly. "Teach him as much as you can and don't be afraid to put him to work."
"From the looks of him it seems that he's no stranger to it," A big burly sergeant gave Shane the once over. "Unless those muscles are for show."
"They're not," Shane said quickly. "Sir."
"Fine," Walsh nodded. "I'll be back this afternoon to check on your progress." Walsh walked out.
"How much do you know about electronics Ensign Gooseman?" Kowalski asked briskly.
"I'm familiar with them sir," Shane stood at attention. "I've worked on basic computer units as well as monitoring systems."
"Perfect!" The gruff sergeant grunted. "Then maybe you can fix our Tri-D! It's only an hour to our favorite soap opera the Brazen and the Babes are on and we need to see what's going on with Blake and Erica on the island!"
"They're not going to drown are they?" Shane asked.
"I dunno, why you hear something about their contract negotiations?" Sergeant Kowalski asked as they went to the other room.
Meanwhile Walsh had traveled to a nearby hospital base to visit Dr. Nagata. Even though he had seen brain units before and knew this was in accordance with his friend's wishes it was still a shock seeing him.
"Owen…" Walsh felt his heart sink into his chest. "I'd ask how you were doing but…"
"I'm not in pain Joseph," The voice from the synthesizer was clear but it lacked that familiar gentle German accent he had in life. "It's an adjustment but I'm doing fine. How are you doing?"
"As well as can be expected considering the circumstances," Walsh sighed as he sat down.
"I heard about Gooseman. How is he doing?"
"Don't ask," Walsh groaned. "It's a difficult transition for the both of us to say the least!"
"He must be terrified," Dr. Nagata said.
"Right now he's too distracted to be terrified," Walsh groaned. "I'm the one who's terrified. You know why? Because I am living with a fifteen year old Supertrooper addicted to soap operas!"
"Soap operas?"
"He is discovering sex through Tri-D," Walsh groaned. "He's asking a lot of questions."
"I can imagine," Dr. Nagata remarked. "I'm afraid that was inevitable Joseph. You are just going to have to be patient and explain things to him. Especially when all the inhibitor drugs are burned out of his system."
"And it gets worse," Walsh added. "Those inhibitor drugs we gave the Supertroopers didn't work very well to begin with!"
"It's Darkstar and Stingray isn't it? I thought those two were looking a little…" Dr. Nagata began.
"It's not just them. Apparently Chimera was also running her own little prostitution business on the side," Walsh groaned. "Goose thinks she was only kissing the males for extra rations. At least I hope that's what he's thinking."
"Joseph, Supertroopers are not supposed to interact with each other that way," Dr. Nagata began. "If they manage to breed..."
"Don't remind me! Supertroopers aren't supposed to do a lot of things but they do them anyway!" Walsh moaned. "Like trying to figure out how to talk to girls using pick up lines from dating shows."
"Gooseman?"
"Yes..." Walsh moaned. "Don't ask."
"I think it's a good thing I'm just a brain now," Dr. Nagata replied. "Otherwise I'd have a heart attack."
"Maybe I should apply for one of those things now," Walsh pointed to the brain unit. "The way Gooseman is running me ragged I might need it by the end of the week!"
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Walsh felt slightly better as he returned to the motor pool where he had placed Shane for the day. The sight of Dr. Nagata's new body was disquieting but he felt assured that his friend was all right in his new situation. And he was sure that Shane would be learning something other than certain issues of a biological nature.
That certainty was dashed completely as he walked into the motor pool and found Shane along with several other men watching a video depicting those certain issues of a biological nature in a quite graphic manner.
"WHAT THE BLOODY BLUE BLAZES IS THIS?" Walsh roared. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Watching a porn tape sir," One cheeky mechanic said cheerfully.
"The kid was asking questions," Sergeant Kowalski shrugged and gestured to Shane. "We thought this was the best way to answer 'em."
"So that's what Blake and Erica were doing when they cut to the commercial," Shane smirked.
"YOU SHOWED GOOSEMAN A PORN TAPE?" Walsh roared. "HE'S ONLY…HE'S TOO YOUNG FOR THIS FILTH!"
"I thought it was pretty tasteful," Shane said innocently.
"Yeah this isn't even the hard core stuff," Another soldier snorted. "Even has a story line and everything."
"GOOSEMAN!" Walsh roared. Shane jumped to attention. "OUTSIDE! NOW! AND AS FOR THE REST OF YOU DEGENERATES, YOU'RE ON REPORT!"
"Good luck with that Sir," Sergeant Kowalski snorted. "This isn't exactly the first time this has happened!"
"BUT IT WILL BE THE LAST IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Walsh snapped. He stormed out with Shane following. "Of all the irresponsible, degenerate…"
"Now I know how the male fertilizes the egg," Shane said with a triumphant grin. "And why you and Max got so nervous."
"Shut up Gooseman!" Walsh hissed between his teeth as he dragged him away.
"And that's what Chimera was really doing behind the west bunkers wasn't she?" Shane just couldn't stop talking. "Is that what those inhibitor drugs were supposed to stop us from doing? Didn't work with Chimera."
"OBVIOUSLY!" Walsh shouted. He stopped for a moment to collect himself. "Goose I am not even going to ask how that happened…I just…Just don't do that! All right! I don't want you doing that! It leads to nothing but trouble! Especially for you! Understand me?"
"But why?" Shane asked. "It was weird to look at but it looked…I don't know…nice."
"You want a reason Shane? Here's a good one! You are only fifteen! Only adults are allowed to do that! So I don't want you to even think of…that until you are at least thirty! Understand me!" Walsh really did not want to talk about the subject.
"I thought humans turned into adults when they turned twenty one?"
"In your case it's thirty!" Walsh stormed off with Shane following. "That is an adult thing! Only adults are allowed to do it! Case closed!"
"Wait a minute…" Shane stopped in his tracks. He looked slightly stunned. "You're an adult. Did you ever…?"
"That's it! We're moving to another base!" Walsh roared. "ONE WITHOUT TRI-D!"