Once upon a time, in a land not too different from the not-so-recent Gamecube hit "Tales of Symphonia", there lived a little girl named Amy. Amy was what many would call "kwaii" and "desu ne". She had a total homo for an older brother so she wanted to do his extremely manly friend Cless. Cless was hot. He was the whole damn package. Blond bowl cut with a red bandana and matching cape. My penis is getting hard just thinking of this cliche-that-started-all-other-cliches.
One day, after Cless left his manly house after some manly training, he saw his bumchum Chester. "Hay Watercress-chan. You are looking fabulous today." he said with an almost creepy level of excitement. "GAWD Chester. You know that my name is MIZUCLESSU DESOWA, GAWD. Lern Namco renamung." Cless responded in his blunt giappanaise manly way. "yeah okay sure whatever. Dude do you like, want to go hunting with me?!" Hunting being the new euphemism in the villiage for gaysex. "okay lol But first let's go to the foodstore, even though we're going hunting."
Cless and Chesutaru Barkulaito walked into the foodstore, because wow this is an exciting action to write about. Cless slapped sum gald on the counter and whispered to the clerk. "Yo, dude..you ready to mow my lawn?" because no fanfic is complete without there being a bad attempt at aqquiring cannabis. "No srry dude. I shipped out all of my hemp to the armor shop. OH CAN YOU GIVE THIS TO YOUR SISTER, CHESTER? SHE REALLY LIKES APPLES AND SHE'S A DEPRAVED LITTLE NUTTER (Who spends most of her time in your room smelling the bedsheets!) SO I THOUGHT I'D BE NICE AND SET THIS ONE ASIDE FOR HER." "Shure dude, I'll give her THIS DELICIOUS APPLE. btw what was that one part that you whispered?" Chester inquired in his homosexual manner. "o nothing. i was just saying you are one bad, mother, shut yo mouth etcetera"
After the grueling task of aqquiring the apple, they went back to Chester's abode (which is not a studio apartment in Manhattan guys. you and your gay stereotypes). Chester sat down on the couch which had some lovely throw pillows on it, and Cless went to bring Amy the apple. HE GAVE AMY THE APPLE WITH THE PIZZAZ EXPECTED OF THE MANLIEST MAN EVER. "Oh my god Cless you sexy manbeast. I must give you this doll I spent five days making. Here. Take it." Amy handed over the doll with buttan eyes. "How fun! A doll that looks like me. I am excited" Cless responded in his blunt giappanaise way, which he seems to only use with the Barklight family. They left without another thought to go have gay sex in the forest with the magic tree that some fag in red named Yggdrasil. Oh, and "Tarzan boy" plays on loop there.
SUDDENLY, back in the Barklight house hold a sparkly magical man appeared. He had long wavy blond hair and a chin that looked like a piece of plywood. "Hi, I'm from the future or not maybe. Can I have that Cless doll you spent five days making?" "..umm..how did you get in my house? And how the hell did you know I spent so long making the doll?!" the kwaii girl asked in a very desu ne way. "Yeah hey shut up. Give me the fucking doll." "..I gave it to THAT SEXY MANBEAST CLESS!!" "WHOAH I know he's awesome. He's like my future boyfriend 3" the sparkly manchild from a rock in spacu sedu. "NO SHUT THE FUCK UP. HE'S MY FUTURE BOYFRIEND." Amy screeched with the force of many seconds of holding the shiftkey down. "BITCH I'LL CUT YOU. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT MY MAN" The sparkly blond man with a broad chin destroyed the villiage (and that man stealin' underage girl) with the force of a black mother. Not that other faggot.
Cless rushed into the villiage like Dr. Robotnik on a treadmill, Chester rushed into the villiage too but in a much less noteworthy way. "OH MY GOD THE VILLIAGE IS DESTROYED." "No shit Sherlock." "God, your comebacks suck more than your sex. :(" Cless ran up to his house and up the stairs because these are fun details to describe and he found a sword which was just going to be taken away from him later. Chester was probably doing stuff like mourning the death of his underage little sister.
When they both finally met outside by the villiage gates, Cless was like "Okay seriously we should stand here for a few minutes then aknowledge this sexy sexy sexy as our enemy and chase after him for the rest of the game but we'll get seperated like, before you're even at level ten and then we won't see you for like over half of the game but I'll be with a boring blondchick healer so it's all gewd."
"Okay cool see you there."