Our Choices Define Us
At the ceremonial crowning of Divine Victoria to the Sunburst Throne
After months of chaos throughout Thedas, a new Divine had been declared. Great masses of all peoples - humans and elves, mages and templars - congregated in the streets of Val Royeaux before the Grand Cathedral.
The Inquisition was, of course, present as well. Standing awash in bright red, they formed lines upon lines to the right of the Grand Cathedral's doors in support.
"You can't hide back here forever, you know." Varric said at her elbow. "If I have to go up there so do you."
Inquisitor Rúni Lavellan ignored the dwarf.
"Fine, fine. I can take a hint." The dwarf said, and started to push his way through the crowd towards the dias. "But being fashionably late to somebody elses party? That's just rude."
"Say what you will," Lavellan sighed. "I am not going to let myself be made a spectacle of until I have no other choice about it."
Varric sent her a crooked grin, then disappeared into the throng with a wave.
The great bells above the Grand Cathedral started ringing. High noon was upon them, and with it would come the start of a era. The Grand Clerics began to recite the Chant; Lavellan tuned them out.
"Not enjoying yourself, I take it?" An amused voice said from over her shoulder. Lavellan jumped a foot in the air and whirled.
Slate eyes watched her, a crinkle at their corners matching the barely there smile tugging at his stupidly perfect lips.
"So..las.." Lavellan breathed in disbelief, scanning up and down his form.
Solas took a half bow with a flourish. Lavellan bumped into someone as she took a reflexive step back, and then fell right into his embrace after she jumped away from the human.
Solas was laughing in her hair.
"If I had known you would be this quick to come in my arms, well..." Solas trailed off.
Lavellan swallowed. "I... you disappeared."
"And so I did." Solas acknowledged. Just like that, and her heart cracked into pieces again. In the background, bells were once again ringing.
"Then why are you here?" She choked out, trying to fight her way out of his arms. Why, oh why were their weapons tied in their sheathes in peace for this day?
Solas tightened his grip. "Look at me." When she refused, Solas sighed. "Rúni. Please." She couldn't continue to refuse, and bright violet eyes looked up and caught his.
"It was not my intention to hurt you." Rúni scoffed. "Truly." Solas insisted. "I have... had things to do, dreams to accomplish, that... they seemed so..."
"Much more important than me?" Lavellan finished bitterly.
Solas frowned, and his hands slackened. "They are still important. But ma vhenan, so are you."
Lavellan let out a breath and looked away. My heart. "So, why are you here?" The question was less of an accusation this time.
Solas's eyes went above her head, to where a slim form was ascending the steps to a throne, and he nudged her. Lavellan turned look, and couldn't help her smile. Divine Victoria had arrived.
"I ran into the Chargers the other day." Solas murmured in her ear, his arms going around hers. Their fingers intertwined idly, and he continued. "They didn't see me, of course. But just me seeing them... it made me realize something important."
Fighting the urge to close her eyes as the familiar scent engulfed her, Rúni kept her eyes forward. "Oh?"
Solas's breath was hot, and Lavellan knew the tips her ears were turning red. "Of my many grievances with the world today," Solas started, "Do you know the one fault that is hardest for me to forgive?"
Lavellan's brow furrowed. To her knowledge, Solas had a laundry list of jugements. Luckily for her, Solas didn't wait for her to guess.
"Hypocrisy." Solas answered.
Rúni couldn't find it in her to be surprised at such an answer. "And?" She challenged.
"And I saw Bull's Chargers, and was confronted by my own." Solas said as she turned in his arms, surprised at the admittance. Her eyes urged him to continue and he obliged. "You will recall the Dreadnought, and Iron Bull's choosing of his company above that which he has always known."
"I was proud of him, admired him! The Iron Bull, for perhaps the first time in his life, made a choice. He defined himself in that moment, a definition away from the Qun, a definition I could respect." He finished. Rúni was familiar with this topic. Solas hadn't just touched Iron Bull's heart when they spoke of this very topic afterwards.
"So what are you saying, exactly?" Rúni asked hesitantly, and looked up. Solas's eyes were so intent on her own they were awash with a blue hue, magic showing the world the very depths of his emotions.
"I'm saying," Solas said, cupping her cheek tenderly. "That I am a hypocrite." Seconds later the crowd erupted, Divine Victoria crowned. Solas kissed her.
Solas's scent filled her nose, dirt and trees and fur, water and fog and sparks of storms that just screamed to Rúni of magic. His stupidly beautiful, stupidly soft lips caressed hers, apologized and celebrated and smiled into her own.
Rúni opened her eyes when had she closed them? to find Solas gaze upon her face, bright and happy but staid all at once like still waters. What?
"Ar lath ma, vhenan." Solas told her.
Rúni's eyes closed to stop tears welling and her jaw clenched. "My heart." She whispered. "At least tell me why."
Divine Victoria's voice rang out, but it was like a whisper in Rúni's ears compared to Solas's quiet voice. "I realized my hypocrisy. I left, and in doing so was merely following a path that I have walked again and again and again."
"Truly, it was folly of me. By all accounts, I should have remained at your side. Yet..." Solas's voice trailed off. "I am old, ma vhenan. And when one lives for as long as I... change is not something inevitable, for all that I wish for the world around me to change."
"I would choose you, ma vhenan. But this is not a mere matter of belief: I cannot remain in this world." Solas finished.
"I see." Lavellan said.
Heralds cried out the names of those being recognized for greatness, people in the crowd were moving. Solas gestured forward towards the Grand Cathedral; Rúni grabbed his hand. "You have a future, ma vhenan. Do not let me take it from you."
Violet eyes didn't move, not even to look at the dias. If Rúni looked away, went to that dias where the new Divine was calling for the presence of the Inquisitor, Rúni Lavellan knew that Solas would be gone.
"The world will change no matter what, Solas." Rúni said. She pulled his arm to her, stepped up and kissed him. Her eyes never left him. "I do not have to be there for it. We can wait together."
Although a tear came to Divine Victoria's eye, there was a smile as well, when The Inquisitor never showed.
This came about because I was thinking about Iron Bull, actually. Something Solas says to him is so sweet it made me choke, where Solas tells him he is not Tal-Vashoth, but Solas is proud to call Iron Bull friend for making such a choice. Then I was like, WTF SOLAS YOU HYPOCRITE.
I tried real hard to just call her Lavellan, but unlike when I was writing about Trevelyan, I love what I named my Levellan Inquisitor and couldn't bear to type Elanna, for all that it's cute. Rúni, "Secret Lore," was Very Fitting, I thought.