It was a pure accident that I listened to Hyde's "Shallow Sleep" while thinking about this story but honestly it's the perfect song to listen to while reading this story. Look it up on youtube if you have to.

Why it's perfect?

You'll have to read to understand it...

08-22-2010: Sorry! Something totally went wrong! Now you should be able to read the story!

Warning: Yaoi, Angst and bittersweet memories...

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Losing You

I wake up with the thought of a presence next to me but when you, beautiful oceanic blue eyes and from sleep tousled dark blond hair, smile at me I feel cold inside.

I see you jump out of the bed, hurriedly turning to the dresser and searching for your good luck boxers because you know today will be a good day but quickly notice that you can't remember where you put them and ask me in the very moment you see them from the corner of your eye, taking them, laughing about yourself.

I get up, heading for the bathroom immediately and turning on the shower. I think I hear you joking that you'd like to join me but I know you'd never do it because I punished you once for it, ignoring you the whole day.

Leaving the shower, I quickly pull on a plain black shirt and the tight jeans you bought me at our first anniversary. In the corridor I take my bag almost automatically and leave the house…

I still hear you calling for me, wishing me to have a good day and to take care and that I shouldn't dare to come too late for dinner.

X X X

When I return home I'm almost sure I see light in the house and yet my hand moves to the light switch to turn it on. I drop my bag in the corridor. Work had been hell today.

I swear I heard you call from the kitchen when I entered the house and I see you look up immediately when I entered the perfectly prepared dining room.

Your cooking skills are amazing and still today dinner tastes like old bread… but that's my own fault. You smile and chat lively about what you did today but when you laugh I still feel like crying…

You do everything for me, you clear the table and wash the dishes and still I'm totally exhausted when I lie down on the bed you made for me though it still looks dishevelled.

You climb into bed next to me like you always do but I can't feel your breath on my skin, only coldness… I feel so numb.

I can't… I can't fall asleep.

Again, I stand up.

It's summer and still early in the evening, it's not even dark and so I go for a walk. But when I head for the back door, you seem to know what I'm planning.

You grab my hand but you can't stop me from going. "Please Zexy, don't go!"

My body is shaking, it feels so surreal but you refuse to leave the house. You only stare and call with big oceanic blue eyes showing sadness.

It's only a walk, I'll come back, you know but you also know I will keep ignoring you when I do.

X X X

I walk through the small forest behind our house, also passing the tree with the D+Z heart engraved that has been growing with it for almost ten years now.

I walk further, just a few more minutes until I see the tree that used to be our hide-out when we were little because the branches were hanging down to the ground so nobody could see us when we played behind that wall of wood and leaves.

Not too far behind our tree… I get on my knees in front of that lone cold stone…

"Demyx… I'm missing you" I sob, touching the grave oh-so-softly, trailing the letters of your name carved into it.

X X X

It's the thought of your presence next to me that's killing me.

Your smile when I return to bed is what's driving me insane.

Damn... I cried the whole time writing that...

Kinda scary too, right?

Well, please leave a review and wait for the next chapter. Yes, there will be a second one, a bit different though...