Before I Cross My Heart
Summary: A Ron/Harry. Mention of Lupin/Sirius. Ron is in it for the fun, and Harry is in it for the love, how will it end?
Please Read: Set in 6th year. Sirius is not dead. Lupin is back as DADA professor.
(Hermione's P.O.V)
The relationship came out of no where. Everyone told me Ron liked me. I didn't really like him back as much as I thought I did. I wasn't hurt when he came to talk to me about why he didn't like me. It was a reason I could have never imagined. He was gay. He just flat out told me that he had finally figured out why he didn't have feelings for me like he used to.
That I was fine with. And I told him that and asked him if Harry knew. He had turned bright red. I asked another question. Did he like Harry? Yes, yes he did. And that's when he told me he and Harry had been in a relationship since that summer at the Burrow. He said the only other people that knew were Fred and George.
The twins, surprisingly, he told me, had taken it well. He had told them before anyone. He had expected ridicule beyond belief, but they had been perfectly fine with it and not one smart remark.
The next step Ron had needed to take was…well…the whole school. He said the relationship wouldn't work unless everyone else knew. So they had started with the Gryffindors. They didn't exactly just tell everyone, they just didn't hide their affection anymore while in the common room. And when the question "Are you two gay?" started coming they would reply with yes, and tell them not to tell anyone outside of Gryffindor.
Of course they wouldn't, since it was an order from Harry Potter, and while Harry Potter was untouchable, of course his boyfriend was as well.
Their relationship made me melt inside. The horrible truth of one of them not making it out of the war alive made them have a horrible case of separation anxiety unless I was with one of them. At times I wish there were two of me. Because when I was with Ron while Harry continued Occlumency lessons with Snape, I wished I could also be with Harry, because him being away from Ron probably made him weak, and he came back tired and unhappy, and mostly took out his frustration by speaking pretty harshly to Ron, who would then also become unhappy and cling to me for the rest of the night.
But at the times they really needed each other, they were always there. The affection and spark between them was much more than a couple that had been with each other for over a year when their relationship had only been there for four months. Ron had confided with me several times about things he was worried about. He had told me that he wanted to tell his parents but was worried because their family had a tradition of having a, well, large family. I had asked him if he actually planned on marrying Harry…which Ron said he had no idea. So I told him if he wanted a family he should adopt.
Out of the question. That's where Ron said he didn't want to actually get married to Harry. He admitted it quietly and I asked him if he was afraid of commitment, which he said he was, but only when it came to marriage. He said marriage took the fun out of everything.
I asked him if Harry knew all this and he said no. He didn't even know if the relationship would last that long. He didn't know if he would let it.
But as I watched the two as the secret slipped to a Ravenclaw girl, and it spread like a fire through the whole school. Ron and Harry managed to suffer through the ridicule they got from the Slytherins, who seemed like the only people who had the nerve to make fun about it. Ron and Harry mostly ignored it.
And one day after a Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Lupin (who had come back mostly to keep an eye on Harry), he told us to stay after class. I was glad he asked me to stay as well.
"What do you plan on doing?" he asked Ron and Harry, "Do your parents know?"
Ron's gaze lowered and he folded his arms over his stomach after brushing a lock of fiery red hair out of his face which immediately fell back to its original spot.
"No," he muttered.
Harry's gaze also left Lupin's. Lupin asked to speak to us separately. I told him I was staying with whoever was in the classroom at the time. There was no way I was going to let him ask any questions I thought inappropriate. Although I never asked him to stop when he asked,
"Ron…I'm going to ask this because Voldemort is going to kill anyone close to Harry."
Ron had already been broken down by Lupin's question of if his parents had known, and now he looked like he was going to cry.
"Do you really love him?" Lupin continued.
There. That had done it. I grabbed Ron's hand to force him to stay there. I hated Lupin for asking the question but I knew it needed to be done.
"Ron," Lupin prompted, "I'm sorry but, at this age sometimes the only reason you even begin to think that you're in love with someone of the same sex is curiosity. I'll admit, Sirius and I did have a relationship for a few months when I thought I loved him, and it never worked out. You need to think very hard."
Ron never had a chance to answer. Finally Lupin gave in and let him leave. Harry never came in to answer questions. And then Lupin wanted to talk to me.
"Do I think they love each other?" I exclaimed, repeating his question for me, "Remus, I can't answer for them." I used his first name, this was not his business, "But I think they do in all honesty."
"Hermione," Lupin said, sounding exasperated, "I know you think this isn't fair for me to ask you anything, but it's for your safety. If Voldemort-"
"Finds out Ron and Harry are in love with each other then he's going to kill Ron, we've all talked about it!" I interrupted, standing up, "Me, Ron, and Harry. We all know. They know. They worry about it every day!"
Frustrated, I grabbed my school bag and stomped out of the classroom. All my respect for Lupin was gone. I knew our safety was in his best interest but he couldn't interrogate us like this. Not about a relationship. When I walked out of the room, Harry and Ron were gone. I hadn't expected them to stay there with Ron that upset. I didn't go looking for them, I just headed to the Great Hall and sat down next to Ginny.
"Where are they?" she asked me, obviously meaning Ron and Harry.
"Lupin told us to stay after class," I said, and then explained the conversations we had had with him.
"He actually asked him if he loved Harry?" Ginny exclaimed in a whisper, "That's kind of…rude."
"A teacher doesn't even have the right to ask that," I said angrily. I was unable to eat. I was worried about Ron. He hadn't even stood up for him or Harry when Lupin asked him that question. I had been able to tell that Ron just thought this was all fun, but he did sometimes act like he was completely in love, but it did leave me wondering and it had apparently forced Ron into actually thinking. Did he love Harry?
And I knew Harry obviously did love Ron. I knew that for sure. He had never said it, Harry didn't talk to me about the relationship. But it was obvious. I didn't know how or why, but it was apparent that he was in love. And a part of me knew that he knew Ron was probably just having fun, but he didn't care.
Lost in my thought, I didn't notice that Harry had just sat down next to me. I looked over at him, he was angry.
"How is he?" I asked, gently touching his arm.
"Well…" he replied, trailing off, "Worse than when he came out of the classroom. He didn't tell me what happened. What did Lupin say?"
"Something inappropriate," I responded, "I'd rather have Ron tell you. Did…" I dropped my tone to a whisper and leaned closer to Harry, "Did Sirius ever tell you that-"
"He dated Lupin?" Harry finished, "Yeah, he did. Of course he did. He knows about me and Ron. That was the first thing he told me."
"What did your dad think about it?" I asked curiously.
"He didn't approve, but Sirius said that my dad told him as long as they were happy."
I smiled. He didn't return it. I knew he was worried about Ron.
The day went by slowly. And that night we all sat in the common room on the couch in front of the fire. Ron still looked upset and Harry still looked worried. Ron had seemed to avoid him all day, but I don't think he even noticed that he was. I watched them, Ron curled up against Harry.
By now they were both the same build and same height. But when I had first seen Ron that summer I had almost honestly mistaken him for Bill but with shorter hair. Harry never seemed to really change, but he had perked up a bit since being Ron's boyfriend.
I found the relationship slightly odd in the fact that Harry seemed more dominant than he had been. I always thought Ron had been the dominant one in the relationship but after studying it further, he was the shy one. He had actually admitted that he was scared of intimacy. I never thought he would be one to be scared of that, but after realizing how self-conscious he was I could see how that could happen.
I, being a girl, honestly thought Ron was gorgeous. After maturing a bit. He wasn't the least bit fat, but wasn't so skinny anymore. Everything seemed to be muscle. I had seen him with his shirt of plenty of times before since I had gone to the Burrow a week before school had started.
"Ron," I said suddenly when I stopped thinking about all this, "Do Bill and Charlie know?"
Ron, whose eyes had been closed, looked over at me and said,
"No. At least...I didn't tell them. Fred, George, or Ginny might have. I'm not worried about them knowing, though. Just my parents."
"Do you honestly think they're going to disapprove?" I asked, hating to ask him all this after what had happened in Lupin's class.
I saw his hand tighten around Harry's and he said,
"I don't know what they're going to say."
I didn't pursue it.
Review, please.
I don't know if I like it yet, so...