Pre-Author's Note: Introducing the Sniper Buddies! This will be a bunch of non-canonical mini chapters involving Shepard, Garrus, and Ashley as they get into ludicrous situations and generally just give each other a hard time.
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Sniper Buddies – On the Rocks
Ashley checked herself over one more time in the mirror in the girl's restroom. She'd never been one to worry over her vanity, but she still wanted to make sure she looked nice if they were going out for drinks.
Although their business on Noveria was over with, the Normandy was still stuck in port for some time because of the station's cloistering bureaucratic regulations. Since they had some time to kill, Shepard asked her if she wanted to check out the local bar with him and Garrus.
Ash took her hair out of its usual bun and tied it up into a more fashionable pony tail. She'd dug out the pair of blue jeans and casual shirt she'd bought on the Citadel just in case she needed something less formal than her BDU's. And since it was likely going to be chilly in the docking area, she borrowed a light jacket from Montreal.
Satisfied her makeup was touched up just enough, Ash exited the bathroom and made her way up the stairs to the CIC. John and Garrus should be waiting for her by the airlock, ready to go.
Well, she was right on the first account.
"Can you help me with the scarf?" she heard Garrus ask.
"Yeah, sure thing, buddy," John replied as he reach up to loop the bright red scarf around Garrus' neck.
Ashley slowed her pace as she walked down the bridge, utterly dumbfounded by what she saw. Shepard wore a winter coat that looked thicker than his armor, the collar pulled tight round his chin. He had comically oversized winter boots on, and he was decked out with a wool cap and matching gloves.
Vakarian was even worse off. He donned a Turian style jacket that looked thicker than elephant hide, and his pants looked overly puffed up with insulation. The red scarf was pulled tight around his neck and lower jaw, and it looked like he was wearing some kind of wool sack over the spurs on the back of head.
They turned to Ash as she approached them, both of them perplexed by her wide eyed stair. John checked out her attire. "Don't you think you're dressed a little light, Ash?"
"I thought we were going out for drinks, not a Siberian expedition," she accused.
"While I have no idea what a Siberia is, we're still going out for the former," Garrus stated. Gesturing to himself and John he explained, "Shepard and I are just making sure we're warm enough for the walk there."
"I can certainly see that," she said as she crossed her arms, exasperated. "Don't you think you're going a little overkill, though?"
"We Turians are native to a much warmer climate," Garrus argued. "We aren't as adept at shrugging off the cold like humans or Asari can."
"It's barely fifteen degrees colder out there than on the ship," she countered. She turned to Shepard with an accusatory look. "And what's your excuse?"
"Well unlike yourself, I've actually been out there already. I know damn well how cold it is, so this time I'm going outside prepared."
Ashley rolled her eyes. "I have been out there. I was helping Joans trade gear and equipment while you guys were off on your mission. It was cold out, sure, but not enough to warrant dressing up like a couple of eskimos."
"Why do you keep using these words I don't understand?" Garrus whined.
Shepard gave her a mild glare. "You cannot possibly tell me it isn't freezing out there."
Ash stepped closer to him in an authoritative stance. "It's not even cold out there."
"Where the hell have you lived where that," he pointed an accusatory finger to the airlock, "isn't cold?"
"Groundside," Ash said flatly. "I've lived through winters my whole life. I went outside and played in the snow with my sisters. I've actually been caught in a blizzard while out camping with my father. This," she indicated the air lock as well, "is a light breeze to me."
Shepard tried to cross his arms, but realized his coat was too poufy to let him properly move his arms that way, so he settled for placing his hands on his hips. "I didn't live my life like a barbarian. I lived on starships and space stations, where the temperature is regulated and kept at a comfortable level for all those aboard. Sapient species are not meant to live in an environment colder than seventy degrees."
Ash sighed as she shook her head. "Oh, I get it. You two are just a couple of softies."
Garrus huffed indignantly at her, an action that was completely nullified by half his face being hidden behind a fuzzy red scarf. "Well, Miss Winter Wonderland, why don't you put your money where your mouth is? Go out there and tells us for certain you don't think it's cold."
"Gladly." Ashley pushed pass them and slammed the door control for the airlock. They walked into the decontamination area and waited for the cycle to complete in awkward silence. Then the cycle completed its run and the outside doors began to open.
They were immediately assaulted by the cooler air of the station. Ash herself had to suppress a shiver as the cold air rushed past her, and she felt the need to put her hands in the pockets of her borrowed jacket. But Ash gave herself a moment to adjust, and as the air settled she went from cold to pleasantly cool. She blew out a breath of air and watched the light cloud of condensation curl out from her lips.
"See, not so bad, right?" she asked over her shoulder. She heard no response from the two men behind her, save for a chattering sound. Ash turned to see what they were doing, and resisted the urge to physically face palm.
Shepard and Vakarian were both shivering violently, their arms curled tight around their bodies to try and keep in the warmth. And the chattering sound was apparently being made by Garrus' mandibles clacking against his mouth plates.
Shepard gave her a deathly glare. "Y-you're inhu-human," he stammered at her with far less heat than he wanted to.
Ash rolled her eyes and strode out of the airlock, listening to the two men's clonking booted footsteps follow after her.
"Pansies," she muttered.