Samus sat alone at a cafeteria table. She hated new places and having to make new friends. She looked out across the cafeteria at the other Smashers. They all seemed to have their own little cliques, Marth sat next Ike and they were chatting away, Link was staring at Zelda with little hearts coming out of his head, the ice climbers were throwing food at each other. The star fox team were talking about their past adventures, while Kirby and Yoshi wrestled over the last doughnut. She sighed at her loneliness even Sonic had made new friends despite how annoying he is. She poked her food with a fork and was reluctant to eat it. It reminded her of a split open Metroid and she sighed and pushed it away. She rested her head on the table and closed her eyes.
Snake looked around the cafeteria and saw that everyone was already hitched and he sighed. Alone again he thought as he started to walk to a table in the corner but a young blonde in a power suit caught his eye. He looked at Samus who was sitting alone with her head against the table, her helmet sat besides her the only one giving her company. He started over towards her and his mind scrambled for something to say. He was pushed out of the way by someone else who promptly took his spot.
Her current position didn't allow her to detect a presence next to her. She jumped back when it coughed and gave her a cheeky grin. Her emotional state quickly went from startled to anger as Captain Falcon proceeded to blurt out, "Show me your moves."
Samus glared at the cheeky Captain Falcon and couldn't believe that he was actually using that as a pick-up line. Her anger boiled as she reeled at his audacity, she quickly punched him out of the seat and stuck her arm cannon in his face. "Get away from me," she said lividly as she charged it up. Captain Falcon held his face and scooted away.
Snake, who watched the whole thing, made an about face and headed for the corner. Great golly giberson he thought as he sat down, Otacon was right, stay away from Samus she is deadly. He looked at her as she started to eat and sighed. He looked at his own disgusting meal and started to eat. His meal was interrupted by a ringing sound in his ear, he sighed and answered his codec.
"Snake, what's going on?" Otacon asked, worried.
"I'm eating," Snake said slightly annoyed.
"Oh…alooone?" Otacon asked mockingly.
Snake sighed he liked Otacon but sometimes he just wanted to wring his neck. "Yes, Otacon, alone, solo, oden*, by myself." He replied his annoyance growing, he looked over at Samus whose beauty was breathtaking.
"So why don't you stop eyeing Samus and sit by her?" Otacon said.
Snake snapped out of his daydream and sputtered, "Wait, what…" he looked around the room to see if he could spot Otacon, "are you spying on me?"
"So you were eyeballing her! Sheesh you're such a perv go talk to her," Otacon said laughing.
Snake ignored the insult and said, "Yeah right so she can punch me in the face?"
"Oh she won't do that, just go over there I'm sure she'd fall for a gruff, narcissistic, war-riddled, damaged, hope crushing, girlfriend killing, dark, hopeless, perverted old cloned solider with a shortened life span. I mean it's all the rage in Paris."
"Gee, thanks Otacon you know how to make me feel like a million bucks."
"Anytime buddy," Otacon replied and left.
Snake looked back over to where Samus was and realized she had left already. He picked up his tray and dumped it in the sink. He walked out of the cafeteria and towards his room, he looked at the ground and sighed. He turned a corner and ran into Samus, he ricocheted off of her suit and hit the ground. He saw it was Samus and yelled, "I'm sorry, don't punch me in the face," as he covered his face with his arms.
Samus took off her helmet and looked at the legendary solider. She extended her hand, which he reluctantly took, "Why would I do that?" she asked as she helped him to his feet.
"Um…well" Snake said while he looked off to the side and thumped his pointer fingers together, "I saw you punch Captain Falcon in anger."
"Oh that idiot," Samus said and started to charge up her arm cannon in recurring anger. Snake cringed as the blue ball got bigger. "He just makes me so mad I could- I could-" and without warning Samus punched the wall not realizing that she was merely millimeters from Snake's head. Snake looked at her in a mixture of shock and fear. "Oh sorry Snake," she said when she came back.
"i-t-t-s ok," he stuttered paralyzed by her sudden burst of anger.
Samus smiled at him and walked off, Snake stared after her, small hearts coming out of his head and thought wow, she could kill me in a heartbeat. He looked at the hole in the wall that she had left, pieces of drywall fell to the floor, in a heartbeat.
Snake walked back to his room and got ready for bed, he lay in bed and thought about Samus and her powerful arm. He sighed and fell asleep.
The next morning Snake got up and got ready for practice. He had to admit it was weird here in brawl. There was such a weird cast of characters from different places, universes heck even eras. He sighed and turned on his shower and stepped in. Moments later a loud, "Otacon, I'm in the shower!" could be heard throughout the house.
Snake waited for his match-ups to appear on the giant screen. It was team battles with friendly fire on. Great Snake thought, not used to having a partner. His enthusiasm grew when he realized he was teamed up with Samus. Small hearts starting appearing above his head, "Dude you should have that looked at," Wolf said as he walked by.
Snake walked into the waiting area and saw Samus sitting by herself with her arms and legs crossed. He swallowed his fear and walked over to her, armed with a conversation starter. He quietly sat down beside her and stared into space. Samus looked at this tall, well-built man who appeared to be shaking.
"So…um… we're on the same team today," he finally spat out.
"Yeah, I hate teams so don't get in my way," Samus said aiming her arm cannon at him, Snake covered his eyes with his hands and cringed.
"Ok, ok I promise," he said with fear in his voice.
Snake sat quietly next to Samus who seemed pissed at team battles. Snake twiddled his thumbs and sighed. Why am I so afraid of her? He thought and glanced at her arm cannon and his eyes shot back up oh that's why. The time to battle came and they were up against Ganondorf and Kirby. They entered the Bridge stage that Snake loathed. "I've got Kirby," Samus yelled out and jumped after Kirby.
Snake looked after her and sighed, I guess I'll take Ganondorf he thought and looked back at the King of Evil who was slowly running at him. At Ganondorf's rate Snake thought he could steal another look at Samus, he looked at her grabbing Kirby and flinging him into the air, he smiled and saw a purple haze out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his attention back to Ganondorf who was flying across the stage and kicked him in the stomach. Snake flew back and knocked someone down. He realized it was Samus when she shoved him off of her and yelled, "Get off of me."
Snake fell forward onto his face and Samus jumped over him. He smiled up at her and the small red hearts appeared again. Ganondorf picked him up off of the floor and Snake snapped back into reality. Ganondorf blew Snake up in a purple fire. Snake fell to the ground and jumped back up. He kicked Ganondorf back and ran after him and lunged into him. He jumped up in the air but immediately fell back down to Earth, he looked up from the floor and saw that Samus had jumped off of his head, she gave him a 'that's what you get' smirk and followed Kirby. He got back up and ran after Samus, he stood in front of her and she punched him in the face. He punched her back and she punched him back harder. He kneed her and punched her and she fell back.
"What the heck are you doing?" Samus yelled and got up, she jumped Snake and began to pummel him.
"You jumped off of my head," he said through her blows.
Kirby and Ganondorf stopped and stared at the fighting two, they winced as Samus repeatedly punched Snake. "I guess she's going to do our job for us," Ganondorf said to Kirby.
Samus kicked Snake in the face and sent him flying into Kirby, "Get back in the game," she said and charged up her cannon.
Kirby swallowed Snake and ejected him taking on his facial hair and bandana. Snake got up and was about to beat his image out of Kirby when he was grabbed from behind. He struggled under Ganondrof's strong grasp while he just smiled evilly at him. He kneed Snake in the crotch and Snake yelled out, "Ah! no, I need those!"
Ganondorf laughed and kneed him again, "get him off of me!" Snake yelled and Samus kicked Ganondorf in the back and he let go of Snake.
Snake was on his knees holding his hurting crotch, he rested his head on the ground and groaned in pain, Samus grabbed his hair and pulled him to his feet. "Get up and get back in the game," she barked.
Snake winced and attempted to stand up, but settled for bent over with his hands on his knees, "you get kneed in the crotch by Ganondorf and try to stand afterwards," he said frustrated.
Snake stood up and let out a puff of air. He was trying to get over his pain as he looked in the air, his recuperation was cut short when Kirby kicked him in the stomach, "Oof! Ok, ok" he said and held his stomach.
He kicked Kirby across the stage, killing him. Ganondorf had grabbed Samus and was about to hit her, but Snake came over and grabbed Samus, he set her down gently. "I'll take care of this," he said.
He turned back to Ganondorf and kicked him off the stage. Samus got up and smacked Snake in the back of the head, "What was that for?" he asked and rubbed the back of his head.
They won the match regardless of their bickering. Samus walked off angrily, she took off her helmet and wiped her brow. Snake followed behind her and was starting to feel her anger but didn't realize the full force of until she turned around and grabbed him. "How dare you!" she yelled.
Snake eyes widened in surprise she gripped his buckles and got in his face, "what did I do?" he asked innocently.
"You grabbed me out of the way, I could have handled Ganondorf on my own, I don't need your help," she said through clenched teeth.
"Um…sorry," Snake said as little hearts appeared above his head. Samus saw the small hearts and was confused.
"What?" she asked and they disappeared. She let go of Snake and held her head, "maybe I got hit too hard, I could have sworn there were small hearts above your head."
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said and swatted another heart away.
Samus sighed and turned around, she shook her head and walked away. Snake looked after her in a daze. He was interrupted by a ringing in his ear, he sighed and answered it.
"Hey Otacon,"
"So how was your day?"
"Got to fight alongside Samus," he said still in a daze.
"Oh and how'd that go?"
"She punched me in the face a couple times,"
"Sounds like it went well,"
"Bye Otacon," Snake said and left. He rubbed his now black eye and sighed. It was lunchtime and he was ready to eat. He walked to the cafeteria and got his food, he saw Samus eating alone and walked over to her and sat down. She looked at him and narrowed her eyes into slits.
"I'm sorry," he said and looked at his food.
"What?" Samus said surprised by his apology.
"I'm sorry, I did what I did I just thought he was going to hit you,"
Samus looked at Snake, his hair was all over the place and his torn bandana hung down his back. She could see the outline of his muscles through his skin-tight sneaking suit. She felt something stir inside of her and she shook her head. "Apology not accepted," she said and turned away from him.
Snake hung his head and sighed, "I understand."
"You do?" Samus said and looked back at him surprised.
"Yeah, I shouldn't have tossed you out of the way, you're a strong and capable woman and I shouldn't have treated you that way."
Samus was speechless how could he be so in tune to what she was thinking. She looked at him and blushed, "I'm sorry too…for hitting you….again and again and again…" Snake continued to look at his plate as she continued to iterate those words over and over.
"Yeah I get it," he said looking at her.
She saw his shiner and said, "Did I do that?" and pointed at it.
"Yeah I believe so," he sighed.
"Sorry, I feel bad now," she said and huffed. She slowly brought her metal finger up to his face and poked his black eye, he winced and she asked, "does it hurt?"
"Well when you poke it like that, yes,"
"Oh, sorry," she chuckled at his response. Despite his actions he did amuse her. She got up and ruffled his already messed up hair and said, "Well it was fun," and walked off.
Snake looked after her and a heart appeared, he sighed, looked at his food and it silently died. He finished eating and cleaned up his area. He was glad to have the rest of the day off. He plopped himself down on the couch in the large TV room and turned it on. Despite the very large screen blaring at him his mind wandered back to Samus. As he thought the small hearts started to appear again and the curious ice climbers grabbed one out of the air. They held it mystified, the small fragile heart beat slowly, they threw the heart at Snake's head and it bounced off and disappeared. They both giggled with pleasure and began throwing Snake's hearts at his head. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the small objects ricocheting off of him.
The ice climbers fun was interrupted when Wolf shooed them away. He picked up one of the hearts and got Snake's attention, "What is this?" he asked.
Snake snatched the heart and said, "I don't know what you're talking about," innocently as he could, he threw the heart behind him and it disappeared.
"Don't play coy with me, I held the beating thing," Wolf said angrily.
"I don't know exactly, they just kind of happen," he said.
"You need to see Dr. Mario," he replied and pulled Snake off of the couch.
"I don't think this is necessary," he replied coldly.
"Hush," Wolf pushed Snake into Dr. Mario's office and said, "fix him."
"Well what seems to be the problem?" Dr. Mario asked.
"Nothing," Snake started but was interrupted by Wolf barging in saying "he keeps generating small red hearts, fix it."
Snake sighed and sat down. Dr. Mario looked at Snake and said, "Is this true?"
"I guess so," Snake said and twiddled his thumbs.
"I need to see one can you do it again."
"I don't think I can."
"Well what were you doing the last time they appeared?"
Snake thought back to Samus and not too long the hearts started to appear. Dr. Mario laughed and said, "They're nothing wrong with you Snake, I think a pink-winged Pit may have shot you with an arrow."
"There's nothing you can do about it, and what is it?" Snake asked.
"No not really," Dr. Mario laughed, "you are one of those types that doesn't outwardly expresses his feelings and you can't keep those bottled up so you're mind has found a way to release the feelings on its own. Just don't think perverted thoughts otherwise they'll explode," he replied and pushed Snake out of his office.
"Well?" Wolf said with a raised eyebrow.
"He says I'm fine," Snake said and walked past him. Snake walked back to his room and lied down on his bed. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Samus woke up and got ready for battle. She sighed as the announcement of, once again, team battles were declared. She was appalled at who her partner was, Captain Falcon, and who she had to face, Snake and Wolf. Snake saw the match-ups and sighed, he couldn't bring himself to fight Samus. The fighters stepped into the arena, Wolf nudged Snake and said, "I've got Captain Falcon, I can't stand that idiot."
Snake sighed, he didn't want to fight Samus. Wolf jumped up to the top level and went to face Captain Falcon, Samus charged at Snake and he dodged out of the way. He dodged her attacks but didn't fight back so she grabbed him and said, "Why won't you fight me you coward?"
"I can't," he said but wasn't allowed to finish before Samus tossed him. He landed into the wall and Samus charged after him. Before he could get up she had charged into him knocking him back into the air. She shot a homing rocket at him and charged up her arm cannon. Snake fell on the top level in between Wolf and Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon grabbed Snake and kneed him, "Ow! What is it with you and Ganondorf?" Snake yelled and broke away, he kicked Captain Falcon away and fell to his knees.
"I know that had to hurt, but I can't play bodyguard for too long," Wolf said as he pushed both of them back.
"Yeah, yeah I know, I just need a second." Snake groaned.
He finally got up and started to fight Captain Falcon. He dodged several falcon punches and kicks. He rolled under a falcon punch when a ringing in his ear got his attention.
"A little busy Otacon," Snake said while he grabbed Captain Falcon and tossed him.
"Are you fighting Captain Falcon?"
"I guess you could say that,"
"Ohhhh boy… let's do that thing we've always wanted to do,"
Captain Falcon sent a falcon kick into Snake's stomach knocking him back. "Right now?" Snake asked and rolled to his feet.
"Yes," Otacon replied seriously.
"Fine," Snake said and huffed, "Falcon Puuunch!" and punched Captain Falcon in the face.
"Falcon Kiiiick!" Otacon yelled and laughed like a grade-school boy.
Snake caught another falcon kick to the stomach and got the wind knocked out of him. He fell to his knees holding his stomach and gasped for air. At which point, Samus came up behind him and sent him flying off stage. Wolf growled in anger as his teammate died. He jumped up to meet Samus and caught a kick in the face. He flew back into a falcon punch and went flying off stage.
Snake was sitting in the dead zone when he watched Wolf's fantastic death. He materialized back in the waiting room and saw an angry Wolf coming at him. He tried to turn around but Wolf grabbed him and brought him down to his level. Snake stared into Wolf's angry eyes and Wolf stared into his submissive ones. "What was that?" Wolf barked at him.
"What I didn't do anything,"
"Exactly, why didn't you take care of Samus?"
"I can't…hit her," Snake finally said and unhooked Wolf's claws from his skin.
"Get over it," Wolf said and punched Snake in the gut and walked off angrily.
Snake let out a gasp of pain and rubbed his sore stomach, his stomach already hurt from the falcon kicks and Wolf's punch didn't help the situation. Snake sighed and slowly walked out of the waiting room. He was still in pain from the battle and walking hurt. He was walking down the corridor when Samus came up and punched him in the arm. "Ah! What is it with everyone and hitting me?" he spat out before he realized it was Samus.
Samus's angry stare caught him off guard. "What did I do?" he asked a little fearful.
"Why did you go easy on me?" she yelled and punched him again.
"Ow!" he cried and held his arm, "how do you expect me to answer when you keep hitting me?"
Samus hit him again, "Alright alright, I just didn't want to hit you," he finally blurted out.
"Why not?" Samus said aiming her arm cannon at him.
Snake stared down the barrel of her gun and looked her in the eye, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. She started to charge up her gun and his facial expression changed to one of fear as she was preparing to shoot him. As she was about to pull the trigger a large explosion occurred above them knocking them down with its shockwave. Samus jumped back up and looked around, Snake was picking himself off of the floor when she yelled, "What was that?"
"I have no idea," Snake said and stood up.
Samus headed towards the stairs and Snake reluctantly followed. They got to the top and saw a huge gaping hole in the side of Smash manor. "What the-" Samus yelled.
There was stuff everywhere and it appeared that a couple of rooms were missing. "Who were in those rooms?" Snake asked.
"I think Lucas and Ness," Samus replied and headed downstairs.
Snake followed and said, "maybe they were kidnapped."
"Why would they be?"
"No idea,"
"ALL SMASHERS REPORT TO THE MAINLOBBY" an announcement rang out.
Snake looked at Samus and shrugged his shoulders and they headed to the main lobby. When they got there, there was a large noise as everyone talked at once. Snake noticed that a few people were missing but assumed they were late. Snake sat by Wolf and asked what was going. "Apparently Lucas and Ness have been kidnapped by Ganondorf and a few others,"
"What?"
"Yeah, they don't know why though,"
Snake was about to reply when a large crash was heard. The once calm but talkative people were now fighting and throwing things. "Whoa what is going on?" Snake yelled as a chair was thrown.
"I have no idea," Wolf said as he struggled under an enraged Link, he kicked Link away and said, "What's wrong with Link he's usually docile?"
Snake looked around and everyone was acting out of character, they all seemed to be in a fit of rage except for a select few who were making their way to the exits. Snake grabbed the struggling Wolf and made his way to the exit as well. He opened the door but Samus ran through it before he could react. "Let's get out of here" she yelled and ran outside into the forest.
Snake and Wolf ran after her and they saw the Halberd coming up from above them. Samus was already several yards in front of them with Snake lagging behind, Wolf was in between the two fighters. A large claw came down and grabbed Wolf right off of the ground. Snake skidded to a halt and tried to jump after his only friend who was being carried off to the Halberd. Samus saw that Wolf was being taken and she ran back towards them. She jumped off of Snake's head forcing Snake back down to the ground and attempted to grab Wolf's outstretched hand but fell short a few inches. She landed on Snake crushing him under the weight of her suit.
She got up and looked at Snake who was feeling a mixture of sadness and pain. She grabbed him and pulled him up, "We have to find a safe place," she said.
Snake reluctantly started to run again until they were deep within the forest. They stopped running and walked until they found a cave. "We can bed down here for the night," Samus said and pushed him first into the cave.
"Why do I have to go first?" he asked as she shoved him in there.
"Because I don't want to get attacked by whatever is in here first," she said and listened for animals.
"It's clear," he said and light a match.
"Primitive," Samus said and pulled out a lantern, she turned it on and it illuminated the small cave.
Snake blew out the match and sat on the ground next to the lantern. It didn't provide much warmth; Samus looked at Snake and said, "Ok don't freak out."
"Freak out about what?" Snake said and looked at her.
Samus pushed a button on her suit and it fell apart, "Whoa," Snake said and jumped back.
Samus laughed at him and pulled a blanket out of her crumbled suit. "Is there anything you don't have in there?"
"Kitchen sink," she replied and lied down under it.
Snake looked at her, he was cold and desperately wanted to be under a nice warm wool blanket. "Hey Samus do you think I could-"
"No," she shot back without letting him finish.
"Ok," Snake said and looked at the lantern sadly and rubbed his arms.
He lied down on the cold ground and shivered in silence. Samus couldn't find a rock that fit well enough as a pillow, she looked around in search of one and her eye came to Snake's shivering frame. She shook her head and scanned the cave again. She couldn't find anything and sighed loudly. "Ugh! Fine Snake get over here," she yelled.
"What?" Snake said confused.
"Get over here stop stalling," she snapped at him.
Snake jumped up and quickly ran over to her, "Um, yes," he said a little scared.
"I need a pillow so make haste," she said. She grabbed him by his hair and pulled him down towards her face, "you try anything and I'll make you wish you were never manufactured," Snake looked into her unwavering eyes and knew she wasn't playing, "got it?" she asked.
"yes ma'am, got it ma'am," he said frightened.
She let him go and he was scared to move. "Well aren't you going to lie down?" she asked after awhile.
Snake lied down on his back and Samus rested her head on his stomach, finally a nice soft pillow she thought and closed her eyes. Snake was no longer cold as the small red hearts started to appear again, they bounced off of his face and disappeared. He didn't seem to mind, all he could think about was how great this was. He rested his hands on his chest and watched as his hearts grew too big to sustain their flight and plummeted to the ground. Snake was almost asleep when Samus said, "Snake, I'm cold will you warm me up,"
Snake looked down at the sleepy Samus, whose head was turned away from him. "Uh are you sure?" he asked her, not wanting to feel her wrath.
"Yes, hurry up or I'll kill you."
Snake reluctantly shifted until he had his arm around her waist. "Thanks Snake," Samus said.
Snake was still afraid of her, despite his fear and constant peppering from little red hearts, Snake managed to fall asleep.
Samus woke up and realized that Snake was behind her. Oh that little rat she thought. She carefully got up so as not to wake him and she put her suit back on. She charged up her arm cannon and stood over top of him. She pistol-whipped him in the face and he woke up to the barrel of her cannon in his face. He held his face and stammered, "What? What happened what did I do?"
"Don't play dumb with me, you know what you did,"
"I don't know what you're talking about, please you have to believe me."
"I woke up and your arm was draped over my waist, who do you think you are? I won't let you get away with it," she said and pistol-whipped him again.
"What? Why are you upset? you told me to do it," he replied in shock.
"Why would I ever tell you to do something like that?" she said and stuck the cannon in his face.
"You said that you were cold and needed me to warm you up, honest," Snake said putting his hand on the top part of her cannon.
"Is that the story your perverted mine came up with?" she yelled and put her hand on the trigger.
"No, I swear I did what I was told, I can prove it."
"How?" Samus said still angry at him.
Snake remembered what Dr. Mario had told him about his exploding hearts, but he didn't want to reveal them to her because she would question, but she was about to kill him so he had no other choice. He generated a heart and showed it to her said, "See this, this is why I'm innocent,"
Samus aimed her gun at the heart, did her eyes deceive her or did a small red heart really just pop out of this man's head. "How does that prove anything?" she questioned and aimed the gun back at his face.
"If I was thinking a perverted thought, like the one you are accusing me of then you would have been woken by this little guy exploding."
"What is it?" she asked.
"A um…he's a heart,"
"How do you know the explosion would wake me?"
"I could show you, but don't hit me," Snake replied. He looked at Samus and started to formulate a perverted thought, the little heart in his hand started to beat faster like a time bomb and he threw it in the air where it exploded loudly. "wow I didn't expect that to work," he whispered to himself.
"Whoa," Samus said, she looked back at him and stuck her gun back in his face. "Maybe you're right, maybe I was half asleep when I asked you to do that crazy thing," she said and lowered her gun, Snake breathed a sigh of relief. "But I still need to punish you," she said and stuck the gun back in his face.
"What?" Snake yelled in frustration, he put his right hand on the top of the barrel again and looked behind her.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow you away," she demanded.
Snake didn't say anything he just pointed with his right pointer finger at something behind Samus. Samus turned around and was grabbed by Bowser. "Ah! Snake help!" she cried but he was already in Ganondorf's clutches. Ganondorf knocked Snake out and carried him over his shoulder to an outstretched claw. Bowser carried the struggling Samus to another claw and they rode up to the Halberd.
Snake woke up on a cold hard floor, it was slightly damp and his head hurt. A faint dripping noise was causing him irritation; he stood up and realized that he was chained to a wall. He was pulling at the chain when an irate Samus punched him in the face, "This is all your fault!" she yelled.
Snake fell to his hands and knees. He touched his bleeding nose and said, "my fault? How is this my fault?"
Samus grabbed him off of the floor and slammed him into the wall, she held his arm behind his back and forced it up. Snake cried out in pain, "It's so your fault!" she yelled at him.
She threw him on to the floor, kicked him over on to his back and sat on his chest. Snake noticed that she wasn't in her suit, nor did he have his explosives. A ringing went off in Snake's ear. She started to yell and commenced with punching him in the face while she did, "If it wasn't for you and your inability to keep your hands to yourself, we wouldn't be in this situation. I have never been captured in my entire life! If it wasn't for your stupid grubby little hands I wouldn't be here and I would still have my suit!"
Otacon heard Samus yelling and said, " Woah! I can see you're busy I'll call back later," and hung up.
She stopped hitting him long enough for her to take a breath. Snake pushed her off of him and got on his hands and knees. "It's not my fault!" he yelled.
Samus jumped on his back and got him in a headlock. "Not your fault! Not your fault! It is your fault you perverted-" Snake threw her over his shoulder and stood up, she landed on the ground with a thud.
"It wasn't, you told me to," he started to protest. His protesting was cut short when she sent her foot into his stomach knocking the wind out of him.
Snake fell to his knees holding his stomach, worse than Captain Falcon he thought as he attempted to breathe. Samus knelt down beside him and looked him in the face. She had to admit that his black eye, broken nose and busted cheek did make him look cute and pathetic. "It was your fault, just admit it and the beating can stop," she said and grabbed his hair.
"But it wasn't, admit that you're wrong," he stammered and winced.
"You're not really in a position to be making demands," she said.
"But you are wrong, it's the principle of the matter" he said through clenched teeth.
She stared at him and curled her hand into a fist, she drew back her fist and was getting ready to punch him. Snake closed his eyes and waited for the blow, he was surprised by a "Yeah, I know it was my fault."
Samus let Snake go and he breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned against the wall and held his hurting stomach. "Where are we?" he asked.
"Some dungeon under the Halberd," Samus replied and sat next to him.
"Well crap," Snake said and closed his eyes.
"I hope you're thinking of an escape plan," she said and looked at him.
"All I can think about right now is this throbbing pain in my eye," he said and rubbed his eye.
"Oh," she said and looked at the ground.
She thought of how they could possible escape, her immediate concern though was to get out of these ridiculous chains, she hated being tied down in any way shape or form. She then remembered Snake's exploding hearts and jumped up, "By Jove I've got it," she said.
Snake stood up and said, "Well?"
Samus eyed Snake and he blushed nervously, she walked around him and looked at the back of his head. She was trying to figure out where the hearts came from. When she couldn't find it she tried pacing but the moment she lifted her foot she tripped and she came crashing down, dragging Snake down on top of her. Their chains were hopelessly tangled. "Get off of me now!" Samus yelled from underneath Snake.
"As much as I'd like to I can't move," he said and looked her in the eyes to let her know that she was telling the truth.
"Now! Snake!" she yelled, Snake tried to get up but his feet were entangled in her chains, his chains, and her legs. "Mark my words mercenary you'll never have kids when I get done with you."
"As scary as that thought is I really can't move," he said and attempted once again to get up.
Samus managed to move around to where he wasn't on top of her. They were both sitting, facing each other their legs entangled with each other and their respective chains. She started to untangle the chains. Samus's foot was precariously close to Snake's crotch, Snake noticed and this made him hugely nervous. "You weren't serious about your previous comment, were you?" he asked as he started to untangle the chains.
"Yes, why do you-" Samus said and realized where her foot was; she stopped untangling the chains and gave him an evil grin.
"Please don't," Snake pleaded.
"Maybe I will maybe I won't," she said and went back to work in undoing the chains.
Snake was nervous as he undid the chains as well. Samus started to slip a chain over her extended foot, she was straining to get it over her foot. "Do you want me to-" Snake started but was cut off.
"Don't touch me, I can do it myself," she said and managed to slip it over her foot, all the pent up tension she was holding with the chain suddenly released and her foot went flying forward into Snake.
Snake felt the impact and bent over in pain. He groaned in agony, he held the area she had kicked and shook his head. "Oops, my bad, I didn't do that on purpose I wasn't going to actually hit you, " Samus said, feeling a little remorse.
Snake covered his mouth as nausea and pain swirled around him. "You going to be ok, big guy?" Samus asked as she saw him turn green.
Snake managed to keep his stomach contents down because there weren't any. "I wish that for just once you could experience the amount of pain you just put me through," he said and winced as the second wave of pain hit him.
"It was an accident, sheesh," Samus said and got the chains halfway undone.
"Still hurts," Snake said and lay on his back, he covered is eyes with one arm, hoping the pain would subside.
Samus stood up and realized she was going to have to go around Snake a couple of times in order to fully untangle their chains. He was lying on the floor so moving the chain around him would be difficult. She sighed and sat down beside him, she rested her head on her hand and inquired, "Is it really that bad?"
Snake sighed, "is childbirth?" he retorted.
Samus laughed and said, "Just tell me when you want to get over it, you know we don't have lives to save."
Snake groaned in annoyance and sat up, he huffed, "What was your big plan?"
"I was going to use one of your exploding hearts to blow the chains off and then wait for the guard to come and we ambush him, then we find out who's responsible and we give them what they rightly deserve," she rambled.
" You do realize in order for it to explode I have to think perverted thoughts,"
"Yes I know,"
"About you," Snake finished.
Samus looked at him, "What?" she said getting ready to hit him.
Snake cowered and quickly said, "it's the only way they'll work."
"Why does it have to be of me?" she questioned, she wanted to shoot this perverted man in the face.
"Because…I think…" Snake stammered.
Samus smacked him in the back of the head, "spit it out."
"I may have grown attached to you," he said and looked at her.
Her facial expression didn't express joy or any kind of positive emotion at all. Snake winced as he expected to get hit. "So you're saying you like me?" she asked finally.
"Um…yes," Snake answered and closed his eyes.
"I'll deal with this later just generate a heart,"
"You don't mind me thinking perverted thoughts about you?" he asked.
She smacked him and said, "I do mind and like I said I'll deal with it later, but right now we need that heart so get cracking,"
Snake looked at her, "now!" she yelled.
Snake flinched, he started thinking but a ringing in his ear interrupted him.
"Otacon, what do you want?" he growled.
"Just wanted to know what the heck is going on?"
"A couple of the evils banded together and are trying to take over, now would you stop I'm trying to think perverted thoughts about Samus!" he snapped.
Otacon was speechless. "You're trying to do what?" he asked finally.
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later." He said and left.
Without any more distractions he was able to generate a few exploding hearts and they blew their chains away. They hide in the shadows and waited for the confused guard to come in, which he did promptly. Samus jumped on the unsuspecting guard's back and dragged him to the floor. Snake tied him up with the chains.
Samus snuck out the door while Snake followed behind her. They were able to make their way to the level above them without any trouble. But the second level was swarming with guards. Samus peeked around the wall she was hiding behind. "Uh, crap how are we going to get past all of this?"
Snake looked around them for a way around it, he spotted an air vent and tapped Samus on her shoulder and pointed up. She looked at him and said, "I don't do air vents," Snake gave her a "are you serious?" look and cupped his hands together to allow Samus to reach the vent.
"Ugh," Samus replied and looked at Snake.
"Just don't put your foot in my crotch again," Snake said as she put her foot on his cupped hands.
"Yeah, yeah , yeah…men,"
Snake tried hoisting her up, but she was a lot heavier than he expected, she crawled on top of him and tried to reach the vent.
"Ow! Get your hand out of my eye," Snake whined.
Samus ignored him and managed to pry the vent open and hoisted herself into it. There was barely any room to move around, she reached back down and grabbed Snake's hand and started to pull him up. "Geez Snake how much do you weigh?" She asked in frustration as she slowly hoisted him up.
"Well I am one of the heaviest characters in the game," He got an arm in the vent and managed to pull himself up.
They started to make their way through the vent. Samus was in front leaving Snake to deal with the view. Snake tried his best to remain focused but he had no choice but to stare straight ahead. Samus stopped and looked through the vent below her, it was a dark room, looked like another dungeon. Her observations were interrupted by Snake yelling "Oh crap!" but before she could turn around to look a large explosion sent them plummeting to the floor.
Snake hit the ground first and Samus landed on top of him with a loud crunch, knocking the wind out of him. She got up and looked around immediately. Snake just moaned and rolled on the ground. When she saw that the coast was clear she looked at Snake and yelled, "What was that?" she kicked him.
Snake didn't answer, he just rolled on the ground in pain. She noticed that he was in a lot more pain than her kick would have caused. "What's wrong?" she asked and knelt by him.
"I think you broke a rib," he said and held his side.
"Crap," she moved his hand and pushed on his rib, he cried out in pain and rolled over. "Yeah that's broken."
"I'm sorry Snake, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"No, it's not your fault it's mine," he said and slowly sat up and looked at her.
"Are you two done with your moment? because I'd like to get out of here," a gruff voice said.
Samus jumped up and looked into the darkness, "Who goes there? Show yourself!" she yelled.
"It's me, Wolf," Wolf replied and stepped forward, he was chained to the wall and he was in worse shape than Snake.
"Wolf!" Snake and Samus yelled together and Snake winced and held his rib.
Samus looked at Snake and said, "We need an exploding heart,"
"I'm kind of in a lot of pain right now, thinking corrupt thoughts isn't really high up on my list," Snake said and held his rib.
Samus sighed as she knew what she was going to have to do. She grabbed Snake and kissed him. Snake's pain disappeared, he was shocked at Samus's actions. He felt closer to her now than every before. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest, Samus felt something stirring inside of her again and she pulled back. Snake looked into her eyes and she looked into his. She suddenly felt attracted to him but shook it off, it's just business she thought to herself. Snake's hearts started to appear and Samus grabbed one and tied it around Wolf's chains as it started to beat faster. It exploded taking Wolf's chains with it.
"Wolf what happened to you? we thought you were dead," Samus asked.
"No they captured me and tried to get me to join their legion but I refused and they threw me in here,"
"Do you know what they're up to?"
"They've captured Lucas and Ness and are using their PSI abilities to send humanoids in a fit of rage, using their emotions against them. But it looks like its effects are limited as it doesn't affect aliens. So it won't affect you Samus, but I don't know why Snake hasn't been affected."
"I think it has to do something with these," Snake said and held a heart. "Dr. Mario said that I don't express emotion, so maybe it doesn't affect me because of that."
"It doesn't matter why it doesn't work as long as it stays that way," Samus said and headed for the door. She heard guards coming their way and she shushed them and told them to get ready to ambush them.
Snake slowly got up and Wolf readied himself. The guards burst in and were surprised by the three-man ambush. The three made their way out of the prison cell and Samus asked, "Do you know where they took my suit?"
Wolf thought for a moment and said, "I don't know but I would imagine they would keep it somewhere safe, under lock and key."
"Is there a vault?" she asked and peeked around a corner.
"I did see one on my way down, I think I remember how to get there," Wolf said and took the lead.
They ran down several corridors and through several doors all the while avoiding guards. Snake started to lag behind as the pain in his side gripped him. Samus noticed that he was lagging behind and turned back to get him. "C'mon Snake we have to keep moving," she said and grabbed his hand.
"I know, I know," Snake said and tried to run again.
They reached the vault and Wolf and Samus looked at it in awe. It was a huge door with a large handle that would take three people to turn. "I don't think any amount of hearts is going to blow through this," Wolf said.
Snake was bent over holding his rib with his hand on a small file cabinet for support. He spit up a little blood on to the floor, but no one else noticed. "A safe is only as strong as the walls it's connected to," Snake said still bent over.
Samus looked back at Snake and ran to his side. She helped him to stand and he limped over to vault. He handed her a heart and fell to his knees. She threw the heart at the wall and it blew a very large hole in it. "You really put a lot of oomph in that one," she said and looked at him.
Wolf managed to sneak through the hole and found Samus's suit and Snake's explosives. He threw the explosives at Snake and Samus helped him put it on. She looked in his eye and saw the pain he was in, she felt sad but didn't know why. Snake handed her a grenade and pointed towards the hole. She used it to blow a larger hole in the wall. Snake lied down on the ground and held his rib. He felt like he was slowly waning away. Samus put on her suit and walked back through the hole. She knelt down by Snake and used Wolf's claw to cut through his suit over top of his broken rib. The skin underneath it was blue and purplish. "Crap," she said.
"What?" he said and spit more blood onto the ground.
"I think you're broken rib has punctured something, if I don't do anything you're going to bleed to death."
"Well, I had a good run," Snake said and closed his eyes.
"Now hold on," Samus said and pulled out sutures.
"Do you know what you're doing?" Snake sighed.
"Sort of," She handed Snake a cloth.
"What's this for?"
"You're going to want something to bite down on," She said as she pulled out a scalpel.
Wolf tied the cloth around Snake's mouth and held him still as Samus made a quick, sloppy incision. Snake silenced his cried in the cloth, Samus saw the source of the bleed and she pulled his out of his spleen and repositioned it, she quickly sutured up his spleen and sewed him back up. By the time she was done, Snake had passed out from pain.
"Well, it's amateurish but it will hold until he gets a professional," she said.
"How are we going to wake him up?" Wolf asked and untied to cloth.
"I have no idea," she threw Snake over her shoulder and they continued on. "We need to get out of here and find the other immune people."
Wolf took the lead as he searched for some form of an escape pod. They were an easy target due to Snake's injury and they couldn't risk being caught. The Halberd was a very large ship and they had to weave in and out of corridors. There were no escape pods to be found, "we're so screwed," Wolf said as the reached the deck of the ship.
A loud crash was heard and they turned around to see Bowser and Wario staring at them. Ganondorf was piloting the ship; he aimed the ship's guns at them and prepared to blow them to smithereens. Wolf saw a sparkle out in the distance and grabbed Samus's arm, "We have to jump," he said.
"Are you crazy? The fall would kill us."
Wolf didn't pay her any attention; he just pushed her off of the edge and jumped.
A streak of white came out of nowhere and scooped them up, Kirby atop his flying star had caught their fall. Samus shot Wolf a deadly look as she held Snake in her arms. She looked at Snake and wiped the hair out of his face. She stared into his face and felt her attraction growing. How could she fall for a solider she was a legendary bounty hunter, she didn't fall in love. But despite this fact she couldn't help but want to be with him.
Snake came to and he was in Samus's arms. He attempted to get up while stammering an apology but Samus held him back down and said, "stop squirming or you'll injury yourself again."
Snake looked up at Samus and was shocked to see that she was allowing him to touch her. Snake looked into Samus's clear blue sky eyes and she stared back into his deep ocean colored eyes. Small hearts started to appear above Snake's head, Samus looked at them and smiled and to Snake's surprise she kissed him. As she kissed him one tiny blue heart appeared above her head. It was too small for anyone to see but it marked the beginning of something big.
Kirby flew them to where the rest of the smashers were hiding out. No one knows how Kirby knew where to be and when, they just accepted it and were grateful. .