Disclaimer: blah blah blah not mine.

A/N: I am not even going to try to align my fics with the canon HP series. If I screw up dates, what happens in certain years as opposed to others, oh well. If you don't like it, well then you can suck it, can't you? For all intents and purposes, this is an AU fic. There, does that make you feel better?

Also, some people may wonder why they brought Sirius sandwiches and other things instead of chicken. Well, the short answer is because I'm a goddamned vegan and this is my goddamned story. So deal!

Harry Potter's Secret Heartache

A boy like no other, perhaps- yet a boy suffering all the usual pangs of adolescence, writes Rita Skeeter. Deprived of love since the tragic demise of his parents, fourteen-year-old Harry Potter though he had found solace in his steady girlfriend at Hogwarts, Muggle-born Hermione Granger. Little did he know that he would shortly be suffering yet another emotional blow in a life already littered with personal loss.

Miss Granger, a plain but ambitious girl, seems to have a taste for famous wizards that Harry alone cannot satisfy. Since the arrival at Hogwarts of Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Seeker and hero of the last World Quidditch Cup, Miss Granger has been toying with both boys' affections. Krum, who is openly smitten with the devious Miss Granger, has already invited her to visit him in Bulgaria over the summer holidays, and insists that he has "never felt this way about any other girl."

However, it might not be Miss Granger's doubtful natural charms that have captured these unfortunate boys' interest.

"She's really ugly," says Pansy Parkinson, a pretty and vivacious fourth-year student, "but she'd be well up to making a Love Potion, she's quite brainy. I think that's how she's doing it."

Love Potions are, of course, banned at Hogwarts, and no doubt Albus Dumbledore will want to investigate these claims. In the meantime, Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate.


Ron's blustering about Hermione's new status as a "scarlet woman" and Snape's insistence on reading the article aloud to his class were, so far, the only notable events in Harry's day- except, of course, the letter he had received from Sirius that morning. On that grubby paper it had read, Be at stile at end of road out of Hogsmeade (past Dervish and Banges) at two o'clock on Saturday afternoon. Bring as much food as you can. Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to see his Godfather again.

So, meeting Ron and Hermione in the common room, around noon as they had planned, as they prepared to leave for Hogsmeade, he couldn't help letting a giggle or two slip from under his invisibility cloak. Ron had trouble keeping a straight face as well, even though he didn't know why Harry was in such a good mood, and Hermione managed to worry enough for the both of them.

The weather was better than it had been in weeks. Ron threw off his cloak and stretched in the pleasant air, turning to Hermione and Harry (or where he assumed Harry was) with a wide grin. "Where're we off to first?"

"Well..." Hermione's mouth quipped up into a smile. "I have a favor to ask of you, Ron."

"Oh, no." His face fell slightly. "What is it now?"

She handed him a bag of coins. "Dobby." She said simply.

"Oh, bloody hell, Hermione, you want me to get socks for the elf- again?" His exasperation, however understandable, irritated Hermione. Before she could launch into another S.P.E.W tirade, Ron grabbed the coins. "Alright, I'll get him the craziest socks I can find. What about you t- about you? Where are you going to be?"

"I'm going back to the castle to find Harry. He needed some help with his Potions essay." She gave him a meaningful look.

"Alright." Ron sighed, with a look equally meaningful that read 'you're going to tell me later, right?' Hermione sighed at his lost puppy look as he headed to Gladrags.

Harry emerged out from under his cloak as soon as Ron was out of sight. "Fin-al-lyyy," he groaned. "It's not easy hunching under that cloak for so long!"

Hermione giggled, pulling the cloak around them both. It left their bodies, from about the mid-thigh down exposed, caused another round of sniggering to break out between the two before Hermione cast a Disillusion charm on them.

The march to the stile proved to be rather uneventful, except for the occasional hand-brushing and the resulting blushing and giggling. When they reached the end of the street and saw Padfoot, Harry bolted out from under the cloak before Hermione could stop him, leaving her to stand, invisible, and laugh heartily at a Harry without legs, apparently floating, run and hug the filthy dog.

Harry and Hermione sat, petting Buckbeak contentedly as Sirius devoured half of the food they'd brought him. Harry's face was pained as he looked his Godfather up and down, taking in the filthy robes and emaciated figure of the man he'd saved only a year before. Hermione's expression was the same, although she tried to hide the tears in her eyes by making a crack about Sirius' smell making her allergies act up

His bark-laugh was barely audible through the mouthful of bread and peanut butter. As soon as he located the flagon of pumpkin juice- magically refilling, to his immense joy- he began to speak.

"I've missed you, Harry. You as well, Hermione. What's been happening at Hogwarts?"

"Well..." Harry took a breath, trying to decide where to start. After a moment he sighed and nodded to Hermione, who gladly took the reins.

"Well, you see, after the Second Task, Krum pulled me out of the water and asked me to spend the summer with him, told me all this about never feeling 'this way' about a girl before-" Sirius snorted, grinning but nodding for her to continue. "and then he brushed this bug out of my hair, which didn't seem like a big deal at the time, but the after this happened-" she tossed a copy of Witch Weekly at Sirius, who quickly scanned the article, stopping every few moments to laugh heartily at Harry, "I started to think, where could Rita Skeeter have heard those things? Then it hit me- she was there! Of course, how could she have been, unless she has an invisibility cloak, which I doubt and Moody would've seen through it anyway, or she's an Animagus!" At this point, she paused to take a breath, grinning at the look on Sirius' face.

"Wait- you mean, that bug in your hair was Rita Skeeter?" He collapsed against the wall, falling into hysterics. "Oh, bloody Merlin that's brilliant!" Hermione nodded, looking proud of herself at her powers of deduction.

"But, what we were trying to figure out is where she got the idea that we were dating. I can't remember ever- well, doing anything that would make someone think that-" Harry blushed, despite the fact that his Godfather knew all about the confusing dynamics of his and Hermione's friendship/relationship/thing. "except maybe when Hermione hugged me before the first task. She must've gone off of that, because if she had been around when we thought no one else was, she'd have a lot more to talk about than the Potter-Granger-Krum love triangle. You know, like escaped convicts on the loose in Hogsmeade and what not."

"Alright." Sirius wiped his eyes on his robes. "So, she's picked up on your scheme with Krum, quicker than we thought anyone else would, but she hasn't heard anything she shouldn't." The two nodded. "Is there any chance that Krum could've let something slip?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, there's no chance of that. Ever since I approached him about this, he's been completely in agreement. He puts up this charade to keep girls from bothering him, to irritate Karkaroff and to eventually escape from his family and Durmstrang, as well as get out of the Triwizard tournament, all under the impression that he's chasing after his soul mate and giving everything up for her-" Hermione allowed herself to snicker with the others at the idiocy of the common magical community, "and all the while he'll be getting his own home and pursuing his dreams, whatever those may be. In exchange, Harry and I get to keep our relationship a secret and keep working to get this whole-" at a loss for words, Hermione threw her hands in the air- "situation under control."

Sirius nodded again. "So, that's all set. Now, onto business." He grabbed a few large pieces of parchment and began to unroll them, only to be interrupted by Harry jumping up and crying out, "I almost forgot!"

He began to dig through his backpack again as Hermione finished unrolling the parchments. He pulled out a bundle of clothing and handed it to Sirius, alone with a pair of boots and a handful of rubber bands. Sirius bounced happily as he examined the pair of pants, two shirts, socks, underwear and thick, sturdy robe Harry had brought him, as well as the boots. "Got tired of you looking like an unwashed dog in your human form," Harry explained with a grin.

Sirius teared up and hugged his godson. "Oh, pup, you didn't have to do this. But thank you." Without even a hint of modesty, he yanked off the filthy robes and looked down at himself with a grimace. Hermione blushed and kept her eyes on the parchment while Harry cast a cleaning charm on Sirius. As soon as he had his clothes on and the two had settled on the floor with her, she sat up and tried to look serious.

"Now then, let's get on with it." Sirius pulled out the everlasting quill Harry had brought him weeks before and put it between his teeth. Hermione and Harry nodded, pulling out their notes, or diaries, as some muggles might call them.

"Things we know," Sirius read off. "Time to update the list?"

"Definitely."

"Right then..." he got ready to add on to the extensive list. "Mad-eye Moody is definitely not himself. He's an impostor. Do we know this for sure yet?"

Hermione nodded, flipping through her journal. "Yes, I asked him about his Order of Merlin, first class, and he told me that infamous story of how he took down eleven death eaters at once."

Sirius shook his head. "Whoever it is doesn't know as much about Moody as he or she should. I thought it was common knowledge Moody refused to accept those things."

Harry nodded in agreement, glancing at his own journal. "Next, Barty Crouch is either missing, dead, or in hiding, and he didn't inform his co-workers or colleagues of any intention to leave."

Sirius scribbled this down, chewing on one of the many pieces of muggle chewing gum Harry had brought him. "D'you think it could be Crouch pretending to be Moody?"

Harry shook his head. "No, he would know all about Moody and his exploits, what with being his boss for so long... wouldn't he?"

"Unless he was pretending... but that would mean he knows that we know he's not Moody, and..." Hermione shook her head. "Well, let's not go into that, it's a little far-fetched."

Harry nodded in agreement. "Now, what's next..." He turned the page in his journal. "The Weasley twins don't trust Dumbledore, of that I'm almost absolutely sure."

Hermione looked startled. "When did you figure this out?"

Harry handed her his journal. "They're planning on opening a business, a joke shop, and they've been doing quite a lot of research lately. They've even making some arrangements to get their own bank account at Gringotts. They're doing all of this behind Dumbledore's back, and at first I thought it was because they didn't want their mother finding out, but..." he shook his head. "I've talked with them a few times, and that's not the case. They've been arguing with their mum via owl over the joke-shop thing for quite some time, and she knows some of what they've been doing lately. But they're still very secretive and try to stay out from under Dumbledore's radar as much as possible. I don't think the Weasley parents have any reason to distrust Dumbledore, but the twins do."

"What could it be?" Hermione chewed nervously on her bottom lip. "He's let them get away with so much over the years, you would think they would trust him, at least to an extent..."

"Perhaps they think if he knew of their plans he would try to stop them."

Harry and Hermione looked at Sirius, surprised. "But why would Dumbledore care about a joke shop?"

"Not the joke shop." Sirius took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You remember what I told you about the Order?" Both of them nodded. "Well, back then, it only seemed rational to give up your life-plans to defeat Voldemort- after all, you'd probably be murdered no matter what if he got to power. Your mother gave up several promising positions, things that had never been offered to a muggleborn before. Your father could've become a full-fledged Auror before he was even of age, but he didn't. Lupin was excelling in tons of fields, mostly studying magical creatures and potions, and he could've been something great until his secret was discovered. And I..." he became solemn. "I had plans as well. I had dreams and ambitions that didn't involve a great stupid dark lord. But, we all gave up what we wanted to be in Dumbledore's order and fight Voldemort. He didn't even have to ask us. However, now, things are different. Not everyone is going to jump at the chance to give up their dreams to go chasing after a dark lord that's half-dead."

Hermione gasped. "You mean, he's asked them to bugger their plans and just help find Voldemort?"

Sirius nodded. "It's definately a possibility." He thought for another moment. "They're smart enough to pretend to go along with it, too, and he would definately start with Fred and George, as Charlie and William already have careers, and Percy doesn't seem likely. Yes, he would want their interest so that Molly and Arthur would follow. They wouldn't join the Order now because they wouldn't want to put their children in danger. However, if it was to keep an eye on their children and keep the family together, it would be a different story."

Harry shuddered. "I can't believe he would..." he chose not to finish the thought. The look on his face was enough to convey the betrayal he felt. He sighed as Sirius leaned over and hugged him with more strength than he thought the man could have in his state. Hermione smiled at the two from her place beside Harry, more than a little surprised when Sirius grabbed her as well and pulled her into the hug, causing both of them to blush.

"Oh, you two are so cute! Have you kissed yet?" Hermione gasped, turning red. Harry tried to act like he hadn't heard. Sirius laughed hard at the two blushing fourteen-year-olds. Things were better now than they had been in so long, even if some nutter was messing up Harry's life.

"Oh, get serious," Hermione said before she could stop herself. Sirius erupted into another fit of laughter. "Really! So- so, cutting to the chase... are we going to be able to do it soon?" Hermione tried to fight the blood that had rushed to her face from earlier.

Sirius caught his breath and began to roll up the parchment. "Well..." he took another breath. "Yes, and no. We're ready as far as what you needed to do at Hogwarts. I've finished my part of the paperwork and you two have, as well... you've been accepted, as well." As though on an afterthought, he handed several envelopes to Hermione. "So, except for saying a few goodbyes and making a large withdrawal from Gringotts, we're ready."

The two students nodded. "That's the yes part." Hermione observed. "What's the no?"

Sirius looked them both in the eye. "Are you two sure you can do this? Can you handle this?"

Harry nodded slowly. "It's not... It's not as if we'll never see anyone ever again." He laughed half-heartedly. "We're not going to another dimension or something."

Hermione nodded as well. "It's not going to be easy, but, it's best, isn't it?"

"Are you asking or telling?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Hermione sat up straighter. "Telling. We know this is right. It's hard, but... it's right. It's the best thing to do."

Sirius looked at Harry. "What about Ron?"

The two fell silent. "That's the hardest part," Harry whispered. "We know better than to try to get him involved... he can't leave his family, his world. He belongs here in ways we don't. He wouldn't be happy anywhere else."

Sirius hugged the young man once more. "I suppose you two are ready then. You know, you've really got Skeeter to thank for this. Without this stupid article, you two would have to wait even longer. This is evidence enough to set everything in motion." Everyone smiled at the irony.

Hermione suddenly giggled. She tried to stop, but after a moment she fell sideways and began to laugh without restraint.

Harry looked at Sirius, confused and a little frightened at Hermione's apparent madness. Sirius mouthed 'women' and shook his head with a smirk.

"I just- think about it- the look on- on their faces-" she began to cough. "The look on their faces when we drop this dungbomb on them. It's- it's going to be priceless-" She began to laugh once more, and Harry had to smile at her mirth.

"This isn't going to be considered a declaration of war, is it?" Sirius burst out laughing as well at Harry's sudden concern.

"Harry... think about our Ministry. Fudge. Dumbledore. You think they're going to take on the whole world? Cause trouble like that? They'd be ousted so quickly, they wouldn't even know what'd hit them." Harry sighed at the two giggling children in front of him, then admitted to himself that, however sad it was, it was kind of funny in a way that you had to focus on to keep from crying.

Aside from the fire crackling in the Gryffindor common room, all was silent. Hermione filled out an instant-order form for Flourish and Blotts, checking every book on the long list that looked interesting. She'd already done this several times before, but on this night she had a sudden bout of pre-nostalgia and decided to order as many books as she could on Hogwarts. Harry was lying on the couch, his head on her lap. It was easy to see that they were much calmer and closer than they had even been in front of others. Hermione was rather relaxed as well, even though she never felt comfortable using the money in Harry's vault, no matter how many times he told her it was all right. Her love of knowledge was the only thing that overcame her reluctance.

Harry sighed, putting down the snitch he'd been toying with. "Do you think we'll regret it?"

His voice was so full of concern Hermione had to put down her quill and the form. "Harry?"

"Do you think we'll regret it? Do you think... do you think it'll be horrid? Do you think Ron will hate us? Do you think Mrs. Weasley will ever forgive us? Do you think we'll be considered villains, like Sirius? That people will give us looks wherever we go and we'll never be trusted again? And-"

Hermione shushed him before his voice rose any further. "Harry, we've already thought about all of that. What happens is what happens. We have to do this, you said so yourself." He only nodded, stretching as he sat up and off of Hermione's lap.

"I guess I'm just nervous." He looked into the fire as he spoke. "Guess I'm just afraid I'm not strong enough."

A moment of silence passed before Hermione grabbed Harry and turned him around, lunging toward him and crushing her lips against his. It wasn't what they imagined; Hermione's hands holding Harry's robe from where she had turned him around, Harry's neck slightly sore from lying in her lap so awkwardly for so long, and her shoe getting caught on her skirt and making it very awkward for her to stay balanced on the couch, on her knees and leaning against Harry for support. But it took Harry's breath away and it was perfect. It was his first kiss and it was so wicked and he was trying not to smile, because he didn't want to break it, but Hermione began to giggle, so he did as well.

Harry tried to think of something to say, but he couldn't. He just smiled, as did Hermione. "Not exactly how I imagined it," she admitted. "I thought you would do it. But it was.." she simply smiled and sat more comfortably next to him. "It was the best first kiss ever."

Harry grinned. "Well you only have one, so technically-" he stopped as she smacked him in the arm, giggling and shaking her head, happy that he was sufficiently distracted.

"But it was the best first kiss ever, you're right about that."

She smiled even wider as she finished checking off the list of books she wanted and handed the form back to Harry. "Hermione, why don't you just check what you don't want? It wouldn't take so long then." He chuckled at her offended pout, pulling out his wand and tapping the form. The form disappeared, and in a few seconds another piece of paper appeared.

Mr. Potter,

Your order has been processed. Your order will be sent to your safety deposit vault at Gringotts bank, as requested. The gold has been removed from your account.

Please contact your Goblin liaison if you have any further questions.

Without an excuse to remain downstairs, Hermione hugged Harry against and stood. "We need to get some sleep."

Harry nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow." Just before he left for the boys' dormitory, he leaned forward and kissed Hermione very quickly on the lips. He tried to quell his happy grin as he headed to bed, as did Hermione on her way upstairs.

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