A/N: This is incredibly different than my other stories. If you are in anyway offended by anything other than sex between a man and a woman, or have issue with abuse, please don't read.
"Barney, it finally happened," she purrs into the phone, turned on as can be.
"What?" he questions. She can't possibly mean what he thinks she means.
"Plan blue French horn is a go."
"God, I never thought a smurf penis could be so sexy."
"I know. Want to come over and celebrate?"
"Absolutely. Ellie is at a sleepover anyway."
"God, you are so fucking hot Scherbatsky," he moans as he pounds her into the sheets. "I love that this is how you want to get Ted back. I love it so much."
The thought of their plan makes him fuck her harder than ever, at a speed she can barely match with her hips. She hasn't seen him this turned on in years, and not that she blames him. Not only are they turned on by revenge and secret plots, but the idea of how their plot is going to go down makes the situation even more sexually charged. And the way she is going to do it, Ted won't see it coming.
All it takes is one more thought of Ted and the impending future, and all thoughts are gone as one of the best orgasms of the past month spills over her.
"God, this really turns you on, doesn't it?" Barney chuckles as he kisses her neck, recovering from his own release.
Her knowing smile is all he needs to know.
"You little minx," he teases. "I can't wait to start this journey with you."
"Just to be clear, you know I am going to have to have sex with him a couple of times, right?"
"I know. But the justice will be worth it."
"So, we are picking up where we left off, right?" Ted asks, finally at her place after coming home from their first date.
"Our relationship? Sure," she says nonchalantly. Being non-committal at this point is a big part of the plan.
He leans in to kiss her, and she turns her head away.
"No kissing. Just take me to the bedroom and show me what you got."
It seems that Ted's skill has gone down over the years. Not that she's surprised. After all, once one grows accustomed to Barney, no one else is quite the same.
"Come on baby, come for me," he screams, and she knows he is close. And just like she wants, she's not close at all.
She watches as he loses control on top of her, but instead of faking it like she used to, she just waits. She's going home after this, and Barney will be there, so she will have plenty of time to let that sexual tension go.
"You didn't get there?"
She shakes her head, trying to put the most disappointed look on her face that she can.
"I'm sorry. Is there something I can do? I promise it's just because it's been so long for me. Next time will be different."
"It's fine, Ted. Not a big deal." But in her head she's smiling. He just played right into her hand.
The next time isn't much different. She finds herself somewhat closer to orgasm, but not much, by the time he spills his load inside of her.
"Robin, I'm so sorry. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do?"
"Actually, can you lick me?" she asks sweetly.
"Wait. There? Now? Isn't that weird?"
"Not to me."
"Okay."
He moves tentatively between her legs, taking a short lick, until he realizes it's not that weird. It's not that weird at all. He's grateful they at least used a condom, cause THAT would be weird.
"Ted?"
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking that maybe tonight we could, umm... do that thing I used to like to do," she suggests.
"You want to fuck me?" he asks, skeptical.
"Yeah," she admits.
As much as he doesn't want to, he really wants to be with her, and it's wasn't that bad, so he agrees.
She starts small, bending over him, lubing him up, and hoping for the best. She certainly had practice in making Barney come from this, and she certainly would be able to make Ted bend to her ever desire.
She angles herself, grabs his cock, and profanities start shooting out of his mouth. She knows in an instant she has him exactly where she needs him.
"Robin, stop, I'm going to..."
He can't even get the words out before he shoots his load all over his chest. She glances over to the clock. Five minutes. That must be a new record.
"Wow, Robin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."
"It's fine, we'll just do this," she replies, climbing up onto his face and lowering herself down.
Coming down from the high of a quickie with Barney, she realizes just exactly what this plan has in store for the both of them. Barney will get to play with his bisexual side, she'll have the opportunity to play with new things she's never done before, and Ted, well, Ted will finally learn his lesson that Barney and Robin were always the right couple, no matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise.
"You want me to wear this ring? This ring of steel around my cock?"
"Yes, I do. It's been enough times now. It's obvious that you alone aren't enough. Maybe this will help." He feels slightly belittled by her comment, but at the same time, he wants to do anything to help her.
"Okay. Give it here."
"Thanks, Ted."
He pushes and pulls it on to his most sensitive areas, and he's legitimately surprised. It makes him hard in a way he didn't think was possible anymore. Plus, he can see that Robin is visually turned on.
He rolls on the condom, and lines himself up to enter her. He pushes against, and slides in faster, much to his surprise. She's much wetter, and he thinks that if he had to go through a little embarrassment to do that to her, well, the it was worth it.
Robin is slightly surprised by the improvement the ring makes. Not that his size increase was the intended purpose. No, small baby steps were needed, and today was the day for two of them. He was falling into their plan faster than they thought, but today was an even bigger test. When he went down on her today, would he notice the difference? Just the thought of him licking her pussy with some of Barney still inside from earlier turned her on tremendously. She would have to be careful, or it would all be for naught.
And yet, she didn't have to worry. The ring made Ted more sensitive, and in turn, there was less time for her to get anywhere.
"Gosh, I'm sorry Robin. I can't even do this right."
"Just get down and lick me."
She's so turned on, and one lick makes her moan in a way usually reserved for Barney. He takes a few licks, and suddenly his tongue is exploring deeper into her pussy. He pulls away, leaving her moaning for more.
"You taste so good today, baby. I love that you are so wet for me."
A huge grin spreads over her face. This is going to be easier than she thought. He likes the taste of Barney's cum. That thought alone throws her over the edge.
"Not only did he say he liked the taste, he licked me clean," she tells Barney later, as they lie in bed together.
"God that's hot. I feel so powerful. How much longer do you think we have?"
"Slow and steady, Barney, slow and steady."
"God, this is hot, Robin," Ted moans, as she fastens the last restraint to his wrist.
"Being tied up, or the thought that I can do anything to you?" she asks, hoping for the latter.
"Both."
"Awesome. So I can do anything to you?" she asks seductively.
"Well, no, I didn't mean that."
"Come on Ted. Step outside your comfort zone."
"What are you doing?" He asks as he hears her fumbling beside the bed. He can't make out what she is doing, but it heightens the anticipation.
"Oh, just getting ready for some fun."
His eyes widen in surprise as he see her reveal a cock slightly bigger than his own, even with the ring. Yet, it makes him strain against the ring. She climbs onto his chest, pushing herself up towards his face, until he has no choice but to take the dildo in his mouth. He finds himself slightly good at it, although nowhere near as good as Robin used to be at getting it all the way in her mouth. Then she is ramming it in, just like the porn movies he used to watch, and he can't help but get more turned on.
Then she's gone and moving between his legs and lubing up, and he can't think, and one stroke against his magic spot and he's coming all over his chest.
"Well, well, well, look who has quite the gay fantasy."
"No," he insists. "No, I don't it just felt good."
"Ummhmm," she argues with a wink.
"It did. You're amazing."
"Yes, I am. You gonna help finish me off?"
"Yes, please."
She climbs back down aside of the bed, coming up with some sort of chin strap, and an even larger piece of silicone.
"What's that?"
"Oh just something to help get me off. You can't seem to get me off while fucking me, so you can watch me get off while I fuck this and you lick my clit."
It's only fair, he thinks, plus, he's still really turned on by the power play. She straps it on to his chin, and it's the first time he truly realizes just how far he would go for Robin Scherbatsky.
"Ted, skip the condom."
"You sure? It might make later weird."
"Do it," she demands, and he doesn't dare say no.
"Okay. I'll do it."
She pushes him down, and proceeds to climb on top, giving him little time to think. She rides him hard, the way she knows takes little time to get any guy off. She pounds him hard, knowing that she is going to get off the minute she climbs on his face and he starts to slurp his cum from inside her. She watches him lose control underneath her, and as soon as she knows he's done shooting, she rips herself off his cock and sets her pussy right on his lips. He moans in protest at first, but she grinds into him, and he opens up his mouth, letting it all flow in. Soon, his tongue is digging into her core, searching for every last bit of his own cum, and she loves it. It's one of the last steps to throw her ultimate plan into motion, and he's eating it up, no pun intended. It's her thoughts about the plan, and one perfectly timed lick that make her shudder and fall.
"We really are quite the gay boy, aren't we?" she coos as she slides back down his body.
Ted realizes he has no choice but to nod his head.
She knows the last step is going to have to be done carefully, or the whole plan will get shot to pieces.
Her afternoon fuck session with Barney while Ted was at work was incredible. Both of them had been so turned on by the idea of what was approaching, that they barely needed anytime in between their multiple times. Yet, her turn on didn't end there. She couldn't wait to tell Ted he was actually getting someone else's sloppy seconds. It was time to pull out all the belittling stops.
The ring had increased to a cage for his balls, just a step down from the chastity device she would put on him someday. Yet here he was, filling her up, yet she was still stretched and loose from Barney this afternoon. But nonetheless, it was time. It was time to begin the last step.
"God Ted, would you fuck me like you actually have a cock?"
"I am."
"It feels nothing like the cock I had in me this afternoon." Her comment makes him pause, and look at her with a startled glare. "What, I can't talk dirty to you?"
Oh, it's just a way to fulfill what she thinks is his gay fantasy, he thinks.
"He came in me so many times. I just love the feeling of you mixing those juices together even more, so you can add your own."
"Oh god, Robin," he moans, the thought of it more of a turn on than he thought.
"You love it, don't you? I feel wetter than normal, don't I?"
He nods, his eyes closed as he fucks her as hard as he can.
"Maybe I should invite him to join us next time. You can suck his real cock, he can fuck me, and you can learn how I really liked to be fucked."
"Oh god yes!"
"Then you can lick his and my cum out of me, since he will make me come multiple times."
"Oh.. I'm... UGGGGHHH!" he screams, spasming out of control.
"Get down there and lick the cum from all three of us out of my pussy," she demands, barely giving him time to recover.
He does as ordered, and he can't help but wonder what that was about. Yet he licks and licks, because the taste is so intoxicating, and yet different today, almost like the first time time that she made him wear the ring. Like maybe someone else's cum is really in there. But it can't be. It just can't be true, he tells himself.
"Robin?" he starts to talk as he falls down beside her.
"Yeah?" she responds.
"Ummm..."
"Did you like that?" she asks, trying her best to be sweet.
"Yeah, but I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea. I mean..."
"Ted, just relax and go with the flow," she replies, stroking his arm gently. "But now that you bring it up, I was wondering something else."
"Yeah?"
"What do you think about wearing a chastity device?"
He realizes he should say no, but he can't. He wants nothing more than to make Robin happy.
"Okay."
"Great," she sneers, pouncing into action and tugging it on, while he is can't even think about getting hard again.
"I didn't think you meant this fast," he half chuckles.
"Never underestimate me," she winks, making a show of sliding the key inside of her.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asks, hopeful. "I'll sure be ready to be out of this thing by then."
"Yes. You will see me tomorrow," she promises. If he only knew.
"You're not taking me out?" he asks, slightly horrified by the idea. The piece of metal around him reminded him of her all day.
"Why should I?" she scowls, lubing up the dildo she knows is closest to Barney's size. "You don't need to use it to have an orgasm. I can just fuck you. Plus, it's not like I get anything out of you using it," she cackles as she slides the silicone inside of him.
"Oh fuck," he moans.
"See? There. That's what I mean. Plus, I can get other people to fuck me and actually make me orgasm, making your cock obsolete," she derides, her domineering side coming out yet again. "Unless you want to fuck one of the guys that fucks me."
"Ohhhh!" he shouts again.
"You want to fuck another guy up the ass?"
"Yes," he almost whispers, out of breath from the pleasure.
"Is that just so you can get the cage off?"
"No."
"Well, you can't. At least not right away. You have to prove your worth as a bottom first," she sneers. "You have to suck him off. You have to watch him fuck me first. You have to lick our juices out of my pussy and off of his cock, and while you are licking off his cock, lube him up for your asshole."
"Ohh god!"
"Oh you like that? You like the idea of another man doing to me what you can't?"
"Yes..."
"Good, cause you've never made me orgasm, for the exception of that Thanksgiving. But I can make you come just by fucking your ass."
"Ahhhh..."
"And you can't even use your cock to help you. I could tie you up and pinch your nipples and you would be a slave to me and only me."
"Oh GOD! AHHHH!" he shouts, cum dripping out of him in a way he never thought could happen.
"That's it, Ted, blow your load. It's a shame you can't reach it with your tongue to clean it up," she says, pulling out and away.
"Why is that so hot?" he asks, once he's come back to a cognizant state.
"Because you want it, Ted, you want to watch me fuck someone who can really give it to me. And then you want them to fuck you, while you lick out my pussy."
"Robin... I don't know..."
"I'll let you think about it," she says, as she starts to dress.
"Wait, so you're leaving?"
"Yep."
"How long am I going to be in here?"
"Until you can agree to have someone help get the key."
"Robin, I'm still thinking about it," he says the next night as she comes into the bedroom.
"And you want to be fucked?" she asks, tingling from the plan.
"Yes, please," he pleads.
"Okay, but you won't get to see anything," she replies confidently, grabbing a blindfold from her bedside table.
"Anything," he agrees. "I'll do anything to get some relief."
He waits for what seems like a long time as she ties him up and finally, she slips a finger into him.
"Oh, yes, your fingers. Gahh..." he starts to moan.
"I'll be back," she announces, pulling away from the bed. "I have to go get something."
"Hurry," he demands.
She walks out of the room, to the living room, and finds Barney, as planned.
"You sure you want to do this?" she asks him in a whisper.
"Yeah, Ted needs a real fucking," he jokes with a wink.
"Remember, no noises, no hands on him, and keep your clothing on, or he will know."
"Deal," he agrees, as he stalks back to the bedroom in Robin's place.
"Oh, thank god you're back!" Ted whines. "I need you. I need your cock."
Barney secretly straddles up behind him, slowly but surely pushing his cock in, listening to Ted yell every profanity in the book. Ted's ass is surprisingly lose, probably because Robin had warmed him up.
Ted thinks it feels amazing, yet it's odd. He's so used to Robin's dirty talk, that the room feels awfully quiet.
"God. Robin? No sexy talk? No talk about how you want me to watch you fuck another guy while I lick you?" The comment makes Barney thrust harder. He may not be able to tell Ted who he really is, but he can give him some feedback.
"Nothing about me having to suck that guy off?" He pounds hard into Ted at that one.
"Cause if that's what you want, Robin, I'll do it. Because you have made me feel things with my body I've never thought possible. And I want you to feel the same. If someone else's cock is going to do that, I will let you have that, cause by God if you could feel this cock..." Barney rolls his eyes. Leave it to Ted to talk at the worst moments. "You are going to have to let me put this one in the chin harness, because oh my fucking God. Oh I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about that guy fucking me. I'm imagining his real cock inside me while I lick your juices out of your pussy. I want him to gag me with his cock. I want to surrender. Oh god I want it. I want it. I WANT IT!"
Barney can feel Ted's ass tighten against him, as he shoots his load on the bed, and he keeps fucking, feeling the tightness around him, knowing the next time he does this, Ted's going to taste Robin on his cock, and it makes him lose it.
"Wow. Robin?" Ted asks, when he feels movement above him like an orgasm. "Are you coming from this? You really want this this bad? Because I want it too."
He quickly pulls out and walks to the door, trying to imitate Robin's footsteps.
"Robin? Where are you going?" Ted whines, worried, and still tied to the bed.
He walks straight into the kitchen and pours a water.
"Take this and go," he says, kissing her on the lips. "You went to get water."
She takes the glass from him, and hurriedly crosses the threshold of the bedroom.
"Sorry. I went to get water."
"Oh. Thank god," he sighs as she removes the blindfold. "Well, Robin, I was serious."
"About?"
"I want to watch you fuck another guy. I'll do it."
"What is the point of blindfolding me?" he questions. "I'm already tied to the chair."
"So that you do what you're told," she replies curtly.
The world is dark for a few seconds, before she starts stroking him with her hand. It's then that he feels it.
"Robin? What's on your hand?"
"What do you mean?" she shrugs, smiling evilly.
"Why do you have rings on that finger?" she can hear the scared tone in her voice, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She was finally getting to wear them again in front of someone who wasn't Barney.
"Because when I have sex with my husband, I like to have my wedding rings on."
"But..." Her only regret at the moment is that she can't see the fear in his eyes.
"Ted, little lesson for you," she starts, before she is interrupted by a man entering the room and starting a passionate make out session. It makes him squirm, hearing those noises, and he doesn't know if it's in anticipation or discomfort of the situation. Then there is a cock in his face and he willingly takes it into his mouth, and does exactly as Robin has trained him to.
"Maybe," she finally continues, "you should actually talk to people before pursuing what you think is your best friends ex-wife."
"Huuuu?" he mumbles around the cock, confused as all hell.
"Guess, it's time to take the blindfold off, huh Robin?" he hears the male voice reply, and it doesn't take him long to realize just who he is giving a blow job to.
"Indeed," she agrees, laughing.
Barney rips off the blindfold, and Ted stares up at him in horror.
"And you thought she was fair game," he snarks, giving Ted an evil look.
Barney and Robin start to furiously make out as Ted tries to pull away from Barney, but every attempt is met with resistance.
"Muyuuh, muyuuh!" Ted mumbles.
"Oh, I think little Teddy boy has something to say," Robin says to him cockily.
"You guys are still married?" he asks, still horrified.
"Yep," Barney confirms, reaching his hand down to Robin's pussy, eliciting a groan of approval.
"Married!?"
"Oh, I think someone has a fetish for married porn," Barney winks at Robin.
"I..." Ted tries to protest. He wants to scream that that's not it at all, but he can't make his mouth work.
"What, you don't want to clean her up now that it's my cum?" Barney asks, almost demeaningly.
"It's not any different than those times you cleaned up his cum before," he chuckles. "Actually, you've told me it's delicious."
"The day of the ring?" Ted asks, shocked.
"Of course," she purrs. "Come on Ted, we've been waiting for this for so long. All of us have."
"How long have you been building this up?" Ted questions, and for once, a lot of her behavior is starting to fall into place.
"Years," she replies simply. Yes, they didn't have the opportunity to put their plan in motion until a few months ago, but they had been discussing the idea in the years after Tracy's death.
"We knew it would happen eventually," Barney answers with more detail, because if one thing in this world was inevitable, it's that Ted would eventually come chasing his wife down.
"And you guys get off on this?"
"You certainly did yesterday," Barney teases.
"How do you know that?" Ted snaps, horrified. Was he here?
"You didn't think that was Robin did you?"
"You guys are sick..."
"Come on Ted, you liked it," Robin cajoles. You know you did. So you can stay tied to that chair, or you can join the two of us in our little fantasy."
"Maybe you want to give Ted a little taste of what he might be missing," Barney suggests.
She sticks her breasts in his face and he moans. The cage jumps, and he shifts, almost uncomfortably. She pulls back, and lifts her leg up to his shoulder, sticking her pussy right in his face, and it reminds him of the fantasies. It's all he has to think of, and as he strains against the chastity device, he knows that the orgasm he will have from this will be ridiculous. Even if it is Barney. The more he thinks about it, the more he remembers his crazy dreams in his 20s about Barney. The idea of feeling the way he moves, watching the way he works...
"Tell me what to do," Ted secedes.
"Want to take a bet on how many times I can make Scherbatsky orgasm?"
"One?" Ted replies.
"Three," Robin bets.
"I was going to say five by the time we are done. Ted, watch the master."
They work together to untie him, and the two make their way over to the bed as he can do nothing other than watch.
Robin climbs on the bed on all fours, and Barney lines up behind her, ready to push in, when she stops him.
"Wait! The key."
"That's right!"
Ted watches, gob smacked, as four of Barney's fingers disappear into Robin's pussy.
"I can't find it," Barney announces dramatically to Robin's laugh, as they put on a huge show for Ted. "I'm going to have to go deeper. Hold on."
Robin moans, and Ted can't believe his eyes. Barney's whole fist disappears into her. He pumps his hand a few times, and almost instantly Robin is screaming, and convulsing, and he pulls out the key.
"That's one!" he gloats proudly.
Ted continues to watch as Barney pushes his cock into Robin, and it's then that Ted realizes what he's been up against for the past few months. Barney may not have been much longer, but his girth more than made up for it.
"Ted, get over here," Robin demands. "You have a pussy to lick."
He does as he's told, finding and licking Robin's clit, and occasionally Barney's cock, all while balls hit him in the face.
"Oh fuck yes!" Robin screams.
"Robin, you going to come all over my cock so Ted can lick it off?" Barney asks lecherously.
"I am going to come all over your cock so Ted can suck off every last bit," she talks back.
"Ted, you have hands. Play with my wife's goddamn nipples."
He does exactly as he's told, and within seconds, is greeted with a face almost full of fluid. He had no idea that Robin could even do that.
Barney slides out of Robin, and she slides away, watching Ted devour her husband's cock. And it may have been the hottest thing she's ever seen.
"Oh yeah Ted. Lick that cock," Barney demands. "Taste her in all her glory. I bet you never made her come like that did you?"
He shakes his head.
"I didn't think so. Robin? Do you think he has it clean?"
"I think so, but you owe me some more orgasms."
"That I do. Let's show Ted how you ride me."
She climbs on him, and starts going at it, and Ted is certainly impressed.
"Come on Ted, her pussy is lonely."
"Yeah Ted, I want to squirt into your mouth this time." He climbs back over to them, his head going exactly where they requested.
"Oh fuck yeah!" she yells as his mouth makes contact and he starts to suck.
"Ted? You want to make this incredible for her? Stick some fingers in," Barney convinces.
He goes tentatively at first, inserting one. It's a weird feeling to have Barney's cock going in and out as he does so. He's never even done such a thing with his own cock. He never would have even thought about it.
"More, Ted," Barney insists.
He obliges, sticking another finger in.
"Ted, are you an imbecile?" Robin starts to berate. "Barney clearly said fingers. You watched his fist disappear earlier. You think I can't handle it?"
"How many?" he asks tentatively.
"Get all four in damn it." He does as he's told.
He watches her eyes roll back, as she fucks Barney with his hand there.
"OH GOD! IT FEELS SO GOOD!" she screams at the top of her lungs.
Next thing he know is his head is being pulled, and his mouth is getting filled.
"That's three," Barney brags. "God you are so hot, Robin. Maybe someday we can try that handjob in the pussy thing you always wanted."
"Yeah, or you and Ted fucking me at the same time."
"We'd have to make sure he earns it first," Barney answers, and they laugh.
"I'll earn it for you, Robin," Ted answers meekly. He'd do anything for her at this point.
"Awww, aren't you so sweet," she answers, patting him on the head. "Time to get you to come, Barney. We have some feeding to do. Ted, I want you to lick Barney's cock," Robin instructs. "Keep your mouth on the part that's outside of me."
"Yes ma'am."
"Lie down, Ted."
He lies down, face up, and she climbs on top, her front towards him. Barney crawls up behind her, first sticking his cock in Ted's mouth.
"Oh yeah Ted," he groans, enjoying Ted's mouth on him. "Lick MY WIFE'S juices off my cock before I plow inside of her for her fourth orgasm.
He does as told and Barney pulls out and is in Robin in seconds. They fuck hard and fast. So hard that Ted has difficulty keeping up.
"Oh Teddy boy," Robin starts to entice. "You want to fuck Barney someday? You better start warming him up."
He reaches up to Barney's asshole, and slowly swirls his finger around the entrance. He can hear the sounds of Barney moan against Robin's lips, however they are managing to kiss in the position they are in.
"Oh yeah, Ted" Barney moans. "That's it."
"Ted is going to be so ready for your cum," Robin coos to Barney. "I think he's going to want to fuck you."
"You know the rules on that one. Keep that up, Ted," he says louder. "You're so damn good at this. Add another finger and my cum will be all yours."
Ted's almost never wanted something so bad in his life. They managed to get him hooked.
"Oh yeah, Ted. Robin? Want to go with me?"
Ted takes his other hand and sticks two fingers in Robin's pussy.
"Oh god! I'm...UGGGGH!" Barney screams, and judging by Robin's moans, she's lost it with him.
He waits as both of them recover from what seems like incredibly strong orgasms. Stronger than any he's seen before.
"Okay, Barney," Robin whispers gently. "It's time."
Barney pulls away, and Ted opens his mouth, waiting, just waiting for the cum to enter his mouth. The first drop hits, and he can't get enough. He dives in with no second thought.
"I think Ted likes it," Barney chuckles.
"Of course he does."
Barney starts playing with Robin's nipples for something to do, knowing he'll help her get off shortly.
"Maybe I should lay down for a minute. After all, Ted is going to want to work you up right?"
"Oh yeah," Barney agrees. She climbs off, and her pussy is quickly replaced by Barney's cock. It's still limp enough that Ted can get the whole thing in his mouth. He sucks and sucks, trying to get every last bit of Robin off. He can feel Barney getting hard again, and it makes him look forward to the part where he finally gets to have his own release.
"Oooo, Barney, look at him go," Robin hollers. "He wants you hard so he can feel you in his ass again."
"I can't wait to watch him lick you."
"Maybe he can learn why things disappear into my pussy while he's doing it."
"Barney, fuck me. Please!" Ted finally begs, interrupting the banter between the couple.
"And now he's begging," Barney laughs. "Condom, Scherbatsky?"
Ted wiggles in anticipation as he hears Barney open the wrapper. Robin turns him on all fours, and positions herself underneath him.
"Keep cleaning me out," she demands.
He buries his head into Robin, just when Barney pushes in, and the rush he gets is overwhelming. He feels himself grown and grow, and just when he's about to give over to the pleasure, Barney pulls out and Robin pushes his head away.
"Whaaa?"
"We can't let you have your fun too soon, can we Robin?"
"Nope," Robin winks at Ted. "Trust me. It's frustrating, but it is so worth it."
They sit for an agonizingly long thirty seconds, before Barney pushes back in, and Robin shoves his head down. The cycle happens again, and he still groans in complaint. They follow the cycle more time than he can count, but then one time, he's being unlocked, set free, and that becomes overwhelming in and of itself. They wait extra-long that before starting again.
They next time they stop, not long after they start, Robin sits up, and climbs on down his body. He can't help but wonder what the rest of her plan is. He can see the two of them facing each other, making out like he's seen them do a million times before. Then Barney pushes in, and she sinks on to his cock, and it isn't long before they are off him again, because he can barely handle it.
"Condom off," Robin demands.
Ted watches as Barney rips the condom off, letting it fly, and pushes into Robin. He just lies there, stuck, about five thrusts away from orgasm, watching them fuck in one of the most intriguing positions he's ever seen. He doesn't touch himself, he just waits and watches. He can't help but think they are better than any of the porn on the earth. The way they move together, so in time, yet frantic, it wouldn't take much for him to get off.
Before he realizes it, they are moving backwards, towards him, and Robin, Barney and all, slides onto Ted's cock.
The sensitive part of him hits Barney, and electrifies him as they move on top of him. It doesn't take long for Robin to lose it, and then they are all gone, both of them spilling into Robin.
Barney and Robin collapse down, giggling and kissing and sweet talking, and he gets it. He never had that with her. He wonders if maybe they did the right thing, tricking him into this, because he never would have imagined Barney to be like that with her.
"Ummm... guys?" Ted clears his throat.
"Yeah, Ted?"
"I'm really sorry I ever doubted you two. Robin, I'm sorry I went after you again. I shouldn't have, and even though I enjoyed myself today, I don't want to come between you guys anymore. So I'm going to go." He swings his legs to the side of the bed, but a hand reaches out and stops him.
"Ted…" Barney says sorrowfully. "You don't have to go, you know. We all enjoyed today, didn't we?"
"Yeah," he replies.
"Then stay. We'd love to have you back in our lives. For good this time. I know this is a really weird way of going about it, but we've missed you."
"I've missed you too. I do have one question though. Ellie?"
"Ours through a surrogate."
"Wow, I've missed a lot."
"You sure have Ted."