Chapter 1: '…they send the deepest condolences' You Can't Play on Broken Strings
Let me hold you…
For the last time…
It's the last chance to feel again…
I have never been as alone as now. My name is Bella Swan and both my parents have died. I am thirteen years old and suddenly and I am all alone in the world. My parents were killed in a car crash by some hit-and-run driver. I can't help but blame myself. I was told a few days after their death that they been driving home after a meeting to see my literature teacher. Lately, my literature teacher had been pleased with the progress I had made in class and she wanted to discuss my 'remarkable' progress and ask for their opinion about the possibility of me being put on a fast-tracked literature scheme. I, being overly enthusiastic about it, encouraged them to go and see her. If they hadn't gone come to the school that day, they would never have died. It is my fault. They're all saying I did nothing and I couldn't have known- sure- but they don't know the truth, right? If you were in my situation, what would you do? I was in French at the time of their death working in the classroom entirely and utterly oblivious…
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything.
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Two officers walked into the classroom. They were dressed in black suits with a grey trench-coat on the top. They went to the teacher's desk and spoke to her for a minute. The teacher, Madame Litaize, went pale as their conversation continued and began to tremble. Her piercingly-blue eyes were scared and were suddenly staring straight at me. In some way, their conversation had some relevance to me and in an instant I knew it was not anything pleasant. Judging from the teacher's face, the situation could not have been anything pleasant. The situation seemed to be ground-breaking, horrible; I gulped at the dead expression in her eyes. I knew at that moment my life would never be the same again. My choice of words could be seen as melodramatic however right now the situation felt grave.
"Isabella?" asked the teacher. "These off-fficers would like to talk to you outside s'il te plait. Aller, aller, vite, vite! Come on ma fille."
Her voice trembled and I could tell she was trying to keep it from breaking. I shared a glance with an anxious and scared Alice who looked worried. 'What could they want?' I thought.
"Go Bella," she urged, "they're waiting." So, I came outside after a startled moment.
"You are Isabella Marie Swan?" the first officer asked.
"Yes." I replied.
"Daughter of Charlie Swan and Renee Swan?" the second continued.
"Yes."
"You are 13 years old?" he first one questioned.
"Yes." Whatever did they want?
"Bella, ma fille, these officers have something to say to you." said Madame Litaize in a soothing voice.
"We have come to tell you some grave news…"the second said anxious and polite- eyeing me like I were going to spontaneously snap at any moment- for some reason unbeknownst to me.
"Well what is it?" I asked quietly nearly murmuring to myself while refusing to take my eyes off the pattern I was staring at on the linoleum beneath us all.
"We are sorry to tell you this but sadly, earlier today your parents were killed in a car crash caused by a hit-and-run driver. Your parents were on their way home, as you probably know why, when this unfortunate crash happened and though they were taken to hospital, their injuries were so extensive and they had lost so much blood that nothing could be done to save them. Despite this, the best doctors on hand at the hospital tried to save them but their condition was so unstable that they were beyond the reach of them. All of the officers from the station obviously send their deepest condolences on the matter since we have all lost a friend and a Chief from your father's death." This was more than I had needed to hear.
I stood there in shock; I refused to believe that it was true. My parents were gone…they'd really gone. I wanted to cry, scream and shout but I couldn't find the energy in myself to do that. The world didn't turn upside down but there was a sudden bleakness and uncertainty about the future of my life. A dark void was growing to fill the space of my loving parents. It was as if a light had been instantly switched off leaving nothing but darkness.
"Bella, ma fille?" my teacher asked hesitant snapping me out of my reverie. "Do you need to sit down? Tu es malade, oui? "
"Non merci Madame. Je ne suis pas malade! Et alors…"I began in French and switched to English. "Officers, are you absolutely sure they have died?"
"Oh yes, I am sorry Isabella- it is positively affirmative." the second officer said.
"So about this hit-and-run driver, I presume he just drove off? Am I also right to believe that their deaths were purposeful? "
"At, this stage Miss Swan, I'm afraid to say that we have to keep all options open and the attack may well have been purposeful. Therefore it may be a possibility."
"The driver definitely drove off Isabella though I'm sure his car would have been damaged." the second officer said.
"Wow…" I said still stunned. What else was I supposed to say? "Then, what's going to happen to me?" My voice shook a little.
"Are you aware that your parent appointed guardians for you if anything should happen to them?" the second asked.
Guardians? I tried to remember… 'Oh my guardians!', I thought. Then it all came back to me.
"Yes," I replied. "I've just remembered. Didn't my parents appoint Mr and Mrs Cullen as my parents two years ago?"
"That's correct. They are waiting in the principal's office for you." the first officer said.
"We are sorry but we have take our leave now, Miss Swan. We would like to say again how deeply sorry we truly are."
"Thank You." was all I said in response to the officers' departure.
They're gone but I can't cry or weep at all. I know that it has to be my fault alone. No one can take the blame for their deaths but me. It was I who pushed them into receiving fate's vengeance.
When I love you.
It was so untrue
I can't even convince myself.
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else.
"Shall we go see the principal then Bella?" asked Madame breaking the silence nicely.
"If you don't mind Madame. I'm sorry to disrupt your class." Silence…
"Not at all, ma fille. C'est vraiment très grave but it is not your fault." she said as she knocked on the prinicpal's door which slightly wedged open.
"-this is unfortunate my dear I agree but we really have to talk to Bella." I heard Carlisle say quietly.
Esme was sobbing. "My poor darling Bella, so-o young…" Why did I feel so helpless?
"Come in." boomed Mr Green's voice. I edged round the door and came into the crowded office. Esme sobbed harder when she saw me.
"Ah Bella. Come in, come in. Thank you Madame Litaize. May I ask one more favour of you? Please can you bring little Alice Cullen to my office as well? I believe she's in your French class? Very well then kindly go fetch her. Thank you." And with that, Madame left the room.
"Sit down Bella please," he said gesturing at a large, cushiony chair kindly. "Please let me tell you how deeply sorry I am and if you ever need help you are welcome to see me at any time."
"Thanks." I mumbled staring at red carpet on the floor as I sat.
"Now you heard what the officers told you? As you can see the whole of the Cullen family is here and as you are aware, Dr. and Mrs Cullen are now your guardians until you turn into an adult."
"Yes." I said simply. For the first time I looked up at my new guardians. "Thanks for coming Esme and Carlisle, I am so sorry for the trouble your coming must have caused you. I'll try not to be a burden to you."
Oh it tears me up…
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
To make it all okay….
Esme and Carlisle nodded gravely. Emmett was eyeing me cautiously as if he thought too that I should be crying insanely.
"Hey Em…" I muttered quietly. He nodded and there was a knock on the door as Alice entered with tears running down her face.
"Ah Alice, please come in. You've heard?" the principal asked and she nodded whilst coming to sit next to me cautiously. "Now that everyone is here I think you need time to discuss things together so I recommend you take Bella and Alice home now, Dr. Cullen." he nodded.
"They have the rest of the week off too." Mr Green added as an afterthought.
Alice and I went to our lockers and got the rest of our things and then we joined the rest of the Cullen family waiting outside the school. We all walked silently towards Carlisle's Mercedes and drove to the Cullen residence on the outside of Forks.
You can't play on broken strings.
You can't feel anything.
That your heart don't want to feel.
I can't tell you something that ain't real.
Oh the truth hurts and lies worse.
How can I give anymore?
When I love you a little less than before…
Oh what are we doing?
We are turning into dust.
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