Ste's POV
I run, as fast as I can.
I can't believe I have let him do this to me again. I know that I have blood streaming down my face and people are staring. But I don't stop, I can't. I think back to how I got into this mess again.
"Listen to me", he say's eyes bulging.
"I'm done listening to you Brendan, you are a liar and I want nothing to do with you". I say as I walk towards the office door. He grabs my arm tightly and turns me back towards him again. I can feel the heat of he breath on my face. He is so close to me that I can't help but want to kiss him. He is beautiful and terrifying. But his lies turn me off. I remember how he promised this time would be different, that we would be a proper couple. LIES.
"Ye just have to let me figure this out Stephan, Declan can't know about us." He whisper's as he looks at me intently and I feel my resolve crumble a little. But I will not go through this again. After everything, I am stronger than this and I begin to struggle at his grip. So he grips me tighter.
"Let me go Brendan" I say, I am done being his secret and I just want to get out of that office and start my new life, without Brendan Brady.
"Why are ye being so difficult, Stephen, I just need more time. We need to figure out what we are going to do while Declan is here" He say's pleading with me. I can tell that he is being sincere, but I just don't care anymore. I can't give him anymore time. I need to get out of this office before I cave. I only know one way to get him off me.
"Brendan, you disgust me, do you know that." I say words that I know will hurt, I just want him to feel some of the pain he has put me through.
"I don't ever want to be near you again", LIE.
"It makes me sick how you follow me around like some love sick puppy," LIE. I love that he wants me so badly but it is sick. We are in this sick pattern and I physically and mentally can't do it anymore.
"Why would I want to ever be with a self-loathing, mentally deranged fairy?" That was the clincher. His eyes widen and it is then that I know I have said too much. He lets go of my arm and watches me for a few seconds. I see what I think is sadness in his eyes, but then I see the anger. No not anger, Rage. Before I can move, he punches me in the face. And as I go down to the floor, I know that this beating is going to be unlike any other beating I have had before. I brace myself for what is coming. He is kicking me over and over and I feel the pain in my ribs. He is going to break some of them today. I hear him scream, "I'm ain't no fucking fairy." He leans over me and punches me in the face again and again. I use my hands to block his punches but I feel my finger snap and remove my hands from my face. He keeps punching, until he finally just stops. I have no idea why; I thought that he might possibly kill me. I didn't realize I was sobbing but I could feel myself searching for air. I didn't move, I just cried and then I hear him say, "This isn't what it looks like." What does he mean by that? I look up to see Declan staring at the two of us, wide-eyed and scared. I take this opportunity to hobble past them both and RUN.
I run as fast as I can back to the council estates, when I am inside behind locked doors, I begin to unravel. I have to get away from Brendan. Now more then ever, I know that he is crazy and if Declan hadn't of walked in, he might have killed me. I search for an answer. Avoid him, that will never work, he will never let me go. Go to the police, I can't, I can't sit there on trial with him staring back at me, NO. Leave, pack my bags and never look back. I opt for leaving. I grab my luggage and throw clothes in it. I don't have time to sort anything out. He could be coming here right now and I do not want to be here when he does. In my frenzy of grabbing clothes, I realize that I must look a state right now, so I change my clothes and wash my face. I am aware that I have a broken finger and possibly some broken ribs but I bite through the pain because I can't be here when Brendan comes looking for me and he always comes looking for me. I look around my house one last time. I see the kid toys and feel and ache in my chest. I don't know if I can leave them but for their safety I have to. I now know Brendan will never stop hurting me and that he is capable of anything to keep his secret. My kids will miss me but they can't know where I am. It is safer that way. I write Amy a letter and place it on the table. I take some aspirin and head for the train station.