"Be Prepared" is such a great villain song for Azula. I know this should probably go in Cartoon X-overs, but it'll get more hits in the main A:TLA category. Words of the song, of course, will be paraphrased
The canon characters (especially Mai) will be a bit OOC, and the story won't exactly fit canon, for the sake of the song/scenario.
Be Prepared situarion and lyrics: (c) Disney. Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and the Dai Li: (c) Nickelodeon/Bryke.
"Man, that lousy Avatar and his friends! I won't be able to sit down for a week." The voice of a complaining Dai Li agent echoed through the elite Earthbenders' vast underground headquarters. He rubbed the small of his back, where a rock had slammed into it and made every movement of his spine painful. Ty Lee gave a small giggle from her nearby perch. "It's not funny, Ty Lee," snapped the agent.
She only laughed harder. The Dai Li agent growled and sent a wave through the ground, which Ty Lee deftly launched from with a triple backflip. The two got into a scrap, with the agent throwing rocks and ripples of Earthbending and Ty Lee dancing around or off each one. Mai had been sitting on a balcony, watching the whole thing. "Will you knock it off?" she spat.
The agent darted away from Ty Lee, leaving her to fall over on her face, and protested, "Well, she started it!"
Mai shook her head. "Look at you guys! No wonder the Avatar stomped on us."
"I hate stomping," said the Earthbender. He punctuated his statement with his foot.
Mai ignored him and continued, "You know, if it wasn't for the Fire Nation royal family, we'd be running the world."
The Dai Li agent groused, "Man, I hate the royal family!"
"Pushy," agreed Mai.
"And arrogant."
"And angry."
"And man, are they UG-LY!" finished the agent. Mai joined him in over-enunciating the last word, but their laughter was interrupted.
"Surely we royals are not all that bad," purred an icy, female voice. The two girls and the Dai Li agent looked up, through a haze of blue-tinged steam, to see Azula lounging on a balcony. She wore her usual cold smile.
Her minions visibly relaxed. "Oh, Princess Azula, it's just you," the agent sighed.
"Yeah, we were afraid it was somebody important!" added Mai. "You know, like Zuko."
"I see," Azula drawled.
The agent said to the girls, "Now that's power. Or, it was."
Mai replied, "Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder."
"Zukooo," smirked the Earthbender.
Mai faked a shiver and said, "Do it again."
"Zukooo. ZUKO-ZUKO-ZUKOOO!" laughed the Dai Li agent.
Watching her minions collapse into hysterics, Azula facepalmed. "I'm surrounded by idiots," she groaned.
The agent collected himself and offered, "Not you, Azula! I mean, you're one of us, you're our pal!"
"Charmed," she replied, deadpan.
"I like that," said Mai. "She's not Fire Lord, but still so proper."
The Earthbender straightened himself (wincing) and asked, "Do you have any money for us, my-lady-my-princess-my-leader?" The others stood up and begged like baby owl-cats.
"I don't think you deserve this," said Azula. She threw a kuai ball-sized bag of coins at their feet and continued, "I practically gift-wrapped those children for you, and you couldn't even take them out." The minions tore open the bag and dug through it.
"Well," said Mai, "it wasn't like they were alone, Azula."
"Yeah!" added the Dai Li agent. "What are we supposed to do? Kill Zuko?"
Azula leaned forward. "Precisely." Suddenly, she leapt from her balcony and wall-jumped off the columns in the underground hall, Firebending with every movement. She landed on the ground and stalked through a field of blue flames. Circling around an aimlessly cartwheeling Ty Lee, she began:
"I know your heads on the outside
Are as hard as the rocks that you bend,
But thick as you are, listen up right;
We're dealing with some old family friends."
Azula yanked Ty Lee to her feet, and the other girl quickly saluted.
"It's clear from your vacant expressions
That the lights aren't all on upstairs,
But we're talking kings and successions.
Even you can't be caught unawares!"
To make her point, she waved a hand in front of a Dai Li's face. His eyes remained shadowed by his helmet. Next, Azula jumped to a catwalk and strutted along, smoothing her hair back.
"So be prepared for the chance of a lifetime!
Be prepared for sensational news!
A blazing new era
Is tiptoeing nearer-"
"What's in for the rest?" Mai interrupted.
Azula coolly replied, "Just listen to princess." As if Mai had never opened her mouth, she continued,
"I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
And in justice deliciously squared,
Be prepared!" Azula bent a blue arc of fire at the three, who recoiled and fell into a pile of stones.
All three poked their heads out of the rocks. "Yeah, be prepared! Prepared for what?" asked the Dai Li agent who'd been talking with Mai and Ty Lee.
"For the death of the prince!" Azula cried.
"Why, is he sick?" the agent cluelessly replied.
Azula smoothly answered, "No, fool, we're going to kill him! Aang too."
"Yeah!" cried the agent. "Who needs the prince?" The others began to agree, but were quickly silenced.
"IDIOTS!" Azula snarled. "There will be a Fire Lord!"
The young Dai Li agent said, "But if there's no prince, how can there be a-"
She cut him off. "I will be Fire Lord! Stick with me, and you'll have CONTROL OF THE EARTH KINGDOM!"
"All right!" cheered Mai, Ty Lee, and the agent. "Hail Fire Lord Azula!"
The entire ranks of Dai Li too, up the cry. "HAIL FIRE LORD AZULA! HAIL FIRE LORD AZULA!"
Azula herself stood on a podium overlooking a hall. Hundreds of Dai Li agents marched below her in perfect formation.
"The nation will soon be perfected,
Our queen will be honored, adored!"
"Of course, my elite, you're expected
To take certain duties on board," said Azula. She spoke no louder that if she was talking face-to-face, but the words were addressing her army. At the last sentence, she drew two fingers across her throat.
"The future is littered with prizes,
As it is plain to see,
but the point that I must emphasize is:
YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!" Azula spread flames all across the floor and jumped onto a rising column of rock, lifted by a handful of Dai Li. She crowed:
"Be prepared for the duel of the age!
Be prepared for the murkiest scam!
Meticulous planning, tenacity spanning
Decades to deny
Is simply why I
Will rule undisputed, respected, saluted,
Hailed as the prodigy I am!
My power and ambitions are bared,
BE PREPARED!" Her ranks took up the last line:
"Our power and ambitions are bared,
BE PREPARED!"
The cries of, "HAIL, FIRE LORD AZULA!" were enough to send ripples through the water of Lake Laogai above.
So that was my first song parody. Hopefully, visualizing all this wasn't too weird for you. xD Also, this was my first time working with canon characters, even if I did make them OOC on purpose. Sorry for not giving a name to the Dai Li agent who was with Mai and Ty Lee. Please review! ^^
(No. I am not making a Zutara parody of Can You Feel The Love Tonight.)