Title: Just Wondering
Author: Maggienhawk
Disclaimer: If it were mine, we would have Castle all day, all the time.
Summary: Based on a throwaway line by Castle in 4x08 "Heartbreak Hotel." Kate asks Rick if he's ever going to propose. Established relationship.
A/N: A line that caught my attention in the last episode was "It's almost as though the thought of marriage fills him with an impending sense of doom… Oh no, wait! That's me." I was intrigued by the idea of Rick still having that sense of doom after having been with Kate for a while.
"Are you ever going to ask me to marry you?'
Rick snapped his head towards Kate, who was currently lying with her back to the arm of the couch, her legs resting across his lap. "What?"
She smiled. "Are you ever going to ask me to marry you?"
She could see the slight fear in his eyes, and watched as his Adam's apple moved up and down with his exaggerated gulp.
"Um…why?"
"Well, we have been together for over two years now, not to mention all the time before that." She sat up, removing her legs from his lap and scooting closer to him, resting her elbows on her knees. "And I was just wondering." She turned her head to look at him, uncharacteristically shy.
Rick sighed, running his hand through his hair. He moved to copy her posture, except that with his left hand, he reached over to hold her right hand. "Aren't you happy with the way things are?"
She couldn't help but smile. "Of course I am, Rick. I've never been happier. It's just that I figured by this point, we would have made it official."
He cocked his head. "You don't think it's official until we're married?
Her smile began to falter, and she started to regret even bringing this topic up. "Okay, maybe official wasn't the word I wanted to use. How about legal? And why are you fighting this so much? Don't you want to marry me?"
He immediately stood up and began to pace around the living room. "I…I don't know."
Her eyes widened with shock, but he quickly realized his faux pas and stopped pacing. "I didn't mean that the way you're thinking. I love you, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. Why do we have to put a label on that?"
She narrowed her eyes and began slowly, "You want to spend the rest of your life with me, but you don't want to be married?"
He shook his head.
"Does this have something to do with the fact that you've been married twice and because both of them failed so miserably, you don't want to go through that again?"
He guiltily turned his head away from her, trying to push back the memories she stirred up.
Running her hand through her hair, she sighed. "I'm sorry, that was harsh. Will you please come sit down, so we can talk about this?" She patted the seat beside her.
He slowly moved back towards the couch, sitting just slightly further away that where he was before. "Look, I'm not proud of my failed marriages. With both of them, I jumped in too fast, and none of us were ready for what marriage entailed. I'm not exactly sure I know now what it entails."
She turned her body towards him, bringing her right leg up to rest on the couch. "But Rick, were not 'jumping in' too fast. We've been as this for a while now. And as for what marriage entails, aren't we doing a lot of that now? We live together, we work together, and we spend almost every waking minute with each other. The only thing that would change would be that there would be a piece of paper telling everyone we are together."
"That's my point. Why do we need the piece of paper? We're making this work without it just fine."
"Look, I'm not asking you to propose here and now. I was just wondering if it was ever going to be something I needed to consider."
He was quiet for a few seconds before he turned his head to look at her. "Do you want to get married?"
"Like I said before, I'm happy. You make me happy. And while it would be nice to say I'm Mrs. Richard Castle," she shook her head at the smirk that formed on his face, "if it meant that in order to keep you happy that I remain Det. Kate Beckett, then so be it."
He reached up and caressed her cheek, before gently tugging her closer to place a soft kiss on her lips. He rested his forehead on hers. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Her trademark smirk found its place on her face. "You know, though, it would be nice if I happened to get a nice, big, sparkly diamond ring this Christmas," she added innocently. "It doesn't have to represent anything other than your ability to spoil me."
A big smile found its way to his face, and he laughed out loud. "I think I may be able to manage that." And with that he pulled her towards him as he pushed them down on the couch, both laughing together as they cuddled deep into the cushions on the couch.