Title: Stuffed Rabbits. or, Spilling it all
By: Ragni Mithrim
Summary: The third in my 'She's just a kid...' series. This time around, Rachel gets pissed at logan, and spills her guts to Scott. Will the two summers finally make up or blow up? Read to find out.
Rated: T+ for language
Warnings: Language mostly. Dropped de 'F-bomb' a few times ^^'
Disclaimer: (c)Marvel and Stan Lee. I'm just playing with them a bit.
Pairing: LoganxRachel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh go fuck yourself Logan!" Rachel yelled, pulling out of Logan's grasp. He reached for her again, but she kept avoiding him. "I swear to god! Why the hell do you keep doing this?! Just go away!"
In a moment of pure anger Rachel reached out and slapped Logan across his face, hard. He stood there and took it, his own eyes flashing, on the boarder between feral and human. A low growl came from his chest and Rachel rolled her eyes. "Please. That doesn't work on my buddy. Why don't you just go eat a mouse or whatever the hell it is you do out in those woods and leave me alone!"
"Watch yer mouth girlie!" he growled, trying to keep himself from jumping on her and forcing her to show submissiveness. Rachel should know better than to push him, really she should. And she rarely if ever did, so why was she now? the logical side of his brain made him stop and sniff her. She smelled...off.
"Rach?" he reached for her again and she slugged him, hitting him square in the nose, breaking it.
"Leave me alone you old pervert!"
Logan stood shocked, his nose healing itself as Rachel stalked off. Growling in annoyance he turned to the crowd that had gathered by the door that lead from the kitchen to the dinning room.
"What the hell are ya lookin' at?" he bit out, glaring at every single one of them. "Ain't never seen a fight before?"
"Never between you and Rachel," Scott answered truthfully, motioning behind his back for ever one to go away and mind their own business. "What the hell happened?"
Sighing Logan didn't know weather to kiss Scott or gut him. "Rach hasn't been sleepin' too good. Think she keeps goin' back to places she don't want to in her head. She won't talk about it either. She's pissed about what happened. Ain't never felt safe enough ta let it go before now. Dont' worry Slim, I won't let her hurt herself."
Scott raised an eyebrow and titled his head, "What about you?"
"Whaddya mean?"
"You're really going to let her hit you and just walk away?"
"Well if ya stop gabbin' at me I'm gonna go talk ta her." Logan sounded exasperated, like he just spent an hour trying to talk Jubes out of some hair-brained scheme she had. Scott nodded and moved out of the way.
Logan stalked past Scott and sniffed around to try and find Rachel.
Up in Remy's room he found her, the door slightly ajar. He could see Rachel sitting on Remy's bed, hugging what looked like a stuffed rabbit, but it was difficult to tell from this angle. Remy was out of Logan's sight, but he could hear the calming voice from somewhere in there.
"Ah, petite, y' should have told m' dat y' weren' sleepin' bien."
"It's nothing Rems. Just the usual shit. I don't know why it's getting to me! I mean, I hit Logan..twice! I think I even broke his nose...I am a monster."
"NON!" Logan jumped at the barked protest. A blur of auburn and tan passed through his view, and then settled next to Rachel. "Chere, s'il tu plais. Listen t' m'. Y' ain' un monstre. Believe m', met enough o' 'em. Petite.."
"But Rem-"
"Non, no buts." he stated firmly, dropping his accent from a thick bayou to a light drawl. "An' don't you even think about leavin' again. I'll tie you to the bed if I have ta. Don't think I won't."
"Logan'll get pissed. Hell if I think if he saw this now, he'd get pissed."
"Y' so sure 'bout dat petite? Y' really ain' payin' dat good o' 'tention have y'?"
Looking up from the rabbit, Rachel met Logan's eyes. After a moment the door swung open as her eyes dropped.
"I'm so sorry Logan.." she whispered, clutching the stuffed creature closer to her. Logan nodded and sat down next to her, on the side opposite Remy.
"S'all right Rach." he assured, brushing his calloused hand over her hair. "Ya can't hurt me. Damn near indestructible."
"Well, cher, wouldn' say dat. O'le Gambit could probably-"
"Touch him while you're glowing and die Gumbo." Rachel snapped, pulling away to stare him in the eye.
"Ah, petite, y' wound m'. Wouldn' evah dare t' do dat. Like Logan t' much m'." He smiled as he placed a quick kiss on Logan's cheek before he launched himself behind Rachel. Logan just stared, wondering about that.
"Ah, mais Remy, cher, y' like Scotty bettah non?" she asked, trying to mimic Remy. The man winced at the bad accent and nodded in response to the question.
"Oui chere. Mais de homme's got a stick t' damn far up dat ass o' his."
Logan just kind of tilted his head, trying to puzzle this out. The Cajun had a thing for One-Eye and Rachel was all for it. Okay..?
Noticing Logan's expression Rachel smiled and shook her head. "You know you kind of look like a puppy when ya do that right?" she asked teasingly.
Growling and narrowing his eyes, Logan grinned. "Puppy eh? Dont' think a puppy would-"
"Rachel? My office please..Now." The wall com ordered in Scott's voice, effectively cutting Logan off. Rolling her eyes she gave the offending com the bird before using her TK to reply, "Your wish is my command, Oh Fearless One! Just snap your fingers and I shall come." She rolled her eyes, and her voice dripped with sarcasm.
Remy snorted and Logan tried not to laugh. Shaking her head, she gave Remy a sisterly peck on the cheek and Logan a gentle brush of lips. "If you don't hear anything from me, or Scott in an hour, assume we've injured/maimed and/or killed one another and come in. Guns blazing preferably, with Blue none too far behind." she requested, wiggling her fingers as she left.
Logan rolled his eyes and got up.
"Where y' goin' cher?"
"Security Room."
"Y' don' trust Scotty?"
"No, I trust One-eye..mostly. Ta keep an eye on my back when we fight? yeah. Ta not lose his temper around that girl? Hell no. 'Sides, it's as funny as hell watching Ray goad him. Ya could take a lesson Gumbo."
"Lesson? Mon dieu, y' wound me greater Wolvie! Who de hell do y' t'ink taught her how t' do dat?..Moi." He stood up, taking the rabbit-and it's terrifyingly cute face- with him as he walked out. "Mais, need t' see how pissed Cyke gets, so I can make sure t' get him t' let it go later. Jus' gotta know how far t' push 'fore he'd actually hurt m'."
Logan shook his head and followed, "Yer a masochist, ya know that?"
"Oui cher. C'mon! Don' wanna miss de show!"
#
As Logan and Remy made their way to the security room, after stopping off in the kitchen to fetch pop corn (that was Remy's idea, saying, "T'ain' a proper show wit'out de popcorn!") Rachel made her way to Scott's office, taking her sweet time, knowing that her lack of promptness would piss him off and get him to speak freely.
Knocking on the door she waited for the "Come in" before she entered. As much as she liked messing with him, she'd never invade Scott's privacy..well without a very damn good reason, those up there being: Suicidal, homicidal-with special consideration to the person-, and comatose. Since he was none of the above, she'd wait.
The short, clipped "Enter" was just she was hoping to hear. He was pissed, perfect. Entering she looked around and decided that the sofa, on which she was sure Scott slept some nights, seemed would serve her best. Sitting down she rested her head on her right hand.
"You need something Scooter?"
From behind Scott's glasses he rolled his eyes and nodded, "Dont' call me Scooter."
"Whatever Boyscout."
"Rachel, please." she rolled her green eyes, and Scott recognized that rebellious streak as his own..well the one that he had buried so deep no one would ever see it. "Look, I asked you to come here because you still haven't made good on our deal."
She sighed and nodded, "Fine. You wanna ask a question, go ahead. I'll answer it, maybe." There was a pregnant pause as Scott considered the question, and Ray sighed snipping, "Just ask about my god damned time and get it over with!"
Scott raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "That's not my question."
Well that shook Rachel's indifferent mask. "Then what is?" she asked after taking a moment to recover.
"Why him?"
"Why him who?"
"Logan. Why did you chose him?"
Rachel paused a moment before shrugging. "I really can't say. He was there when I needed him, he cared, he understood. I never saw pity from him, never got anything but the truth. Somehow I feel for him, so hard. And he does feel the same..I know that for a fact." she smiled a little, sending a small, telepathic 'love you' to Logan.
As she got it back her smile widened, and she focused back on Scott. "That answer your question? And boy was it the wrong one. I would have told you everything about anything. Pity." she shrugged, lounging more comfortably on Scott's sofa.
They sat for a long time, silent. Til Rachel shifted to sit up further on the sofa and asked, "What was it like? My coming here I mean."
Scott looked at her carefully, thinking everything through before he said anything.
"Well, when you first got here, I thought you were Jean. I'm sorry, but it's true. Then after I found out you were our child...I just wanted to take care of you. Like I never got to do with Cable or Nate. Like I can't do with you. I understand that you grew up too soon, and that you had to rely on yourself most of the time. I did too. I guess I just got so..so.."
"Neurotically overprotective?" Ray offered with a small smile.
"Yeah, that..I guess I got that way because I promised myself that when I married Jean I would never let our child, or children, go through what I did. And look how well that turned out. My first son is old enough to be my father, and he hates me. Nate..hell I dont' think I'm even the boy's father. and you...I don't even know what you went through, but I know I let you down without even trying."
Rachel sighed and walked over to Scott's desk. "You've never let me down. I've just been a bitch. I want to tell you so badly, but...I so afraid you'll hate me. Logan swears up and down that no matter what you'll never get rid of me, but you said the same thing about Remy, and he's your pet thief." she paused for a breath and Scott flushed a little.
"who told you Remy was mypet thief?"
"He did. And he's told me a lot of other things I can't say..." Scott raised an eyebrow, but Rachel shrugged.
"Look, Scott..If I'm going to tell you, you have to stay quiet until I'm done. No breaking in, no questions during my little story, nothing. Got it?" She informed quietly, sitting down in the visitor's chair.
She knew she could say anything and no one would be the wiser. After all, Scott's office was sound proofed.
He nodded and gave her his undivided attention.
Taking a deep breath Rachel closed her eyes.
"You know about Kate coming here and saving Senator Kelly right? Well, that didn't happen in my time. He was killed, assassinated and it was blamed on a mutant. That election some rabid anti-mutant son of a bitch got into office.
"That started Nimrod and the Sentinel project. But, of course, the damn things got too powerful to control and took over. All humans were sent to live in nice ghettos while the carriers of the X-gene were sterilized so as not to pass it on. Mutants were either killed on sight or thrown into what they called a ghetto, but it was more of a concentration camp.
"But that's a little ahead of where I need to start. It was my eleventh birthday and everyone was there. The bills that were passed really sucked, but no one at the school thought much of them. I was too young to care..so stupid, so naive." she snorted, hearing Scott shift in his seat.
"Well, after a bit of fun, the usual X-Men luck kicked in and here came a whole hell of a lot of soldiers and sentinels. Mom..Mom told me to stay with Hank and the other kids, while..while.." she paused, taking a deep breath.
"It was a slaughter. You, Mom, Kurt, Storm, so many, so many. Kate, Piotr and Magneto ended up in a camp. Logan last I heard was with the Canadian resistance. I wasn't so lucky.
"After they killed Hank and all the kids in front of me..I-I killed them. With his dying breath he told me to find Xavier and to stay safe..I didn't want to leave him, but..I had to. So I got up and brushed away the tears. Dad never wanted me to cry while there was still a fight. Afterwards, when you collect your dead and wounded, then you can cry.
"I wandered off, killing whoever threatened me til I found the professor. They were beating him, they had knocked him out of his chair. They had a god damned collar on him!" she cried, two tears slipping out from under her closed lids. Scott wanted nothing more than to tell her she could stop, that he didn't need to know...but he did, now that he heard this much.
"I killed them all with a thought, and he begged me to just end it for him. He was so weak, he was going to die painfully otherwise. When you think about it, it's easy really. Just grab hold of the brain stem and 'pop' it's over. Doing it is the hard part. The man was my teacher, my mentor, my grandfather.
"After that..they found me, drugged me, took me back. There were so many damn needles and pills and...pain." her voice cracked as she bit back a sob. Gripping her left arm she winced as the feel of needles sliding under her skin returned. Opening her eyes to look at Scott, she tried to assure herself she wasnt' back there.
"They made me into a hound, made me hunt down mutants for either experiments or had me kill them. So many children, barely as old as I was. By the time I was sixteen, they promised that if I tracked just one more time for them I could go be with the rest of my kind.
"I didn't think anything of it...I was so numb inside...then I saw him, with the rest of his fighters....Uncle Alex and I faced off. I didn't want to, but it just hurt so bad to not listen to them...I held his lungs til he was blue. I just kept asking him to forgive me." she broke off, sobbing quietly.
Scott remained seated, shocked to the very core. Was Rachel truly blaming herself for this? Anyone would have done the same in that situation. He wanted nothing more than to say something, but he remembered what she said and remained quiet, despite what his mind and his heart were saying.
After a few minutes she calmed some, and continued, "They threw me in, the gates slamming shut behind me. Everyone saw the marks and fled. Kate found me at some point in time and took me to see Piotr and Uncle Erik. They took care of me. Piotr looked so horrible, but every single time he looked at Kate, there was nothing but light in his eyes. They were perfect for each other. Erik, god I don't know how old he was by then, but it was wearing him down, a second Holocaust. I don't know how he survived as long as he did.
"Years passed and we waited, for the perfect time to strike. I was about twenty by then I think, and we tried to change the past. That's when Kate came here. While she was out, Piotr, Erik and the others kept watch, and I took care of her. The sentinels found us of course and as I ran with her, everyone yelled for me to keep running and not look back.
"They all died that day. All of them, except for me and Kate. When she came back, I had to tell her that her husband and her family died, that I had failed her. She swore that there was nothing I could have done, but after that she changed. She was a woman on a mission. We snuck in to destroy nimrod. But we got trapped and the damned room blocked her powers.
"I dont' know how she did it, but somehow she had hypnotized me and when she said 'Dark Phoenix' I was sent back here. There was no way she could have lived.
"And I'm so bloody and filthy I don't know how any of you can stand to be around me.." she finished in a whisper, hunching over, holding her stomach.
After a moment, Scott broke his silence and walked over to Rachel. She flinched when he set a hand on her shoulder.
Kneeling down he made her look at him.
"Rachel..I-...You won't believe me, but this wasn't your fault. No one here would ever think that."
Nodding silently she fell into Scott's waiting arms and sobbed painfully. Not the kind of sobs that made one feel better, but the kind that felt like they'd kill you if you didn't let them out, but at the same time felt like they'd kill you that way too.
Riding out the storm, Scott held her tight, gently, slowly bringing her to the floor, holding her tightly, cooing soothing nonsense into her ear.
As she calmed down and hiccuped, Scott loosened his grip and let her pull back. Reaching up to his desk he grabbed the box of tissues and offer it to her. taking a few she blew her nose nosily and Scott grinned.
"Better now?"
"Kind of. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before this.."
"'S'all right Rachel. I kept jumping down your throat. I should have just backed off."
She nodded and cuddled closer, feeling that ache in her chest growing despite the confession. She missed Scott holding her close, like when she was a child. If felt nice when Logan held her, but this was different. Logan was her boyfriend, the person she gave her heart to. But Scott-no matter what time stream she was in- was her father and he was there first.
They sat there, silently for quiet some time, til Scott looked down and asked, "So what exactly did Remy tell you?"
Rachel laughed and shook her head, ginning. "Let's see...What did he tell me? The code to your safe, the school's bank accounts, your bank accounts, Logan's bank account... Warren's credit card number and pin, his accounts, his safe...which way Sinny hangs..." she made a gagging noise, and shuddered. "Which prompted a discussion of howhe knew. And that led to discussing you, and then you and your damned training sessions interrupted us. You know you're obsessed right?"
Scott shook his head and grinned. "And yet you never complain."
"that's just because Remy's louder than I am."
Scott laughed and hugged Rachel. "We good now?"
"Yeah, I think we are Scott."