AN: Because I had to.
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It's another day of solving crime at the precinct, and Nick and Hank are hard at it at their desks. They caught a homicide yesterday morning, and Nick's spent most of the afternoon researching the victim's business online, while Hank thumbs through some witness statements.
There's a loud commotion out in the hallway. It sounds like vaguely like a scuffle. Nick flick's his eyes distractedly in that direction when he registers another noise. There's some peculiar voices and Hank and some of the other officers look up from what they're doing with a frown.
"What the hell?" Hank mutters beside him. Nick shrugs, also looking up.
There's something familiar about the voices…
A young man appears suddenly into view of the doorway, stumbling, as though shoved aside. He's dark headed, slender, above average height, but probably not much beyond five-nine, or five-ten. He's an adolescent and he looks to be no older than sixteen. A young woman also appears a second later, smirking at the boy. She's tall, blonde, with long wavy hair pulled into a pony-tail and a slender frame and blue eyes. She appears to be in her early twenties, though in reality she's only about a year older than the boy. She's inherited some of her father's height, but otherwise she's the spitting image of her mother.
"Cadet Kelly. Diana," Wu drawls as he passes by them, turning his head and raising his eyebrows at Nick.
"Hey, Detective Wu," Diana replies brightly, deflecting a retaliatory push from Kelly.
"Hello," his son replies distractedly as both his children lay eyes on Nick.
"Hi dad," Diana says to him, refocusing her high-wattage grin at him. She's a beautiful young woman, one that Nick's helped raise over the last fifteen years. Though she's not his biological child, they're quite close, and she's referred to Nick as her father for years now, much to the annoyance of her actual father.
Who happens to be the chief of police for the city of Portland.
"Dad!" Kelly says, trying to maneuver around his sister, who's blocking every attempt admirably without much effort, as they both beat feet over to his desk. "Dad! Listen, I need—"
"Can I borrow the car?" Diana asks Nick, cutting off her brother.
"No, Di! Dad, listen, I really need to have the car tonight," Kelly says, finally pushing past his sister rudely. Nick leans back in his chair, suppressing both a sigh and an eye roll.
"This couldn't wait until I got home?" Nick says.
"No," Diana and Kelly both answer.
"What do you need to the car for?"
His question is directed at his daughter, but it's Kelly who answers for her.
"Nothing. She's just trying to be a jerk."
"That's not true," Diana replies indignantly. "Claud and I want to see a movie."
"What movie?" Nick and Kelly asks simultaneously, though Nick's question is merely one of polite curiosity while Kelly's is suspicious.
"Beauty and the Beast."
"You've seen it already! Like five times!" Kelly shoots back.
"So?"
"Really?" Nick asks in surprise.
"I heard it was really good," Hank says, and Nick looks at him for a moment. Hank shrugs self-consciously. "The review was in the paper."
"Uh-huh," Nick says.
"It's a beautiful love story," Diana agrees.
"It's crap and you know it," Kelly retorts.
"No, it's not, look at mom and dad. Do you think their story is crap? It's just like that, only with more singing and dancing," she says after a moment of reflection. Hank snorts.
"Not quite how I'd describe it," Nick says.
"It gives me hope for my own future," she says dramatically. Kelly scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"Oh, please. You're just trying to irritate me by taking the car."
"Uh-huh," she agrees. "Is it working?"
"What do you need the car for?" Nick cuts in, turning his attention to his son as he pinches the bridge of his nose wearily.
"I got a thing," Kelly replies vaguely and Nick looks up at him.
"A thing?"
"Yeah, dad, he's got a thing," Diana agrees, smirking.
"Shut up, Di!"
"What thing?" Nick asks him.
"Nothing, just like, a couple of us are getting together to hang out."
"Who are "a couple of us?" Nick asks, wondering at the smoke and mirrors.
"Nobody."
"Great. Still, I'm sure these nobody's have names."
"Why? So you can run a background on them?"
Yes, Nick thinks.
"It's not nobody, it's somebody," Diana says, practically bouncing.
"DI! Shut up," Kelly says and Nick narrows his eyes at his son.
"Great, now we know it's somebody," Hank interjects. "Does somebody have a name?"
Di can barely contain her glee and Nick realizes his son is starting to turn red.
"Oh, my god, if you won't tell them I will," she says impatiently and Kelly cuts his eyes to his sister warningly.
"Don't you dare."
"Well, now we're all curious," Wu says, coming to stand by Nick's desk. Kelly glances around the station.
"Anyway," Diana says, turning back to Nick. "As you can see, I'm the one who really needs the car."
"You can ask Claudia or Nina to drive," Kelly protests.
"I could, but I'm not going to," Diana agrees and grins wickedly at her brother. Kelly gives her another murderous look.
"Please, dad," she adds, smiling beguilingly at Nick, and Nick's struck by how much like her mother she is, with her expression. He's already reaching into his pocket to pull out his keys before he realizes what he's doing.
"Can't you ask the chief?" Kelly retorts, and Diana swivels her blonde head back to her brother.
The Chief, of course being Renard, her father. She could easily ask Renard to buy her own car and he would. Nick wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't already. She's close with Renard, too, though she spent most of her life growing up with Nick and Adalind and Kelly in their home.
"Why do you need the car so badly?" Nick cuts in again and Kelly darts his eyes back to his father. "What is this thing? Who is this thing?"
"Fifty bucks says it's a girl," Wu says.
"Ding! Ding! Ding!" Diana cries, and Kelly smacks her arm.
"Oh, he's got a thang," Hank cuts in, grinning, as he leans back in his chair.
Nick glances at his son in growing alarm as Kelly flushes bright red. He shrugs nonchalantly.
"Is it a girl?"
"Maybe."
"Who's the lucky girl?" Wu asks him and Kelly shrugs again and flicks his eyes towards Nick.
"Oh, don't keep us in suspense. Diana's going to tell us anyway." Hank says. Diana raises her eyebrows and grins in agreement.
"Breanna Welch," he mutters, and then, more sharply to Nick. "And don't you dare look her up!"
"Why? He does it to all my dates," Diana points out reasonably.
Actually, Hank and Wu usually do the background on that, but Nick doesn't think they'll appreciate the difference. Really between Nick and Renard, and even Monroe, Diana's social life with members of the opposite sex is well-covered.
"Breanna Welch," Wu says. "Sounds like a lucky girl. Congratulations." Kelly smiles, displaying a row of perfect teeth, recently relieved of their metal brackets. He has his mother's smile, an easy, wide, beautiful grin.
"You have a date," Nick surmises, finding his voice, and Kelly looks at Nick and nods.
When the hell did you get old enough to date? Nick wants to ask him. Hell, when did he get old enough to drive? Wasn't he just learning to walk and talk a week ago?
"Anyway, I really need the car, Dad."
Nick nods, trying to mask the astonishment, and the growing panic he feels.
His son is old enough to date. He's going on a date. Oh, Christ. He's going to have to have The Talk. He hasn't had The Talk. He's not prepared to have The Talk. Didn't his mother have The Talk with him?
Nick glances at Diana, still smirking at Kelly with a small, proud little smile. Though she teases him mercilessly, she loves her brother fiercely. Kelly gives as good as he gets, and he's also incredibly protective of his sister.
He knows Adalind had The Talk with her, so surely she's had The Talk with his son, so there's no need to cover anything there, unless Kelly has questions.
God, he hopes he doesn't have any questions.
"Me, too," Diana pipes in and Kelly looks at her with annoyance.
"No you don't! You can walk to the movies!"
"It's eight miles," Diana retorts.
"So, take a bus."
"Why don't you?"
"Cause! That's not very romantic, to make a girl walk, or take the bus!"
"Uh-huh," Diana says. "I think a walk under a starlit night would be very romantic."
"It's pouring rain!"
"So, take an umbrella," she replies. "Think of how romantic that is, then. Sharing an umbrella," she coos mockingly.
"Plus, I kind of already told her I'd pick her up, and that implies I have a car," Kelly says uncomfortably, and Hank and Wu expel a breath in understanding.
"Ah, that explains it," Wu says.
"Nick, help the poor boy out," Hank says, clearly amused. Nick meets Kelly's hopeful gaze.
"Yeah, dad, help me out," he pleads.
"Where are you taking her?"
"Just out to dinner," Kelly says.
"Right, you're not going to park at the summit afterwards or anything," Diana says and Nick's focus on his son sharpens considerably when Kelly's ears turn beet red and he glares daggers at his sister.
"Di!"
"No, you're going to thank her for a nice night and come straight home," Nick says firmly. "Because I am not going to find my son busted with his hand up some girl's shirt at the summit."
"Usually they're not wearing the shirt when that happens," Wu drawls. "Come on, it would be kind of funny," Wu says. "Maybe not for the girl," he concedes at their looks. "Or you," he adds at Nick's glare. "But I guarantee you Hank and I and most of the station would get a good laugh."
Nick's glare deepens, and he flicks his attention back to his son.
"Dad!" Kelly exclaims, and there's a mixture of guilt and appall in his expression that leads Nick to believe that his son might have entertained a few wild ideas for his date. "She's not just some girl!"
Oh, boy. Whoever this girl is, his son appears to have fallen hard for her. Why hasn't he heard of her before now?
"I don't know," Kelly says with another uncomfortable shrug when Nick asks. "I wasn't sure if she liked me."
"Breanna Welch. Why do I know that name?" Hank says thoughtfully.
"Her mother is Trixie Welch," Diana says. "Welch's timber?"
"Wow," Wu says in awe. "Nice going." Kelly grins a little and ducks his head.
One of the most prominent families in Portland. Okay. Now he definitely can't find out his son was busted with their daughter or it's likely to be Nick's job as a result.
"You will act like a gentleman at all times," Nick says sternly and Kelly looks affronted. "Does your mother know you're going out with some girl?" Nick asks him.
"She's not some girl," Kelly says.
"She's nobody," Diana reminds him.
"I thought she was somebody," Wu says.
Kelly crosses his arm defensively and rolls his eyes.
"You guys think you're so funny. Mom said to ask you for the car," Kelly tells him.
Wait a second. Adalind threw this situation on him without so much as a warning?
"Remind me to thank you mother," Nick mutter. "Why can't you take your mom's car? Is she using it?"
"Dad, really?" Kelly asks him as though he's an idiot and Nick frowns.
"No room to move," Diana supplies with a cheeky grin and Kelly smacks her shoulder with the back of his hand. "The Land Cruiser has room to stretch out if you need to."
"Why would you need to?" Nick asks his son, and it only dawns on him a millisecond later the reason. He raises an eyebrow at his son and more red floods his cheeks.
"It's not like that," Kelly insists. "Your car is cooler than mom's, and anyway, how would you know?" he asks his sister pointedly and Nick, Hank, and Wu all look at her with interest—well, in Nick's case, barely contained horror at what his son is implying about his little girl, who admittedly hasn't been little in a long time.
"Because, Mom, auntie Rosalee, Trubel and Eve and I used it when we went camping last year."
Nick breathes out a sigh of relief.
"That's good to hear," Nick says and she smiles sweetly. He turns to his son. "You can take your mother's car." A practical, safe and completely sexless choice. A basic hatchback, used to ferry Adalind to work and the kids to school and various activities. A small, cramped interior, especially now with two grown children. Nick would think it excruciating for two hormonal teens trying to get it on, though Nick knows from experience where there's a determined will, there's a way. He figures, though, for the first time, it should do the trick.
If it's Kelly's first time, that is.
"Dad!" Kelly whines.
"Or, you can walk. I have an umbrella you can borrow. Your choice." Diana smirks at her brother and Kelly grumbles a pathetic fine after a moment.
"So, does that mean I can have the Land Cruiser tonight, then?" Diana asks Nick hopefully, and both Nick and Kelly roll their heads towards her in annoyance.
"No. You'll have to ask your other dad for his car. I'm going to need mine for a while," Nick says, and Kelly smirks slightly as Diana pouts. "What time is your date?" he asks his son.
"7:30."
Nick checks his watch and frowns.
"I think you and I need to have a talk before you go."
"Why? What for?" Kelly protests, uncrossing his arms.
"A refresher on the rules of the road," Nick says.
%%%%
"I know how to drive, dad," Kelly says.
"Uh-huh," Nick replies distractedly. The call to Adalind went straight to voicemail, naturally.
"Why are we in here?" Kelly asks him, looking around.
"Take a seat," Nick says and Kelly, after a moment, complies with a put-upon sigh. "Here" is one of the interrogation rooms in the station. Nick thought it best to cover a few things before he allows his son to embark on what is certainly in Kelly's mind one of the biggest nights of his life.
"I wanted to go over—" Nick starts, and then stops. Kelly stares back at him with a blank, slightly bored expression on his face. "I wanted to ask—" Nick begins again, but falters, after few seconds. Kelly's brow starts slinking low into the corner of his eye as he waits impatiently for his father to elaborate further.
"Tonight's undoubtedly a big night for you," Nick tries and the expression on his son's face changes from confusion to growing horror. "And I wanted to make sure you were prepared," Nick says briskly and his son's eyes bulge out of his head.
"Oh, god!" Kelly exclaims. "We're not going to have The Talk, are we?"
"Have you had the talk?" Nick asks him.
"Yes! Like, three years ago."
"With who?"
"Mom!" Kelly shouts and Nick breathes a sigh of relief. "And Diana, and aunt Rosalee, and a few others," he trails off and Nick's relief wanes.
"What others?"
"I know about the birds and the bees, dad," Kelly says dismissively. "Plus, that whole thing with Menchurah in heat was kind of illuminating," he adds and Nick grimaces.
"Right," Nick says, remembering that particular wesen. In retrospect, maybe he wouldn't have had his fourteen-year-old son on that one, but he hadn't known what it was until it was too late. "So you know to be careful. And respectful. Respectful's better," Nick says. "Especially on a first date. Or a second or third. Or twelth. You're still young, there's no need to rush anything. It's all right to wait. Wait a long time."
"Oh my god," Kelly says, and puts his head in his hands.
"I was…I was just a little bit older than you the first time—I—a girl and I-" Nick sputters, and Kelly moans and covers his ears.
"The first time I kissed a girl," and Kelly looks up at him disbelievingly. "Fine," Nick admits. "The first time I rounded the bases."
Parked at a summit of his own, and Nick knows exactly what thoughts are going through his son's mind as he thinks about tonight.
"You mean went all the way."
Nick nods and shrugs.
"How old were you?"
"I was seventeen," Nick says. "And it's not a contest," he adds. "You don't have to feel like you're way behind me or anybody else if you haven't…you haven't, right?" he asks suddenly, and Kelly flushes red again and shakes his head.
Thank god.
"It can be confusing," Nick says uncomfortably. "And exciting," he adds, "And a lot can happen quickly, and you need to be level-headed, and prepared," he emphasizes.
"You mean, wear a condom," Kelly says.
"I mean, yes, use protection, but I really mean, wait, take a moment and really think if that's what you want to do."
"Did you really think and take a moment?"
"No, probably not as long as I should. But I was careful, I used protection. I just wish maybe I had given it more thought, and who I was with."
"Who were you with?" Kelly asks, brow wrinkling.
"A girl I had been seeing off and on over the summer," Nick says, not really wanting to get into the finer details. His aunt, he soon found out, was incredibly skilled at keeping a close, sharp, eye on him, and given that he later learned she was a Grimm, her ability in that arena makes more sense. But she was also incredibly practical, and though the circumstances of Nick's life provided most of the protection against opportunities, and she was an incredibly able cock-blocker for her teenage nephew, she knew the day would come where she wasn't able to prevent every circumstance that might afford him the opportunity to experience the opposite sex, so he had endured an intensely uncomfortable, direct, and thorough "talk" of his own.
Despite his comment to his son, Nick had definitely felt pressured, the drive of adolescence, the pull of his peers, that he was somehow behind the curve, to be seventeen and still a virgin, while it seemed everyone around him was having sex. Not to mention constantly being the new kid, the orphan, put a crimp in his relationships, anyway.
He'd been afforded a rare opportunity of distraction, his aunt out of town unexpectedly on an emergency and left him alone, and he took it as fate smiling down on him, and he wasn't about to waste it, particularly since he'd been stuck on second base for a while then.
He had taken the girl out and then taken her to his house and spent, what he can now concede, was an embarrassingly short amount of time in the bedroom, feeling and fooling his way around as he rounded third and slid into home. He found out later it wasn't her first time, but he managed to sleep with her three more times before they broke up.
"Okay, the sports metaphors," Kelly says, shaking his head when Nick looks at him to see if he's following the slightly more abbreviated version he's relaying to his son. "Really, dad, it's the twenty-first century. Come into the present."
"I want you to be safe. Your mother wants you to be safe!" Nick snaps, annoyed.
"Dad, chill, it's our first date," Kelly says uncomfortably. "We're not going to do anything, except maybe hold hands and kiss, or something, I don't know. If she wants to."
"I just want you to be prepared, and I want to make sure you treat her respectfully. Don't pressure her, and if she looks or feels uncomfortable with a situation you back off. Treat her like a gentleman at all times."
"Duh, dad, of course."
"Okay," Nick says, feeling slightly off his game. "You don't have any questions?" he asks uncomfortably.
"Can I go now?"
"Not yet," Nick says and Kelly sighs. "I mean, about girls, or sex, or…anything else? You can ask me anything," Nick says. "I never had a dad to talk to about this—stuff like this—so, I want you to know, I'm here for you. Any questions you have, it's fine."
Kelly eyes him dubiously and Nick waits.
"Well, there is one thing," he says after a moment. "I kind of feel weird asking."
"Anything," Nick says encouragingly. "I want you to come to your dad when you have questions or you need help."
Kelly nods solemnly.
"Okay. I promised her dinner. Can I have twenty bucks?"
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