Title: Close To Your Heart
Author: Emmy
Rating: PG.
Content: Romance/Slash (HP/SS)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Part 1:
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Severus Snape found himself in one of the many countless taverns that littered Hogsmeade. He settled back in his shadowy corner booth and relaxed with a small glass of rum, swirling the contents about before taking a small sip. The atmosphere was dark and the smoke seemed to dim the already flickering light from the dozen or so candles located on each simple circular-shaped chandelier. He ignored the quiet murmurs and bawdy laughs of the few other wizards and warlocks who were chattering about with the waitresses and each other.
An almost inaudible bell sounded as the door opened, the gusts of wind blowing in more snow to melt on the warm floor at the entrance of the tavern. Severus didn't look up to see the visitor as some of the others did and so he didn't see the slack opened mouths of the warlocks and wizards as they caught sight of the person, nor did he notice the waitresses' swoons as they were passed. In fact, he didn't notice the new arrival until the young man was standing at his table.
"So, this is where you went." Harry Potter of all people smiled genially down at him. Then the boy had the unmitigated gall to plop down in the booth right next to Severus, taking Severus' glass of rum and sipping from it before setting it down between them.
Severus narrowed his eyes at the slender figure of the now twenty-one year old wizard. "What is it that you want?" He snorted.
"Mmm...nothing." Harry waved to an approaching waitress and ordered himself a butterbeer before turning back to the potions master. "One would think you were wallowing in your own misery." Harry commented softly.
"Do leave me alone, Potter. I happen to like wallowing in my own misery." Severus glared. "And why are you bothering me, don't you have your little friends and fanclub waiting for you somewhere?"
Harry paused and turned away when the waitress returned with his butterbeer. He sat there for a moment, staring down into the golden liquid before glancing over to Severus once more. "Ron and Hermione are dead." He said soberly.
"Did you think to come to me for sympathy? Why didn't you go to see Dumbledore or Black or someone else?" Severus replied bitterly.
"Because I don't want sympathy." Harry stated.
Severus considered Harry for a few moments, but refused to comment on that. He still didn't understand why Harry would seek him out of all people, especially after how he had treated him in the past and even continued to treat him. Severus felt it was necessary to keep Harry at a distance even now after Lucius and Draco had both died in battle.
"Severus." Harry leaned close and gently kissed his lips. When he pulled away he slowly opened his eyes again and smiled at the look on the older wizard's features. He seemed oblivious to the crowd that was still watching them with great interest. "I've wanted to do that for a while now." He whispered.
"Why?" Severus managed, although he sounded weak.
Harry sighed and looked forward speaking as if he were speaking to some invisible person sitting across from them. "I never really got to tell my parents how I probably would have felt about them, then I lost the chance to tell my best friends how much they really meant to me." When he looked back to Severus, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "I never told you how I really felt about you and I don't want to lose you too."
Severus was shocked to speechlessness. It took him a few minutes before he could actually speak. "You what?!"
Harry leaned against him, resting his head against Severus' shoulder, and closed his eyes. "At first I hated you because you were cruel to me, but at the end of my first year I found out that you had tried to protect me from Quirrell. I couldn't understand it and it confused me. Later I still didn't like you, but I didn't feel as if I hated you so much. By the time my fourth year ended, I felt respect for you and I guess I began to even like you a little. In my fifth year I thought I had a passing crush on you, and tried to ignore it. In my sixth and seventh years my feelings hadn't changed or lessened at all and I think I might have even liked you more since we had worked much more closely in the fight against Voldemort. I was afraid to admit how I felt because of how you might take such a confession. It wasn't until after Ron and Hermione's deaths yesterday that I realized I had to admit how much I love you." He turned to gaze at Severus. "You know, even though Voldemort is dead, they were still killed by Death Eaters who had managed to escape. It seems almost ironic. Even after he's died Voldemort still continues to destroy my life." Harry gave a bitter laugh and a tear rolled down his cheek.
"You...love me?" Severus asked, slack jawed. He could feel his face burning.
Harry nodded and looked down into his butterbeer almost shyly. "I really missed you after I left Hogwarts..." He whispered. "I didn't realize how strongly I had felt towards you until I had already gone. I joined the Ministry and trained to be an auror with Hermione and Ron. They were going to both be my partners, but we were supposed to graduate to full auror status tonight. They died before we could even begin to fight." He cried freely now and Severus felt an unfamiliar pang of sympathy welling up within him.
"So, you'll be an auror tonight?" Severus fought to keep his voice even. 'How pathetic! I'm letting a little love confession get to me like this. I must be losing my mind...' Severus mused. Although he also reminded himself that no one else had ever confessed to loving him before.
"No." Harry shook his head. "I decided that I want nothing to do with the Ministry anymore."
"Then what do you plan to do?" It struck Severus that Harry might decide to live off of his parents' fortune. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
"I would like to stay with you." He replied.
"With me?" Severus raised an eyebrow. He was slightly disgusted when he realized the idea thrilled him much more than it should have.
"Yes, I don't think I want to leave you." He blushed as he spoke.
"You act as if we're already together." Severus waved his hand in a vague motion between them. Harry's presumptuous attitude made him a little nervous as well as a little excited.
Harry smiled and turned to him. "But, I know you do love me. You saved me more than once when we were working together and when we said goodbye you seemed almost sad. I thought I had imagined it at first, but then I understood I hadn't. And then...you would have already turned me down, but you haven't."
"Damn." Severus gulped down the rest of his drink and slammed it down on the table before ordering another round which came right away.
"You do, don't you." Harry said.
Severus took this round and swallowed it down quickly again, ordering yet another round. He was going to get himself plastered before the night was over and try to ignore the pretty boy leaning against him and breathing on his neck. He took the next round and disposed of it as quickly as he had with the others. On his sixth round, Harry took the glass away and pressed his lips against the older wizard's. Severus was too drunk to pretend he didn't like it anymore and grabbed the younger man, pulling him close and returning the kiss.
"I think we'd better get back to Hogwarts, love." Harry's voice was incredibly seductive to the not so lucid Severus and he agreed, although more out of wanting to agree with whatever that voice told him than actually agreeing with what was being said.
Harry helped the potions master to his feet and walked him out the door and back to Hogwarts after paying their tab and waving goodbye to the still gawking crowd they had managed to gather. When they arrived at Hogwarts they were greeted by Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry and Dumbledore exchanged words and then Severus found himself once more being led down a vaguely familiar corridor and into a room which he realized was his own after a moment's disorientation.
He didn't have long to ponder how Harry had found his rooms so easily for Harry led him to the bed and sat him down. He was quickly stripped down to his boxers and watched as Harry did the same to himself, slipping under the covers with him. He snuggled next to Severus and the older man instinctively wrapped his arms around Harry to pull him closer. Severus fell asleep almost instantly, managing to get a better rest than he had had in years surprisingly enough.
When he awoke the next day, Severus had a pounding headache. He glanced down and found Harry still asleep in his arms. He didn't move but wondered at the sight of the pretty and nearly nude young wizard nestled in his arms in his bed. He reached up and ran his hands through Harry's silky hair as he leaned forward and kissed his lightning bolt shaped scar. When he pulled away, Harry was watching him, smiling slightly.
"I knew I was right." He laughed softly and kissed Severus' chin.
Severus grumbled and sat up, opening the bedside drawer to pull out a small vial of green fluid which he drank. He turned back to Harry and wrapped his arms around him again, laying his head back on the pillow. "Go back to sleep, I'm waiting for my headache to go away." He growled lightly, hoping against hope that Harry would forget what just happened, despite the fact that he was now almost clinging to him desperately. Damn it...that'll be the last time he'd ever consider getting drunk within miles of Harry Potter.
Harry laughed again and kissed Severus before closing his eyes once more. He'd express his plan to become a teacher at the school to Severus eventually. Perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to get the older wizard to actually acknowledge his feelings - after all he'd just slept with him and kissed him.
When Severus woke up again Harry was still there. Severus frowned as he stared down at the peacefully sleeping body of his ex-student. He had assumed it was all a dream, but apparently it was very real. Harry snuggled closer to Severus and whispered something softly in his sleep: "I love you."
Severus was grateful that Harry didn't see the deep blush that he felt spread over his face when he heard those words. It was so odd that he had missed Harry after the younger wizard had left and even longed for him to return, but this was absolutely insane! How could Harry claim to love someone like him? Did he forget that Severus was an ex-Death Eater? Severus wondered about that. He would have to wait until Harry woke again.
TBC..
Part 1:
---
Severus Snape found himself in one of the many countless taverns that littered Hogsmeade. He settled back in his shadowy corner booth and relaxed with a small glass of rum, swirling the contents about before taking a small sip. The atmosphere was dark and the smoke seemed to dim the already flickering light from the dozen or so candles located on each simple circular-shaped chandelier. He ignored the quiet murmurs and bawdy laughs of the few other wizards and warlocks who were chattering about with the waitresses and each other.
An almost inaudible bell sounded as the door opened, the gusts of wind blowing in more snow to melt on the warm floor at the entrance of the tavern. Severus didn't look up to see the visitor as some of the others did and so he didn't see the slack opened mouths of the warlocks and wizards as they caught sight of the person, nor did he notice the waitresses' swoons as they were passed. In fact, he didn't notice the new arrival until the young man was standing at his table.
"So, this is where you went." Harry Potter of all people smiled genially down at him. Then the boy had the unmitigated gall to plop down in the booth right next to Severus, taking Severus' glass of rum and sipping from it before setting it down between them.
Severus narrowed his eyes at the slender figure of the now twenty-one year old wizard. "What is it that you want?" He snorted.
"Mmm...nothing." Harry waved to an approaching waitress and ordered himself a butterbeer before turning back to the potions master. "One would think you were wallowing in your own misery." Harry commented softly.
"Do leave me alone, Potter. I happen to like wallowing in my own misery." Severus glared. "And why are you bothering me, don't you have your little friends and fanclub waiting for you somewhere?"
Harry paused and turned away when the waitress returned with his butterbeer. He sat there for a moment, staring down into the golden liquid before glancing over to Severus once more. "Ron and Hermione are dead." He said soberly.
"Did you think to come to me for sympathy? Why didn't you go to see Dumbledore or Black or someone else?" Severus replied bitterly.
"Because I don't want sympathy." Harry stated.
Severus considered Harry for a few moments, but refused to comment on that. He still didn't understand why Harry would seek him out of all people, especially after how he had treated him in the past and even continued to treat him. Severus felt it was necessary to keep Harry at a distance even now after Lucius and Draco had both died in battle.
"Severus." Harry leaned close and gently kissed his lips. When he pulled away he slowly opened his eyes again and smiled at the look on the older wizard's features. He seemed oblivious to the crowd that was still watching them with great interest. "I've wanted to do that for a while now." He whispered.
"Why?" Severus managed, although he sounded weak.
Harry sighed and looked forward speaking as if he were speaking to some invisible person sitting across from them. "I never really got to tell my parents how I probably would have felt about them, then I lost the chance to tell my best friends how much they really meant to me." When he looked back to Severus, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "I never told you how I really felt about you and I don't want to lose you too."
Severus was shocked to speechlessness. It took him a few minutes before he could actually speak. "You what?!"
Harry leaned against him, resting his head against Severus' shoulder, and closed his eyes. "At first I hated you because you were cruel to me, but at the end of my first year I found out that you had tried to protect me from Quirrell. I couldn't understand it and it confused me. Later I still didn't like you, but I didn't feel as if I hated you so much. By the time my fourth year ended, I felt respect for you and I guess I began to even like you a little. In my fifth year I thought I had a passing crush on you, and tried to ignore it. In my sixth and seventh years my feelings hadn't changed or lessened at all and I think I might have even liked you more since we had worked much more closely in the fight against Voldemort. I was afraid to admit how I felt because of how you might take such a confession. It wasn't until after Ron and Hermione's deaths yesterday that I realized I had to admit how much I love you." He turned to gaze at Severus. "You know, even though Voldemort is dead, they were still killed by Death Eaters who had managed to escape. It seems almost ironic. Even after he's died Voldemort still continues to destroy my life." Harry gave a bitter laugh and a tear rolled down his cheek.
"You...love me?" Severus asked, slack jawed. He could feel his face burning.
Harry nodded and looked down into his butterbeer almost shyly. "I really missed you after I left Hogwarts..." He whispered. "I didn't realize how strongly I had felt towards you until I had already gone. I joined the Ministry and trained to be an auror with Hermione and Ron. They were going to both be my partners, but we were supposed to graduate to full auror status tonight. They died before we could even begin to fight." He cried freely now and Severus felt an unfamiliar pang of sympathy welling up within him.
"So, you'll be an auror tonight?" Severus fought to keep his voice even. 'How pathetic! I'm letting a little love confession get to me like this. I must be losing my mind...' Severus mused. Although he also reminded himself that no one else had ever confessed to loving him before.
"No." Harry shook his head. "I decided that I want nothing to do with the Ministry anymore."
"Then what do you plan to do?" It struck Severus that Harry might decide to live off of his parents' fortune. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
"I would like to stay with you." He replied.
"With me?" Severus raised an eyebrow. He was slightly disgusted when he realized the idea thrilled him much more than it should have.
"Yes, I don't think I want to leave you." He blushed as he spoke.
"You act as if we're already together." Severus waved his hand in a vague motion between them. Harry's presumptuous attitude made him a little nervous as well as a little excited.
Harry smiled and turned to him. "But, I know you do love me. You saved me more than once when we were working together and when we said goodbye you seemed almost sad. I thought I had imagined it at first, but then I understood I hadn't. And then...you would have already turned me down, but you haven't."
"Damn." Severus gulped down the rest of his drink and slammed it down on the table before ordering another round which came right away.
"You do, don't you." Harry said.
Severus took this round and swallowed it down quickly again, ordering yet another round. He was going to get himself plastered before the night was over and try to ignore the pretty boy leaning against him and breathing on his neck. He took the next round and disposed of it as quickly as he had with the others. On his sixth round, Harry took the glass away and pressed his lips against the older wizard's. Severus was too drunk to pretend he didn't like it anymore and grabbed the younger man, pulling him close and returning the kiss.
"I think we'd better get back to Hogwarts, love." Harry's voice was incredibly seductive to the not so lucid Severus and he agreed, although more out of wanting to agree with whatever that voice told him than actually agreeing with what was being said.
Harry helped the potions master to his feet and walked him out the door and back to Hogwarts after paying their tab and waving goodbye to the still gawking crowd they had managed to gather. When they arrived at Hogwarts they were greeted by Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry and Dumbledore exchanged words and then Severus found himself once more being led down a vaguely familiar corridor and into a room which he realized was his own after a moment's disorientation.
He didn't have long to ponder how Harry had found his rooms so easily for Harry led him to the bed and sat him down. He was quickly stripped down to his boxers and watched as Harry did the same to himself, slipping under the covers with him. He snuggled next to Severus and the older man instinctively wrapped his arms around Harry to pull him closer. Severus fell asleep almost instantly, managing to get a better rest than he had had in years surprisingly enough.
When he awoke the next day, Severus had a pounding headache. He glanced down and found Harry still asleep in his arms. He didn't move but wondered at the sight of the pretty and nearly nude young wizard nestled in his arms in his bed. He reached up and ran his hands through Harry's silky hair as he leaned forward and kissed his lightning bolt shaped scar. When he pulled away, Harry was watching him, smiling slightly.
"I knew I was right." He laughed softly and kissed Severus' chin.
Severus grumbled and sat up, opening the bedside drawer to pull out a small vial of green fluid which he drank. He turned back to Harry and wrapped his arms around him again, laying his head back on the pillow. "Go back to sleep, I'm waiting for my headache to go away." He growled lightly, hoping against hope that Harry would forget what just happened, despite the fact that he was now almost clinging to him desperately. Damn it...that'll be the last time he'd ever consider getting drunk within miles of Harry Potter.
Harry laughed again and kissed Severus before closing his eyes once more. He'd express his plan to become a teacher at the school to Severus eventually. Perhaps it wouldn't be so hard to get the older wizard to actually acknowledge his feelings - after all he'd just slept with him and kissed him.
When Severus woke up again Harry was still there. Severus frowned as he stared down at the peacefully sleeping body of his ex-student. He had assumed it was all a dream, but apparently it was very real. Harry snuggled closer to Severus and whispered something softly in his sleep: "I love you."
Severus was grateful that Harry didn't see the deep blush that he felt spread over his face when he heard those words. It was so odd that he had missed Harry after the younger wizard had left and even longed for him to return, but this was absolutely insane! How could Harry claim to love someone like him? Did he forget that Severus was an ex-Death Eater? Severus wondered about that. He would have to wait until Harry woke again.
TBC..