Sometimes
The Weaver Atropos
((Warnings)) One-shot, language, first person POV
((Comments)) Slight dawdle on Two-Bit
Sometimes
Craning my head, I was surprised to see a young girl, certainly not older than fifteen, enter the classroom. She stood there, somewhat self-consciously, and waited anxiously for the teacher to introduce her.
Cathy. Her name was Cathy. Eyeing her over gave me reason to believe she was a Soc. Perhaps it was the knee length skirt, or maybe the decent, innocent smile that rested on her features. Hell, our broads weren't anything like that.
"Check it out, Pony," Two-Bit muttered, poking me from behind, "That chick's sure got it made."
"She's a Soc," Steve growled, glaring at the new student with deep disdain.
"Soc or no Soc, that girl's got the curves she needs to make me happy…"
Cathy, who had overhead the conversation as she sauntered toward her assigned seat, blushed and glanced at Two-Bit. The latter smiled a cocky grin, nodding and fixing his gorgeous gaze at her.
Flushing in surprise, Cathy shifted in her seat and bit her lip. For the rest of the class, she stole glances from Two-Bit, who, as usual, was acting like the fool he was.
The bell rang and all the students darted out of the room, all looking bored to death. Cathy lingered behind, not because she had any ideas with Two-Bit, but because it took her a while to gather her belongings and study her schedule.
"Hey, baby—" Two-Bit interrupted, making her jump as he studied the trembling paper in her hand from behind her, "looks like we've got algebra together."
Cathy smiled at the taller boy, or rather say, man, and extended her hand. "I'm Cathy."
"I'm Two-Bit, and this is…Pony and Steve—"
Smiling at the other boys, who in turn turned a cold stare on her, Cathy let her gaze return toward Two-Bit. "I…I haven't been able to find—my locker, that's why I arrived here so late…do you think—"
"Sure."
"Thank you."
Two-Bit smiled liberally and let his arm snake precariously around her shoulders. Cathy smiled at his audacity and hugged her books closer, "So…why Two-Bit?"
"You should have seen him! He was droolin' over the damn girl—"
"She was that hot?" Soda interrupted, handing out drinks to his pals.
"Sexy," Two-Bit supplied, "Sexy and interesting."
Pony, who had remained quiet for much of the conversation, dared to let laughter escape his lips.
"Sexy, Two-Bit? You could barely see her knees…and she's a Soc."
"Whoa…Socie on the loose—what's all this about, buddy?"
"Just havin' fun…gotta let the eye wander, ya know?"
Soda grinned crazily, "Bring 'er over, Darry won't mind, and if he does, it don't matter…He ain't the voice of this household."
A voice rumbled from the Curtis' kitchen, apparently, Darry had overheard the conversation and was teasingly refusing.
"Aww…come on, please?" Soda begged, dropping onto his knees and grasping Darry's, "Just this once…and maybe a couple hundred other times?"
"Hey."
Cathy jumped, surprised at seeing Two-Bit, cleverly hidden behind her locker door. Smiling, she pushed her chocolately hair out of her eyes and straightened her glasses. "You don't make much sense, Two-Bit."
"Have I ever?"
"I do not know…Doesn't it bother you—my being a Soc and you a greaser?"
Two-Bit looked momentarily insulted. Rubbing his fingertips against his leather jacket in an act of male confidence he began to speak. "Shouldn't bother me, s'long as it don't bother you."
Cathy stopped. "I'm sorry, that's not how I meant it, honest—"
Two-Bit grinned and stretched his hands over his head. "Don't worry about it, babe."
"She's a nerd," Steve scoffed, describing Cathy to the Curtis brothers who, aside from Ponyboy still did not know her. "And a kiss ass."
Two-Bit glowered at Steve who matched his glare evenly. "She's not a nerd," Two-Bit defended, "She's just real into studying. Kinda like Pony."
"'Cept Pony's a greaser. She ain't our kind. Come on, Two-Bit, Whadda ya see in 'er anyway? She's not blonde, for starters, quiet as a grave, and to top it off, is probably still a virgin—why do you even bother?"
"Because it ain't like that, Steve. You don't know 'er like I do."
"Shit, Two-Bit, you're gettin' way over your head—"
Cathy laughed happily and continued poking Two-Bit square in the ribs. She never would've imagined him to be so tickilish!
"Quit it!" he finally breathed, drawing in a ragged breath. Cathy simply glanced at him with a more determined glance and let her fingertips filter deeper into his shirt.
"Hey!" he protested once more, wriggling on the ground by choice, as he could stop her easily if he wanted.
Cathy slid back onto her legs, shifting away from me, and stared at the darkening sky. Following her gaze, I ventured to let my arm come around her waist and pulled her into a more intimate embrace.
She eyed me with reserve—not disgusted, no, and it wasn't confusion either, it was a blank expression, meditating perhaps—and leaned into the offered hug.
"I do not understand you, Two-Bit," she finally murmured, her breath silky and soft against my neck. "I mean—I…I've heard about you, you're girls, every week—it's a new one…"
I listened attentively and sighed. She couldn't be more wrong. Sure, I had a new girl nearly every day, but that meant nothing—it hurt me to think she thought like that. Sometimes…
"That don't mean nothing—"
"Not for you, Two-Bit…but I know you would never be serious with me—and I
don't want that…"
"You don't understand."
"How can I? I'm a Soc and you're a greaser! I can't understand you if you keep
shutting me out…!"
"I'm not shutting you out! It's just that sometimes….sometimes—"
"Sometimes what, Two-Bit…I want to know you, I want to be with you—"
Two-Bit let his shoulders hunch over in defeat. He hated this. She had managed to, some time ago, break through his happy-go-lucky façade and discovered who he really was. It hurt him, really, knowing he could no longer hide beneath his usual shell of mirth.
"You don't wanna know me. You wanna know how it feels—the rush of a rumble, the passion in a kiss. That got nothin' to do with me…I ain't your play toy just cause I'm a greaser—"
"I don't want a play toy!" Cathy shrieked somewhat petulantly, mouth sliding into a pout and arms coming around herself, "All I want is to be with you…and help you."
"Help me? With what?"
"I'm not blind, Keith—"
"Two-Bit," the young man growled, hating the sound of his name on anyone's lips. His father, for the little time he had known him, had called him Keith. He'd made his name sound like trash, like a piece of horse shit. He hated it when anyone called him Keith. It brought back too many memories.
"Fine. Two-Bit, keep hiding behind that name—I don't care how many times
you—"
Cathy stopped, surprised, as Two-Bit pressed his lips against hers in a passionate
kiss. He continued on, a bit dazed at the fact that from the way her body was reacting, she had never before been kissed. Way to go, Two-Bit…you got a Soc's first kiss…
The young girl bit her lip as the two parted, and glanced into his dancing eyes. "I don't understand," she murmured once again, timidly reaching up to stroke black curls, "why me…of all people, why me?"
"Simple really. You're ain't like them. I don't got to worry 'bout you—I…I can be myself with you."
"But…why—Why do you have to hide beneath him…Why do I know Two-Bit and not Keith? Why can't I—"
It was his eyes that made her stop. Eyes that, unlike so many times, were no longer glittering with happiness, but were darkened with contempt and sorrow. "I don't know who Keith is. I know Two-Bit. Two-Bit grew up in the East Side with a gang of buddies. Two-Bit's a joker—a clown…"
"But…you're not Two-Bit."
"But Two-Bit is the only one I know…it don't matter who I am—I'm gonna die a hood no matter what."
Cathy stared at her hands uncertainly and spoke. "You can't expect me to love a man who I do not know—"
"And I ain't the type who expects to be loved."
"But everyone deserves love, Two-Bit," Cathy began, wrapping her arms about his neck and pulling him closer, "and I want a chance to love you…even if it means chancing it on who Keith Matthews is. I want to know you both…but I—I can't without…"
Once again, Two-Bit interrupted her trajectory with a tender kiss. Shifting positions, Two-Bit slowly cradled her beneath him and broke away from the kiss before she had a chance to. As he pulled her closer, her buried his head in her neck, and spoke with an unwavering voice, "Don't judge me. I ain't never judged you…just please don't judge me—"
"I…I—"
"Shh…" he began, pushing her down gently, "tonight's just for us…"
"Are you crazy?"
"Shh," Two-Bit motioned with his hands for Soda to quiet down, "tell the whole town why dontcha!"
"Well it was a helluva shock! Pony always tellin' me how moral she is--"
"Shh!"
"Okay, Okay," Soda muttered while he ran a hand through his silky blond hair. "Are you gonna…?"
"No shit, I am!"
"I can't believe it. You of all people. Have you ever heard of protection?"
"Fuck I have—I just didn't think it would happen!"
Soda's cheeks pinkened slightly at the remark, but said nothing. It was unbelievable that Two-Bit—Two-Bit of all people-- had been so careless.
"So you're tellin' me she's pregnant?"
"Basically…"
"Shit…That means we're gonna have little Two-Bit clones runnin' around?"
Two-Bit smiled goofily and scratched his head sheepishly, "Guess so…"
"Lord, help us…he's reproducing—" Soda joked heartily.
"So…Two-Bit, tell us, was the whore worthwhile?"
Two-Bit, who had been thinking of Cathy, and his future child, glanced up to find a couple of Socs standing before him. 'Assholes' he thought silently 'bet they don't know I got a blade in my pocket…'
"I wouldn't be talkin' Socie—I ain't the one who has a girl who fucked half the
school"
In an action that was far too predictable, the Soc lunged forward, barely managing to hit Two-Bit and ended up on the ground after a few moments. Socs could have money, clothes, and the tuffest cars around, but when you've grown on the streets for nearly eighteen years of your life, a measly punch across the cheek is nothing.
"You're cheek is bruised," Cathy commented hesitantly, pausing when Two-Bit's features tensed. "You got into a fight with them—because of me?"
"Not because of you," the boy murmured good-naturedly, brushing the subject off with a cocky grin, "besides, I don't want ya worryin' over trifles."
"How can I not be worried?" Cathy began, stroking his lips gently, "I don't want you getting hurt everytime I see you. At least promise me you won't instigate—"
"Cathy--" he began, stopping when he caught side of her faltering stance. Sighing, Two-Bit wrapped a protective arm around the young girl and smiled against her cheek, "I ain't gonna promise what I can't do. But. I promise I'll try. Dig that?"
"Sure do."
"So, um…" Two-Bit fumbled absently with the zipper on his jacket before a slight smile crossed his face, "did…did ya see the doctor 'bout the kid?"
"No."
"No?" Two-bit glanced up and studied the young girl with a puzzled expression, "Why not?"
"You're not expecting me to go by myself, are you?"
"I ain't think you'd want me there."
Cathy craned her head and tugged Two-Bit into a secluded corner. Once there, she let her fingertips leisurely trace the edge of his lips. Biting her own, Cathy let her eyes bear into his with intense emotion, "Do you think that…if I hadn't wanted you there, I would be pregnant right now? I trusted you that night, Two-Bit, and I still do…but it hurts me to know that I was with you that night, not because I wanted to feel you, but because I wanted to love you. I did that and you think I don't want you there with me…holding my tummy and buying food to satisfy my cravings?"
"Cathy…"
"Shh—I don't wanna know. Pick me up today. The appointment's at six."
"So, doc—she's okay, right?"
The doctor, who had been attending Cathy since childhood, glanced up with a deadly serious expression. "She's too young. The birth canal is underdeveloped—if it doesn't rupture at all, it will hurt her during the delivery. In short, it'll make a normal procedure harder and more painful because of her age."
Two-Bit sighed out. Great. She was going to be in pain, all because of him…
"Don't worry," she began, twining her fingertips about his, surprising him, "it's not as if it isn't worth it."
"That's right," the doctor continued, "and it's a great start that both of you have decided to have the child, much more that you two seem so willing to do what you can to ease the process. I'll have to meet you every two months from now—call me if you experience any crampings or bleeding of any kind. You're set—Good luck, Catherine."
"You know…"
Two-Bit slid out of his daydream and glanced down at the bundle cuddled beside him. He could stare at her forever. Something about her dark, chocolate hair, and the way it cascaded over her pale, white cheeks had won him over. He smiled to himself…she was pale all over…
"Whadda I know, baby?"
"I'm scared."
Two-bit frowned slightly, "What's wrong?"
Cathy reached up and captured his long calloused fingers in her own. She contemplated them silently for a moment, then sighed wearily. "My…my family—"
"What about your family, doll?" Two-bit ventured, letting the young girl squeeze, stretch, and otherwise disturb his fingers.
She stopped her fiddling suddenly, and looked into his eyes, then away. "Aw…shit—nah…they ain't tell you you gotta forget about me, did they? 'Cause if that's what they did, it's all right, savvy? I ain't gonna leave ya unless they drag me off to jail…"
Two-bit cut off short when he realized Cathy's shoulders had began to shake and she was taking in short, labored breaths.
"Doll? C'mon, ain't you go cryin' on me."
"It's not that, Two-Bit…it's—it's so much…worse…"
The young man could feel his body draining of optimism. Her voice, her voice was so…hopeless.
He held her close, not really sure of what else to do, and only lessened his embrace when she began to speak, "I…I am fifteen years old, Two-bit. You—You…oh God, you're eighteen."
Two-bit shrugged, "So?"
"So!" Cathy was suddenly exasperated with his lack of foresight, "Two-bit that's statutory rape!"
"Rape?" Two-bit repeated, his brow furrowing, "I ain't never touched you without you wanting—"
"I know, I know," Cathy silenced his with a tender squeeze of his hand, "but…that' s the law, Two-bit…"
Two-bit couldn't have been more lost. She had lost him somewhere along 'My family'. He really didn't understand where the hell statutory rape was involved. Glory, he couldn't remember a time where he'd actually followed the law.
"My…My uncle's a lawyer," Cathy paused and glanced into his troubled eyes briefly, "and…my father—and my mother…my parents—they…I can't…I can't---oh, Two-bit, I can't!"
"Baby, baby, c'mon, what's wrong?"
Two-bit gathered his lover in his arms, and gently kissed her forehead. He wouldn't leave her. Never. I'll never let go…not to you—never to you…
Cathy pulled away from his comforting embrace and steadied herself.
"They said…that if—if I had been…enough of a…" Cathy struggled with the upcoming word, "…wh…whore too be with you. Then, then---I…can be…I can be enough of a whore---enough of a whore, to…to have an…abortion."
Two-bit remained frozen in his place. An abortion? He was disgusted. He thought Socs were up high enough on the social pyramid to respect life a bit more. He was about to protest when the girl rushed on:
"I have…I have—to, yes…I do---please, please, Two-bit…I have to—"
"You ain't gotta do nothin'!" Two-bit cried out, cursing every damn ill-valued parent in the world, "Listen to me…"—he began, pressing his forehead against hers—"you and me…are on our own, savvy? We ain't got to do…what they say…"
Cathy pushed at his chest to get a clear view of his face, "No…No—We do…it's okay Two-bit…it—it, they said it wouldn't hurt…that it wouldn't take long—and its something new—new technology, Two-bit…please?"
"No! And why fuck to ya even bother tellin' me this? I ain't for that kinda shit and you already know that!"
Trembling at the intensity of his reply, Cathy let the tears flow once again.
"You…you have to! Two-bit, please—you…you have to! For me…please—"
"If you ain't wanna have this baby—you should've told me that fuckin' night---not today, not now…! I don't give one helluva damn what ya're thinkin' now—I ain't gonna be part of a murder! Look at you, Miss Soc, ain't ever do wrong—little angel. Then she meets the demented, trash greaser and…oh my, she suddenly turns into a whore herself…why? It was the greaser! It was the dirty greaser's fault! It was the trash's fault for pushin' her on the ground and 'rapin' her—it was the grease's fault for lovin' her, it was the greaser's fault for touchin' her and stainin' her purity—even though the slut begged for it, ain't it true, doll? Ain't it always the greaser's fault?"
"Stop! Shut up, Two-bit, I…I don't want to hear you! Shut up! Please!" Cathy cupped her ears with her hands, trying in vain to stop the man's words from getting to her. She could feel the tears coming stronger—much more bitterly.
"You know, you're pitiful…You may be a Soc, but glory, you ain't worth more than I am."
Suddenly, Cathy felt naked. She had never before, during intimacy, felt nude or lacking with Two-bit. He had always made her feel comfortable—safe…never vulnerable. Sickened, she drew the coarse sheets of the bed around her body, faltering when a sharp wave of nausea waved over her.
She waved her hand in front of her face, hoping Two-bit would stop, understand what she meant, perhaps. He didn't.
Catherine glanced around the room. She was going to vomit. If he didn't let up, the stress was going to make her vomit.
The pregnant woman stumbled off the bed, her complexion becoming suddenly pale, and made a vigorous effort to make it to the bathroom in time. Two-bit paused his wild lecturing, thinking she was going to leave, but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the retching noises that were coming from the bathroom.
When he arrived, she was kneeling before the toilet, the sheet precariously draped about her middle, and clutching the adjoining tub as if it were a lifeline. Two-bit felt a wave of remorse wash over him. He remembered the doctor's words when the two had spoken privately:
Any outbreak—argument…anything, can be dangerous for her health. I know, from experience not only as a doctor, but as a father as well, that the father, however paternal he may be, will always choose his wife over an unborn child—I know that if there be a condition where you would have to pick over her and the child—you would not hesitate in aiding your wife. That is why I tell you that any disturbance to your wife, whether it be physical, emotional, or socially—socially in this case, can be fatally dangerous. She may swoop into a depression, ferociously refuse to have the child, find herself unfit for motherhood, or commit suicide. All those scenarios are common in teenage mothers. You, from what I can gather, are her only support. If she feels she has lost you, or is losing you, don't let a sudden fit of anger or indifference surprise you. If you turn your back on her, she will feel lost and do what others tell her to, namely the parents. I do not mean to sound ominous, but, you do not know the parents as I do…be thankful I'm keeping the appointments secret, it goes against my ethics to help in the killing of an unborn child.
One more thing. I'm sure you've heard mothers being overly sentimental—its true. Whatever you do, don't refer to her in terms other than 'honey' or ' doll', as you probably say. Try to refrain from crude language—more so because she's not used to it.
"Cathy?"
"Go…away," the girl replied, pressing her forehead against the bracing porcelain of the toilet.
"But…"
"This whore…needs rest, in a place other than this dump…"
Two-bit was taken aback by her unexpected bitter words and remained speechless.
"Two-bit?"
Two-bit spared the optimistic voice a glance. He brightened. It was Soda.
"Well, hi there, Mr. I-Got-a-Soc-So-I-Forgot-About-my-Friends. How's Cathy doin'?"
"Ever thought of mindin' your business there, Alkaseltzer."
"Alkaseltzer? That hurts deep, Two-bit, I've been called everythin' but Alkaseltzer—it ain't even a soda brand, idiot…and incidentally, no—I ain't gonna mind my business when it comes to your lovelife.
"What if there ain't any?"
Soda grinned, "Glory, Two-bit, you not havin' a lovelife's like sayin' I'm ugly."
"Oh shut your trap, Alkaseltzer."
"But seriously," Soda stretched his arms above his head, "How's Mrs. Two-bit doin'?"
"No idea, buddy…we broke up a while ago."
"Brokeup?" Soda looked concerned, "I imagine that's why you in a bar?"
Two-bit nodded, "What about you, Sprite—what's my nonalcoholic grease doin' here, in a, pardon the expression, bar."
"Ah, layoff, Two-bit, I've gotten drunk before, just it ain't often."
"Then what brings ya here?"
"Trouble?"
"Yup, trouble. And ain't you try to dig no further 'cause I ain't gonna say. I'm hearin' about the breakup first."
Two-bit offered his friend his mug of beer, which Soda accepted. "So now, before we get drunk…tell me-what happened this time."
Two-bit cleared his throat and spoke into the receiver, "Hello, is Miss Catherine available, oh—yes, it is Brian. Fun? Yes, yes…we had fun last night—no, the movie was great…what did we see? Oh okay, thank you…"
She had gone out with another guy. And not just another guy. She had gone out with Brian. The captain of the Varsity football team. Why had he gone out with her, though? She wasn't anything like Cherry, or even Daphne…Two-bit knew why. Everyone knew, though he didn't know why, that he had bedded the girl, and now, all the Socies were eager to get a taste of her…especially after she had gotten experience with a feisty greaser.
"Hello, Brian?"
Shit!
"Uh…Catherine?"
"Is this Brian?"
The question had been directed to the maid who had received the call.
"Yes, it is…"
"Brian? Are you there?"
"I want to see you."
Cathy paused. She recognized the voice. Despite the fact that it was serious, she recognized that slightly drunken voice that told her he was brimming with life. She knew who it was. And although she tried to stop herself from gathering hope, her heart soared.
"Keith?" she asked, knowing if she mentioned his other name, her nanny would wrangle away the phone.
"Uh, yeah," Two-bit answered, realizing it was the second time she had called him by his name.
Cathy turned, tossing the receiver from one hand to the other, and faced the skeptic head maid, "Silly, it's Keith—Brian's cousin. He went out with us last night…he was sure you'd remember him—he's insulted you know, mistaking him for Brian. The boy was speechless. You better apologize, Miriam, here.
The phone was hastily thrust into the maid's hands. Shaking, she brought it up to ear.
"Mr. Keith?"
"Uh, Yes?"
"I apologize for mistaking you for Brian, please do not tell the Madam."
"I ain't…uh, I will not say a thing, please call back Cathy."
"Cathy?" the maid questioned, surprised by the intimacy evident in the lazy voice.
"Catherine," Two-bit corrected instantly.
"Hello, Keith?"
"I need to see you…"
"I'm afraid Brian would not appreciate your not going to the ceremony this weekend. Yes, yes, I know you need a suit—no, its no trouble at all…I'm sure father has at least one acquaintance who can measure you. Here, Miriam knows. Miriam, go find the tailor's number."
"Yes, miss."
"Cathy? Are you there?"
"What do you need?" she responded, her voice small and hurt.
"I need to see you…talk to you."
"About?"
"Miss?"
"Yes Miriam?"
"Here it is."
"Thank you, Miriam."
"Yes, I'm here, Keith. The number's as follows: 201-555-4355."
"You ain't able to talk?"
"No."
"She's behind you?"
"Well, Keith, if you're having problems with your girlfriend—if she's constantly being jealous, standing behind you everytime, listening to every word you say…then I think she needs attention. But that comes from a woman. Perhaps you should consult Brian. Oh, you're embarrassed. I understand…"
What the fuck is she talkin' about…?
"Can you meet me someplace?"
"Really? You want to talk about it some more…oh, you think Brian might come any minute…sure, I'll meet you someplace. We can go look for some suits on the way there, too, perfect."
"Glory, doll—you're confusin' me…come to Soda's."
"No, we can 't go there, Keith. Too many greasers…those filthy things—I'm sure Brian's told you everything. He hasn't? Well, then take it from me. We should not go through that area. It's dangerous for our kind of people to walk through those streets unaccompanied."
Though Two-bit felt a pang of pain at her words, he got the message.
"What about school, Cathy?"
"Sure, that's perfect. You'll come by to pick me up?"
"I dig that…sure, I'll come."
"Oh no! Your car's at the mechanic? Good lord, what happened? You know what, meet me at the school, you can tell me all about it on our way to the store. Bye."
Two-bit put down the phone with a feeling that everything had happened too quickly. He felt as if his life had been in fast forward. The conversation hadn't gone the way he'd hoped it to, but at least she had agreed to meet him. 'Little angel's turning into a devilish little thing.'
Two-bit waited outside the school building, fist jammed into the pockets of his leather jacket. What if she didn't come? Frowning, Two-bit found he'd much rather entertain himself with happy thoughts as opposed to morbid ideas.
He was so into thought, that he didn't see the small girl that approached him. "Two-bit."
Turning, Two-bit found himself staring into a completely different girl. It wasn't Cathy, he told himself. The woman who stood before him wasn't the innocent, curious girl he'd met not too long ago. Her eyes were drawn and weary, and her expression sad. Her lips sagged down at the corners in somewhat of a frown. Her hair had grown longer, yes, and her tummy…her tummy was round and full!
Two-bit watched her with uneasiness. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate that he hug her, or kiss her even. He had been so bull-headed the last time they'd seen each other. He had never thought of contacting her sooner, never thought of seeking her out…perhaps it was too late.
"You didn't have an abortion…"
"Not yet…"
Two-bit turned to Cathy with an inquiring glance, "Not yet?"
"I'm still within the range. I have another month before abortion can no longer be performed on me. That was the deal, Keith."
"Deal?"
Cathy smiled sadly, "That night…you didn't let me finish. I had two choices, three actually, except I never took the last one into consideration, because it was something I knew would destroy you—and I could never do that. The first was to have an abortion—it was either that, or having you thrown in jail for statutory rape—that would've been my second option. My father would have bought the judge with whatever amount of money it might've taken to leave you there for life. He would have conjured up evidence…done anything—I didn't want to let that happen."
"And the third?"
"The third? The third was to disappear. I could never have just left you. Perhaps I would allow you to hate me, at least that way, the pain is lessened by hatred. But if I just left, you'd be here, puzzled as to why I did so, torturing yourself, thinking it was your fault. I could never do that, because, well, I'm selfish too—I wanted the comfort of knowing, that although you might hate me, you would always be within my reach…to glimpse at…to remember.
"You know, Two-bit, when I was with the doctor—after you talked with him, he mentioned the fact that, if I were in a life or death condition, you would always feel more for me than for the child. And then, for a minute, I had this really greedy thought. It made me ashamed. I thought that, if I was asked to either leave you, or have the child, I would never ever leave you. Selfish. Selfish. Selfish. Because, in all honesty, what good it having an child who will grow up seeing a sad mother or father, when true love can help surpass the death of anything."
"Cathy…you don't have to…"
Catherine smiled, a brief, shining smile, before turning around and rubbing her tummy. "I had another choice, too."
"Another one?"
"I could've just left everything as it was and been with you; because if I was as selfish and immature to sacrifice the life of an unborn child, why couldn't I just leave behind hedonistic materials to be with you, happy, because, sometimes, happiness can be everything from nothing."
And once again, she turned, this time, a small knapsack in her arms, and offered him a timid smile, "Sometimes, Two-bit, sometimes is the best word there could possibly be."
End
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