"I want that boy and I want him now!"
"But, sir...he's nothing special." Once-ler's secretary mumbled as they both looked out of a window on the top floor, watching as many protestors cursed and held up signs, chanting something or other about work conditions. Oh, peasants...but there was one (particularly normal looking, Once-ler added) woman with her son. And that son was the most beautiful boy he had ever laid his greedy eyes on.
"Listen!" Once-ler grabbed the secretary by her arm, holding it much too tight as he glared down at her, his blue sunglasses slipping down his nose a little. "I get what I want. There isn't anything in this world that shouldn't be mine. And I want that boy." He pushed her down, walking back to his office. "Get me all the information you can."
"Y-yes, Mr. Once-ler, sir..." she sniffed, holding back tears as she scrambled back up and to her desk to make some phone calls.
He sat down in his huge office chair, humming gently and tapping his fingers on the expensive top of his desk. This was taking much too long...
And the minutes ticked by, slower than they ever had before, slower than he even ever imagined possible. So perhaps he should take some action. Ignoring his dumb secretary as he walked out of his office, he took the elevator down to the ground level and stepped out, walking in to the sea of angry people.
What should have happened was everyone going completely silent: the chanting stopped, the signs lowered. Well, almost everyone complied, except a small group near the front, the mother and her boy, who only shouted louder and louder.
His ignorance was almost admirable, thought Once-ler.
"Hello, my dear citizens of Thneedville," he bowed, "I have heard your cries and understand that you are upset about the layoffs. However, business is business. And I am a business man, after all, and I-"
"You're no business man! You're just a greedy, lying sleezebag!" the boy shouted. And Once-ler only smiled and beckoned him and his mother.
Then it was silent.
Then you could hear a pin drop.
"Come with me." He said, a bit annoyed, once they weren't moving.
The boy's mother looked at him, a look of fear quickly turning to rage as she stomped forward. Ted followed, hiding his fear as best as he could (but it was hard...).
He took them up to the top level of the building, humming happily to the elevator music and enjoying the sight of his reflection in the glass, and then to his office, once more, ignoring the secretary.
"Have a seat." He motioned to some small, uncomfortable looking chairs.
"I don't want to!" The boy growled. "You're terrible!"
Once-ler sighed, taking a seat in his big chair and pulling his guitar up in to his lap, strumming lazily, as he looked at him from the top of his sunglasses and continued like he had never even spoke, "I'd like to offer both of you positions here at Corporate."
The brown-haired teen went silent, looking up at his mother, who looked lost for words.
There was some silence, then he spoke up, "What do you mean 'both'? I don't even think I'm old enough to get a job!"
"I don't care. If you want your mother to have a job," he looked down at his guitar, playing a scale, "you have to be my personal assistant."
"No way!"
"Ted..." his mother squeezed his hands and the boy realized he had no choice.
Was this really what God had in store for him? To work for a rich dirtbag who didn't give a crap about anyone but himself? At fifteen years old, no less?
But he had to take it. He had to take this job. Because he loved his mother and he knew being a single parent was hard enough.
So he sighed, putting his hands in his back pockets and looked from his mother to the scum sitting at the desk. "Fine."
Once-ler stopped plucking the strings, smiling. "Great. You start tomorrow. What's your name, kid?"
"Wiggins. Ted Wiggins."
"So what do I do exactly?" Ted grumbled, staring at the man from across the room.
"You do what I say whenever I want."
"Are you going to explain why you want me to be your personal assistant?"
"I don't need to explain myself, kid."
"Well, yeah, you do!" He stood up from his chair.
Once-ler didn't even look up from his paperwork. And that annoyed Ted to no length, so he stomped forward and slammed his palms on his desk. He still didn't look up, dammit all...
"I just wanted some company."
"What do you know about having company? You're a totally conceited jerk!"
Once-ler sighed, moving on to the next document. "I'm not as bad as you might think."
"Well that's the kind of image you're putting out there! With your dumb designer shoes and fancy sunglasses and ridiculous hat!"
Then he paused, looking up, pulling off his sunglasses. "You don't like them?"
"No! And you know what I really don't like? THNEEDS!" And he made sure to spit good on his desk when he said it.
Once-ler let out a gasp, hands going up to his mouth, eyes wide. And Ted almost screamed at the man's stupidity. What was he, five?
"What are you, five?!" he cried.
"I just...I can't..." Once-ler stared up at him, jaw trembling a little.
Ted rolled his eyes. This couldn't be happening..."What, do you have like, two personalities or something? This is insane!"
The man looked down at his desk, exaggerating a loud sniff as he pulled a drawer open, pulling out a Thneed and thrusting it at him. He caught it with surprise.
"I'm not going to wear this or use it or anything."
"Please?"
"No!"
"Please?"
"No way!" he shook his head and jumped back a little when he looked up, to see Once-ler crawling across the desk at an alarming rate, now suddenly in front of him, his eyes big and watery as he pushed his bottom lip out. "Pleeeease?"
Twenty-nine year old entrepreneur genius my ass, Ted thought, backing away.
"Just give it a try. I promise you, everybody needs a Thneed."
"Heck to the no." The boy threw it aside, making a face. "I don't need that kind of garbage. Especially when it's ruining the environment."
Once-ler sat on the desk, his legs dangling off it as he pouted at Ted, now holding his cheek in his hand, looking very hurt.
"You're weirder than I thought."
"Is that a good thing?" he asked hopefully.
Ted shifted uncomfortably, not sure of how to answer.
Slipping off the desktop, he grabbed his guitar, wrapping it around his shoulder and started to strum. "I've never met anyone who hasn't had a need. A need for a Thneed! And I can't believe you don't want it, Ted, but I think you better take it 'cause you might end up dead. And I don't want you to be, so pleeeeeeease: Take my Thneed?"
"You're singing? Are you serious right now?" Ted cried, backing away even more, only to fall in to one of his spacious lounge chairs that was uncomfortably comfy.
"I've never met anyone who hated me. I never met anyone who didn't take stuff for free. You're so special, Ted, I knew it from the first glance. I didn't wanna miss my chance..."
"This is getting totally creepy." he mumbled, clinging to the arms of the chair as the man got on top of him, one knee in between his legs and the other outside his thigh.
"So how about we start a romance?" he finished his song, pecking the boy on the cheek.
Ted was stunned.