It was a crisp day in Canada, the birds were singing and the sun blazed its way across the morning sky. Mathew Williams bustled around his kitchen preparing pancake batter to make for when Gilbert came over. He had just mixed the flour in when there was a knock at the door.
Mathew looked at puzzled, "He is way too early, must be excited about the pancakes." He muttered to himself as he cleaned his hands and headed towards the door. With a sudden explosion the door however came off its hinges.
"What the hell!" Matthew screeched flattening himself against the wall. The door flew past, slamming into the wall. Matthew's reached into the hall closet hoping to grab the closest thing to a weapon he had. Just as his hand closed around the smooth wood something caught him by the throat, slamming him back against the wall. The blond dropped the hockey stick, which skittered away towards the front door, in favor for clawing the hand that encircled his neck.
The hold tightened as Matthew tried to pry off the fingers, but froze as his eyes met a similar purple, "Hallo there, friend."
"I-Ivan!" He coughed out. The Russian man's smile grew at his name, and moved closer, their noses nearly touching.
"I am upset with you my friend." The big man said, "You do not seem to know when to keep to yourself. Just like your dear brother."
"D-don't know what your- t-talking about!" he tried kicking out at the larger man, his thoughts racing to figure out what he was talking about. The bigger man showed no sign of feeling the pain from his attempts to free his hands.
"Oh but you do." The Russian man's eyes narrowed. "A computer program to give you a hint."
"Psiphon? But that was used in Iraq, not Russia." Matthew struggled out.
"It is used anywhere there was a 'censorship'. Unlike your country I like to keep a closer watch on my people and what they have access to." He flexed his hand allowing Matthew to get a breath in before he strengthened his hold.
"People should have the right to free speech, as long as it doesn't interfere with others' rights-" Matthew managed to choke out.
"Oh yes, your little charter, but look where that has gotten you. I hear that some schools refuse to play your national anthem. Your people are lazy they don't even consider protecting your country. They have everything, yet they waste it, rioting over tiny things to get attention. A country of ungrateful slobs only reviled by your idiotic brother. It sickens me."
Matthew dug his fingers into Ivan's hand as he desperately tried to get a hand hold on the inside of his fingers.
"We don't want to fight! We want the world to have peace-"
Ivan tightened his hand, cutting off the rest of his words. "What good will that be? Trying to achieve that which will only happen when everyone becomes one with me", Matthew squinted into Ivan's darkening face; his fingers were covered in his own blood from splitting nails and Ivan's blood from his scratching. "But I guess you won't be part of that."
"What the fuck!" The two turned. Gilbert stood in the door way grasping the hockey stick like a sword. "Let him go asshole."
The Russian man laughed, releasing his hold on Matthew. The blond dropped to the floor, his hand caressing his bruised neck. He watched, wide eyed, gasping air into his abused lungs, as Ivan approached Gilbert, "Don't." he rasped out. The other blond paid no heed, pulling a pipe from god knows where.
"Do you want to die little Prussia." He giggled "Oh, I guess I should say Gilbert now since you're not a nation." He stroked the pipe. "Where should I start?"
"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, or what the hell you're doing but no one insults Matthew or my awesome self." The tip of the hockey stick dipped as the albino shifted into a fighting stance.
"Stop!" Matthew pushed himself up on the wall, hand grasping his throat. "This is my house and no one is going to fight." He eyed Ivan. "Get out"
The big Russian smiled, "I don't think I will. I think I will teach this child a lesson, and to make to a point of what happens to those who defy my countries law or aid in defying them." His smile iced over, "apparently the lesson I taught him didn't quite… stick." Ivan let the pipe drag on the ground as he walked forward. Gilbert's stance faltered and he took a step to the backwards, raising the hockey stick. Ivan batted the hockey stick aside like a toy, bringing his pipe above his head, his eyes crazed.
A white fluffy ball fell from above, landing on Russia's pipe and consequently his head causing the larger blond to crumple to the ground. Matthew and Gilbert blinked at the polar bear that sat atop the Russian like the whip cream on a sundae.
"Holy shit." Neither could find the words to say at the sheer luck of what had just happened.
Matthew walked forward and patted Kumajiro on the head, "Good Kunamtata."
"Who?"
"I say he gets extra pancakes!" Gilbert proclaimed.
Matthew wrinkled his nose. "He doesn't eat pancakes."
"Then extra maple syrup. The real problem right now is, what are we going to do with him?" Gilbert said jerking his thumb at Russia.
Matthew's expression darkened and he smiled, "I think I have an idea. At least it lives up to some foreign sterotypes."
Russia groaned as he pushed himself up turned over. Cold wrapped around his body making it ache like a truck had hit him. He tried to remember what had happened when he opened his eyes and blinked.
The world was white. A blanket lying on the ground and a box sitting to the side was the only colour beside Ivan himself. Ivan crawled towards a tunnel like door in the side of what seemed to be an igloo. He crawled out and stood in the center of an endless sea of white. The sun desperately pushed its way through the overcast day.
Eyes wide and rage boiling Ivan slowly moved back into the igloo.
On top of the box lay a letter addressed in fancy script to him. Ivan tore open the seal and read the letter.
Dear Ivan,
I warned you that I didn't want to fight, so in order to have you think about your temper and how you acted I have placed you in the middle of one of my territories. Someone will be will be by to pick you up at nightfall. Have a good time and remember to reflect.
Sincerely Matthew Williams
P.S. I would eat sparingly and if you need water I suggest melting snow.
P.S.S. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH NIGHT DOSEN'T COME FOR ANOTHER FOUR MONTHS HAVE FUN FUCKER – From AWESOMENESS
NOTES: Psiphon was a proxy program developed by UoT to bypass government cencoring. I read an article in the metro (LEGITSOUCE AM I RITE) about it and this story popped into my head.