AN: Nothing belongs to me. I wish.
She's sitting alone at the bar and he feels compelled to join her. They are the brains behind this, after all, so what better to do than to be together, waiting for the grand finale of the scheme. The question of where Nate is crosses his mind, but he brushes it away as he stands beside her. He always wants to be beside her. The thought of Nate lingers though, and his words seem to echo in his mind until they become intolerable and he's on the fence about whether to tell her or not. This is no longer just about Chuck and Blair, and it's unfair for his best friend to have to put up with this game that he and Blair cannot seem to leave alone.
You're too late. He can't help but laugh at that irony. He's always too late where she's concerned. From kindergarten, where she was first smitten by his best friend, to trying to win her back after Tuscany, only to see her with that Lord Marcus. His realizations about his feelings about her are always just too late, and now she's done. And he should be too, but he's not. He can't be.
Even this is too late, as she starts talking, her voice almost begging him to tell the truth. He's going to, he wants to. It's time he mans up, so they can both move on, either together or apart. There's that doubt in his mind, because he knows that if they move on together, their breaking up will be disastrous, to both parties involved, to the Non-Judging Breakfast Club, but especially to her. It hurt her, he knew, when they decided to part ways months ago, but if they do so again, their friendship would be irreparable.
Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are. That convinces him. If there was ever anyone he wanted to be happy, it is her, and he says so, with as much conviction as he can possibly project into his voice. And he knows now that she'd be happier with Nate. Their relationship is a simple and steady one, and what Blair Waldorf has always wanted. Nate is her knight in shining armour, not him. The best he can do to save her is to save her from himself, from the inevitable trainwreck that would be their relationship.
Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real. Or if it's just a game. Blair is the only girl he's let close enough to know his soul, to know him inside and out. There has never been anything more real to him in his life, but he can't tell her because as much as she wants to figure it out, they won't be able to. He wants her, but Nate wants her and Nate is his best friend who he just got back. And Blair…he loves her, he really does, but is love enough to get them through the complication that is Chuck and Blair?
The tear that falls from her eye undoes him. It reminds him of that time, months earlier, where that happened, when he told her that they couldn't be together. He is done hurting her. Nate may not be the guy for her (how could he be when Chuck is?) but he's the best guy for her.
So, with his heart breaking, he says the words that he knows will break her too. It's just a game. And it's in whisper, because there's no need for the volume. His point is clear, to her at least. That's all she sees. If he says it any louder, his voice will break and she will be able to see through his act. For now, it's too difficult for her to see past his calm exterior, to see what he's begging to say and that he wants her to understand. She can't, of course, so he dismisses her, almost callously. You're free to go now. It's more that he needs her to go, before his façade comes crumbling down on him and she sees what's really going on. He's fortunate, as the words do their job and she flees the scene, barely noticing her best friend.
The slender blonde knows better than her brunette counterpart. She knows both of them and sees what they cannot through their own feelings. Why did you just do that? Inside, she knows, but she needs him to say it out loud, needs him to understand what he has done.
So he steels himself to voice aloud what everyone's always known but what he's only admitted once before, a year ago to his own best friend. He still means them, and he knows he always will. Because I love her. It's because of this that he's letting her go. It's time to let her go before she is even more hurt, before he screws her up even more. And I can't make her happy. He truly believes that, and it's that sincerity that stops him from running back to her and sets aside his feelings for her. It is this thought that will be on repeat in his mind whenever he sees them together.
Because he wants her to be happy and if he must set aside his own happiness, he'll do it. Because he loves her.
AN: So, this is my first Gossip Girl fanfic. Sorry if it's not that great, I had to type it up to get it out of my head to do my homework. Anyways, please let me know what you think by reviewing, or messaging me. Thank you!
` Kimmy