- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:38 -
GG: hey dave!
TG: oh
TG: hey harley
TG: whats cracking there in anti-civilization island
GG: its alright i guess
GG: but... but wait!
GG: its not like i choose to be isolated or anything!
GG: i mean yes its peaceful since its just me and bec
GG: but it gets really lonely sometimes
TG: whoah there
TG: didnt mean to rustle your jimmies or anything
GG: ._.
TG: sorry
GG: its okay
GG: i just really wish i could be around people too
GG: i know that rose lives in the middle of a forest but at least theres probably a town by her! theres no one around here in at least a 100 mile radius :(
TG: thats actually pretty unfortunate
TG: i mean sometimes bitches are all up in my dick and shit but im still that awesome guy that runs a blog
TG: people be lookin at me lasciviously as i stride down the street
GG: hehe well yes, you are quite the cool kid dave!
GG: your coolness even reaches my island in the middle of nowhere!
TG: fuck yea it does
TG: jade harley acquainted with the bigman himself
TG: just for that you should be put in the fuckin newspaper
TG: everyone would be spending cash to hop on a plane and then you wouldnt be lonely
GG: well actually that would be nice...
TG: wait
TG: oh shit am i depressing you again
TG: the bigman apologizes
GG: no dave its fine! i guess im more lonely than i thought
GG: bec takes care of me pretty well but i wish i could get off this stupid island sometimes and see the world
GG: or maybe just you and john and rose but i dont know how i would do that :T
TG: hm
TG: well uh
TG: heres a thought
TG: you should call up a plane company or something and ask if they could fly you off to the mainland
TG: and then maybe you could see me because in seattle it rains a lot and upstate new york is balls cold and redneck territory
TG: its dry here but texas is probably kinda close to your islands weather
TG: weather buddies gotta stick together woop woop
GG: plus you are the coolest of the cool o:
TG: fuck yea i am
TG: but seriously harley itd be pretty sick if you came here
TG: bro would let you take the futon hes chill like that
TG: the smuppets might be a problem but it could be easily fixed
TG: and we could take shitty polaroid photography with each other itd be hipster and thus ironic
GG: o: wow that sounds so great!
GG: you have the best ideas, dave! i really should arrange that!
GG: hmmm i wonder though, what if the cool mr. strider actually has an ulterior motive to me visiting him?
TG: ...
TG: welp
GG: ...
TG: ...
GG: ...dave do you have another reason on why you want me to go texas?
TG: nope its purely because of the weather
TG: definitely youd be used to it so then you wouldnt flip a shit or get hypothermia or something from all that goddamned precipitation where the others live
GG: oh... well im glad that youre concerned for my well being!
GG: but seriously, is there?
GG: hm?
TG: ...
TG: uh
TG: well
TG: theres this restaurant or something known for its "real texan cuisine" whatever the fuck that is
TG: really just some ribs or brisket or some shit deep fried in style
TG: and bro said that i should take you there since you probably just eat shit like leaves and bugs over there
GG: yes i totally eat leaves and catch insects with my tongue, thats my daily meal!
TG: see hes right
GG: _ are you sure that this was all bros idea?
TG: okay i mightve asked him where a good place to get some grub would be with a friend
TG: but i couldve asked for john or rose or even someone from school
TG: so yea youre not that special
GG: psh, i am so special!
TG: maybe special ed
GG: D:
TG: jk youre too smart for that
TG: well versed in the science of nuclear physics
GG: yes mister you better correct yourself!
GG: but that doesnt mean im letting you off easy! im still skeptical!
GG: because lets say you were lying to me
TG: well what if i was lying to you
GG: if you were then youd be a big fuckass, dave! but since youre not i guess i can say this
GG: if i do go there then itll just be a friendly visit and nothing more!
TG: ...
TG: and why would that be?
GG: i dont have to explain myself because im just going there to see you, my friend!
TG: whoah im just curious thats all
TG: come on harley fuel the stridermeister
TG: curiosity didnt kill roses cat that cats been dead for a shitlong time
GG: meehh :I why should i? friendly purposes after all!
GG: FRIENDS!
TG: still though
GG: uck okay fine
GG: but this is because youre begging!
TG: oh yeah im totally on my knees as i type this to you on my computer
TG: "jade jade please tell me your reasoning"
TG: "i must know if i dont know then im going to cry into the wee hours of the night wondering what went wrong"
GG: psh there will be none of that! :P
GG: but um... okay
GG: lets say that hypothetically you... liked me or something
GG: which is extremely unlikely!
TG: deff
GG: yeah... um... it just wouldnt work out between us! :B
TG: and why not
GG: why are you asking?
TG: like i said im curious
TG: im the interrogater detective dude and you have presented me with a case that i must solve
TG: complete with me dressed up in a huge corduroy jacket and smokin a pipe
GG: hm... would that be ironic?
TG: yea
TG: and funny as hell
GG: :D
TG: so anyway
TG: uh
TG: why wouldnt it work out between us?
GG: well... if you did like me
TG: which i dont
GG: yeah which you dont... idk! i really like you as a friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that plus itd be really awkward if we broke up
GG: i wouldnt want us to drift away! :(
TG: true but youre just talking about if we broke up
TG: what if we did go out and we yknow lasted
TG: all the bitches want d-strider after all
TG: youd be the lucky girl to have me
GG: definitely! mr cool guy! :P
TG: fuck yea
GG: hm... um... well... were honestly pretty different in interests
TG: well yea true but were still friends
TG: were having a perfectly decent conversation right now thats driven by the both of us mutually and you didnt even fall asleep yet
TG: im obviously not too boring or hipster for you
GG: hehe true
GG: but there are other reasons why we wouldnt work out! i just kinda cant think of anything right now
TG: wow way to argue your point
GG: hey!
TG: seriously though
GG: :T
GG: well fine then mr meanie pants! then here's another one!
TG: spill
GG: this sounds kind of stupid but also our favorite colors contrast!
TG: ...
TG: wait am i hearing this right
TG: are you messing with me
GG: no, i am totally serious mr cool kid!
TG: fjekfkjwerihg
TG: youre sure youre not shitting me
GG: i am not shitting you, dave!
TG: okay
GG: seriously! green and red are the total opposites of each other
TG: so youre actually saying that because red and green dont look good together, we wouldnt be good together
GG: are you judging me? D:
TG: yes
TG: harley have you ever heard of this holiday
TG: its called christmas
GG: ...yes but thats different!
GG: thats tradition!
TG: how is that any different
GG: IT JUST IS OKAY? D:
TG: right sure
TG: i take back you not being special ed
GG: ._.
TG: honestly though thats one of the dumbest things ive ever heard
TG: when christmas comes everyones happy even with the shitty color mash up
GG: true...
TG: so if we were together wouldnt that make us happy too
GG: ...dave what are you getting at
TG: im just putting that out there
GG: well a cool kid like you is bound to sweep some lady off their feet and get them to totes fall for you!
GG: down the stairs of course
TG: but i warned them about the stairs
TG: tragic
GG: :p
TG: so since im obviously the awesomest person ever would you fall for me too?
TG: dont worry id catch you if you fell down a flight of stairs
TG: gallant knight up here to catch a damsel in distress
GG: psh i wouldnt fall down the stairs! because you already warned me!
GG: but um... idk! why are you asking me this?
GG: all hypothetical right?
TG: obviously
GG: for some reason i just really dont know if it would work out
GG: im sorry dave! :X even though youre just asking because youre curious
TG: well yea i am curious
TG: but jade you gotta live a little
TG: you wanna travel the whole and all that cool shit even though youre probably going to become something boring like a scientist
GG: ._.
TG: why not go out with me
TG: come on harley you only live once
GG: ...im beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable :T
TG: dw still not being serious
TG: but just saying
TG: you know how rose met that girl and got in total lesbians with her?
GG: you mean kanaya?
TG: sure
GG: yeah! theyre really cute together :) im so happy for her!
GG: she actually makes rose... smile! O:
TG: holy shit
TG: thats quite the hard feat to accomplish she deserves a fuckin medal congratulations youre able to get the sarcastic bitch to get her mouth to move in an upwards fashion
TG: all the points to you
GG: hehe yeah... although rose isnt a bitch!
TG: yea ok sure
GG: but whats the point of mentioning her? o:
TG: right
TG: word is on the block that she types in jade text
TG: not you but in that green color
TG: and roses favorite color is purple
TG: theyve been seeing each other for what like five months
GG: half a year actually!
TG: well exactly
TG: so uh theyre doing pretty well
TG: if the two who make fucking barney (aka the pedophile who got arrested for drug use) with their favorite colors are working out then why not christmas
TG: were not a creepy as fuck dinosaur were a fuckin holiday with good cheer
TG: hark the harold angels sing
TG: presents galore and fruitcake that egberts father probably bakes too much of every year
TG: all those shebangs
GG: ...:T
GG: well i guess you do have a point!
TG: yea
TG: so uh
TG: would you be terribly opposed to visiting texas and going to try some of that delirious biznasty soon
TG: bro thinks that if we do we should go alone because he wouldnt want to deal with two rambitious teenagers
GG: well we would obviously cause tons of trouble :P
TG: no shit
TG: wed be fuckin up mad hoes with the big guns
GG: i dont think itd be socially acceptable if i brought my rifle with me everywhere in texas, even if i was taught to never leave without it! :T
TG: jade its the fuckin south
TG: everyone has a gun the strider household just prefers swords thats all
GG: because youre too cool for guns?
TG: nah swords are just our thing you know
GG: okay thy gallant warrior o:
GG: ...so um dave
GG: a date huh?
TG: uh
TG: well yea i mean i guess
TG: if thats okay with you miss i hate christmas
GG: i dont hate christmas!
TG: sure you dont
GG: hehe well i think im going to call the airline company right away!
GG: i cant wait to try some of this texan food stuff!
GG: seeing you would just be an added bonus i guess :P
TG: oh how you wound me so
GG: :D
GG: so before i sign off mr cool kid
GG: ...you like me?
TG: curiosity killed the cat jade
GG: ...
GG: ...
GG: ...dave! D:
TG: heh
GG: ._. well im just going to go call now lol
GG: then i guess ill talk to you later! :)
GG: 3
- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:55 -
TG: jeez harley you and egbert put the derp in derpy
TG: wow that was pretty bad even for me
TG: ...
TG: 3
- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 19:57 -
ack ive never actually written in this format or really anything for homestuck except some of this nifty couple with some otp feels that was strictly for the eyes of myself. :T also au-ish? i hope i kept them in character and that you enjoyed, and it'd be great if you could leave a review!