A/N: This is my first RENT fic on the site...lol...so be KIND! I'm an obsessed RENThead, so...deal with it...All my friends are obsessed with Twilight and I HATE it (sorry to all you fans...) so I wrote this for them and to celebrate (on their part) the opening of New Moon. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:
Me: *Clears throat* Hello. I'm iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12. And on today's segment I shall go on about how I don't own RENT. i don't own it...I'm obsessed with it...if I did own it Anthony Rapp would be my bestest buddy and Idina Menzel would give me vocal training. Thank you and have a good night.

Roger sat on the couch in their loft playing with Barbie dolls that looked like his friends. He was now in the middle of a Roger/Mimi/Benny fight. The Mimi doll and the Benny doll were now kissing while the Roger doll screamed, "BENNY SPITS ON PUPPIES!" Mimi doll got angry and slapped Benny doll. Then Maureen doll came in a trampled his face into the ground, while Mark doll, Joanne doll, Collins doll, and Angel doll watched. Real Roger began laughing maniacally and he looked up to find the Bohemians all staring at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I DON'T SPIT ON PUPPIES!" Benny shouted.

"Why are you even here? We hate you!"

Suddenly Maureen began jumping up and down. "What's her problem?" Roger asked.

"You know, after all these years, I just tend to go with it…" Mark said sarcastically.

"I GOT THE NEW TWILIGHT DVD!" All the girls in the room, including Angel, squealed and pushed Roger off the couch and put the DVD in. "Ooh, sorry Roger!" Angel said in her sweet voice.

"That's ok. I know how you girls are with your Twilight."

"SHHHHHHH!" Mimi shouted as the film began. All the guys stood behind them watching an odd voice-over of a deer running and a girl talking about death. "Wow. That is poor cinematic-"

"SHHHHHHHH!" About fifty more minutes into the film, the girls were whispering to each other. "Edward is SOOOO dreamy…" Mimi said, watching her man carefully on the screen.

"Uh, no. Jacob is." Angel said.

"Ooooh, chica, where have you been? Twilight wouldn't be Twilight without Edward."

"Yeah, but Jacob is a major plot point." Mimi smiled slyly and said, "Edward is musically talented."

"Jacob is ripped."

"Damn…that's a good one."

"SHHHHHHHH!" Maureen whispered loudly. "I'm watching Carlisle be a dreamy doctor!"

"Eeew, you like Carlisle?" Joanne said. "My favorite is Jasper."

"He fought for slavery in the civil war, so I don't know why you'd like him…" Joanne defensively put her hands on her hips.

"What does that mean?"

"It means what you think it means!"

"Well, what I think it means is not what I want to think it means 'cause it means something that doesn't mean the thing I want it to mean!" Everyone stopped and stared at Joanne. "Awkward silence…" Roger said, happily.

"Yay! Another Mark was born!" Maureen shouted then Mark hit her with Roger's Barbie dolls. The girls continued to watch the movie while the guys sat and wondered why they liked it so much. "It's so stupid." Mark said, watching the vampires play baseball.

"I know. Vampires can't even be out in the sunlight." Collins said, racking his brain for memory of Dracula, which he read in 11th grade.

"Stephanie Meyer has defied the laws of vampires." Roger said, angry at the fact that Mimi was more in love with a fictional character than with her own boyfriend.

"I want Edward's hair." Benny said. They all stared at him.

"Me too…" they all chimed.

"I want Carlisle's wit." Collins said.

"I want Edward's musical talent." Roger said.

"I want Jacob's sexy body." Mark said, as everyone, even the girls, stared. "What?"

They all shuddered and turned back. And hour after it was over, all the guys fell on the floor, sleeping. "So…?" Maureen said loudly, waking them up.

"WHO'S READY FOR NEW MOON?"

The guys all groaned loudly, as their heads fell back upon the ground.

A/N: Haha...Tell me what you think! Poor Marky...Why must Maureen be so mean to him? lol....Reviews, anyone?