Author: Jana Salgueiro
Pairing: B/F
Disclaimer: The characthers belong to Joss Whedon, Alice in wonderland and
Thru the looking glass belong to Lewis Carrol.
Summary: Buffy finds herself traped in a crazy world, with talking roses
and lots of things that doesn't make any sense. Totally AU.
Note: The poem belongs to Drummond, it's a poem in portuguese, so if it's
more weird than the usual it's my fault for the bad translation.
Big thanks to David for doing the Beta reading thing.
Wonderland
Chapter One - Of Bunnies and Roses
Buffy saw herself laying under a big tree, in the middle of a vast camp with nothing else besides grass as far as her eye could see. "I wonder how I ended up being here?" Buffy said to herself.
Just then, she saw Anya dressed in a Bunny suit running around, her hands full of cash, and her pockets too.
"Anya" Buffy said "Where are you going? And what are you doing with this bunny suit, I always thought you hated bunnies".
"I'm lost in somebody else's mind, lost my track while on mine, and all I have left is this bunch of money, that I have nowhere to put" she said as if it was the most obvious thing.
"What on earth are you talking about Anya?" Buffy asked completely lost.
"I'm talking about this". She pointed to the big tree. "It's been standing here for over an hour, and it won't come down, how will the poor squirrels live!?" she asked desperately.
"I'm not the one to answer that, anyway, enough with the crazy talk, where am I? How do I get out of here?" Buffy asked.
"Obviously not by doing that my dear, you can't just ask questions and expect answers, we are all here, and it's your fault actually" she said pointing to Buffy accusingly.
"And how's that?" Buffy asked crossing her arms.
"We'll aren't you a cute girl, I'll tell you a poem and you figure it out by yourself, I'm almost running out of time, and money" she said as if Buffy was a little girl.
"If I let you tell me this poem, will you give me some answers?" Buffy asked tired of trying any form of communication with the ex-demon.
"Of course I will, why shouldn't I?".
"Maybe because you're crazy" Buffy murmured.
"Any way, the poem is named My disgrace -
My disgrace, no, it's not being a poet, Nor in the land of love not to have an echo, And my Angel from God, my planet Treat me the way a doll is treated...
Not to walk with broken elbows, To have a pillow that is hard as rock I know... the world is a lost swamp Whose sun (And I can only wish) is money...
My disgrace, Oh my pure lady, That makes me blaspheme with my breast, It is to have to write a poem, And to not have a twenty for a candle.
"There, I like the part with the Sun, there is money involved" Anya said smiling proudly.
"And how is that gonna help me to get out of here?" Buffy asked skeptically.
"It won't, it takes time, but if you are really desperate, just follow the path with the red roses" Anya said pointing to nothing but more grass.
"But there are no red roses...". Just then roses started to grow, all of them forming a path that followed all the way to the south.
"I should go now, the race is about to start, and I don't want to miss the tea afterwards." Anya said jumping to the other way.
"Okay, thanks, for you help" Buffy said following the path. She started following the path, and after a while stopped to rest.
"Wow, I never thought I had to walk so much" she looked over her shoulder to see how far she had gone, only to realize she never even moved, the big tree was still there, but Anya was nowhere to be found. "What!? That's really annoying, I walked for hours, how come I never left the same spot?" Buffy asked herself, annoyed.
"You went the wrong way" Buffy heard a little voice say.
"Who's there?" she asked seeing no one,
"We are here" said one of the roses.
"Roses can talk?" Buffy asked, giving a little nervous laugh.
"If you can, why shouldn't we?" The rose asked back indignated
"Be... because I'm human".
"No you're not, you're a Slayer, but let's leave this for a more important day, today is Tuesday, it's all about the dumb questions and stupid remarks" the rose said.
"That doesn't make any sense" Buffy said sitting for a bit on the floor, she was tired after all that walking.
"You seem to be doing very well for a first timer, but please, do tell us child, are you lost?" asked the rose behind her.
"First of all, I'm not a child, and yes, I'm lost, I was supposed to follow this path of roses, but I can't seem to leave the same spot" she said nervously.
"My darling, that's because you're going the wrong way" the rose said matter-of-factly.
"But the other way doesn't have any roses" Buffy said pointing to the other way.
"If we were to show you the way, we wouldn't do it so easy my dear, you have to go in the opposite direction, and then we will show you the way you've passed" the higher rose told her.
"So you're saying, that all I need to do is to follow in the opposite direction of the roses, that you'll just start growing on the way I've been, but not showing me the way at all?" Buffy asked confused.
"That's right" four roses said in unison. "But you should start walking, you wouldn't like to get to the end of the path after the cheese is gone".
"I will" Buffy said, wondering how in hell she ended up in this crazy place.
As Buffy started to walk, some flowers screamed in unison "We are right behind you, don't look back".
And Buffy kept walking, to an unseen path followed by talking roses, hoping to find a way out of this crazy place. "Nothing here makes sense" Buffy said to herself, heading south.
TBC
Wonderland
Chapter One - Of Bunnies and Roses
Buffy saw herself laying under a big tree, in the middle of a vast camp with nothing else besides grass as far as her eye could see. "I wonder how I ended up being here?" Buffy said to herself.
Just then, she saw Anya dressed in a Bunny suit running around, her hands full of cash, and her pockets too.
"Anya" Buffy said "Where are you going? And what are you doing with this bunny suit, I always thought you hated bunnies".
"I'm lost in somebody else's mind, lost my track while on mine, and all I have left is this bunch of money, that I have nowhere to put" she said as if it was the most obvious thing.
"What on earth are you talking about Anya?" Buffy asked completely lost.
"I'm talking about this". She pointed to the big tree. "It's been standing here for over an hour, and it won't come down, how will the poor squirrels live!?" she asked desperately.
"I'm not the one to answer that, anyway, enough with the crazy talk, where am I? How do I get out of here?" Buffy asked.
"Obviously not by doing that my dear, you can't just ask questions and expect answers, we are all here, and it's your fault actually" she said pointing to Buffy accusingly.
"And how's that?" Buffy asked crossing her arms.
"We'll aren't you a cute girl, I'll tell you a poem and you figure it out by yourself, I'm almost running out of time, and money" she said as if Buffy was a little girl.
"If I let you tell me this poem, will you give me some answers?" Buffy asked tired of trying any form of communication with the ex-demon.
"Of course I will, why shouldn't I?".
"Maybe because you're crazy" Buffy murmured.
"Any way, the poem is named My disgrace -
My disgrace, no, it's not being a poet, Nor in the land of love not to have an echo, And my Angel from God, my planet Treat me the way a doll is treated...
Not to walk with broken elbows, To have a pillow that is hard as rock I know... the world is a lost swamp Whose sun (And I can only wish) is money...
My disgrace, Oh my pure lady, That makes me blaspheme with my breast, It is to have to write a poem, And to not have a twenty for a candle.
"There, I like the part with the Sun, there is money involved" Anya said smiling proudly.
"And how is that gonna help me to get out of here?" Buffy asked skeptically.
"It won't, it takes time, but if you are really desperate, just follow the path with the red roses" Anya said pointing to nothing but more grass.
"But there are no red roses...". Just then roses started to grow, all of them forming a path that followed all the way to the south.
"I should go now, the race is about to start, and I don't want to miss the tea afterwards." Anya said jumping to the other way.
"Okay, thanks, for you help" Buffy said following the path. She started following the path, and after a while stopped to rest.
"Wow, I never thought I had to walk so much" she looked over her shoulder to see how far she had gone, only to realize she never even moved, the big tree was still there, but Anya was nowhere to be found. "What!? That's really annoying, I walked for hours, how come I never left the same spot?" Buffy asked herself, annoyed.
"You went the wrong way" Buffy heard a little voice say.
"Who's there?" she asked seeing no one,
"We are here" said one of the roses.
"Roses can talk?" Buffy asked, giving a little nervous laugh.
"If you can, why shouldn't we?" The rose asked back indignated
"Be... because I'm human".
"No you're not, you're a Slayer, but let's leave this for a more important day, today is Tuesday, it's all about the dumb questions and stupid remarks" the rose said.
"That doesn't make any sense" Buffy said sitting for a bit on the floor, she was tired after all that walking.
"You seem to be doing very well for a first timer, but please, do tell us child, are you lost?" asked the rose behind her.
"First of all, I'm not a child, and yes, I'm lost, I was supposed to follow this path of roses, but I can't seem to leave the same spot" she said nervously.
"My darling, that's because you're going the wrong way" the rose said matter-of-factly.
"But the other way doesn't have any roses" Buffy said pointing to the other way.
"If we were to show you the way, we wouldn't do it so easy my dear, you have to go in the opposite direction, and then we will show you the way you've passed" the higher rose told her.
"So you're saying, that all I need to do is to follow in the opposite direction of the roses, that you'll just start growing on the way I've been, but not showing me the way at all?" Buffy asked confused.
"That's right" four roses said in unison. "But you should start walking, you wouldn't like to get to the end of the path after the cheese is gone".
"I will" Buffy said, wondering how in hell she ended up in this crazy place.
As Buffy started to walk, some flowers screamed in unison "We are right behind you, don't look back".
And Buffy kept walking, to an unseen path followed by talking roses, hoping to find a way out of this crazy place. "Nothing here makes sense" Buffy said to herself, heading south.
TBC