Artemis hopped off the bus a stop early as she was coming home from advanced nuclear calculus. The fresh night air made it easier for her to think and collect her thoughts after the toughest class on her roster. She enjoyed taking the bus to school much more than she had driving there. Artemis was obligated to ride with Wally until he totaled the car, but now she could do as she pleased. She shook her head and laughed at the memory.
Wally had arrived at home one day on foot when he had gone to pick up Chinese food. That night he had run them to Gotham to meet with Dick at his favorite Chinese restaurant in China Town. This had become a semi-monthly tradition for the trio, adding Babs when she joined the team. He walked through the door with no food and no car keys. Artemis got every little bit of information out of him in an instant. Wally had been driving to the White Lotus restaurant seventy miles over the speed limit and had gotten a fine. Bruce had paid for the pair's college, room, and board; however it was doubtful that he would pay for this. Artemis had prepared to give the man the telling off of his life; but she stopped when she saw the look on his face. He looked like Dog when he was hungry. She asked him what was wrong, and if it was the car or the money. Wally just shook his head and said that no, it wasn't the car or the money, it was the Chinese food. He couldn't carry it all back to their house.
Artemis arrived at home and unlocked the door, only to be met with the static laden strains of jazz music coming out of an old victrola sitting on the coffee table. Wally was nowhere to be seen, but Dog was under the kitchen table gnawing on what looked to be a whole turkey carcass. She sighed, wrestled the bones away from the mutt, and threw them in the trash. Wally really needed to stop giving their pet his scraps.
After she was done in the kitchen, Artemis went back over to the victrola and cocked her head. Since when had they owned a record player? She removed the needle and went to close the box, but was stopped by a hand at her hip. She jumped and aimed an elbow behind her, striking air. She spun around, saw nothing, spun around again, and saw Wally setting the old machine back up to play the record again.
"Since when have we owned a record player?" asked Artemis. "And I wish that you would stop doing that! How many times have I elbowed you in the stomach because you want to be 'stealthy?' The last I recall, it was approaching fifteen. "
Wally stood when he finished starting up the player and offered his hand to Artemis. She took it, not knowing that she would be pulled into a hug that quickly turned into a waltz. She was mildly surprised, but put her head down on Wally's shoulder anyways and whispered in his ear, "What's this about, Baywatch?"
Wally pulled back a bit and looked surprised, "Babe, he's my favorite."
"Who?" Artemis asked, looking around the room a bit. Dog was now under the coffee table, his tail lazily thumping to the tempo of the music.
"Django Reinhardt!" Wally said enthusiastically, spinning Artemis. She overcompensated to the change in her center of gravity and went careening into her partner, causing them to both topple to the floor. The song continued to play without a care in the world, like a little girl playing in her made up fantasy land.
A fit of giggles and a bit of wrestling later, Artemis rolled off of top of Wally and nestled herself into the crook of his arm and they listened to the song together. After a while, Artemis spoke. "What's it called?"
Wally 'hmmed' at her, burying his nose in her hair and trying to pull her closer to him. Artemis clarified, "What's the song called?"
"Oh," Wally said, perking up a bit, "it's called La Mer. It means—"
"The sea…" Artemis said distantly. Wally laughed, "of course, I have an awesome girlfriend who speaks six different languages."
Artemis nudged him playfully. "Only three, Kid Overcompensation," she said. Wally dodged and laughed, succeeding in pulling her on top of him and capturing her mouth with his. She melted into him and let him roll them over so that Wally was on top. He pulled up and started looking at her clothes to figure out how her attire would come off without ripping, as he didn't want a repeat of THAT incident.
Artemis' back slammed against the door to the house. It hurt a bit, but the pleasure that followed was worth the pain of impact. Wally had her pinned to the door and was kissing her hard. Not to be outdone, Artemis responded forcefully, biting down on Wally's lower lip. He tugged himself, moving down her jaw to her throat and to where her spine met her skull. There he lingered, at first kissing her softly, but soon becoming more aggressive, biting and sucking, making sure that Artemis would have a mark.
Artemis shoved Wally off, turned, and unlocked the door. Before she could take a step, Wally picked her up bridal style and carried her through the living room and into their bedroom. When he set her down, Artemis immediately grabbed the hem of Wally's turtle neck, pulled it over his head, and tossed it aside. Her nails scratched against his chest as his hands roamed over her body, looking for the bits of metal or plastic holding the dress to Artemis' body. Wally finally found the zip at the side of the dress and pulled it down quickly. Artemis' eyes flew open as she heard thread rip and looked to her side to see a gaping hole in her dress.
"Wallace!" she shouted, jumping back. She turned away from Wally and slipped the dress over her head to examine the tear. She threw the dress on the bed, giving up on diagnosing the damage to the garment.
"Oh. Sorry, Babe," he said, glancing at the ruined dress on the bed. "No harm, no foul?"
Artemis turned to face him slowly. "No harm, no foul?" Artemis said, her voice rising. "Wally, my mother gave me that dress for my twenty-first birthday… my mother who died six months ago!"
Wally's grin dropped off his face. "Oh, babe. I'm sorry, I—" he started to say, but was cut short by a pillow hitting his face. The soft projectile was followed closely by a quilt and a pair of boxers. Wally heard the bathroom door slam and pulled the quilt off his head. He collected everything that had been thrown at him and walked dejectedly back through the bedroom door into the living room and started to make up the couch bed.
Wally had gotten through half of the buttons on Artemis' dress before he realized it was a dress. He paused for a moment and the brief lapse of hands at her chest gave Artemis time to wriggle out from under her boyfriend and go to the kitchen to start getting things out of the cupboards for dinner. Wally hopped up from his surprised pushup position on the floor and looked at Artemis dejectedly. She put water on the stove to boil and buttoned up her dress while she waited for it, not acknowledging the disappointed speedster in the middle of the living room.
"Aw, c'mon, Babe!" Wally moaned, slouching into the kitchen. He came up to Artemis and put his hands on her hips, trying to kiss her again, but she twisted away from him, grabbing a spray bottle on top of the fridge and pointing at Wally. The man put his hands up at the sight of the cleaning instrument and slowly backed away.
"Make a decision, Wally. Sex or food?" Artemis challenged. Wally gave his girlfriend a once over and grinned, but his attention was grabbed by what Artemis had laid out on the counter for dinner; six meat lasagna. He flip-flopped the choices in his mind several times before finally coming to a decision.
"Food!" Wally said determinedly, flopping into a seat at the kitchen table. Artemis smiled and snorted; she knew all along that the speedster would choose to eat over having sex. She looked over at the pot on the stove and decided that it had a couple more minutes left and sat down in Wally's lap.
"I knew you'd choose food," she whispered in his ear and planted a kiss on his cheek. "But that's why I love you."
Wally smiled and turned his head so that Artemis' mouth met his own. He started to deepen the kiss, but Artemis smiled under his mouth. She laughed and got up to dump the pasta in the water. "Baywatch, you are quite the lover. Now go turn that music back up. It's nice and maybe you won't distract me as much."
"Aw, but, Artyyy!" Wally moaned. "You know you like it! Can't I have my cake and eat it to? And by eat, I mean—"
"Yes, Wally, I know what you mean," Artemis shook her head. "Now go do something else and leave me be," Artemis said. "I think you'll like what I'm preparing for dessert."