What Really Happened to Beauty and the Beast: A Dialogue Between Two Disney Characters

Beast: Oh Belle! Beautiful Belle! I am so horribly ugly!

Belle: You're not THAT ugly.

Beast: Yes I am, I am a monster!

Belle: I thought you turned back into a prince.

Beast: I told you, you needed glasses.

Belle: To turn back into a prince you needed to find true love. Wait, you NEVER loved me! I wonder if Gaston is still single.

Beast: I thought he died.

Belle: Well, after falling off the 100 ft castle into the 500 ft deep ditch he was only severely injured and crippled for life.

Beast: Oh, I see. So you're leaving now?

Belle: I guess so.

Beast: Wait! What about the time I saved you from the wolves?

Belle: So you do love me?

Beast: Eh...no.

Belle: I can't believe I wasn't shallow! I fell in love with you!

Beast: Don't sweat it, I'm still trying to figure out how you even opened the gate to the castle. I bolted it with three locks.

Belle: It just opened.

Beast: Well this is a fairytale.

Belle: Wait a minute. I've been thinking, if people in relationships are supposed to be honest, how come you didn't tell me you didn't love me?

Beast: Well if I didn't love you how could we be in a relationship?

Belle: Good point. Wait if you never turned back into a prince how did you survive when Gaston sliced you with his dagger?

Beast: Zany Brainy makes the most realistic toys, I'm telling you!

Belle: How come Gaston used a fake weapon?

Beast: Hey, it was a Disney movie!

Belle: I must head off now to find Gaston.

Beast: Hold up, how come you chose me over him in the first place?

Belle: I read in a book that a prince was turned into a beast, a handsome prince.

Beast: Wow! Sounds like my life exactly!

Belle: It was written by someone named B-E-A-S-T, whoever that is.

Beast: I wonder who that fellow is. You know I once wrote a story just like that!

Belle: Interesting. Well I must go now.

Beast: It's going to take a while to get over her. (two seconds later) Okay I'm over her.

THE END

a/n: this was something a friend and I came up with when we were in middle school and it never fails to make me laugh, so I thought I'd share it with all of you! Obviously its just dialogue, but I hope you'll agree that you don't really need anything else! -Aragwen