Well this is my first story, so I decided to associate it with my favorite paring ever. Richter/Emil. :) So how did this idea come to mind? Well, I don't know. So just bare with me. Please excuse any mistakes made in here. xD I'm a huge typo. I'm not the best writer...

Title: Madness

Genre: Humor/romance/friendship

Coupling: Richter/Emil

Rating: T: Suggestive themes, BL

Summary: Emil tries to teach Richter how to cook. May goddess Martel be with him in his perilous journey.

Yep. Its going to be fun. The events happen after the game, so just pretend that no one had to spend the rest of their live in the Gannungap. Yes, that means Ratatosk and Richter. Emmy-kins can't teach anyone how to cook unless his soul mate comes back from hell, and he needs his evil look alike around to harass him!

ALSO. Richter and Emil are already going to be...together! -squeee!- Yep. So what was their dramatic love story of realization? I don't know. Make one up. Or just read one of the other stories here. Also! They live in Luin! In Emil's house! No Aunt Flora or Uncle what's-his-face. They died in some freak accident, I guess. Richter killed them for beating Emil. Thats a freak enough accident for me. Maybe I'll do a crackfic about that. xD

So everyone else is trying to continue their lives, normally/semi-normally.

But before you read the prologue! Add my Live Journal. [click on web page link on profile] There you will be able to see my brain storming and suggest what food Emil and Richter try to cook next!

Now! On to the story!

"Richter!" A some what high pitched squeal called out through the darkness of the bed room. "Your such a bed hog!" The voice was now an annoyed moan. Of course there was no response from the lone occupant of the bed because like most people, he was sleeping, unlike Emil, who had woken up on the floor. Okay so it wasn't entirely Richter's fault. The bed was only meant for one person but Richter was the one with all the money, but becuase he was so cheep, a new bed was out of the question.

Emil stood up and brushed his silk, white with green polka dots pajamas off of any dirt that had latched on when he hit the floor. His green eyes wondered over to Richter, who was sleeping soundly in the center of the bed. If anyone could look drop dead serious(and gorgeous) and sleep at the same time then it was Richter, but he did seem more relaxed then when he was awake. Sometimes, even though it might endanger his life, Emil would wonder what would happen, if he braided the others long locks as he slept or just gently pinched his nose. A simple pay back for his sleep being interrupted to soon.

The blond sat on the edge of the bed and let his fingers run through the others fiery red hair. The braiding thing didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment....No, never mind. It seemed like a terrifying idea. The whole entire scene played through the younger ones mind. He would be enjoying himself in his fan girlish fantasy when all of the sudden, Richter would wake up. Then he would turn Emil in to a human pretzel, bury him in the backyard, and then go back to sleep. Well, maybe that was a dramatization. What would really happen is that Richter would wake up and give Emil that: What the hell are you doing look. Then Emil would make a cute pout at the older man, and apologize with a stutter and blush as he looked down pathetically. Then Richter would feel like a total ass for unknown reasons and then tell the other to forget about it and then go back to sleep. But then in the morning Richter would give him hell about it and ask him the most confusing questions that are impossible to understand because Emil is simple and naive and would just try to end everything with a hug.

But you see, Richter was like a rose. Absolutely stunning, but completely bad ass. Hug him, and you might get your eyes ripped, um, poked out. But Emil was like that brave...butterfly! Very skillful and knew exactly was to do with someone this prickly. Thinking about all the privileges he had being with Richter, Emil bent over and moved some of that red hair out of the others face. Wow, absolutely breathtaking. He had the most amazing skin, naturally tanned. A thing that most girls would kill for. Emil didn't even realize it but his own hand went to his own cheek. Oh, no. He wasn't jealous was he? No, not at all, even though the idea of making a natural mud face mask was running through his head!

What was he? A man or a dog! Um, wait. Wrong phrase. A Man or a Woman?! Oh no! What if he was becoming a transvestite? Uh oh. Emil looked around in a panic. Quickly! He needed to do something manly! Destination: Kitchen? Why not?

When he stepped onto the tiled floor, he jumped slightly at the coldness at his feet. Note to self: Don't forget bunny slippers on quest to manly hood....Wait, what? Forget that. He needed to eat something manly. He had a small stature, soft features, innocent personality, which made him look naturally feminine. Not a good thing. He needed a mans food. Food of his choice. Ice cream*. Now that he had his food, he grabbed a weapon of his choice. A gigantic spoon.

Next step. Personality change. Man, He was really good at pretending to be a jerk like Ratatosk, but he wanted that feeling! That feeling of manly bitchiness that just didn't come so naturally to him like a certain someone he knew and loved. What would put him in a foul mood? Well recently, Marta had told him of a radio show that really upset her. Why not give a go? He walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. He turned on old radio, that had belonged to his aunt. He never really was fond of the radio shows or music. Whatever. He turned the switch.

Mean while, Richter was waking up from his all very much unneeded beauty sleep. He sat up and stretched and observed his surroundings as if there was a chance of rabid fan girls being close by. Something felt different. Cold...Oh, wait. That's because he didn't have that extra mound of body heat latched onto him like he normally did when he woke up. Where was Emil anyway? Oh well, that didn't matter. He was probably in the kitchen, doing what he normally does. The red head stood up and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and began to strip off his grey striped pajamas, revealing his slim, but muscular body. [Oh yes, I'm going there.-blush-] He stepped into the shower and began the complicated process of washing his hair.

Shampoo. Rinse. Conditioner. Brush. Rinse. Brush some more. More conditioner. Rinse. Brush. Dry. Brush. Spray. Style. Spray.

As he washed, he heard a faint sound, coming through the wall from the kitchen. He sighed and told himself not to bother but after a few minutes he got a little annoyed and leaned against the cold surface of the shower. After some concentration he was finally able to hear voices and dramatic music through the loudness of the shower. He heard a violin and the sound of a woman's voice: "That was amazing!" Wait what? Did Emil invite some musical friends over or something? Was it a celebrity? But then he heard the sound of a man's voice, to manly to be Emil's. "Thank you!" This made him raise an eye brow. Okay, strange...

He turned off the shower and dried himself of before putting on the black robe that Emil had gotten him for his twenty second birthday. Not really the most preferable gift, but it was the thought that counted. He opened the door and coldness blasted through the frame quickly. He sighed, taking it all in and flipped his damp hair back behind his shoulders. But as soon as he took that first step through the door, his foot connected with something soft, and he ended up doing a face plant on to the floor. He sat up and sighed, trying his best not to use profanity, but letting a few 'damn it's' escape his lips. Fierce green eyes stared at what laid at the front of the bathroom door. The thing, or things, that had humiliated him in front of no one. His glare softened slightly. Pink bunny slippers. He rolled his eyes and stood up....well his feet were a little cold and making fun of Emil indirectly was always fun. He slipped them and was going to be quite honest with himself. " Ridiculous..." He said in the usual calm tone of his. But he couldn't help it. He was smirking in the inside.

But he had no reason to feel so ridiculous after what he saw in the kitchen.

He walked in and saw his lover at the table, eating a gallon of napoleon ice cream. Tears were in his eyes and on his face were the emotions of sadness and anger. The younger one let out a small sob, took a tissue, and dabbed it to his eyes. Richter's mouth dropped at this site. He really wanted to ask who died, but that wouldn't have been really appropriate. His hands drifted to the piece of fabric that held his robe together. He began to tighten it, giving himself something to do as he watched this little show.

"NO STELLA! STELLLLLLLLLLA!!!!!!!" A voice cried from the Radio.

Emil let out a choked sob and whimpered, "B-but Senel! What about Chloe? She loves you too!"

Another voice. This one was higher and instantly annoyed both of them. "NO STELLA, STELLA, DON'T GOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Emil's eyes narrowed and he almost hissed. "Shut up Shirley! Your the one getting in the way of Senel and Chloe's relationship!"

Then the broadcaster came on. "Next time on Tales of Legendia, Will Senel be able to move one after Stella's death, and if he does, who will he choose. What's going on between Walter and Fenimore, and why does Jay cut himself?! Tune in next week."

"Coming on next: Tales of the Abyss!"

"REPLICAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" This voice sounded violent and very angry.

Richter was becoming a little worried at this time. Was Emil listening to...soap operas**? Disturbing...He walked over to the younger boy and placed his hands on the others shoulders. In response, Emil jumped slightly, let out a small yelp, and dropped his spoon in to his ice cream.

"R-Richter...? Um, I-I..." He stammered, trying to think of a quick escape out of this situation. "uhhh..." He trailed off feeling the others lips against his ear. He felt the heat rise on his own face. He of all people knew that Richter could be undeniably kinky without even realizing it, like now. Emil could feel the damp hair brush against his neck, and he smelt so good. What was it...Strawberries? Oh! Was he finally using that shampoo he suggested? [ADHD moment.]

"If you keep eating like that..." Richter began, sounding completely unfazed. "You'll gain a lot of weight."

Emil gave a nervous smile and turned his head slightly so that he could see the others face. "Oh, thanks for the warning, I'll make sure to remember next time." He said this with no sarcasm at all, but Richter could tell that he was very annoyed with the hint.

Richter reached over Emil's shoulder, reaching for the radio. This of course alarmed Emil, so he grabbed Richter's hand right has it reached the dial. "H-hey, I'm listening that!" He said, pulling the others hand away from the radio. This made the redhead raise and eyebrow and stare at Emil with the smallest hint of curiosity.

"May I ask wh-"

"No."

He stared and then shrugged. "Suite yourself." He walked over to the other side of the small table and sat down. He observed Emil for a few minutes and suddenly felt this ping of annoyance in his head. Emil had all his attention on the radio....Not that he was jealous or anything. Really. Was this thing that fascinating that Emil could just ignore his attractive boyfriend sitting right in front of him. Really? He sat back in his chair and sighed. Then he realized something. He was hungry and at this time, Emil usually had breakfast ready. Richter looked around the kitchen. Well it was obvious that nothing was cooking.

"Emil, What's for breakfast?"

Emil didn't even look up from the radio. "Make it yourself." Not really the best thing to say. Of course it shocked Richter slightly, hearing such a bold response from someone like Emil. "Emil, have you forgotten something?" He asked, leaning forward to empathize how serious he was about this subject. For a moment it wouldn't have been over reacting if Richter accused Emil of trying to kill him so he could be with that damn radio.

Emil looked up from the radio and when seeing the look on his face, he remembered everything clearly.*** "O-Oh...Oh! Heh, I-I'm sorry! I forgot!" He said, now trying to nervously rubbing the back of his head.

Silence.

"REPLICAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Both of their eyes drifted to the radio. Richter sighed and looked at Emil, "Ugh, Please turn that off." He received a pleading look from Emil but ignored it. When Richter said please, it meant business. Emil let out a defeated sigh and shut it off.

"O-oh, yeah. okay..."

Silence.

"Richter...?"

"What is it?"

"I'm going to teach you how to cook, so I can have more time listen to the radio instead of slaving over a hot oven." Emil smiled.

"Really." Not a question, but a statement. "Well, I find this unnecessary but whatever you want to do is fine with me. Just don't blame me if we end up having to buy a new home."

That wiped that smile right off his face. 'O-Oh no. I hope we have fire extinguishers.'

*Ice cream; Comfort food for most women...

**Soap operas; You can see the irony in all of this can't you? Emil tries to be a man but he's doing it in all the wrong ways. Also, hes listening to soaps on the radio because I don't think they have Tvs in their world. Also, I hope you enjoyed the little tol/Tota references in there. I'm going to put so Tov in there soon. xD

***If you played the game and did the Richter Side quests then you'll get a skit. Richter tries to cook. When Emil tastes his food, he thinks hes going to die and starts talking nonsense, going into a mental brain block. Then Richter starts talking to himself becuase Emil is in lala land and he states that this was his first time cooking, ever.

Yep. I know it probably sucks. I tried to keep them IC but romance isnt really that easy when it comes to these people. xD but hey, I think I did an okay job. Review! And add my LJ to see my Idea on what will be the first dish made in this kitchen. :)