This is a little short story I decided to write because I was bored. Marriage counselling with Rachel and Tobias. Its supposed to be comedic, but who knows. I'll probably add a few more chapters to it soon.
"So, why don't we start with you Tobias, what brings you here."
"Well," Tobias said, shiftily, "I think we just need to sort of re-evaluate things, maybe there's something's I can work on, and I uh think there may be some things she can uh, work on."
"Oh well then," Rachel said sarcastically, "please enlighten me, what I've been doing so wrong."
"Now, now Rachel," the counselor cut in, making sure not to lean too close to Rachel, "Lets let Tobias tell us how he feels, you'll have your chance."
They were sitting in a small comfortable room, that seemed to have been modeled to look like a home study, even though they were on the thirtieth floor of a city office building. The walls were oak, and covered with degrees, various family photographs, a bookshelf. At the end furthest from the door there was a large oak desk, to the right of it was the classic therapists couch. Making a large triangle in the center of the room were three comfortable armchairs, evenly spaced apart.
In one chair sat a middle aged man, with a full, grey beard. He wore brown pants with a grey sweater vest, and sat cross-legged, propping up a notebook which he wrote in casually. To his right, sat a beautiful woman in her early twenties; tall, blonde, perfectly dressed and made up. Sitting, with a rigid glare on her face. To her right, sat a thirteen year old boy, average height, with dirty blonde hair, and a blank expression on his face. He was dressed like a teen Gap model, but with obvious imperfections, an un-tucked shirt, hair untidy, one belt loop missed. Every few minutes the woman would look at them and glare a bit more.
"Well," Tobias said, "I just want to start by saying that I love my wife, its just-"
"Your uh, your wife?" The counselor asked, confused, "I um-"
"Yeah," said Rachel angrily, "he looks a bit young for me doesn't he."
"Well, um," mumbled the counselor, looking down at his note, "um, continue, please Tobias."
"Well, the things that I love about her, you know her uh, liveliness," Tobias began nervously, "Well they seemed great back when we first met, but now, she seems a little…insane."
"Insane! I didn't hear you telling me I was insane after about the hundredth time I saved your feathered ass!" Rachel yelled, like a lunatic.
"Well, you see, we were in a war together," Tobias explained, "So it seemed cool at the time you know, dating Xena."
"Yes, often marriage can feel like a war," the counselor said, "but you have to remember-"
"He doesn't mean that you idiot," Rachel sneered, "he means we were in a war, you know, death, killing people, getting shot at."
"Right, and she was a real pistol," Tobias said, forcing a grin, "she uh, she could really raise some hell. But now that the wars over, I kind of thought that she would calm down a little."
"What? I'm not calm enough for you?"
"Rachel, you've been sneaking off at night to fight crime as a bear!"
"That's ridiculous," she shouted, "I most definitely have not."
"There's been like a dozen bear maulings in the past month!" Tobias shouted back at her.
"Bear-Girl could be anyone!" she shouted again, standing up, "you have no proof that it's me."
The counselor realized that his mouth had been hanging open for the past minute, and he shook himself out of his stupor, "Okay, um, things are getting a little tense, um we should break for today."
He began scribbling away on a pad of paper, "I'm prescribing each of you some Lorazapin, I want you to take two a day. And I want you both to work on your communication, try to open up a dialogue everyday. Here you gaaaah!"
He looked up from his pad of paper to find a hawk in place of where Tobias had been a minute before. As he cowered in his seat, the hawk grabbed the paper out of his hand with his beak, and flew out the window.
((See you at home, sweetheart!)) Tobias called back at them.
"WATCH OUT FOR EAGLES HONEY!" Rachel shouted after him.