Sunday June 6th, 1773
My dear Mum,
I have arrived at our cousin's residence. The journey has been calm without any problems or interruptions.
Eduard is kind and he has immediately welcomed me warmly, even if this was the first time we saw each other.
He seems like a very nice young man; and he has told me that tomorrow he will accompany me to my very first ball. I'm excited, though a little nervous. Apparently, I will be introduced to His Highness right from this first evening; and though you have prepared me well enough, I cannot help but to fear I could make a fool out of myself.
The place is as beautiful as you had described it, and my room is very comfortable. It has a little library, which I very much appreciate; the bed is soft, and I have a little writing desk I will be using often.
I want to thank you and Dad for giving me this opportunity. I know I'm an adult now, and I must find a suitable wife. I will not disappoint you!
Please, take care of my sisters, of Dad, and of course of yourself, Mum. I already miss you all.
Your affectionate son
Tino Väinämöinen
This was even better than what he had imagined.
The Castle was magnificent. Even if it was late in the evening, during those summer days the Sun wasn't really leaving space to the Moon, and shone even during the night. The simple but elegant architecture of Drottningholm received therefore only the natural light; and it was beautiful without any unnecessary enlightenment.
A rhythmic and cheerful music could be heard playing from the inside, over a joyful exchanging of voices.
«Beautiful, isn't it? » his cousin said, breathing in the cold summer air. «Are you nervous? »
«Yes, a little. »
«You'll be fine! » Eduard said, patting his shoulder. «His Highness likes to make new acquaintances. »
«I hope so! » Tino replied with a courteous smile. He really wasn't the best at meeting new people, let alone if it was a King; but that's what he had been prepared for.
He shook his head and took a deep breath, before following Eduard on the elegant stairway that brought directly into the ballroom. Looking briefly behind his back, Tino noticed many high-society couples that kept arriving in luxurious carriages from very far away, beyond the garden, in a continuous flow towards the palace.
The huge doors were wide open, as it was summer, and Tino's eyes had never assisted to such wonderful view. Sure, being a member of the low Adeln class had allowed him to frequent modest parties in Eastern Swedish (as it was officially called); but nothing, he realized, was like a ball at the court.
Women wore shining stones, and refined hairstyles, most certainly inspired by the French court; there weren't two dresses of the same texture in the entire ballroom, and moving in synch at the center with their respective partners, they looked like fluttering butterflies. The men, on the other hand, wore white curled wigs (as Tino was forced to), and long coats over their knees; each one, like the women's dresses, had their own color and details.
«This is wonderful, Eduard. » Tino said, admiring in awe the perfect choreography the dancers were moving to. Everyone looked happy: the women showed courteous smiles on their pretty faces, while bringing their hands to their men's arm; and they made them swing graciously in return.
The people that weren't dancing stood at the sides of the room, talking quietly in small groups. Tino noticed some of the eyes were pointing at him, probably because he was a newcomer.
«You'll have to wait for your first dance, my dear cousin. I have to introduce you to some of the gentlemen and ladies around here, and if you do find someone rather interesting, just check if she's already taken before asking her. We do not want to make enemies on the first day, do we? » Eduard winked.
«Oh, no, not at all! »
Tino noticed a man who was looking at him among the others. He was very tall, much more than anybody in the room; and he was dressed in a very sober dark blue coat, unlike the colored ones moving frantically.
He had a very serious expression on his face, despite everyone else being happy, and he was alone, not really talking with anyone. Tino exchanged gazes with him, noticing his piercing glare from the other side of the room, and looked curiously at him for some moments. He felt as if it that man brought all his attention to him, even without doing nothing really and the numerous dancers that moved between them.
The music suddenly stopped playing, and the dancers clapped, tired but satisfied.
«Tino, what are you looking at? »
He turned his head at Eduard's voice.
«That man… he seems bizarre. »
Tino turned his head again in the direction of before, and noticed that the man was now pacing away. Eduard followed his gaze and gasped as soon as he noticed who was the bizarre in question.
«For God's sake, Tino! » he busted, making several heads turn in their direction. «That is definitely NOT the kind of person you should be looking at! »
«Why? » he asked, confusedly following the man with his eyes.
«That is Berwald Oxenstierna, » Eduard said, shaking his head.
Tino blinked, confused.
«We're not talking about this. The only thing you have to do is not look at him, not to mention know him. »
«But- »
«We're not talking about this... Instead, look who's there! » Eduard cried out, in a desperate attempt to distract him. «If that's not Miss Emilie! »
The taller man grabbed Tino's wrist, trying to pull him in the opposite direction he was staring at. The Finnish' eyes were still trying to catch a glimpse of the man, ignoring the grasp, but Eduard definitely wasn't letting him do it. Tino felt pain on his skin from the insistent pull, and decided not to persist just out of sheer curiosity for that mysterious man.
«Fine, I'm coming! » he sighed, scrolling his wrist from Eduard's hand and caressing it, for it was still aching.
«Oh, thanks. »
Eduard turned on his heels and started to walk towards a young lady and the gentleman at her side, followed by Tino.
«Good evening, Mister Von Bock. » the girl bowed politely as soon as they faced them. Tino looked at her; she must've been around fifteen years old, and he had to say, she was a real beauty. She had very light hair that almost looked white, pale skin and intense blue eyes.
Wait, were they violet or was it just the light?
The man at her side coughed politely, clearly not appreciating the attention that was given to whom appeared to be his sister. In fact, Tino's eyes quickly moved to him, and he noticed he had the very same features of the girl: thin lips and small nose, and the very same light colors of skin and hair.
They both seemed to belong to the high-class Adeln; because of their noble looks (or rather, Emilie showed a slightly irritated expression), and because of their clothes. The lady wore a finely embroidered light pink dress, with white ribbons decorating it; the man's coat looked much less expensive at first, but then, looking closely at the details, it had ceramic buttons and very good quality fabric.
«Tino, I would like to introduce you to Lukas Bondevik, one of the two Ambassadors of the Reign of Dänemark-Norwegen, and his sister, Miss Emilie Bondevik. » The two nodded politely.
Tino grinned. « I'm honored to meet you. I'm Tino Väinämöinen, Eduard's cousin. »
«So you're the famous cousin he told us about. » Lukas said with a polite smile.
«Yes, I arrived yesterday from East. I must say, the castle is really delightful. »
Was it Tino's impression, or did Emilie just roll her eyes?
«It is. Probably not as magnificent as Versailles, but much more elegant, if you ask me. »
«Did you also visit the French court? » Tino asked curiously.
«I lived there before coming here. »
«May I ask how it was? »
Lukas shrugged instinctively. « Chaotic. » he answered in a flat voice.
«Why? »
«If you live in Versailles, » Lukas said, «one day you have the favors of the King and the Queen, the other you're kicked out for not being enough… » he paused and managed to show a fake grin on his expressionless face, «…d'ésprit, as they like to call it. »
Tino wanted to give that man a good impression, but he didn't know what d'ésprit meant; he flushed lightly and nodded.
So far, Lukas seemed to be nice, judging on the imperceptible twitching of the corners of his mouth that maybe suggested a smile. His sister, on the other hand, seemed to not like Tino's friendliness nor the fact that his brother was actually continuing the conversation.
«And you, Mr. Väinämöinen? » the gentleman asked, rapidly switching the subject to Tino.
This time, Tino blushed visibly. «Oh, there's not really much to know about me, really… »
Eduard elbowed him subtly at the statement, but Tino didn't understand what he meant by that. There wasn't anything interesting about him!
«I'm feeling weak, » Emilie intervened suddenly, noticeably bored. «I think I'm going to take a seat. »
«Oh. I'll come with you. »Her brother replied, immediately lending her his arm to lean on. «Would you please excuse us? We'll continue our little chat another time. »
« Sure» Tino nodded. He was pretty sure that Emilie was more tired of their presence than because of strain, but there was no point in antagonizing her right now. He bowed politely, and watched them get lost through the crowd.
He sighed relieved as soon as he found himself alone with Eduard.
«It sure seems like Miss Emilie doesn't like me… so much it was becoming unpleasant. »
Eduard giggled. «Oh, no, it's completely normal. Miss Bondevik stands her brother's acquaintances for no more than 2 minutes. »
Tino eyed him surprised.
«Why is that? »
Eduard shrugged. «It's just her usual attitude. But I think Lukas will need to correct that, or else, she's not going to find a husband… » he trailed off before adding, «… if he does want her to marry. It would be rather problematic else way. »
Before Tino could ask him what exactly he meant by that, Eduard burst «BUT! My dear cousin, here at the court, you cannot allow yourself to say 'there's not much to know about me'. »
Tino flushed. «I didn't do that out of modesty… I'm not really an interes-»
«SHUSH! » Eduard interrupted him with a theatrical gesture of his hand. «Remember, Tino. You're not in Finland anymore. If you want to have success here, » he said in a serious voice, «even if you're not, you'll have to become interesting. »
Tino took a deep breath. Here was the moment he had been waiting all the evening.
He peeked discretely at the King, currently sitting on his throne and conversing with Mister Oxenstierna at his side. The Queen was lazily looking at the ongoing minuet in the center of the room, her gaze lost on one undefined point.
«Listen, » Eduard said, «Don't stress and everything will work out. Pay attention on what you say and try to be charming. And don't talk unless you're asked to. And don't stutter. »
Hearing that, Tino gulped, nervously drying his sweating palms on his pants. He absently took out a light blue handkerchief and passed it through his hands before stuffing it again in his pocket.
Eduard patted his back. «It will be a question of minutes. »
He started to walk towards the monarch, Tino rigidly keeping pace at his side. As soon as they noticed, Gustav III, Sophie Magdalene and Berwald lifted their gazes to observe them.
The King was handsome, without a doubt. He had an intelligent and serene expression, his mouth suspended into a natural smile from the conversation he was having with the other man. The Queen, on the other hand, was looking at them with a piercing gaze, her eyes curiously following them; she wasn't pretty, but she had an elegant aura around her, maybe because of her serious face.
And Oxenstierna was simply staring at them. Tino felt frightened by his cold stare, but reminded himself he had to keep his head straight and his eyes to the King, not to the other man at his side.
He bowed deeply along with his cousin.
«Well, if it isn't Mister Von Bock! » The King greeted. «It's been a while. Are you having a nice evening? »
«Marvelous, my King. »
«Who is this gentleman with you? » He asked, studying Tino from head to toe.
«This is my cousin, Tino Väinämöinen. He's from the East. »
«It's a pleasure to meet your Highness. » Tino said, bowing again. He smiled, feeling reassured by the King's own grin. The Queen didn't say anything, coldly staring at them.
«Well, I hope you'll like it here. » The King said energetically. «You are more than welcomed to take part in intellectual activity. We are rich in art, philosophical debate, theatre… anything that you take interest in. »
Eduard had told him before that Gustav was trying to enlighten the Court, and Tino could see how enthusiastic he was about this project.
«Ah, I sure will. Thanks, Your Highness. »
The King nodded. « Have a great evening. »
Tino and Eduard bowed for the last time, and turned to walk away. Tino felt the three gazes judging every single step he took, and awkwardly managed to get away without falling from nervousness.
«Phew, those two minutes were more intense than any other conversation I've had this evening. » he sighed as soon as they were far enough for the King not to hear them.
Eduard chuckled. «The worst is gone, isn't it? Now you can relax. »
«Yes, I think I'm going to take a breath of fresh air. »
«Maybe it's better. Do you mind if I leave you alone while you're outside? I have to talk to someone privately anyway. »
«Sure. » Tino nodded. «Take your time. »
Eduard waved and moved through the crowd, while Tino walked towards the other entrance of the ballroom to exit and face the marvelous expanse of clear water. The Sun shone on the calm surface, and Tino could hear the muffled sound of the minuet continuing behind his back, beyond the windows. Nobody was outside, except him. He took a few steps, arriving to the border of the water.
He observed his mirrored face; blue eyes in a puffy face stared back at him. Tino sighed; why wasn't he manlier? Keeping the beard wasn't remotely granted at the Court; how could he possibly make himself look somehow older than his thirteen-years-old face would allow him?
He heard someone clearing his throat behind him, and surprised, he straightened up and turned back just to find himself facing Berwald Oxenstierna.
«Uhm. » Tino muttered nervously.
The man said nothing, looking intently at him. After some seconds during which Tino awkwardly waited for him to say something, Oxenstierna finally extended his arm, holding a strangely familiar piece of fabric.
«You lost this. »
Tino focused on what the man was giving him, and noticed with a slight sensation of concern that it was his handkerchief.
«… Uh, where did you find it? »
«Where we were before. »
Tino looked up, this time with a terrified expression written all over his face. «When I was talking with His Highness? »
Berwald simply replied, «He didn't notice. »
Tino let out a sigh of relief, and moved his hand to take the handkerchief from the taller man's hand. Their fingers gently brushed together, before Tino quickly removed his hand.
«Thanks… » he murmured embarrassed.
Oxenstierna nodded lightly. «It's nothing. »
Tino tightened the grip on the fabric. He should've probably walked away now, shouldn't he? Eduard had told him not to talk with Oxenstierna, and even though he hadn't yet explained why, he probably should've listened, since the authority here was his cousin and he wasn't probably meant to do as he pleased.
«I believe we haven't introduced ourselves? » Tino timidly asked, lowering his gaze to the ground.
«I'm Berwald Oxenstierna. » simply said the man in his cavernous voice.
« Tino Väinämöinen. It's a pleasure. »
Berwald kept silent, while still keeping his eyes on Tino. The smaller man felt the piercing gaze on the man observing every single movement he did, the features of his face, the shape of his body; and the feared to lift his own eyes to do the same with him.
Hearing a sneeze, he looked up, just to see the confused frown of the taller man who had covered his nose with his hand.
« Uh… » He muttered, «… it's cold. »
Tino giggled at the scowl of annoyance written all over the man's face.
«Would you accept my handkerchief? It's not dirty; I only used it to dry my hands before. »
Berwald seemed to hesitate. He had such a tense expression that Tino wondered what he would look like if something really upsetting occurred to him.
«I would soil it… »
«It's fine, you can give it back when we meet again. » Tino said with a smile, lending him the handkerchief.
The man carefully took it and blew his nose with strength. Though he was enormous, and definitely strange, Tino thought his awkwardness made him nice… in some sort of unique way.
«It's funny though; you came here to give it back to me, and now I'm lending it to you. »
Berwald cleaned the point of his nose, to then fold the fabric and put it in his pocket.
«Thanks. I will give it back as soon as possible. »
The cold green eyes of Berwald stopped again on him, examining his face. None of them moved, standing in complete silence.
«Uhm, is something wrong? » he asked finally, wondering if maybe he had something on his face.
Berwald blinked, as if he had just woken up from a dream. «No, I was just… » He shook his head. «It's nothing. »
Tino gave him a courtesy smile. «Well then, I should probably get going. »
He received a nod as answer.
«Please excuse me. »
He marched around the tall figure, towards the ballroom and not looking back. Berwald was probably staring at him again; Tino was one to get flustered easily, and the Swede's attitude was seriously distressing him. He couldn't say yet if he liked him or not; but out of the people he had met that evening, Oxenstierna was surely the most emblematic one, considering how much he had managed to unsettle him.
«So, will you tell me? » Tino mumbled while chewing a piece of bread.
«What? »
He swallowed.
«The reason why I must avoid Oxenstierna. » After a second, he added: «I mean, I don't mind, but I want to know why. »
Eduard sighed. «I suppose I can't hide it, can I? »
They were having dinner in their house (or rather, Eduard's house, which was now Tino's too for the time being). The dining room was long and spacious, with huge reticulated windows on one wall that flooded the room with sunlight. The dinner table looked old and worn out; nevertheless, it felt really solid. They were eating on porcelain plates, with gold squiggles finely decorating it.
Eduard was of a rather high class, but didn't like most noble habits and kept in his house only two servants. This is why, while eating, the two didn't have anyone going in and out of the room; there was a large central dish, and they took as much as they wanted by themselves. Tino was already enjoying his cousin's lifestyle very much, as it allowed almost complete privacy.
«Berwald Oxenstierna is a sodomite. »
« What?! »
«You heard me. You know the word, right? »
«… It's not like I don't know what a sodomite is. » he said, suddenly quiet, while cutting the meat on his plate. A man who loved another man, that's what it was. And he also knew it was considered a filthy, disgusting sin. «I'm just wondering, well, how you would know that. »
«Well, for instance, Oxenstierna doesn't talk with anyone. His only friendship in the Court is with the King, since his father was counselor of the previous one. And, the Oxenstierna family is member of the higher noble class. This is why he doesn't need anyone's friendship, you see? »
«Yes, but this doesn't explain his bad reputation. »
«Well, » Eduard said while pouring water, «he is 27 years old, and he has never, for once in his life, been seen talking with a woman, let alone dancing. Instead, most people assert he peeks at men. In the end, no one has ever wanted to talk to him either. »
Tino kept silent, chewing absently.
Eduard glanced at him. «Maybe I shouldn't tell you this… »
«What? »
«Even the King is probably a sodomite. » he whispered with complicity, although no one was there except them.
Tino's bite of bread blocked in his throat and he started to cough frantically. «Wh- cough- what?! »
«Don't you dare mention this to anyone. » Eduard threatened his chocking cousin with his fork. «It's a rumor, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. He has had more than one masculine fondness. »
He sure likes gossip.
«I was taught sodomy was a sin… »
«Well, you can't really say anything about it when it's about a royal, can you? » Eduard said calmly. «And if it's a noble, well, it's not really the most recommended quirk to have. In Oxenstierna's case, it's even worse, because that's all his reputation is. This is why you should avoid him. »
Tino's voice died in his throat. He lowered his gaze and started to cut another bite of meat.
What did Oxenstierna's attitude mean? He didn't seem like a bad person, but according to Eduard, he had put himself in this unfortunate situation all by himself… well, without doing anything really himself.
What had shaken him most was the whole sodomy conversation. Why could the King get away with it, but anyone else could be considered as a reject from society just by loving other men?
«Is everything fine? »
«Yes. » Tino faked a smile. « The beef is delicious. »
«I'm glad! You'll have to tell Toris, I'm sure he would be happy. My fiancée loves Toris' dishes too. »
Another chocking impulse.
«Tino, for God's sake! Drink something… Anyway, at the ball, when I left for a while, I was talking with her father. She was supposed to be there, but apparently, she wasn't feeling very well. »
«What's her name? »
«Raili Galante. » Eduard said with a smile, cheeks blushing in a tender instinct. «I will introduce you as soon as she gets better, yes? »
«Sure. » Tino nodded enthusiastically. He could see, by his cousin's red face, how much he cared for this lady.
Tino! No more silly thoughts: you have to find a fiancée too. Berwald Oxenstierna's life was none of his business; he was here for the sole purpose of finding a suitable wife, and he wasn't going to get involved in any drama. Or at least, that's what he hoped.
A/N: Hi there!
I planned this historical AU for so so long, I hope you like it.
Super important note: I didn't study the Swedish Court at school, so I did a lot of research to keep this as accurate as possible, though I couldn't find all the informations I needed (ex. while Finland was under Swedish's domination, was it called East or Finland? I decided to let people living in that area call it Finland unofficially, but this isn't historically accurate) . There's very little information about this on the internet, it's a shame!
This said, please leave a review! Thank you for reading
Camilla