Dark Dreams

By. Symph0ny

Authors Note:
I do not own these characters, and I never will. They all belong to JK Rowling, I just like messing with them and putting my favorite characters into angsty situations. Yep. Don't get me wrong with this fic. I love Lupin to pieces but I just love putting my favorite characters into angsty situations. I dunno why it's just fun to torture them. Heh.
Anyways this fic as spoilers from Book 5, OotP so if you haven't read that book I suggest you don't read this, unless you wanna be spoiled.

-

It was the night of a full moon, and like any other full moon night Remus Lupin had undergone the painful change into a werewolf. Although because of the potion that Severus continued to make, even after he had left Hogwarts allowed him to keep his mind. So there he lay, Remus Lupin, the werewolf, curled up by the fire, staring at the flames with saddened eyes. Ever since Sirius died…it was becoming even more painful to do this transformation ever month. Every month when he transformed he'd only be reminded of those youthful days in the past, when all four of them went out on adventures every month, even after they left Hogwarts, his three friends would continue to keep him company on those nights of his transformation. But now, all but Wormtail was dead, and Wormtail was a traitor to them all…he was just as good as being dead, for the Wormtail they all loved was long since gone. Lupin gave a shuddering sigh as he continued to gaze into the fire, gloomily. Soon, though, the warmth of the room and his fur caused him to get sleepy. He tried to ward away the sleepiness but eventually his eyes closed and he fell into a deep sleep.

That night Remus dreamed, which was rather unusual since on the nights when he became a werewolf he rarely ever slept, much less dreamed anything, but that night he did dream. He was a boy again, wandering recklessly in the forest by his grandparents' house. He had been warned many times to stay away from the forests, but his curiosity had finally gotten the better of him and wander he did. He grinned to himself. There was nothing scary in this forest, no way! He could probably go all the way through the forest and back before morning. It was a good thing it was a full moon that night, though, because otherwise it would have been too dark to see when he had snuck out of the house. He walked confidently through the trees, sure of himself that he would not get hurt!

Suddenly…two golden eyes stared at him from the foliage. Remus stopped in his tracks and stared in horror at the eyes in front of him, fearing whatever it was that was eyeing him from the shadows. A strange low snarl could be heard, as the eyes drew closer. Remus started to back away as the eyes continued to draw closer, snarling sounds growing louder. Suddenly a wolf like creature sprung from the foliage! Remus screamed in terror and bolted. He had suddenly lost his sense of direction and had no idea which way he had come from! All he knew was he needed to get away from this wolf soon as possible! Remus screamed for help as he looked over his shoulder, the wolf started to catch up with him! Oh no! Remus fell with a thud as he tripped over an upturned root. He looked up just in time to see the wolf launch himself over him and land right on top of him! Remus cried out and tried to get away but the wolf suddenly bit down on Remus' arm! Remus stared in horror as blood gushed from his arm! Suddenly the setting changed and he was in a place of complete darkness. His figure, on the ground, staring at his arm which no longer bled, nor did it have a bite mark, was the only thing that could be seen, the wolf creature, which he now knew was a werewolf was no where to be seen. He was completely alone.

Remus looked around fearfully. He was his current age again, much to his surprise. He got to his feet and wondered what was happening. This eerie unnatural silence frightened him, and his fear was heightened by the fact he couldn't see anything…nothing but himself…there was just this nothingness everywhere! Remus felt like screaming. This emptiness was unbearable! Even if it was Severus, or even Lord Voldemort himself, he just wanted someone here…anyone! Suddenly a familiar voice was heard through the darkness.

"Moony…" Remus looked up in surprise, trying to find where that voice had come from!

"James!" Remus cried out. "James! Are you there!"

"Moony…" The familiar voice repeated. "Moony…you killed me…" Remus stared up in horror. What did he just say? "Moony…I'm dead…because of you…"

"NO!" Remus screamed. "That's not true! That's not true! I didn't kill you! I didn't! It wasn't my fault!" Remus screamed, tears staring to form in his eyes upon hearing one of his best friends accusing him so harshly. "I had-I had nothing to do with it!"

"Moony…no matter what you think…you killed me…exactly, you had nothing to do with it…and therefore you killed me…you killed me because you were too weak to do anything! You killed me Moony…and you killed…"

"Me…" Remus gasped in pure horror. That was Sirius' voice! The voice he had been haunted by ever since that fateful day in the department of mysteries! This voice shocked him so much he fell to his knees as he stared up trying to find the source of the voices which accused him so cruelly.

"You could have pulled me away, Moony! You could have grabbed me and kept me from falling into the Veil. You could have used your magic to push me away." Remus shook his head, hands fisted in his hair as he tried to drown away the voices with pain that didn't come. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

"No…no…!" Remus moaned, sobbing.

"You could have defended me, done something…anything…Moony!"

"No…no, please don't say that Sirius! Please!" Remus pleaded. By this time he was crouched over upon the floor, in anguish, sobbing, desperately trying to plead with his friends.

"But no! You just stood there and watched me fall! You even held Harry back! He was trying to get to me! He was trying to run and save me but you just held him back! You let your own friend die without doing anything! At least Harry went to avenge my death! You did nothing!"

"Sirius please!" Remus screamed.

"You killed us! You killed us all Moony!" James and Sirius' voice both chanted in unison. "Everyone who's close to you die! Just watch, Moony…you're going to kill Harry and his friends too! It's all because you're too selfish to think of anyone but yourself! And your own safety!"

"Please…stop this…" Remus sobbed. "STOP THIS NOW! SIRIUS! JAMES! FORGIVE ME, PLEASE!"

Remus woke up screaming those last three words. His eyes wide with fright, sweat pouring from his body. He panted heavily, as he lay upon the floor, tears streamed from his eyes upon his cheeks, as he remembered his terrible, horrible dream. He drew a shuddered breath as he continued to cry upon the floor. He glanced out the window and noticed it was early morning, although at this point he didn't care that all that much. He had slept the whole night away. He knew it was just a dream, he knew that James and Sirius weren't really talking to him. But…it was still painful…reliving the day he was bitten…and then his best friends scolding him so cruelly and mercilessly…A sob escaped him as he continued to cry upon the floor, not even getting up to get clothes, which he was lacking at that moment.

A soft tap upon the door was heard suddenly. Remus looked up from his spot on the floor. He wasn't sure just how long he had been crying or lying upon the floor, but at the moment he didn't really care. He wasn't much in the mood for company. He slowly picked himself up from the floor and stared at the door.

"Who…who is it?" Remus called weakly, pushing away some of his messy hair. Sleeping on the floor that whole night, even if he was a werewolf that whole time still had given him a very sore neck, and a slight headache.

"Professor Lupin…are you up?" It was Harry…Remembering the dream Remus almost gasped in terror.

"U-uh…yes, I'm up Harry. Um-"

"Okay! Uh, breakfast is ready if you want it, there's a lot of us here today! Everyone's anxious to make sure you're okay! Tonks, Professor Moody, everyone…er…oh well you might want to stay in there after all. Snape just came in…" Harry grumbled. Remus smiled to himself. Harry was trying to cheer him up, he could tell. Everyone knew that these past few months, after the transformation he'd been in a rather gloomy of angry mood, and they had been trying so hard to cheer him up ever since the first two months. Remus sighed, and gave another weary smile.

"I'll be out in a moment, Harry. Let me just put on some clothes…"

"You better right come out of there Lupin!" Called the gruff voice of Mad-Eye Moody. "No use mopping and being all depressed locked up in your room! It aint healthy!"

"What would you know about mopping and being locked up in a room?" Inquired the ever cheerful voice of Tonks.

"You be quiet!" Moody snapped.

"Now, now, lets all settle down!" Came the stern voice of Professor McGonagall.

"All right, all right! I'll be right out!" Remus laughed, feeling suddenly very happy. He wasn't sure why but knowing that all his friends outside the door was reassuring and made him feel much, much better then when he had woken up.

Remus stared out at the window, as he put on some pants, the sun growing higher and the land getting brighter outside. Night seemed so long ago. As Remus was buttoning up his shirt, the warm sun shone through the window, and the sounds of morning could be heard ever so softly. Those dreams he bore the night before…they were but a mere memory now. He had made foolish choices in the past, yes…but he made many great choices in his life as well. He was sure if he ever did see James and Sirius again, somewhere, someday they would not blame him, no they were not like that, they had never been like that…not even when they had discovered his dark and dreadful secret in those innocent days back in Hogwarts. He wasn't sure why…but at that moment he could somehow feel their presence about him in that room, that morning. Standing next to him, one on either side of him, just like old times. Maybe that was why he was feeling so relieved…so happy. He smiled at the window, good-naturedly. He turned towards the door and heard the usual hustle and bustle, and the occasional insult thrown out that occurred in the morning. He wasn't sure if this feeling of their presence was just in his mind, or if they were really here, in some way or another, but he didn't care. All he cared about was he felled happy, and there would be people just outside this door that cared about him. He opened the door and stepped into out of his room into the main room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Many people greeted him as he walked in. Harry was right, there were a lot of them here today. He smiled and responded, his usual way, a reply and a cheerful smile. He wasn't sure what would lay in wait for the future, but all he knew was…whatever happens…he would always have his friends. Oh and…he was never going to fall asleep when he was a werewolf ever again…

The End