Okay, I know I'm supposed to be working on the next chapter of Only Hope, but when the muse calls...
Disclaimer: None of this is mine!
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Three a.m. That's the time that scares me the worst.
At three in the morning, I'm either alone in my bed, not alone in my bed and staring down another one of those living, breathing, stupid mistakes, or at a crime scene. Tonight it's the first.
I stare up at my ceiling and wonder if the newlywed couple above me have had a fight. Normally this time is very hot and heavy for them. I turn my head and stare out the window.
Not a single star is anywhere to be found in that unending dark sky. And I sometimes wonder about that nursery ryhme I used to sing, before I really knew the truth about myself, about my mother. Star light, star bright... How does that damn thing go again?
A car horn blasts down on the street, interrupting and intrusive. I close my eyes for a moment, but there's no relief there. There rarely is anymore. Peace seems like a foreign concept to me, always just beyond my grasp.
My hand absently stretches out across the empty expanse of my bed. I am very much alone, but never really alone. Because he's there, whether I want him to be or not.
He's always right there with me, but always out of my reach. And that's what's slowly killing me. Not the whiskey or the job. It's knowing that he'll never, ever be mine.
He's as much a part of me as I am, but not mine. No, someone else is holding him right now, and it's not me.
I roll onto my side and resume staring out the window.
Maybe if I look long enough, I'll finally find that star.
Star light, star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I make tonight
The End
A/N: A little depressing, I know. But it was begging to be written, and I had some fun with it. And who knows. If I get a good response, I might right a companion piece from El's POV. What did you guys think? Please review!