After a long break from Castle, I have returned with something more to contribute. This will be a two-shot, probably with a sequel to follow at some point. I hope you enjoy.
Kate Beckett wasn't scared of much. As a detective in New York City, it was pretty much a requirement that might as well be written in invisible ink on any application to the Academy: Must Not Fear Much. Of course, she still felt fear; they had protocols for those who didn't fear anything because it was plain crazy to fear nothing. Kate was afraid of failing the hundreds of victims' families that counted on her to bring them answers and justice.
She was acutely afraid of being shot again because she knew, really knew, that she might not (probably won't) be lucky a second time.
And for a long time, she had been afraid of one Richard Castle. At first, she was only worried that his presence would detrimentally affect her close rate. She feared that Castle would distract her at just the wrong moment and she would lose one of her team. Most of all, in the aftermath of her shooting and recovery, when she remembered so much and admitted so little, she was afraid of his feelings for her and hers for him. Because she did love Rick Castle, and had for awhile before she was even willing to acknowledge it to herself, let alone to him.
But also written in invisible ink on that application was this: Must Be Able To Handle Fear. What Kate feared, she faced, day after day, which didn't lessen the fear so much as made the handling of it habit and ingrained second nature. She threw herself into her cases, sometimes beyond a reasonable point, and gave each one her very best. She stared down assailants with guns pointed at her, confident that she could talk it out or shoot it out, depending on how cooperative said assailant would be.
She trusted her heart to an over-grown child in many ways, rewarded each day she did with proof that it was in good hands. He was passion and compassion both, the creative force and tender support in equal measure. He was the same way a fire could both warm and burn you. And despite being blown up in her own apartment, Kate wasn't afraid of fire anymore. Because he had been there, too. One couldn't have Castle without fire.
All of those fears, though? They were nothing compared to the fear Kate felt, standing in front of an innocent college dorm room, willing herself to knock. The fears Kate dealt with on a daily basis were controlled because of their very nature to stay with her throughout her days. Talking with the daughter her—come on, Kate, say it—boyfriend was completely new territory. She'd never dated someone with children before. And despite the fact that Kate and Alexis had spoken before, it was never in these roles of loving the same man. This was the unknown where most people feared to tread.
But Kate Beckett wasn't scared of much. And what she did fear, she dealt with.
She knocked and waited.
I will be updating Alexis' chapter along the same themes within a few days. Thanks for reading.
Cantoris