Some Like it Mild
By Kukaburry
Chapter 1- Crazy Train
-Harry Potter Disclaimer-
**So basically this is a flat-out fanfic. Most of the Harry Potter plot has been tossed out the window. I have created, once again, my own character whom gets mixed up with our favorite Slytherin. It starts of very cheesy in the first two chapters but gets down to the full plot around chapter 3.**
Laurie Carter sashayed her way towards the Hogwarts express. This was her year to shine. This was her sixth year at Hogwarts and damn it she was going to have a great time. Several guys turned their heads and nodded in approval. Laurie smiled smugly. Her makeover was a fantastic success. Her new skinny jeans and cleavage-enhancing shirt caught nearly every guy's attention. Almost no one recognized her, which was easy considering no one knew who she was before. She had always been a bit of a brainiac and impossibly shy around most people, especially attractive guys.
She spent the past year with her pure-blood uncle in Italy along with his three sons and one muggle daughter, Matilda whom they treated with ill-hidden contempt. Her cousin was an aspiring fashion designer-a popular job for muggles- and knew everything there was to know about popular styles, body figures, color schemes and all the mumbo jumbo a book-nerd like Laurie had no interest in. Laurie spilled her heart out to Matilda about her recent boy problems. Two boys in a span of two years broke Laurie's fragile heart. Both times, the boys broke off their relationship for a much prettier (and more experienced) girl, with guided help from her least favorite person at Hogwarts.
Matilda hugged Laurie's shoulders and said confidently "Fuck those guys. Relationships are for uptight pricks. You shouldn't be in it for the long haul this early in life, live in the moment and go crazy. Shag anyone you want without caring." Laurie blushed a deep crimson. She had barely snogged her last bloke much less went for the full Monty. Matilda saw Laurie's doubts surfacing and said "I can teach you, don't worry. I'll turn you into sex vixen in no time." Laurie giggled and consented.
Laurie spent the rest of the summer learning to flirt and catch a guy immediately. She learned to throw away her inhibitions and get dirty with several hot Italian muggles as well as one Italian wizard. She had become a predator of the opposite sex. With a brand new wardrobe, a brand new hairstyle and a brand new personality, Laurie felt confident that her social life at Hogwarts would take a turn for the better. After all, what did she have to lose?
After years of social awkwardness, Laurie finally felt powerful. She boarded the train and sauntered to the first open compartment. She leaned in through the doorway and saw a firm body and shaggy hair that had to belong to one of the many gorgeous males she remembered from Hogwarts. She raised her eyebrows coolly and pressed her breasts forward enticingly then coughed to get the guy's attention. Hazy grey eyes met her crystal blue. She blinked in irritation.
'Ugh greasy hair, pointed face, shallow skin. I can't get away from Malfoy.' She held her composure long enough to smirk and say mock-teasingly, "My you've filled out Malfoy. You can finally fit into men's clothing after all these years." She secretly cheered at her witty banter.
Malfoy raised his eyebrows searchingly. "Do we know each other? You're definitely not a Slytherin." He finished scathingly, trying to place where he'd seen her before.
Laurie smiled with mock-sympathy. "It's a shame you're going senile already. Brilliant deduction though, I'm not a Slytherin. Don't worry. You'll never forget me after this year." She smiled seductively and closed the compartment door slowly, enjoying the sight of a dumb-founded Malfoy. Score one for Laurie Carter.
The door slid open quickly and Malfoy yelled after her "What's your name then?"
Without turning around Laurie replied with her new nickname, "Rye Carter."
Laurie continued on her quest, but without much luck. Most of the attractive males seemed to have a girl tagging along or their rooms were full. She reached the end of the second cart and found a couple of familiar faces. "Hey boys, causing trouble yet?"
Three heads turned violently at the sound of Laurie's voice. George, Fred and Lee all gaped at the gorgeous girl standing before them. "Well hello there. May we offer you a very comfortable seat with the three handsomest gentlemen at Hogwarts?" George proffered the seat nearest him, shoving Fred away.
"You honestly don't recognize me?" Laurie frowned, pretending to be hurt. "Two of my friends don't know who I am."
Fred's eyes widened as he took a closer look. "No, I don't believe it!"
"Laurie?!" They all yelled in unison. George and Fred hugged her tightly and clapped her on the back.
"Man you're gorgeous." Lee murmured.
"Did you kill a model and steal her skin?" Fred asked, grinning ear to ear.
Laurie cocked her head and laughed, "No, but damn that's a good idea. That would have been way easier and cheaper."
"What happened to the little book nerd we always tried to cheat off?" George quipped, sitting Laurie down between him and Fred.
"I got smart. I wasn't a guy magnet… as you know, so I spent the summer in the city of passion and learned how to be a uh…vixen. I didn't want to end up as the girl who gets her heart broken. I want to be the girl who breaks the hearts." She pumped her fist in the air heartily, grinning confidently.
George and Fred exchanged bemused looks. "Well miss hot-pants, you'll definitely have a shag fest this year. Any guy would be crazy not to take off his pants on the first date." Fred cheered.
"I learned some great snogging tricks that I'm dying to try out on our blokes here. It'll melt them in their socks."
"Hey, you can try it on us."
"Yeah, free of charge."
Laurie chuckled and punched them playfully, "You guys are ridiculous."
The twins grinned. "We are older," Fred began.
"And more experienced," George chimed.
"Than guys in your grade."
"It'll be educational." They grinned mischievously. "You don't want to try it on Lee though, he can't handle it." George cracked and Lee kicked him jokingly.
"I can too. I just happen to be interested in someone at the moment, no offense Laurie. I'd shack up with you any other time, though." Lee winked and Laurie blushed.
Rolling her eyes, Laurie replied, "Wow thanks for your generous offers guys, I'm glad to know you're so charitable."
Just then the food trolley stopped and they all stocked up on sweets. Fred gawked at Laurie's mound of chocolate. "Not worrying about your feminine figure?" He chided.
"Nah, I haven't had desert for several months. I deserve something delicious for my fabulous run-in with Malfoy." She spoke nonchalantly, but she knew their interests were piqued immediately. They leaned in, curious and she gave them all the details leaving out the part where she initially thought he was sexy.
All three boys guffawed loudly at the end. "You go Carter! I can't believe you did that to Malfoy of all people. You really have turned into a sex vixen. I wouldn't be surprised if you 'ran into' him later this evening."
"After all the shit he's put you through over the years, it'd be great to hear that you've got his goat."
Laurie didn't like where this conversation was leading. "Thanks guys, but I would not touch any part of Malfoy with a 20 foot pole, not even for a million galleons." They looked downtrodden, but shrugged it off. Secretly they hoped she would reconsider because Malfoy needed to be put in his place.
Hope you enjoyed the first chapter.
Remember, Always keep a book with you in case you get stuck somewhere! ~Kukaburry