Phineas and Ferb
Dude, Where's My Girlfriend?
FanFiction Summary: It's Phineas & Isabella's 4th friend-a-versary, and Isabella is stoked, because today is the day she is finally going to tell Phineas how she feels about him. But when it seems Phineas has forgotten (which he actually does), she decides to teach him a lesson with the help of her mother. So she "runs away" to what her mother told her was where her uncle lived. But, it turns out her uncle Roger had been dead for five years due to be drafted into Iraq. Not knowing this, she accidentally stays on a bus too long and ends up in Santa Ana. While there, she is talked into following her dream, which is to be a guitar player in a rock band. So, she is drafted as a guitarist in KISS, but something's not quite right about them...but, I'll get into that when we get there.
Meanwhile, Perry is drafted into his biggest mission yet, and this time his enemy isn't Doofenshmirtz. But don't worry, you'll see plenty of him. This mission is big. In fact, it's so big that even the CIA has to get involved. Featuring: Songs such as "You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home" and "Don't Wanna be Torn" by Miley Cyrus.
Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. Keep up the good work, gentlemen!
Prologue
It was another bright and sunny summer day in Danville. Even though they still had some time to go until school actually started, Phineas and Ferb made it their mission to make every single day count and not waste any time and just have fun while they could.
"OK, Ferb, time to brainstorm!" Phineas said optimistically to his quiet brother. "We've got only a few days of summer left so we have to make them the best we can! Now, what are we gonna do today?"
Ferb, the quiet man he was, calmly took out some blue prints to some of their last inventions for the summer. Their choices were: rocket-powered ice skates, teach Perry tricks, or make an ever-lasting deoderant.
"Hmm...so many choices...so little time...." Phineas took out his pocket calender and checked the date: Sunday, June 14th. It was still the beginning of summer, but Phineas was so determined to make every single day count. He wouldn't let anything stop him. "Wait a minute..." He took a closer look at the calender and realized it was June 14th. "It's June 14th! Ferb, do you know what this means?"
Ferb just look at him quietly.
"It's the 4th anniversary of the day Isabella and I first met!"
"And what is so special about that?"
"Are you kidding, Ferb? It was like the best day of my life! I remember it like it was yesterday!"
(Cue Flashback)
It was a dark and stormy night. It was pouring outside, and everyone was forced to stay indoors to avoid getting hurt or struck by lightning. Of course, as bad as things were outside, inside the home of a 5-year Isabella Garcia Shapiro.
Because once again, his father and mother were arguing over how to raise their child. Isabella's father, Glenn, accused Isabella of accidentally breaking the TV, while her mother was defending her. Of course, what he didn't realize was that he was the one that broke the TV the previous night while he was drunk and under the influence of drugs.
But as a result, he was so infuriated that the TV was broken that he kicked her right out of the house and made her sleep on the streets that night. She was scared, hungry, exhausted, and wet, but Jerry wouldn't let her back in. So she was forced to stay by the streets.
While all of this was unfolding, a 5-year old Phineas Flynn was in his home, trying to find something to do in this terrible weather. It was only now that he looked out his window and saw that Isabella was sitting there on the sidewalk, getting drenched and soaked in rain and crying. Now, by this time, the Flynn-Fletcher family has also just moved into the neighborhood, so they had arrived just a few months after the Garcia-Shapiros had arrived, so Phineas didn't really know her that well. But he could tell she was upset.
So, he did the only humane thing he could think of: go outside and talk to her. He took an umbrella, of course. What kind of idiot wouldn't?
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
"Hey," He said to her in a calm voice as he sat down next to her. "Whatcha' doin'?" He asked what would later become her signature catchphrase, which she probably stole from Beyonce.
"Nothin." She replied in between sobs. She found it extremely tough to talk to him without crying hysterically. "My dad kicked me out of the house!"
"What!? In this kind of weather! Why would he do that!?"
"Because he thinks I broke the TV!"
"Well...did you?"
"NO!" She shouted at the top of her lungs which actually scared Phineas a little. "I wasn't even home when it happened! It was him! He drank too much again and fell over and crashed the TV. But he still thinks I'm the one that did it!"
"Well that's not fair!"
"I know! My mom's in there defending me but right now he's probably hitting her!"
"Oh my god, that's horrible!"
"I know! They fight all the time but it's never been this bad! They've had their disagreements but they've never resorted to hitting each other."
"Wow, sounds bad."
"It is bad! My dad's always yelling at me for things that he already did, and my mom always has to come to my rescue, but I always end up getting kicked out of the house!" She couldn't help but sob as she relived some painful memories. Phineas barely knew her, and he felt sorry for her, even letting her take a shoulder.
When I saw you over there,
I didn't mean to stare,
But my mind was everywhere,
I wanna know you
Gonna guess that you're the kind,
To say what's on your mind,
But you listen when I have something to show you.
Meanwhile, in the house, Glenn and Vivian were still fighting, but Vivian was finally getting through to him, and he was finally coming to his senses. But by this point, it was too late. He was trying to reason with Vivian but she was so pissed off she turned him away. Then at that point, Phineas stood up, took out some hammer thing that he made out of steel and stormed inside. He slammed the door behind him and stared down Isabella's father. She could hear the conversation through the door, despite the loud downpour.
"What do you want, runt?"
"Are you that girl's father?"
"You mean the little bitch sitting out there who broke my TV? Yeah. Who wants to know?"
"I do!"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I want you..." He began as he took out his hammer. "...to take this hammer, and SHOVE IT!" ANd then he lifted the hammer up as hard as he could and slammed it down on Glenn's foot.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He shouted as he rubbed his big toe in agony. It was completely shattered, and it caused him to fall on the floor from imbalance. With that, he took his leave, and came out to see a shocked and yet gleeful Isabella.
There's a mark above your eye,
You got it in July
Fighting for your sister's reputation
You remember people's names
And Valentines are lame
So I bring you flowers just for no occasion
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
I wanna know you!
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
I wanna go there, where you go
I wanna find out what you know
And maybe someday down the road,
I'll sit back and say to my self, 'yeah I thought so'
"What did you do to him?"
"OH I brought the hammer down on him! Literally, I brought this hammer down on him." He replied showing her the steel hammer. "I broke his big toe."
"Wow, that's amazing. But how did you make that?"
"Oh that was easy. I just melted down a bunch of steel and then crafted it into a hammer. And then after that I froze it for a little while to harden it up."
"Wow. How long did that take you?"
"OH a couple of hours?"
"A couple of hours?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Do you do this kind of stuff all the time?"
"Yeah. I do lots of things to make time pass during the summer. After all, it doesn't last forever."
"You're right."
"And it goes much quicker since Ferb's by my side."
"Ferb?"
"My step-brother?"
"You have a step-brother? Oh I wish I were you. I'm an only child."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I guess it's been pretty lonely."
"Yeah."
The two of them just stood there quietly, not sure what to say next. Now that her father was complaining about a broken toe, she didn't have to worry about him. But she did have to worry about catching a cold.
You smile, never shout.
You stand out in a crowd
You make the best of every situation
Correct me if I'm wrong,
You're fragile and you're strong
a beautiful and perfect combination
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
I wanna know you
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
"Hey, do you want to come back to my house for awhile? You know, until things settle down here?"
"Really? But I don't even know your name!"
"I don't know yours, but that doesn't bother me. Besides, if I were to leave you out here to catch a cold in this terrible weather, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
For the first time in a long time, she let out a genuine smile to him.
So the two of them walked back to Phineas's house. He knocked on the front door and was greeted by his mother.
I wanna go there, where you go
I wanna find out what you know
And maybe someday down the road,
I'll sit back and say to my self
I like how you are with me
In our future history
And someday down the road
I'll sit back and say to my self,
'Yeah, I thought so'
"Phineas? What are you doing out here? It's raining cats and dogs out here..." It was only now that she realized Isabella was standing next to him. "Who's your friend?"
"Mom, this is...uh," He had forgotten that he had never learned her name.
"Isabella. My name's Isabella." She replied for him.
"She was by the sidewalks because her dad had kicked her out of the house."
"Oh my goodness, that's terrible! Why'd he do that?"
"Because he thinks she's the one that broke their TV."
"Oh. Well, did you?"
"NO!" She shouted in anger.
"OK, OK, sorry. Just asking."
"So, can she stay here for the night until things cool down at home?"
"Well, of course. Come on in, honey. We'll get you something warm to wear." Linda said as the three of them went inside.
"So...you're name's Phineas?" Isabella sked him.
"Uh, yeah."
"I like that name."
"Well, I like yours." He made Isabella blush.
I thought so, whoa!
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah.
And so Linda took the girl in and gave her some cozy PJ's to wear. Unfortunately, due to the horrible weather, both she and Phineas came down with a cold and had to stay in bed for a week. During that time, they got to know each other a little bit more, Isabella got acquainted with his whole family, and Vivian finally divorced Glenn and kicked him out of the house. He never came back. In fact, he moved to another town in another state.
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
I wanna know you
Whoa, whoa, oh
Whoa, Whoa
I wanna go there, where you go
I wanna find out what you know
And maybe someday down the road,
I'll sit back and say to my self
I like how you are with me
In our future history
And someday down the road
I'll sit back and say to my self,
'Yeah, I thought so
(End Flashback)
"Man, that was one of the best days of my life." Phineas continued to Ferb. "And every single year on this day, we both makes gifts to give to each other to signal that our friendship is still going strong."
"That's nice...so what do you plan to make her this year?"
"Dunno, yet. I still have time to think about it, though."
Uh-huh. Sure you do.Ferb thought to himself. What Phineas did not realize was that his friendship anniversary with Isabella was actually yesterday. Ferb was just waiting to see how long it would take for him to realize it.
Meanwhile, Phineas decided to give Isabella a call to wish her a happy Friendship Anniversary. However, when he got an answer, it wasn't Isabella. It was her mother instead.
"No Phineas, Isabella's not here." Vivian said to Phineas over the phone.
"She's not. But how? I mean, today is our friendship anniversary. She couldn't have just forgotten about it."
"Um..." Vivian was keeping a horrible secret from Phineas, but she couldn't tell him. She had promised her daughter that she wouldn't. "I'm sorry, Phineas. But I haven't seen her. I'll let you know if I do, though."
"Oh. OK." He sounded disappointed. "Well, thanks anyway." And thus he hung up the phone. He was stumped. "Hmm, I wonder if Baljeet's seen him."
So Phineas then went to ask his good friend Baljeet on Isabella's whereabouts.
"No, I have not seen Isabella all day."
So Baljeet hasn't seen her.
"Sorry, Dinner Bell. Haven't seen her."
Neither has Buford.
"Nope."
"Sorry."
"No dice."
So Stacy, Jeremy, nor Coltrane have seen her.
"I don't get it." A defeated Phineas said, returning home after an exhausting day of looking for Isabella. "It's like she's disappeared off the face of the Earth."
He walked inside and went to the dinner table where his entire family was there, including his step-brother Ferb, his annoying sister, Candace, his mother, Linda, and his step-father, Lawrence. Their pet, Perry the Platypus, was on the floor, eating his dinner.
"Oh hello, Phineas. We haven't seen you all day." His mother was the first to speak to him. "So whatcha' been up to?"
"Looking for Isabella." He solemnly replied. "Today was our 4th friend-a-versary, and she's nowhere to be found."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I don't get it. Why would she just disappear like that. It's not like I've done anything wrong. We always celebrate our friendship anniversary on this day?"
Those exact words were what caused Ferb to suddenly ask, "This day?"
"Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Because...if I recall, in past years, your 'friendship anniversary' with Isabella was always on June 13th, not 14th."
"What?"
"Yes, Phineas. In past years, you've said it was June 13th you first met Isabella." Lawrence agreed.
"I remember that day clearly." Ferb also added.
"How could you possibly remember it? It was 4 years ago." Candace asked him firmly.
"Because I was watching the Michael Jackson Child Molestation Verdict Reading when it was unfolding."
"You were?"
"Yes, and it was unanimous that he was not guilty."
"How do you remember that when it was 4 years ago!?"
"Candace, he is an international superstar. Something like that you just don't forget that easily."
"But wait, if what you guys are saying is true, then..." Phineas had to ponder on this for a moment. He was not one to forget something this important this easily. It was truly an honest mistake. Finally, it hit him... "Oh my god, I forgot our friendship anniversary!!" He buried his head in his hands in shame, having made one of the biggest mistakes in his young life.
This travesty, however, simply made Candace laugh obnoxiously about it. "Oh man, that's hillarious!"
"Candace!" Their mother yelled firmly to her.
"What? Mom, you have to admit that's pretty funny!"
Candace was truly enjoying this moment, but Phineas was a different story. And the more she laughed, the angrier he got.
"I mean, what kind of idiot forgets his own anniversary!?"
This made even Lawrence cringe, forcing him to remenise the time he forgot his own wife's anniversary. (Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together. A/N: This episode takes place the summer after the actual series takes place.)
"Oh god, Phineas, you must feel so stupid right now!" she laughed louder. "Isabella must be so mad at you right now! I don't even know what that girl sees in you!"
At this point, Phineas had had enough of her ranting. She had always been on his case every single day of every single summer, but this was going way too far.
"Shut up! Just shut up, right now!" He finally screamed into her face. She wasn't even that phased.
"Phineas, just--"
"No, you shut your fat mouth right now, you obnoxious little tool!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. Candace flinched a lot, and so did the rest of his family. "You think just because I screwed here, that entitles you to make me miserable! Well let me tell you something, Candace! You can't! And do you know why!?"
Candace shyly shook her head no.
"Because Isabella is one of my best friends in the entire world! People like her come around once, maybe twice in a lifetime! ANd I'm probably never going to see her again! I mean, how would you feel if it was Jeremy in her position?"
Her desire to laugh in his face had suddenly disappeared as she had begun to ponder on that thought. "Well..."
"Yeah, I didn't think so! Do me a favor, Candace. Next time you want to make fun or me or get me in trouble, think about what I said." He turneda round quietly, and left the room and went upstairs. Meanwhile, the rest of the family simply stared at Candace with disapproving, and in Linda's case, angry, looks.
"What? Mom, didn't you hear that pee-brain-"
"Candace!!"
"What? I'm just telling it like it is."
That was the last straw for everyone. So they all gathered their plates and drinks, and left the kitchen to eat somewhere else, probably in the living room. Candace was still raveling over Phineas yelling at her. But she was beginning to understand what he was getting at.
There's 104 days of summer vacation,
'Till school comes along just to end it,
So the annual problem for our generation,
Is finding a good way to spend it
Like maybe...
Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,
Discovering something that doesn't exist,
Or giving a monkey a shower
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,
Or driving our sister insane
This could possibly be the best day ever,
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be
a million and six times better,
So make every minute count
jump up, jump in and seize the day,
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!
Crossing the tundra or building a roller coaster.
Skiing down a mountain of beans,
Devising a system for remembering everything,
Or synchronizing submarines, racing chariots,
Taming tiger sharks, constructing a portal to mars,
Building a time machine, stretching a rubber tree
or wailing away on guitars,
This could possibly be the best day ever,
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be
a million and six times better,
So make every minute count to one,
Jump in and seize the day,
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!
Let's put our heads together and design a master plan,
We may miss dinner, but I know mom will understand...
We got our mission and suppliers, purple gumballs and desires,
A pocket full of rubber bands, the manual on handstands,
A unicycle compass, and a camera that wont focus,
And canteen full of soda, grab a beach towel here we go! (this is Ferb-tastic)
This could possibly be the best day ever,
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be
a million and six times better,
So make every minute count, jump up, jump in and seize the day,
And let's make sure that in every single possible way
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!
(Seriously this is gonna be a great day)
This could possibly be the best day ever (Today's Gonna be a Great Day)
This could possibly be the best day ever (Today's Gonna be a Great Day)
End of Prologue
Next Time: Find out what exactly led to this moment. Also, coming up is Perry's biggest mission ever!