Summary: Reflection on Yukimura's younger days. Minor spoilers.
Written for The Narrator's Memories Linger Challenge.
Disclaimer: I do not own Samurai Deeper Kyo anime, manga, or any of its characters. Kamijyo Akimine is the true legal and spiritual owner.
Bittersweet
She's gone.
Never to offer me that stronger than amicable hit to the face when I peeked through the bushes to watch her bathe.
Her slaps stung like no other but it was always secretly affectionate.
But she's long gone.
Never to eat the generous helpings of miso and rice which she always happened to have prepared when I was around.
Never to see her and feel her beauty and the smile that shone like no other.
I killed her. Maybe not directly so but close to it.
I didn't get there in time to protect the one that mattered the most. It was my first kill. And since then, I've killed hundreds.
But she was the only one that mattered.
With her death I finally accepted the responsibility that I long denied and pretended not to see.
To ignore the heavy burden of upholding the Sanada clan behind my stoic father and an obedient brother.
But the warrior chi that I've intentionally caged for so long within me finally broke out, never to be sealed again until my preordained death.
And it was all for nothing. Because I was too late to save her.
Many years have passed since she gave me the sword. The very last thing she passed on to me. I think of her every time I take the blade in hand. Wondering if I'm half as worthy of wielding it as her father was.
Because he kept her alive and I didn't.
Memories linger like bittersweet sake, its fermented vapors clinging to my senses before they fade away.
A/N – Whew. Never been a part of a challenge like this before. There's something to be said for writing under pressure. What a rush. Sorry for any editing errors.