A/N: Hey guys! It's one in the morning, and I can't sleep, so I decided to write this story, because it's been in my mind for the past few days. It's not too shabby, but I'm not great at doing James POV, and I've been experimenting with it lately, so let me know what's good/not so good. Let me know what you guys think with a review, they make me so happy! :D
Hope you enjoy, and feel free to check out any of my other fics! ;)
R&R ~8)
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, and do not own anything.
"I can't believe this is the last time we're going to sit in here together. It doesn't seem like it's really ending, does it?" Lily said, looking at me with her bright emerald eyes, the reflection of the dying fire dancing in them.
"No, it doesn't. It's surreal, to tell you the truth. I mean, we've spent the last seven years of our lives here, and now it's over… just like that." I said, running my hand through my hair thoughtfully.
"Just like that…" Lily whispered, mostly to herself, looking away from me and back to the fire.
Because her gaze was no longer fixed on me, I took the opportunity to memorize her in that moment. Her long red hair was splayed out across the arm of the couch we were sharing and her long legs were spread out, her feet lying in my lap. Her milky white skin was covered in what could be thousands of freckles, and her green eyes were shining, but not with the usual brightness they contained. They looked like they were gleaming with… tears?
"Lils? You okay?" I asked warily, so I wouldn't upset her even more.
She blinked, and looked back at me, taking a deep breath and saying in a shaky voice, "Are we going to see each other after Hogwarts?"
My heart skipped a beat. Was she worried we would lose contact? Did she care about me as much as I did for her?
After the best, but most painful year of my life, maybe Lily had discovered she actually did harbor feelings for me. Lily and I had finally become friends this year, after I had stopped hounding her to go out with me, but that's all we seemed to be.
Friends.
I'd spent the whole year trying to convince everyone I was over her, but the only person I couldn't seem to convince was probably the most important: me.
I had hoped that by stopping with the constant and futile attempts at asking her out, Lily might realize she held mutual feelings for me. The naïve kid inside of me hoped she would run into my arms, proclaim her undying love for me after seven years, and we would ride off into the sunset on my broomstick.
But that's not real life, is it?
Unfortunately, we can't all get our dream girl and live happily ever after.
"Of course we will, Lils. You couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted to." I said, giving her a wink, hoping to lighten up the mood.
It didn't seem to help though, because a tear slipped down onto her cheek. "Do you promise? James, you're one of my best friends, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to just exchange a few owls and then forget about each other completely, only seeing each other at class reunions and rubbish like that."
Moving her feet off of me, I scooted closer to her and put my arms around her in a comforting hug. "Lily, you're never going to lose me. I promise. That's not going to happen to us."
She shot me one of her beautiful crooked smiles and nestled her head in the crook between my neck and shoulder. Her head was a perfect fit, like it was made to rest there. Sighing, I mentally chastised myself for thinking like that. Thoughts like those would just end up hurting me in the end when she found some bloke who actually deserved her.
Lily Evans would always be the one. Even if she ended up marrying some other prat, there would always be a part of me that would hope she would just wake up one day and realize she loved me. Merlin, even if I ended up marrying someone else, I could never love her like I loved Lily. Being with Lily would make me the happiest bloke alive, but if being with me doesn't make her happy, then it's not worth it.
You know you're in love with someone when you put their happiness before your own.
"I'm going to call it a night. Goodnight, Potter." Lily said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She grinned at me playfully, before getting up and walking to her room, hesitating at her door before shutting it gently behind her.
"Goodnight, Evans." I said softly, despite the fact she couldn't hear me.
When the fire died out completely, I walked over to my bedroom, on the opposite side of the Common Room from Lily's. I got into bed, turned my light off, and tried to let sleep claim me.
Unfortunately, with a certain redhead on my mind, I spent a few hours tossing and turning before grabbing my wand and whispering 'Lumos.' I grabbed the Map, and silently said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The Marauder's Map revealed itself, and my eyes were drawn to the dot labeled James Potter. Out of habit, I turned my gaze to Lily's dot, and was surprised to see her moving around in her room. It looked like she was pacing back and forth quickly, which I knew happened to be one of her nervous habits.
Probably just nerves about leaving Hogwarts.
I watched as her dot walked toward her door, then stopped, turned around, and began pacing again. She did this a few more times and I fell asleep watching the Lily Evans dot frantically move about.
I didn't sleep for long, though. A loud rapping sounded at my door, waking me up and startling me, making me fall off of my bed with a loud thud. Looking at the Map, I saw that Lily was standing outside of my door, pacing again.
"What?" I muttered to myself, noticing it was still dark outside, and checking my watch to see that it was almost half past three. Seeing the time, I dismissed my initial thought that I had slept in late and we wouldn't make it on time for the train home.
Lily knocked again louder and more urgently, and I called, "Coming!" before whispering, "Mischief managed."
I stumbled tiredly to the door and whipped it open to find Lily with red rimmed eyes again, her lip trembling.
"Lily, what's the matter?" I said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She was shaking, and looked at me with such sadness that my heart broke.
"I need to talk to you." She said quietly, in a voice that sounded stronger than she looked.
"At three thirty in the morning?" I laughed, giving her a grin. She smiled softly back at me, although it didn't reach her eyes like her real smiles do. "Couldn't it wait until the morning?"
"No, it can't. I need to talk to you now." She said sharply, before adding in a soft whisper, "Please."
I nodded, and she hesitated before taking my hand, and leading me out into the Head's Common Room, sitting us down on the couch we had shared just hours ago. She didn't let go of my hand, much to my delight.
"James, you might hate me after I say this. You may want nothing to do with me, but I can't take it anymore, and I'm sorry…" she said, looking down at our intertwined hands. She nervously tapped her foot, and her eyes were full of anxiety.
"Wow Lils, what a conversation starter." I smirked, and she smacked me with her free hand, making me grumble an apology as she scolded me for interrupting her.
"No interrupting. It took all of my Gryffindor courage to do this. James, I don't think I can be your friend anymore." She said, looking at the empty fireplace. I opened my mouth, but she quickly said, "Silencio! Merlin, James, let me finish!"
Now having lost my speech, I just scowled at her and let her continue.
"I love being your friend, believe me. This year has been the greatest I've ever had. But I get this feeling when I'm with you. I just want to be with you all the time, and when I am with you, I'm just so… happy! I thought this feeling was just- hell, I don't know what I thought it was. But it was all I could think about - you were all I could think about! Then I talked to Alice, and she said, 'Oh Lily, you know what this means! That's exactly how I feel around Frank! You're starting to fall for him!' But of course, I just thought she was bonkers and she and Sirius were trying to get us together or something again. But nope, they didn't have to do anything for me to start fancying you; that was all you. See, I think I started falling for you last year when you tutored me in Transfiguration, and pulled all nighters with me just to help me study and get the tricky concepts, even when I told you it was okay if you went to sleep. You're a stubborn arse, though, and you wouldn't have any of it, would you? Stop scowling at me, I mean that in a good way! Then this year, I knew I was a goner. It was at that one particular Quidditch match, the one against Slytherin when it was pouring rain. Avery hit you with his broom on purpose, I saw because I was watching you- don't smirk at me like that! Anyways, I saw Avery ram his broom into yours, and you just fell and fell because you were so high up, and you hit the ground so hard that I thought... I was so scared. You were unconscious for almost three days, and I made Sirius promise not to tell you, but I borrowed your invisibility cloak and slept there at nights. I was so worried that you wouldn't wake up James. I realized that life is short, and I promised myself I would tell you how I feel by the end of the year. So, here we are, hours away from leaving Hogwarts forever, and I need you to know that I love you, James. Even though I know you've lost interest in me, and probably just want to be friends, I don't think-"
Unable to take it anymore, I grabbed her face with both of my hands and brought my lips to hers, seven years of built up passion finally being released. Lily was stunned at first, but then, finally realizing what was happening, threw her arms around my neck and eagerly returned the kiss. We stayed like that for a while, until she finally pulled back, face flushed and breathing heavy. I grinned like an idiot, leaning my forehead against hers.
She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. I pointed to my mouth, indicating that I couldn't and she smiled sheepishly as realization dawned on her, pulling out her wand to give me my voice back.
"Lily, you are so daft. In case you haven't noticed in the past seven years, all I want is to be with you. I haven't lost interest, in fact, trying to convince myself I was over you made me want to be with you even more than before. Lils, I'm so utterly and helplessly in love with you that it actually hurts. I don't want to be friends either. You're so much more than that to me. You're the one. Always have been, always will be." I said, cupping her face with my hands, her smile now completely reaching her dazzling green eyes.
Lily leaned forward and kissed me again, and I secretly pinched my leg to make sure this wasn't just a really wonderful, fantastic dream. Feeling the small, sharp pain that told me it was real; I smiled against Lily's mouth and pulled away. She pouted at the loss of contact, but her eyes gleamed devilishly at me.
"So that was you holding my hand when I was in the hospital wing? I just assumed it was Peeves, he's always had a special interest in me…" I laughed, making Lily giggle as well. She just nodded sheepishly, and I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.
"That's the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me, Lily." I said, softly, making her blush.
Suddenly changing my tone completely, I said, "So, Evans, I need to ask you a question…" I winked, giving her a crooked grin.
"Hmm, yeah Potter?" She said, playing along.
"Go out with me Evans?" I said, hoping she wouldn't notice the nervousness I was feeling. Even if we did just snog and profess our love for each other, every time I had asked this question in the past, it had always ended up with rejection and heartbreak.
"No." She said, her face stern and her voice sharp.
"Lily!" I exclaimed.
Her face broke into a huge grin. "I'm just yanking your wand James, of course!" She squealed, launching herself at me.
"I love you, Evans." I chuckled.
And finally, finally after seven years of waiting, she said the five words I had been waiting ages to hear from her.
"I love you too, Potter."
It was so worth the wait.