Hey everyone, and welcome to a brand new #DarkAsShadows story. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my writing, here's a warning: it's not happy. It's full of angst and darkness and character deaths, so this is not for the faint of heart. This story is especially light on the fluff, so if you feel like curling up into a ball of feels, go right ahead and read. If not, you might want to find something lighter.
Now that's out of the way, some background. Because she is one of the loveliest people I know, Bagilia forgave me for doing something horrible (shipping Caleb with someone who wasn't Hanna), and requested a dark/angsty Haleb story. Which is what this is. If you want true brilliance, though, go read her story 'My Heart With You' because it is amazing and will tear your heart to pieces.
For now, here is the first chapter of what will be a fairly short story, but it's intense. If I get enough of a response to this one I may write more Haleb in the future, because let's face it the show messed that up completely and we need something to satisfy ourselves. So follow, favorite, review, and I shall see you next time!
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Look at this heart shaped wreckage;
what have we done?
We've got scars from battles nobody won.
We can start over, better,
both of us know, if we just let the broken pieces,
let the broken pieces go.
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"You cheated on me." Hanna rubs her temple with the fingers on one hand as she uses the other to hold her cell. The words she has just echoed sound so foreign and yet terrifyingly true, but she won't let herself believe them. Maybe she misheard; maybe the words got jumbled somewhere down the line. Maybe he'll explain what he meant and they'll laugh at the misunderstanding and he'll drive down from Ravenswood to spend the night. Maybe it will be okay.
But he offers no explanations, only apologies. "I'm sorry, Hanna. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just -"
"When?" she interrupts, still not letting herself contemplate the fact that this might be true. That Caleb, the one person she trusted with her whole heart, has turned around and torn it to pieces.
Through the line, she can hear the sound of him swallowing nervously. "T-two weeks ago."
The words make Hanna sink to her bed, her legs no longer able to hold her up. She's been living a lie for the past two weeks. She'd gone through the days believing that Caleb was still loyal to her, even though he'd gone to Ravenswood. He'd let her believe that she was still his, that she still had his heart, that their entire relationship wasn't crumbling down around them.
"Hanna, talk to me," he says desperately, his voice crackling with static.
Leaning back, Hanna looks out the window. It's dark already, and through the dim glow of the streetlight she can see that a storm is gathering. Any minute now it will break, and if she's lucky it'll take her with it. "I have nothing to say to you," she says simply. "It's over. Goodbye, Caleb."
Then she hangs up the phone, letting it fall to the ground beside her. She waits for the tears, but they don't come. She is completely numb, frozen to the spot, weighted down by the knowledge that her boyfriend has betrayed her. And if she can't trust him, who does she have left?
Hardly aware of what she's doing, she pads through the empty house, down the stairs, ending up in the kitchen. She searches through drawers and cupboards and behind packets of cereal, finally finding the one thing that might give her the peace she now so desperately needs.
Outside, a bolt of lightning splits the sky in two.
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"Damn it." Caleb flings his phone across the room, not even flinching as it crashes against the wall. He presses his fist to his mouth, trembling. How could he have been so stupid? He shouldn't have told her over the phone – but he knows he never could have faced her and still had the courage to say what he needed to.
"Are you okay?" Miranda asks from where she's sitting over by the window.
He looks up at her and then away. There's no way to answer that question. He's just lost the love of his life, so how can he ever hope to be okay again? And after what he's just done, would he deserve it anyway?
He starts pacing around the small room, cursing everything he can think of: Ravenswood, for taking him away from his home; Miranda, for making him think he belonged here; himself, for making the biggest mistake of his life.
The rumble of thunder in the background isn't enough to interrupt his thoughts. They gather momentum as they race around his mind, pressing up against the edges of his brain in an effort to escape. But he will never be free of them, not until he makes things right.
"Caleb," Miranda says softly. "You did what you had to -"
He cuts her off, rounding on her with anger blazing in his eyes. "No. I shouldn't have done that."
Knowing that most of his anger isn't directed at her, Miranda merely lowers her gaze and says, "It was the right thing to do."
"Was it?" he shoots back, and Miranda just gives half a shrug, as lost as he is. From its place on the floor his phone beeps once, and he snatches it up, hoping for half a second that it might be Hanna. His hopes are soon dashed and he tosses the phone away again as he sees it's not from her. He doesn't care who it's from; there's no one else he'd want to talk to.
Another clap of thunder sounds, rolling over the hills like a wave, and Caleb makes up his mind. He grabs the nearest bag, shoves a few items into it at random, and picks up his phone, tucking it into his pocket. He's halfway to the door before Miranda realizes what he's doing. She doesn't bother to ask, because they both know where he's going. Instead she says, "Be careful."
He nods, not looking back, and then walks out the door. He's barely made it to his car by the time the rain starts; it skips the drizzle and sprinkle stages, diving right into a downpour. As he pulls onto the main road, the only road leading out of town, Caleb can barely see through the windshield. But he doesn't need to see.
Tonight, he's following his heart.
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Realizing how light the bottle feels, Hanna holds it up to the lamp, and feels disappointed when she sees that it's empty. She throws it aside, not even aware of how much wine she's had until she tries to stand up. The room sways around her and gravity pushes her back down, but she shrugs it off and stumbles over to the counter. Hauling herself upright again, she takes a few deep breaths.
The alcohol isn't having the desired effect. It isn't dulling the pain; if anything it's only filtering it, so that it's more of a magenta than a bright red. With each breath the truth reverberates through her body, making her feel unbearably cold. Suddenly the spacious kitchen seems suffocating, and no amount of deep breaths will calm her down.
Her mind takes a moment to catch up with her movements, so she's almost at the door by the time she realizes she's started walking. It takes her a couple of tries to grasp the doorknob, but finally she manages to wrench the door open. A flash of lightning illuminates the street before her as she takes her first step outside, and somehow even the old familiar houses on her block look menacing in the semi-darkness. It's like Caleb's confession has colored her world, tainting it, making everything seem sinister and darker.
The door closes behind her and she turns back to it, suddenly aware of just how heavily it's raining. But the door is locked, and she's not in any state to find the spare key hidden in one of the flowerpots near the path. Taking it as an omen, she turns her back on the door and walks down the path.
Within seconds she's soaked, but the alcohol creates a barrier so that she doesn't feel the cold. Time loses all meaning as she wanders the streets of Rosewood, lost in her thoughts. Between the chaos in her mind and the rain pouring down, Hanna begins to feel like she's drowning. But by this point she can't even tell where she is, so even if she wanted go home she's not sure she'd be able to find it.
After a while she ends up at the bridge on the outskirts of town, the wind flinging her hair wildly around her face and bringing tears to her eyes. Her stockings are ripped from falling over several times and she's carrying her shoes; even her legendary sense of balance isn't enough to counteract their effect when she's intoxicated.
She comes to a stop on the side of the bridge, her toes curled over the edge. Her shoes fall to the ground, and she doesn't even notice when one is swept away by the river of rainwater that's rushing through the gutter. She stares down at the water below; somehow she'd never noticed just how high above the river the bridge was.
The longer she stands there, the more desolate she feels. The torrents below her, turbid due to the pounding rain, suddenly seem inviting. She teeters on the edge of the bridge, on the edge of a decision, feeling sick and scared and, above all, heartbroken.
And in that moment, she knows she's ready to let go.
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Things look really bad for Haleb, I know. That said, I promise there's hope for them. But, well, you know what they say about hope...