Disclaimer for my sanity:
This story was written in 1999, so don't be too harsh on me :P
If this isn't the right format for a story, go ahead and take it down. I've seen other works in this format on this website and they're great, but if there's a problem with it by all means remove it.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
This is just a short, silly story taken from The Newlywed Game. I've seen others put the senshi on Jerry Springer, and even Oprah. I figured I'd put them on a game show made for couples. I would probably rate this PG-13. Enjoy!
-Samantha
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The Senshi Play The Newlywed Game
ANNOUNCER: Live from Hollywood, it's The Newlywed Game!
(Audience cheers)
ANNOUNCER: And here's today's contestants.
(Camera views Usagi and Mamoru making out in their seats)
ANNOUNCER: Uh… couple number one claims they've been engaged for the last millennium, and plan to get married in the 30th century.
(Camera now views Haruka and Michiru holding hands and staring at each other)
ANNOUNCER: Couple number two tell us that although all their friends are against the idea, they have been engaged for two years, and plan to get married sometime in the 30th century.
(Camera shows Naru and Umino arguing, then they notice the camera's on them, smile and wave)
ANNOUNCER: The last of our strange crowd today, couple number three, plan to be engaged and married in the near future. And now here's the star of the Newlywed Game, Bob Eubanks!
(Bob comes out from backstage and the audience cheers)
BOB: Hello and thank you. Welcome to the Newlywed Game, where we invite couples who plan to be married in playing a fun match-making game. I will ask each couple six questions, and whoever has the most matched answers at the end of the show wins a fabulous honeymoon vacation. The guys will be asked three questions first, so we'll ask the ladies to wait backstage.
(Usagi, Michiru and Naru walk backstage)
BOB: Now for our first question. Mamoru, which of the following is the most true? Usagi is more jealous than you, more argumentative than you, she's cheaper, or is she more full of it than you?
MAMORU: She'll kill me for this, but I'm gonna have to say she's more full of it.
BOB: Yep. She'll kill you. Haruka?
HARUKA: She's always been jealous of me, Bob.
BOB: Really? Umino?
UMINO: As you saw before the show, she's more argumentative than me.
BOB: Those went well. Now our next question. Since you two met, what is the most original spot you could have left a sign saying 'We went all the way here.'
AUDIENCE: Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh
BOB: Haruka, we'll start with you.
(Mamoru looks over to her on the verge of laughing)
HARUKA: Oh my God! You want me to say? Mamoru, shut up! To make that jerk over there happy, I'm gonna have to say we've been the most intimate in the shower.
MAMORU: Woah! You mean Michiru's let you do it more than once? Wow! I didn't even know you two ever-
(Haruka runs over and punches him out before he can finish. The security guys from Jerry Springer walk out, sit Haruka back down, and take the bleeding Mamoru backstage)
BOB: That's the first time that's ever happened. Um, we'll get Mamoru's answers during commercial when he's revived. Umino, where have you and-
UMINO: Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time. I think it was in our hotel room here in California last night. It must be 'cause we got kicked out for being too loud.
BOB: Um… I think I heard about that… Anyway, on to our last question. Umino, complete this statement. Mother Nature must have had a wicked sense of humor, or wouldn't of given my girlfriend a what that is so what ?
UMINO: Definitely an attitude that is so harsh.
BOB: Haruka?
HARUKA: A mind that is so predicting.
BOB: Thank you. We'll take a short break and be back with the girls' answers.
(Start of CM)
(End of CM)
BOB: We're back, and it's time for the fun. Mamoru is fine, and we got his answers during the commercial. The guys' questions are worth five points each. Now, Usagi, we asked Mamoru which of these is the most true. Did he say that you are more jealous than him, more argumentative, cheaper, or are you more full of it than him?
USAGI: I know he said argumentative because I usually whine when I don't get my way.
BOB: Sorry, but he told us you're more full of it than him.
(Usagi's mouth gapes open and she starts to cry rather loudly)
MAMORU: Gomen nasai, Usako.
USAGI: Don't call me that anymore! You're full of it!
BOB: Well, no points there. Michiru?
MICHIRU: Definitely more jealous.
BOB: That's right! Five points for you two and one step closer to the honeymoon vacation. Naru?
NARU: As you saw before the show, argumentative.
BOB: Also correct! Congratulations. Next question. We had some problems last time with this one, so I ask everyone to please stay in their seats this time. Michiru, since you two met, what is the most original spot you could have left a sign saying 'We went all the way here.'
(Haruka shoots an evil stare over to Mamoru, who looks away, biting his lip to restrain from laughing. The girls seem surprised by the question and all start giggling. Usagi and Naru stare at the blushing Michiru)
MICHIRU Still giggling: Um… Well… I guess of all the many times we've-
HARUKA: Michiru!
MICHIRU: Gomen. Uh, the best times had to be in the shower.
BOB: That's what Haruka said. It must have been special. Naru?
NARU: It was definitely that time in Umino's room six months ago!
BOB: Uh-oh. Umino told us last night in the hotel.
NARU: NANI? You call that more special than our first time?
UMINO: I guess I forgot.
NARU: FORGOT?
(Naru smacks Umino across the face)
BOB: Well, let's hope Usagi gets it right.
USAGI: Oh, I know this one! It was our first time back on the moon. Right Mamo-chan? Mamo-chan?
BOB: Well, Mamoru told us it was once in his car.
USAGI: NANI? You forgot too?
(She starts to cry again)
BOB: Uh, lets move on. Naru, we asked Umino to complete this statement about you. This is him talking. Mother Nature must have had a wicked sense of humor, or wouldn't of given my girlfriend a what that is so what ?
NARU: Probably an attitude that is so bad.
BOB: Judges? We'll count that.
(Naru actually kisses Umino)
BOB: Congratulations. Five more points. Usagi?
USAGI Still teary-eyed: Probably an attitude that's so terrible.
BOB: Well, backstage he said that it's a voice that's so annoying.
(Usagi starts to cry again even louder)
BOB shouting over Usagi's crying: Michiru, please get it right.
MICHIRU: I don't know. A schedule that is so busy?
BOB: How about a mind that is so predicting?
MICHIRU: I like that answer better.
BOB: We'll be back to ask the girls their questions after these messages.
(Start of CM)
(End of CM)
BOB: Welcome back. The guys, and Haruka, have been isolated backstage. Usagi, here's your first question. Lately, when it comes to romance, my boyfriend has been giving up, giving in, or giving it out?
USAGI: Mamo-chan's always been giving it out.
BOB: How sweet. Michiru?
MICHIRU: Giving it out.
BOB: Naru?
NARU: Umino's been giving up.
BOB: Really? How come?
NARU: He's just been acting like a piece of (beep) lately.
BOB: That's all I need to know. Uh, next, Michiru. What's the name of the last woman who flirted with him- I mean her?
MICHIRU: From what I know it was Makoto.
BOB: Thank you. First names only. Naru?
NARU: Well, to tell ya the truth, the last and only woman to flirt with him was me. Not like he's much to flirt with.
BOB: Well, I'm sorry. Usagi?
USAGI: It was most definitely Neherenia.
BOB: Neherenia? I've never heard that name before.
USAGI: Don't ask.
BOB: I won't. last question. Complete this statement. I honesty think he needs to see a psychologist because he actually loves to what , and I just don't think that's normal. Naru?
NARU: Umino has the stupidest mind to think he's smarter than everyone.
BOB: Usagi?
USAGI: Mamo-chan has let himself fall into the hands of evil women many times.
BOB: I'm not asking. Michiru?
MICHIRU: Haruka flirts with other girls while I'm around.
BOB: Other girls? While you're around?
MICHIRU: That's right.
BOB: The nerve. Well, that's all the questions. We'll be back to ask the guys when we return.
(Start of CM)
(End of CM)
BOB: We're back, and it's time to see how much the guys know about their girls. The first two questions are worth ten points. Mamoru, we first asked Usagi, lately, when it comes to romance, my boyfriend has been giving up, giving in, or giving it out?
MAMORU: I've been trying to give it out.
BOB: That's a match. Haruka?
HARUKA: I should hope I've been giving it out.
BOB: Also a match. Umino?
UMINO: Well, lately she'd say I've been giving up.
BOB: And that's what she said. Good job everyone.
(All three couples kiss each other. The audience has a delayed response to Haruka and Michiru kissing. They cheer louder)
BOB: If I may disturb you all, our next question is, what is the name of the last woman who flirted with you? Haruka?
HARUKA: Just yesterday at the hotel, this girl named Monique came up to me and immediately asked if I was sleeping alone that night.
MICHIRU: NANI? Why didn't you tell me about that? What'd you say?
HARUKA: I told her I am happily engaged and can't have anything to do with her.
MICHIRU: Good.
(She snuggles up to Haruka)
MAMORU: That's not what you told me. You told her you weren't seeing anyone and would be happy to-
MICHIRU: NANI? You told him before me and lied to me?
(Michiru starts to weep quietly)
HARUKA: Mamoru, do you have a death wish?
BOB: Can we settle this after the show please? Thanks. Umino?
UMINO: No woman's ever flirted with me besides Naru.
BOB: That's what she told us. Ten points. Mamoru?
MAMORU: It was definitely Neherenia.
BOB: Whoever that is, it's right. Now the last question. But before I ask, where's our winning couple going for their honeymoon vacation?
ANNOUNCER: It's a lovely Caribbean Cruise! You both will spend two fun-filled days and nights sailing the ocean on America's best cruise line! Back to you Bob.
BOB: Thank you. So far the scores are: Usagi and Mamoru have twenty points, Haruka and Michiru also have twenty points, and Umino and Naru are in the lead with thirty. This last question is worth twenty-five points, so it's still any couple's game. the final question is, in her words, I honestly thinks he needs to see a psychologist because he actually loves to what , and I just don't think that's normal. Umino?
UMINO: Well, I like to date other women.
NARU: NANI? You do?
(She punches him onto the floor and runs backstage)
BOB: We've never had that happen either. What a show this has turned out to be! Mamoru, if you get this right, you and Usagi are off to the Caribbean.
MAMORU: I have a habit of scratching myself.
USAGI BOB: NANI?
BOB: Now I'm catching on to your language. Sorry, but you have the weirdest habits I've ever heard of. She said you also seem to get abducted by evil women.
MAMORU: Oh, yeah. That too.
(Usagi starts her crying fit again)
BOB: It's all down to you, Haruka. Either you two or Naru and, well, Umino seems to be hurting at the moment.
(Umino is shown twitching on the floor)
HARUKA: The only thing I've always done is flirt with other girls.
BOB: That's a match and you two are our winners. Congratulations. We'll see you next time for a hopefully normal game. Good night everyone.
(The credits role and in the background Michiru and Usagi can be seen angrily pulling Haruka and Mamoru backstage)
- After the show -
Usagi, Mamoru, Haruka and Michiru are outside the studio. Michiru pushes Haruka against the wall and turns to Mamoru.
"Now what's all this shit about Haruka and Monique?"
"Michi, honey, it's nothing. Really-"
"Shut up, blonde, I'm not talking to you!"
"Michiru, I've never seen you like this."
"Do you know something too, Usagi?"
"No, no, nothing."
"Well, Mamoru?"
"Uh, Haruka told me yesterday that she told Monique she wasn't seeing anyone, and she took her to dinner at a dance club. They gave each other their numbers and left."
"Arigato, Mamoru-san. You're a good friend."
"Michi, I'm tellin' you, nothing happened. I was just-"
"I don't wanna hear it, Haru-chan! You lied to me! Let's go home. You're sleeping on the couch for a month!"
"A month! But Michi-"
" Shush! I'll deal with you when we get home. Here, you two better take these tickets. I'll be too busy convincing her to never even look at another girl again."
"Good luck, Haruka-san!"
"Arigato, Usagi-chan. Ja ne."
"Sayonara! Well, Mamo-chan, it looks like we've got two tickets to a Caribbean Cruise."
"I love you, Usako."
"I love you, Mamo-chan."
- THE END -