Haldir's Fangirls

by Aria Breuer

"Is this really necessary?" Haldir asked his brothers, but was plopped down on a chair before anyone could say anything further. He moved a lock of golden hair away from his head, brushing off the dirt on his elven robes. Wait… it was too silent for this. "Excuse me! What's going on here?" Featuring Haldir, Legolas, Frodo, and Pippin.

Disclaimers: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien does.

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Yes, I am one of Haldir's fans who was shocked to see Haldir die in The Two Towers live-action film. Well, anyway, here is a fanfic that focuses on Haldirmance. Let's see what happens. :)

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"Is this really necessary?" Haldir asked his brothers, but was plopped down on a chair before anyone could say anything further. He moved a lock of golden hair away from his head, brushing off the dirt on his elven robes. Wait… it was too silent for this. "Excuse me! What's going on here?"

"Now, you will choose a bride," said a peculiar hobbit voice.

"I am choosing no bride!" Haldir said, standing up.

"You stand up, you get slimed!" said another hobbit voice.

"Pippin!" said a third hobbit voice.

"This is ridiculous," Haldir said, shaking his head at the darkness. "Whatever is going on, you will pay."

"Who do you choose?" asked the first hobbit.

"Who are you?" Haldir said, looking about the room. Nope. There was a splash. No! He was slimed.

"Told you that would happen," said the first hobbit voice. "Now bring on the girls!"

"No! No, no, no. I resign," Haldir said, moving away from the chair and bumping into a bunch of girls. "Oh. Girls…" he darted out of the room and past the doors. He made it. He was free and back to Lothlorien. Now for a shower.

"Haldir…" the hobbit's voice was in the air. "You still have to pick one."

"No!" Haldir told the voice.

"What? That's not how it works. How are you supposed to be romantic? Wait. What am I asking?" the first hobbit asked, quizzical.

"Hm. Well, there's no girl who'll take my heart… hullo." Haldir said, facing a fangirl. "Can we talk?"

"Yes," the fangirl told him, cheery.

"Yes, well… goodbye," Haldir said, running away.

"And so it begins… again. But I will find him yet!" the fangirl squealed.

"I doubt that!" Haldir said, meeting up with Legolas.

"Come on. We'll escape them yet!" Legolas said, taking the charge towards Caras Galadhon.

Haldir was relieved when they found refuge under the tall mallorn trees. Good. At least the blonde haired Mirkwood elf did something right. And that was always a good thing to have around: a true friend who understood when to evade fangirls. Yes, it was a good day.

The End.

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Thanks for reading. :)