Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author Note: Warning for talk of mental health issues.
SAFE HAVEN
Sebastian had definitely left that chair in a different position. But there it was, pushed aside, like someone had walked through the room in a hurry. Because, ah there he was. Cade LaSalle was sat curled up against a wall. He didn't acknowledge Sebastian.
Sebastian took a couple of deep breaths, even after a few weeks of this he automatically went into panic mode after noticing that his workspace had been altered without his knowledge. Okay, he could focus on that later. He moved the chair back and surreptitiously checked for signs that anyone had taken advantage of Cade's access to the lab to mess around or plant something that they thought Sebastian wouldn't notice. Being frequently watchful was completely healthy, especially when it was justified.
He began focusing on the team's current investigations; there were mystery substances and weapons to identify. In a couple of hours he might be able to call in the cavalry.
That reminded him. Sebastian sent a quick text message to Chris, just to let him know where his brother was. Chris worried about Cade, especially when he couldn't locate him. Understandable, considering, well considering what Sebastian might have read in Cade's medical records. A legitimate action on his part once Cade had began spending more time in Sebastian's lab. It was good to have access to all available information; Sebastian didn't want to make anything worse.
He began humming; it was a tune that he tended to often repeat around Cade. He wasn't sure why exactly, it just seemed to fit. He kept half an eye on Cade and kept his computer systems ticking over before looking over a revolver that'd been found at a recent crime scene. Today was apparently a low day for Cade so that meant he'd be squatting quietly in Sebastian's lab for a while, which was fine. Sebastian was getting used to the whole 'no warning' aspect of their unspoken arrangement. He was used to Cade's presence now and had come to find it oddly soothing and stimulating too, when it came to his work. Sebastian tried not to think about that too hard and tried not to disturb their status quo.
He kept his footsteps deliberate so that Cade had an idea of where he was at all times. After he'd worked on the revolver, he focused his attention on the checkers board that was now permanently set up by a window. Sebastian studied the board, Cade had noted down his last move on the nearby pad, sometimes there was a thumbnail sketch there too or a comment about something Sebastian had said or done. They were usually pretty sharp and definitely amused. Not always amusing though. Sebastian wrote back.
He frowned at the board and cocked his head; he went to move a piece but jerked his hand away at the last moment.
"I know what you're doing, but you're not going to get me that way. No, this is not going to be a repeat of game eight. It can't be, again." Sebastian moved a piece and noted it down, as well as a warning that Anderson was going to be on security duty tomorrow and he wasn't stranger-friendly even if Cade did now possess a pass which permitted him to be there. "There, figure that strategy out."
He turned away from the board and then quickly looked at it again. He hadn't made a mistake, had he? Cade hadn't glanced his way but Sebastian gave him a narrow-eyed look anyway. He was sure that Cade would see it and he liked looking at Cade too so.
Sebastian's phone beeped, thank God – Pride wanted a progress report. Okay so them coming to the lab was a bad idea, Sebastian replied that he'd met them in autopsy. By now, they knew why he asked for that arrangement.
Sebastian checked his readouts, a conclusion confirmed. Yes! He spun happily on the spot and only felt slightly embarrassed when he glanced towards Cade. He didn't look like he'd been out all night which was good. Cade might not still be there when Sebastian got back though, maybe he'd meet up with Chris later.
"Oh, there's gumbo in the fridge, I used crab this time. And the coffee's still pretty good."
Sebastian took a last look at Cade, because Chris would want to know how his brother seemed, and then quickly exited the lab. Things to do, things to do, and Loretta had said that she'd probably have something for him to examine come lunchtime.
In the mornings, Sebastian tended to keep the lights in his lab low. Sometimes Cade was sleeping when Sebastian got in. Cade never touched any of the evidence; he just found himself a spot and stayed there for a few hours. Maybe it was the quiet and the space. Sebastian liked that Cade felt safe or at least that he liked being there. That was a good thing, better in Sebastian's lab than Cade disappearing and Chris getting that look on his face again. It wasn't a good look.
So Sebastian brought in jambalaya, po-boys and beignets, he left them in the fridge or on the countertop and made sure that there was plenty of coffee and chilled water available. He played games of checkers against an opponent that he never actually saw make a move in person. It was his new normal and his work wasn't all that disturbed or slowed down so Sebastian didn't complain.
Chris came to visit him, when Sebastian hadn't called to give an update about work or Cade, because Cade wasn't there. He must have been having a good week. That was good. It was weird now though, working for days at a time without Cade in a corner somewhere.
"Hey, what's up? I'm still running tests so-."
"I'm not here about that." Chris looked serious so was that good or bad? "I just wanted to say thanks, for being there for my brother. Whatever you're doing, I reckon it's helping him stay put. That's been a real weight off my mind, knowing he's okay."
Sebastian's expression widened in surprise, "I don't really do anything. I mean, I sort of hum a...never mind. He likes my jambalaya so there's that and he's actually got a lot to say on paper when he's not playing a really...strong game of checkers."
"Sebastian, he's here, not on the road or disappearing again, I don't have to tell my Mom that Cade's gone and I don't know where to. That's huge, man. So just take the gratitude, okay?"
Sebastian really didn't think he was doing anything particularly worthy of Chris' gratitude. Sure, he was giving up precious lab space to a relative stranger and he was feeding Cade free of charge but the guy was quiet and if anything he was helping Sebastian, keeping his thoughts stimulated. It was good for his work. That was all. Sebastian was absolutely sticking to that, especially around any trained investigators.
The first time, it hadn't been say a huge shock that Sebastian had entered his lab to find someone already occupying it because Loretta had recently gotten really determined about making him share his workspace with strangers. It was really unhelpful when Sebastian was, you know, in the zone and there was someone there, using his specifically calibrated equipment and changing his playlist and God, Sebastian just knew how he, his equipment and environment worked best, you know?
Still, he'd been startled when he'd opened his lab door and had found a lump of sleeping scrunched-up but weirdly familiar-looking person occupying the floor by one of tables. Sebastian had swallowed down a yelp and had immediately reached for his phone to call security. People slept rough in doorways and sometimes they got inside and this guy had looked like he might have fallen on hard times. But there'd been that familiar-looking cast to the stranger's features that'd made Sebastian pause. Had he walked past this guy before? Seen him in a bar maybe? Or selling something?
He'd made sure that his phone had been switched to silent and had taken a quick photo for a round of facial recognition. His heart had been racing pretty hard and he'd probably been sweating, had he been sweating? Security hadn't been that far away, if this guy had pinged any alarms than Sebastian had planned to get out of there very quickly. He'd hate to lose his lab but he'd hate to lose himself even more.
While the software had whirled rapidly through available databases, Sebastian had peered at the guy from a safe distance. There'd been something about the shape of the stranger's eyes, the way he'd been bowing down against his own arms, Sebastian had been sure he'd seen that position before. Then he'd realized – Chris LaSalle, so this had to be his brother Cade, much-talked about and missed by Chris until recently. He'd started staying with Chris; there'd been talk that he'd refused to take his medication, hating what it did to him despite the benefits. Sebastian had sympathized; he had his own history in that department.
So he'd messaged Chris to let him know where his brother was and had then tried to start his work as quietly as possible, his gaze frequently skating back to the stranger sitting his lab, his heartrate still going fast. Some things really hadn't changed.
On Cade's good days, Sebastian didn't see so much of him. Cade was probably enjoyed New Orleans, making friends and spending time with his brother. Sebastian would study the checkers board and think about making a move. He'd listen for the sound of breathing that wasn't there, not on those days.
He didn't see Cade on days when he went too high either, the good feeling turning to mania according to Chris. He'd repainted Chris' house once on a day like that, and he drank too much or loved too much or something. Too much of a good thing. Yeah. Usually after that, came the low days, the lab days.
Sebastian spent his evenings online, spilling a lot of blood. He always made too much gumbo now, bad days or not. That was probably a bad habit, a waste. He didn't stop though because eventually, Cade would be back in the lab, silent and watchful, well, silent except for what he put down on paper. Sebastian was used to talking to people like that, without actually talking. He was better at the written word than at people understanding any of his audible conversations. Sebastian's skin prickled when Cade looked at him. He cleared his throat, hummed and talked when he couldn't help it because he needed to talk through his work sometimes. That seemed to be okay with Cade, at least he stayed put and his expression didn't tip in a negative way. It made Sebastian smile quietly.
Brody had met Cade on a couple of his good days. She teased Chris about it. Sebastian had heard other stories too. Cade was charming and loved by a lot of people. Thinking about how Cade might sound and act when he was out of the lab, having a good day, made Sebastian's insides behave in a strictly non-quantative manner. So he did his best not to think about that around Chris, that would have been awkward and mortifying.
Online, online was good. Sebastian buried himself there and tried not to backslide and still kept up what he'd been trying after that conversation with Pride; he met up with friends in person too.
He played checkers online and tried to scientifically perfect more recipes. Somehow Pride's food always tasted better. He claimed that was down to instinct and natural talent – something else that frustratingly couldn't be measured or quantified.
The next day at work, Sebastian wrote a note offering to lend Cade some DVD boxsets. He had downloads too that he could send on of course but he got the feeling that Cade and Chris were more likely to respond to DVDs.
Sebastian didn't question Cade, even though he really wanted to. He didn't touch Cade, he gave him his space and let him process and do what he wanted without crowding him. Cade felt safe in the lab, safe enough to keep coming back. Sometimes Sebastian thought that he heard Cade say things under his breath, he never asked for clarification. Cade would sleep or sit and keep quiet, lost in his own thoughts. Sometimes he moved quickly like he didn't want anybody to see.
Sebastian got the feeling that Cade didn't like himself much after his too-high and low days. but he clearly didn't like how he felt when medicated either so too-high and low it was. At least that was all him, nothing dulled. Sebastian understood that. Not that he'd ever say anything to Cade about it but maybe Cade could tell.
Sebastian liked Cade's eyes, the way that he sometimes saw Cade smile. He liked that Cade almost daily wrote him back beside their checkers game. Cade wanted to borrow some TV DVD boxsets, Sebastian was looking forward to working on a comprehensive list.
Maybe Cade didn't want to see Sebastian on his good days because at that point he was probably trying not to think about his other days. Yeah, Sebastian could understand that.
And he doubted Cade would have been interested anyway, in seeing him outside the lab, or talking to him then.
Loretta kept looking at Sebastian like she was waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, she squeezed his shoulder and told him he was going out with her for drinks and dancing. Sebastian was fine with the former but definitely not the latter. He had gumbo and beignets to perfect and...that was enough, he was happy to help. He'd be back at his lab, humming and waiting, hoping to win.
-the end
