Disclaimer:
I obviously don't own Paradise Kiss or anything remotely associated with the series, I just wrote this humble offering of a fanfic.
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"Young Master," Sebastian called.
"Sebastian," I replied, exasperated with him. He would never understand my longing to be treated like a normal young lady. Then again, I thought, I wasn't exactly a normal young lady. Curse the body that God gave me, all of it.
Ever since I was young, I had watched the little girls with a tinge of jealousy: getting made over by their mothers, decked out in lace and frills, allowed to behave so foolishly. They didn't have to pretend to be strong and manly like the little boys, like me. I was taught to pretend that I was the brave soldier who would fight dragons, who would save the damsels in distress. And the little girls would always sit there in their oceans of silk and lace, just waiting for someone to rescue them.
The reason that I backed away from these games was not because I was afraid-- oh, no. I would sit and watch them all, admiring the girls and wishing desperately to be like them. And of course I remember the day that I was found out. The day that George caught me staring at them.
I had tried to hide it from my friend for a long time, and it had worked up until that point. I can still remember his icy eyes when he handed me the dress- his first creation- the one that he had made for me.
So isn't it only natural for me to love him? He's the one who saved me, who showed me that it was all right if I wanted to be like them, that not everyone is the same. There are many different kinds of people in the world, he once said to me. Although we were young, I saw in his eyes that he possessed a wisdom beyond that of any other person I had ever known, young and old alike.
Over the years, I have watched that wisdom transform into what it is today: a power that he uses to fuel his talents and his control over others. I watched him manipulate people in the most subtle ways, watch him smirk at their demise when they find out what he has been doing all along. I watched those delicious lips curve into that secretive smile of his, knowing that no one could ever outdo him.
It was all fine, until she showed up. That girl, the one with the incredibly long legs and contemptuous expression. I wish she wouldn't talk to me as if we were friends. I've seen her with him, I've seen the way she looks at him. She has no idea what she is getting herself into; she doesn't even know George. I know George better than anyone. I know his hopes, his dreams, and I know everything which he desires. And I would be willing to give him all of it-- anything he asked for, I would give. She has no idea, no clue what he wants. Even if she did, I don't think she would know how to give it to him.
And so, you see, I've become confused lately. Why does he look at her like that? Why does he spend his time with her? Unless he is slowly sucking her power from her in order to obtain something (which is not believable, seeing as how the girl has nothing to offer), this is a side of George, my George, that I have never witnessed before.
I've always watched the little girls with envy. Ever since I was young, I did this. But I have never watched them with the venom I choke back each and every time I look at her. She's not different, she's the same as everyone else. She's nothing special. But I can't tell him that. I am, after all, the lady that he molded me into.
And, oh, the irony. When I think of it that way, I wonder if he was ever true to me at all. Perhaps I was just one of the many that he manipulated?
When I reflect back on his expression that day long ago when I cautiously re-entered the room that he sat waiting in, I know that can't be the case. The only thing for me to do, then, is to make him realize that I am the one meant for him. Yukari could never hope to be what I am to him. George must be just playing with her, just like he does with everyone. Right?
Right?
I obviously don't own Paradise Kiss or anything remotely associated with the series, I just wrote this humble offering of a fanfic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
"Young Master," Sebastian called.
"Sebastian," I replied, exasperated with him. He would never understand my longing to be treated like a normal young lady. Then again, I thought, I wasn't exactly a normal young lady. Curse the body that God gave me, all of it.
Ever since I was young, I had watched the little girls with a tinge of jealousy: getting made over by their mothers, decked out in lace and frills, allowed to behave so foolishly. They didn't have to pretend to be strong and manly like the little boys, like me. I was taught to pretend that I was the brave soldier who would fight dragons, who would save the damsels in distress. And the little girls would always sit there in their oceans of silk and lace, just waiting for someone to rescue them.
The reason that I backed away from these games was not because I was afraid-- oh, no. I would sit and watch them all, admiring the girls and wishing desperately to be like them. And of course I remember the day that I was found out. The day that George caught me staring at them.
I had tried to hide it from my friend for a long time, and it had worked up until that point. I can still remember his icy eyes when he handed me the dress- his first creation- the one that he had made for me.
So isn't it only natural for me to love him? He's the one who saved me, who showed me that it was all right if I wanted to be like them, that not everyone is the same. There are many different kinds of people in the world, he once said to me. Although we were young, I saw in his eyes that he possessed a wisdom beyond that of any other person I had ever known, young and old alike.
Over the years, I have watched that wisdom transform into what it is today: a power that he uses to fuel his talents and his control over others. I watched him manipulate people in the most subtle ways, watch him smirk at their demise when they find out what he has been doing all along. I watched those delicious lips curve into that secretive smile of his, knowing that no one could ever outdo him.
It was all fine, until she showed up. That girl, the one with the incredibly long legs and contemptuous expression. I wish she wouldn't talk to me as if we were friends. I've seen her with him, I've seen the way she looks at him. She has no idea what she is getting herself into; she doesn't even know George. I know George better than anyone. I know his hopes, his dreams, and I know everything which he desires. And I would be willing to give him all of it-- anything he asked for, I would give. She has no idea, no clue what he wants. Even if she did, I don't think she would know how to give it to him.
And so, you see, I've become confused lately. Why does he look at her like that? Why does he spend his time with her? Unless he is slowly sucking her power from her in order to obtain something (which is not believable, seeing as how the girl has nothing to offer), this is a side of George, my George, that I have never witnessed before.
I've always watched the little girls with envy. Ever since I was young, I did this. But I have never watched them with the venom I choke back each and every time I look at her. She's not different, she's the same as everyone else. She's nothing special. But I can't tell him that. I am, after all, the lady that he molded me into.
And, oh, the irony. When I think of it that way, I wonder if he was ever true to me at all. Perhaps I was just one of the many that he manipulated?
When I reflect back on his expression that day long ago when I cautiously re-entered the room that he sat waiting in, I know that can't be the case. The only thing for me to do, then, is to make him realize that I am the one meant for him. Yukari could never hope to be what I am to him. George must be just playing with her, just like he does with everyone. Right?
Right?