DISCLAIMER: Trigun and its characters belong to Yasuhiro Nightow.
Did You Love Him?
Milly's voice rang with the conviction of her words. "Nick had his problems, but he was a good man with a good heart. He was funny and charming and kind and never said a mean word to me. He took a lot of inspiration from you, Mr. Vash, and tried to be better than he was. I'll never regret the time we had."
Glasses clinked. "To Wolfwood!"
Meryl said, "I never knew him to be a bad person except to other bad people. The fact that Milly seems to have had a special place in his heart says it all."
"To Wolfwood!"
Vash's turn. "A flawed man, a lousy preacher, and a great friend. Gone too damn soon, but he gave his life for the three of us."
"To Wolfwood!"
They raised their tumblers of scotch and drank. Wolfwood had never been much of a wine drinker, so they were using single-malt scotch instead. It was expensive, but Wolfwood had appreciated quality.
Ceremony completed, Milly excused herself from the dining room and went to stand on the back deck, alone with her thoughts.
Meryl rose from her seat at the round table to sit next to Vash, who was staring at the bottle of scotch, dark memories echoing through his mind. He was getting through to Wolfwood, at the end. He could have saved him. Milly could have had a life with him. If only things had been different. If only they'd had more time for Vash to show him what was practical wasn't always right.
If only…
"He was quite a man, wasn't he?"
Vash looked up at Meryl. "Yeah."
Meryl hesitantly placed a hand over his. She didn't want to go where she was headed, but had to know. "Did you love him?"
Vash blinked. "I…He understood what it's like to walk the path of violence when you don't want to. He understood that part of me. And he had my back."
"But did you love him?" Gently, but still pressing.
"I could count on him. In a sense, he knew what it was like to be me."
"But did you love him?" Meryl had to know!
Vash couldn't figure out why Meryl was pushing so hard on this. How do you not love someone you've bled with?
"Yes, I loved him."
And there it was. Meryl took her hand away, willing the tears not to come. He reached for her hand again, not understanding what he'd done wrong.
"It's ok," Meryl told him. "I get it. I've wondered for so long, but now I know." Sorrow filled her, spilling over into her voice, as she rose to leave. "I could never be with you, because you love him…not me." Her voice cracked on the last part, and she turned to leave while she still could.
Comprehension dawned. Vash got up and placed his hand on her shoulder, forcefully turning her around and pulling her into his arms. Meryl brought her fists up, the tears coming in force now, and pounded at his chest to make him let go. He held tight.
"Let me go! Vash, just let me go, please! I can't take looking at you when you're in love with someone else!" She struggled to get away.
"Meryl!" Vash held her squirming form tight. "Meryl, listen to me! Not like that! We were brothers in blood, ok?"
Meryl kicked at his shins, hard. He grunted in pain, but still held on.
"Listen to me, damn it! I'm not in love with Wolfwood, I'm in love with you!"
Meryl stopped fighting and looked up. Vash smiled and brushed away some of her tears. "Yes, you beautiful idiot. I think you just kneecapped me, but I'm in love with you."
"What about –"
"I loved him in a way, because he understood part of me. But Meryl, you understand, too. And you do something Wolfwood couldn't."
He kissed her, and it felt like her heart was on fire. Softly, he explained: "You make me human."