The Hospital Ending
"Get that gun away from me, psycho!"
The gun goes off. I cower in my hiding spot, wishing I could simply disappear. Why does this need to happen? What kind of world does this?
Nathan's sniveling is white noise in the background. Chloe's gasp rings in my ears louder than any gunshot could. She's dying, and I have to let it happen. She wanted me to do this. It's the only way. I can't save her, I can't, I can't, I can't.
Why does she need to die? I caused all of it. The town's destruction is my fault, and she needs to die? How is that fair? How does that make sense?
A familiar tugging pulls from within. I feel the edges of my perception begin to haze. I will lose control soon, go back to the present. A present where Chloe is dead for no good reason.
No.
I grit my teeth and reach out with my hand, willing reality to be undone. The scene plays backwards, words garbled and sounds distorted until they stop and I can go back no longer.
No, she doesn't need to die. She didn't do a damn thing. Only one of us is guilty. It's time to stop hiding from it.
No Max Caulfield, no time traveling fuckups, no supertornado. Simple enough.
The butterfly flies away, and with it any doubts left in my mind. I quickly pull out a post-it note and scribble a few words on it. She'll need some direction on what to do.
The door opens. They do their routine. I wait for just the right moment, then outstretch my hand, tapping into a slightly different well. The world seems to cloud around me, as though choking me, resisting what I'm trying to do.
Come on, Max. You did it once, with Kate. Ignore the pain. You know what you're capable of.
Suddenly the fog clears, and the room falls in dead silence. I look at them and they are like mannequins posed in some twisted tableau. Nathan's mindless rage. Chloe's eye-watering panic. As I struggle to get closer warmth flows onto my lips, my head feels about to split open. What does it matter anymore? It will be over soon.
I take the note and leave it inside her jacket pocket. Without giving myself time to think I wedge myself between them. Just do it. Press your chest against the muzzle, line it up just right. If I have to die in this dirty bathroom, I'd rather it happened quickly. I only get one shot at this one.
Hah. Nice pun, Super Max.
Go.
"Get that gun away from me, psycho!"
The gun goes off. Nathan stumbles back. "Whatever the fuck!"
You know how it feels when you jump into cold water in a cool day? The sudden seize of your whole body, the overpowering chill, the gooseflesh...it felt just like that.
"What...M-Max?"
I'm lying on the floor. My head hit one of the stalls. I can't breathe. Everything hurts a lot.
"Max!"
There is thrashing out there, people struggling, and yelling, and loud thuds and bangs.
It'll be over soon.
"On the floor, Prescott!"
"David! David, please help!"
"What happened here?"
"He had a gun, and she...she came out of nowhere! Please, help her..."
"Stand back, Chloe. Call an ambulance right now. Come on, go! And you stay down, punk!"
Nathan is crying and talking gibberish. Chloe rushes off. I'm drowning, gasping for breaths that won't come. I didn't expect this to be so painful. There's supposed to be a bullet in my heart. How can this take so long? It's so weird to feel the floor tiles on my cheek.
Hurry up, fate. Take your goddamn pound of flesh already. That's all you ever wanted, isn't it? Just some innocent life to pay this arbitrary toll for whatever fucked up reason. Well, it's over now. Here it is, come and take it.
Just leave Chloe alone. Leave her alone. Please.
A familiar tugging pulls from within. Everything around me becomes a distant haze. The present calls through the photo. I glimpse beyond the film, and there is only blackness.
...be so stupid? I don't see you for five years, and then you take a bullet for me? You should've let things happen. Fuck you, Max, fuck you for doing this, I can't believe you did this...
...junkyard and they found Rachel. You knew, didn't you? This is so messed up. I'm not going crazy, right Max? You really did just pop into my arms, in front of that gun. How'd you do that? How'd you give me that note? Nothing makes sense...
...storm outside. Looks pretty bad. We should be safe here, one way or another. Hope mom and David are alright. Bet Step-Soldier's got her back, at least I can count on that. Hey, want some music on? Maybe you'll get up and start shaking that bony ass already...
...pulls up his giant sword and tears through the weird demon cocoons. The girl is standing by the elf-bee demon thing, looking at Guts hella scared. "He looks like one of them," she says. Oh dude, this next panel is awesome, he's going crazy again with flames all over him, just trashing the place. Man, that's some sweet artwork, so dark...I wish you could see it. Maybe I should have brought an actual book to read to you, huh? Whatever, this is so much cooler. He swings that huge slab of iron at the demons, all like, *whoom, whooom*, there's blood everywhere...
...came clean to them. You were so right. I've been such a self-absorbed asshole, lashing out, being a fucking brat. They're gonna help me with Frank's money as long as I work somewhere part-time, and that's fair. But I want to go back to school, Max. You did this for me somehow, it's time I...
...believe your parents treat me this way. I'm the shitstain that got their perfect daughter shot, they should've kicked me out of here a long time ago. But they treat me like this never happened, like I'm the same girl having a sleepover at their place. Like...we're family. They don't say anything bad about me to you, do they? You'd tell me, I know you would...
...real mad if you don't come back. I'm warning you. Don't you dare slip away. I don't even care how or why you did it. You have to come back. You have to come back, Max...
Waves swell and ebb all around me. My world is a sea of static with words flowing in-between, like flotsam in a shipwreck. I try to hold on to them, to keep afloat. Every moment feels like drowning.
The tide recedes. The tide comes in. The tide goes out to sea and leaves me stranded on the sand, ragged, helpless.
I try to crack an eye open and wish I hadn't. The flash of white is blinding torment. Best to keep my eyes shut for now.
Somewhere in my skull I find my mouth. I feel like I've been searching for a long time.
"C..."
It's barely a breath, yet someone stirs nearby. Is she here?
Somewhere in my mouth I find my tongue.
"Chloe..."
There is a gasp. I feel my hand being tightly squeezed. I try to squeeze back.
"Chloe..."
"Nurse!" Someone yells while nearly crushing my fingers. It's mom. "Nurse!"
There's bustling of some kind, but the static is coming back. I'm exhausted, actually. That was a lot of work.
"My baby...Max, Maxine, talk to me, please."
It's alright, mom. I'm here, wherever that is. I'm squeezing back, see? I...I think I'm squeezing back, anyway. I'm just so tired right now. I'll talk to you later, I promise.
The waves swell and crash. The tide comes in...
...feel so special. Vanessa said you woke up and called my name. Between your note and your advances, I'm going to start getting ideas, Miss Caulfield. We better talk soon before I get too carried away...
...arrested the other day. Figures that they'd put him away after I pay him off. Don't know what they caught him doing, exactly. I could get David to find out I guess, but honestly who gives a shit? Ever since Rachel turned up Frank said he wouldn't sell drugs ever again, but I don't know. The man's got to eat, and he sure as hell never took a job. Wonder what'll happen to the dog...
...Max. Max. Max, come on. I know you're there. Doctors say there's no reason for this. They got to you in time, they treated you properly. You should be up and about, missing lung lobe and all. Come on, you were so close the other day. I'm gonna be so mad if you give up now. I'm right here. Just...call my name again. Please? Please...
...shot out of her hand and fell through the cracks between floorboards. Her last bullet. Heather threw herself behind the porch bench, barely avoiding another salvo. "Meddlin' bitch, this ain't none a' yer business!" Tanner yelled. Under the ringing in her ears Heather listened to the clicks and clacks of his reloading. This was her last chance. With her heart in her throat she leaped from behind cover...
"Are you..."
Those are words. They come out of my throat. I want to keep going but my voice just...stops.
She interrupts herself. Opening my eyes only brings agony, but I can imagine how she's looking up from the book, staring.
"Max?"
My throat feels like it's lined with sandpaper. I do my absolute best to push the rest past my lips.
"Are you seriously...reading to me about a girl...getting shot at?"
"Holy shitballs. Max."
Her hand is on my shoulder, gripping it like I'm about to vanish. I try to open my eyes again. It's so damn bright.
"Maybe you could...turn off the lights?"
"Y-yeah, yeah, of course. Be right back. Holy shit, man, holy shit..."
She flips a switch, and the glare becomes faint daylight that I might bear eventually. Dusk, then? Early morning?
"Max...Max, is this real? Is this happening?"
My hand twitches and feebly seeks hers. She cradles it like it's a wounded bird. "Hey, don't tire yourself now, take it easy. I need to call the nurses, and your parents, I promised—"
"No...no, Chloe...wait, I need..."
She sits next to me, hanging on every sound and gesture I make. Blurry shapes are slowly finding their edges. I can distinguish the blue hair, the pale skin, the black T-shirt. Her hair is longer. Blonde roots are showing. Are those pigtails? That is the cutest thing I've ever seen.
"Is Joyce...okay?"
"My mom? Yeah. She's fine. I can't believe—"
"David? The Bay?"
"Y-yeah, it's all there. Who cares about that? How are you feeling?"
"Water..."
"Of course. Right here. Straw and everything."
Sipping on the cup makes me think of trying to drink the ocean. How can something so simple feel so taxing?
"Look Max, I promised Vanessa I'd call right away if you woke up. Hold on."
"Chloe, wait. We need...we need to talk, I need to know..."
She hesitates over her phone, looking up at me. I try to grip her arm for emphasis but I barely move my hand, grazing her skin. "There's things...I can't tell anyone else..."
"Like...the way you teleported out of nowhere, you mean. Please tell me I wasn't losing my mind."
"I didn't...teleport. I time-traveled. Froze time."
Maybe I shouldn't have dropped it so bluntly, but honestly I can't say I have patience for word puzzles at this point. She'll believe me or not. It doesn't really matter.
"I...see," she says. "I thought they stopped giving you the hard stuff a while ago, but you're still high I guess."
My dramatic sigh suffers from shortness of breath. Maybe it does matter to me if she believes me or not.
"You read my note?"
She snorts. "Only five thousand times. 'I time-traveled to stop this. I'm sorry about Rachel. Stop being a self-centered asshole. I'll always love you – Your partner in time, Max.' What the fuck kind of note is that?"
"It's the truth. I went through so much...look, could you just...believe me, for now?"
"Believe that you're a time-traveler? Sure, no problem."
I grit my teeth. "Rachel left a plaid shirt and torn up jeans in your fashion hole. You used to call David 'Step-Douche' and 'Step-Führer' among many other things. You keep..." I catch my breath a bit. "You keep your dad's camera deep in a shelf next to your hi-fi and workdesk, and a doe snowglobe in a box on the top shelf of your closet. Nathan dosed you and took a photo of you in his room, but you managed to escape, breaking his lamp in the process. You planned to run away to California with Rachel before—"
"Stop. Just...stop."
She's looking at me like I became a different person. Her mouth hangs open, her eyes look haunted.
"Are you serious right now? You're not fucking with me somehow?"
"You already asked me to prove it once," I tell her. "Let's not do this again."
"Okay." She gets up, paces a bit. "Okay."
"I know you so well...I could talk for days about our time together."
"This is so hardcore. I knew what happened was some kind of supernatural bullshit, but...holy crap, Max."
"Like I said...I time-traveled. Please believe me. I went through so much before stopping that bullet."
She stands there for a moment, then with tentative movements sits next to me again. What's that in her eyes? Compassion? Pity?
Her fingers are idly pinching the sheets next to my hand. When she speaks, her voice is quiet and gentle. Humble.
"Why'd you do that, Max?"
I lean my head back on the pillow, looking away. "It was the only choice left."
"Taking a bullet for me? How was it even a choice? Barely an inch to the left and you'd be dead right now. How could you even think of doing that?"
"I tried saving you. It didn't work out."
"What does that even mean?"
"That timeline got the whole town destroyed. You asked me to go back and let you die. But...I couldn't."
The haze that's been clouding my senses is slowly receding. I can see her struggle to accept what I'm saying.
"Why wouldn't you? I was a lowlife. I deserved it after all the shit I got into."
Angry heat rises to my cheeks. "I'm sick of hearing you say that. You are the reason I did everything. Don't say you deserve to die, ever again."
It was just a few words strung together, clenching my fist, sitting up slightly. They leave me feeling like I just ran a marathon.
She's pulled back. There's something like awe in her voice. "Okay, s-sorry, I'm sorry. Damn, Max."
"Sorry...it's just..."
Can't keep going. I have to just breathe.
"It's alright," she says, "I get it. Look Max, I need to tell Vanessa you're awake or she will kill me. There'll be lots of time to talk later, you know. I'm never leaving your side from now on, like it or not."
I give her a tired smile and just nod. She taps her phone a few times, then leaves it on speaker on the bed. Mom answers immediately.
"Hey," Chloe says. "Got big news for you. She's awake."
The gasp and relieved cry makes my chest shrink. Poor mom. I didn't even consider how all this would affect her and dad.
"I'll be there right away," she says.
"Hi, mom."
"Oh my god," she breathes. "Oh my god. Baby, I'll be right there. I love you so much. Oh my god."
"I'll keep her busy," Chloe says. She's chocked up a little.
"Thank you, Chloe. I'll be right there, sweetheart. Fifteen minutes. Stay with us, okay?"
"Not going anywhere," I tell her.
"I'll be right there."
They hang up. Chloe plucks a tissue from the bedside table and carefully wipes the tears from my eyes.
"She's been staying with us," she explains. "They decided your dad should go back to his job in Seattle while she keeps an eye on you. They basically fought to be the one that stayed."
"Sounds like them..."
A disturbing thought pops up, and I honestly can't believe I took so long to ask.
"How long have I been here, Chloe?"
"Way too long." She brushes the hair off my forehead. "Close to six months. It's March now."
I blink for a while. "Wowser."
She chuckles.
"Happy birthday," I tell her.
"Hah! Of course you'd remember. It's still the eighth, though. But it'll be the happiest birthday ever, now."
Six months. Everything is still standing. Joyce and David are fine. Chloe is alive and well—look at her, with her blue pigtails and blonde roots and happy smile.
I did it. I'm in a hospital bed and I feel like death, but...I did it. Only took getting shot in the chest.
"Look at that," Chloe says. "I've missed that smile."
"Chloe, I'm so, so happy to see you. I can't even explain."
"You'll have to explain. You need to tell me everything. I promise I'll believe every word."
"You better."
She gently holds my arm in her hand, caressing with her thumb. "It's been so weird...you disappear for five years, and then you save my life. I was so angry at you. And then I found that note in my pocket. I could've explained away how you showed up, but the note was some twilight zone shit." She takes a deep breath, shaking her head. "And spending time here, reading to you or talking or whatever...I felt like I knew you again. Not just from childhood, but, you know, the real adult you. Is that weird?"
"After everything that happened? Nothing feels weird to me anymore."
"Hah. The Time Warrior has spoken."
"I didn't ask for it, Chloe. I reach out with my hand and reverse time, just like that. I still don't know why. I don't think I'll ever know."
"Do you...do you think you can still do it?"
I recoil at the words. "I don't want to ever find out. I watched you die so many times...I went through hell and back before it was over. Never again."
"You watched me die?"
"Yeah. This is hard for me too, you know? I...I grew so close to you, we shared so much. You became my whole life. And that's gone now."
"It doesn't have to be—wait, wait. How, uh...how close are we talking about?"
I shake my head. "Forget I said anything. It was a different Chloe. It isn't fair to you."
"Oh no, you don't get out of it so easily. Look, Max, if we hooked up, I sure as hell would like to know."
"What? No, it was only a few days! You were grieving Rachel, and there was so much shit going on, it really wasn't the time. I was lucky to get a farewell kiss."
Her grin goes from mischievous to wicked. "But you wanted more, huh? How many times did you kiss me and then turn back time? Confess, heathen!"
"Just once! Or...twice. How did we even end up talking about this?"
"Look at your cheeks! You're going to start a fire in here."
"Oh my god, shut up. Only you could get me all worked up like this after a six month coma."
"Hah! I am the one and only Chloe Price, bitch."
I laugh and immediately regret it. I start coughing. Everything in my chest feels shallow, like I'm running on fumes.
Chloe leans over me, desperate to help but not knowing how. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I should've called a nurse right away. I forgot you need to take it easy."
I can't even talk through the coughing, but I grab at her so she doesn't move. A newborn baby could overpower me right now, yet she's utterly unwilling to be in any way forceful. She wraps her arm around me, lightly holding me up until the coughing subsides.
"I'm okay...I'm okay."
She sits on the bed. "Alright, alright, okay. Don't tire yourself. Here, the button. Whenever you're ready."
"I'm okay, I promise. I just...don't want this to end, the two of us alone. The moment someone else walks in, time will start flowing again."
"Super Max the Time Master should know."
"Let's stay like this, just for a little while longer."
Chloe sighs deeply and gets comfortable next to me. "I can't blame you. I'm not the one about to face months of grueling physical therapy."
"Thanks for reminding me."
"Welcome."
Feeling her so close is the best comfort I could've hoped for. Soothing memories of our last sleepover fill me with a deep sense of belonging, and for a moment it feels like I never left her bedroom.
And in fact, I never did. I never dug up a body in a filthy junkyard. I never broke into Blackwell at night. I never watched Mark Jefferson get the beatdown of his life. If no-one remembers these things, did they ever happen?
Does it even matter?
It's as I feel her breath gently shift the bed that I have a wicked thought of my own. I get an elbow under me and prop myself up with some effort.
It's payback time.
"Can I ask you for something? Before my mom gets here and the real world comes crashing down on us?"
She seems amused. "Dude, I owe you my life in more ways than one. You can ask me for anything in the world."
I smile at her ever so innocently.
"I dare you to kiss me."
Chloe looks at me, eyes wide. She's frozen in place.
"I double dare you. I double dog dare you."
I don't even care if she does it. The look on her face right now?
That's a look worth dying for.