A/N: So, almost everyone has done a Susan fic and now I figured it was my turn. This one was really hard for me and I'm not sure it turned out quite right. If you catch or notice something off about this could you tell me? Thanks. It was really kinda weird to write. I've tried several times to do a Susan fic but they never quite end up very good. This is my challenge number 33. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine.....yet.

Memories

A wrinkled hand stretched out of it cocoon of blankets and reached in vain for the window, longing for the sunlight. There was nobody here, only her. She had lost her family a long time ago; a train crash had taken all of them from her. Now as she lay on her deathbed the memories came flooding back. Memories of a large castle, Cair Paravel. Memories of sandy beaches and bloody battles. She remembered standing on the steps of Cair Paravel waiting to greet her brothers when they returned home from battle. She remembered the relief she always felt when they came home unharmed, and the worry she felt when they were wounded. She remembered the Fauns dancing, the Naiads singing, the talking animals doing just that, talking. She remembered Rabbidash, she remembered being the most beautiful and sought after woman in the world. Now she was all alone, old and ugly. Her thick black hair had long since turned gray. Her fair complexion had left her for wrinkled, pitted skin. Her eyes, once so full of hope, joy and grace, were now sunken orbs.

With all of the things that had deserted her, there were two that had stayed. She still held the grace of a queen. In every movement she made, there was a strength and grace; with every word that she spoke, a depth that could hardly be suppressed. The other thing that had stayed with her, whether she remembered it or not, was the love of Aslan.

In all of her memories of Narnia, she didn't remember Aslan.

When Aslan had told her that she wasn't coming back, she had been livid. She had hid it well but, all the same, she wasn't happy. When, after coming back from school, her parents had taken them all to church, Susan found herself thinking again about Narnia. It was years after her family died that she had returned to that building, looking for some distraction from her currently drab life. She had been struck by words that the pastor said, "Once a member of God's family, always a member of God's family." She didn't know why but those words gave her heart a warm, fuzzy feeling. She went every week after that and soon accepted Jesus into her heart.

By the time she was forty Susan had married a nice Christian man and had had several children. The family would go to church every week and always sit in the same pew. Susan sat at the end of the pew, closest to the wall, her children sat next to her and her husband book-ended them, sitting on the end closest to the aisle. Above Susan's place on the pew there was, glimmering like new, a stained glass window depicting the Lion and the Lamb mentioned in Revelation. Susan loved to stare at that window; it was so beautiful.

It wasn't long after Susan turned fifty that her second family was taken away from her. They had all been walking to the park when a trolley lost control and killed them all. That had nearly destroyed her but she kept going to church and, with God's help, she eventually healed. She had kept her seat in the now empty pew, the window giving her some comfort. She would have long talks with her pastor about Theology.

Through all of this she buried memories and hid them away. She eventually forgot, dismissing vague thoughts as just a dream or a silly game that she used to play with her siblings.

Now, as she could feel her last breath slipping away, she finally remembered it for what it truly was: the truth. She closed her eyes, listening for anything that might give a hint as to where she was going. Nothing.

When she opened her eyes she saw her mother and father, staring at her with pride in their eyes. She was in heaven, there was no doubt about that. She had just thought that it would be different, more Narnian.

Susan looked around her. Standing in the sunlight, was Aslan. He was looking at her with sorrow in his eyes. "Where am I, Aslan?"

"You are in the Real England. Heaven." Aslan's voice now sounded sad as well.

"Then, where are my siblings? Where's Peter? Edmund? Lucy? Where are they, Aslan?"

"My child, they are in the Real Narnia, My country. You have done well, but I cannot let you in. You strayed from me, my daughter." He had a tone of deep melancholy in his voice.

"Can't I see them, or go there?" Susan was as close to panicking as she could be in heaven.

"Yes, my daughter, in due time." Across a great expanse, Susan could see her brother, High King Peter, sitting on a throne, next to King Frank, nodding his head at her and smiling. She knew, in that moment, that all would be well, even though death had separated them, her siblings had never given up on her. They had never stopped believing in the power of memories.

A/N: Okay, so, what did you think? I'm really nervouse about this one. If you could say "Grizzabella" in your reviews it would be cool. Why? Because origionally you guys were going to get to read a fiction set to the Andrew Lloyd Webber song, "Memories". In the musical "Cats" Grizzabella sings it and anyone whho hears it gets the goos bumps. Love it. :)

Anyway, talk to you guys later!!!! TaTa!