Bucky doesn't like to be touched. He is afraid of hands that meet him without permission and will shy away if they appear unannounced. The only hands he has experienced are hands that have hurt him. He is afraid of his own hands too. He can only remember the times they've done wrong instead of right. The times they've scarred the people he loves. If he can even remember that much.
The only hands that Bucky will not recoil from are Steve's hands. Steve is gentle. He does not ever use force when he touches or speaks. But he still asks if he can touch Bucky. Bucky says yes. Please. Steve asks again even though he doesn't have to. Bucky says Please touch me, Steve. And Steve says OK. Maybe he will ask ten times, or fifteen times just to make sure that he won't hurt Bucky. Though he thinks that Steve should hurt him after everything that he's done. After all of the blood spilled, flesh torn. Bucky says that he deserves to be hurt but Steve never hurts him. He has hands that would never hurt Bucky, no matter what he's done, no matter how much he begs for Steve to hurt him. Please, Stevie, He will shout. Make me feel how you felt, like I made you feel. If it will make you better, Steven, please hurt me. I deserve it. And Steve will put his hand on Bucky's arm. Both arms. He will touch his face and say,
Nothing will make me better but you.
I and Bucky will stop crying for a little while. He will feel Steve's stainless palms on his cheeks. And then they will go to sleep. Hands pressed upon each other's bodies, tangled quietly in cool sheets. The nightmares will be more hushed tonight with the hands beside him that would never hurt him no matter the horrors he's committed.
Steve's hands.