A.N. 1: Hey guys!! I know I haven't updated anything in a long, long, long time, and since I haven't really been on my computer or writing (thanks to my computer and a minor car accident) I felt really bad. So over the last week and some, I have come on my computer, wrote a page or two and then saved it to my email, so my computer couldn't eat it. This is a one shot, I think… I don't know if I want it to be more or not, I guess that is up to you guys. I wrote this for all of you, just because I feel so bad about not updating. (But I promise as soon as my computer and my neck and back agree, I will be updating like crazy!!) Thank you to all of you who have stuck by me, and hopefully, in the very near future, I can get back to writing the stories I have going.
A.N. 2: This story doesn't really follow anything, a little history and then off into its own little world. Obviously, it's Liason, other than that, I hope you enjoy, and as always, I would love to know what you think. Feedback is always greatly appreciated.
A.N. 3: I don't own GH, or the quotes that I used throughout… I just like borrowing the GH characters, seeing as how Guza refuses to give us Liason fans something to truly hold on to…
The Road To You
"The Road to you is long and I've been on it for awhile…"
Dave Mathews Band…
Elizabeth moved slowly up the steps, knowing she should not be there, but unable to stop her feet from carrying her to his door. Raising her hand, she knocked hesitantly on the hard wood, her knuckles aching from the abuse of the door. Until that moment she had not realize just how hard she had knocked.
However, before her mind, heart or something else entirely, could take control of the situation and send her fleeing from the hallway, the door opened, showcasing Jason in all his amazing glory.
For some reason, the mere sight of him, could steal her breath; leave her weak in the knees and deliriously happy. It was not some reason either; it was simply because he exuded confidence, he knew what to do no matter the situation, it was simply who he was.
The way the light blue shirt pulled over his muscular form, etching out his chiseled abs and sculpted shoulders, his pectoral muscles were defined amazingly, one look and all you wanted to do was bathe those muscles with your tongue… And the way the jeans held tightly to all his most perfect places… The jeans were looser along the calves and offered enough movement through the thighs, but tight enough to showcase the strong muscles, his ass was encased in those beautiful jeans, they held to the firm curves, enticing the eye to look longer and the hands to explore… the whole package almost had her panting, sheer will stopped her, but nothing else. It was amazing how good he looked, she wondered absently, if he looked badly in anything. Briefly she allowed her mind a moment to wonder what he would look like naked, because even when she dreamt about him, she couldn't obtain the pure perfection that was his body.
Self consciously, Elizabeth swiped a gloved hand over her mouth, just in case she was drooling, it wouldn't do to be standing here drooling, and not saying anything…
She had never once thought a man could be beautiful, but Jason standing there before her, looking curious and dare she say it, delectable, it fogged her mind, clouded her senses, leaving her barely able to squeak out, "Hi". Her mind, even the haze forefront of it, screamed for her to say something more, at least something coherent, but alas, she was left with the mousy little squeak.
"Hi" Jason replied. Quirking an eyebrow at her suddenly strange behavior, not that she never had moment of oddness before, but something about the way she stood there, staring at him, made him wonder.
Always so quiet, never filling the void with useless words, just letting the people around him say what they needed to say, it was so Jason. Just another thing for her to admire, as if there were not enough things already, she was resigned, looks, compassion, honesty, those were all things that Jason was, but even still, there was much more…
She felt ridiculous standing in front of him, wearing the beautiful gown, her face caked with makeup and those silly opera gloves adorning her hands and arms.
She couldn't align her thoughts, not with him looking at her like that. His deep, striking blue eyes searching, penetrating hers; reading what her soul was saying while her lips couldn't or wouldn't. At least she hoped he could see what her soul was truly saying, seeing as her mouth was having such a hard time. The one time when she would have truly welcomed her babbling nature and it fled, leaving her to fend for herself.
In a moment of weakness, she crossed the room, wanting nothing more than to crawl out of the uncomfortable dress and into something much more to her liking. However, that wasn't likely, considering, she wasn't home and had nothing to change into.
She didn't know how he knew it, but he could see the tears gathering in her eyes and with a simple look and an extended hand, offering her everything, if only she had the nerve to take it. Without waiting, she placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her into his warm embrace. Her head fit perfectly upon his shoulder, his strong arms wrapped around her waist, made her feel like nothing could touch her.
In all her life, she had never felt safer, more wanted than she did, when in his arms. He made the world seem better, he brought the colors back, and within the comfort of his arms, he gave her back her dreams!
Stepping back, almost grudgingly, she lowered her weary form to the bed, feeling a deep stirring of something, but unsure exactly of how to deal with it, or even how to act upon it, so like everything else she normally felt, she pushed it to the back of her mind. But that was just another one of her defense mechanisms, she knew what she was feeling, but beyond anything she had ever known or felt, she was terrified, it was quite the oxymoron when you thought about it. The one man who made her feel safe all scared the crap out of her.
Sitting upon his bed, time seemed to stand still for her, his soft voice and gentle hands, awoke things in her that she thought had died within the blazing inferno that had claimed her young love, but with his eyes penetrating hers, looking deep within her soul, beseeching her to trust her heart, Elizabeth lost sight of everything. If only her head and her heart could get on the same page, it really wasn't all that much to ask, but it seemed when it came to one Jason Morgan, she could barely get the two to communicate.
One moment she had been complaining about Lucky and the job and the next, she was lost in the moment, waiting with bated breath for the kiss her soul longed for, but her twice cursed mind, had once again interfered. Using every ounce of willpower, Elizabeth moved slowly from the warm confines of his arms, and while he wasn't hugging her anymore, he was kneeling in front of her, his hands resting lightly upon her arms.
Never before had she felt that much confliction, where her heart, body and soul were crying out for her to let it happen, and yet, no matter how much she truly wanted it, she allowed her mind to interfere, casting back the moment once again into the abyss of should haves and could haves.
Unbidden, her tears came, it was amazing how she felt like she didn't have to hide those tears either, with Jason she was just allowed to be, she could be who she was, and never fear that he would think less of her. She didn't have to be happy shiny Elizabeth around Jason, she didn't have to paste on fake smiles and talk about silly things, with Jason, she was allowed to be herself.
Raising her hands to her face, Elizabeth went to wipe away her tears, but no sooner did her hands touch her face than she remembered the gloves, with a huff, she slowly stood and began to remove them, it wouldn't do to get them dirty, she thought reproachfully. Not thinking about what she was doing, she laid the gloves across the open book about Italy that lay upon the desk. It warmed her heart to see the book, the one she had bought for him to read while he was stuck in her little shabby studio apartment.
It brought a smile to her face to think of Jason sleeping on her lumpy, secondhand couch. The thing was two times too small for him, but not once did he complain, he was a model guest, except when she made him eat gallons of soup, then he could be a slight pain.
Knowing what she needed, without being told, Jason went into the bathroom and retrieved a washcloth, dampened it and returned to help remove the make-up that she was complaining about.
He once again took his place in front of her, on his knees; he slowly worked the wash cloth over her eyes and face, removing the make-up. He hated to see her uncomfortable or unhappy, or any of the other myriad of emotions that caused her a moments pain or heartache. He wasn't a fool, even though everyone though him to be, at least most people did, those who bothered to get to know him, or who he allowed to get to know him, knew him differently. But no one had been privy to his deepest self, until Elizabeth. Without trying, she could cause him to smile, since meeting her; he had laughed more than he had since his accident. It was almost as if she had found a switch within and had turned it on, allowing him hours and sometimes days without darkness. But maybe he was kidding himself, because he never truly felt himself unless she was near.
With a gentleness that most people didn't know existed, Jason continued to slowly work the cloth over her face, removing the offending material. His gaze traversed the plains of her face, taking every detail in, as if he would never have the chance to be this close again. Although, he was sure most of the make-up was gone minutes ago, he still played it over her face, enjoying the closeness.
She could see the conflictions on Jason's face and while she wanted nothing more than to erase the hurts that she had caused him.
She could see he felt something for her; she read it in his eyes as he almost kissed her. Her face had moved closer to his, longing, perhaps as much as he for the small moment when their lips would touch, her own face moving closer, waiting for the moment when their lips touched and knowing deep inside that when it happened, something intense, yet magnificent would happen, but instead, her mind refused to quiet down and before she knew what was happening, she had taken the washcloth from his hands, quietly, yet insistently, scrubbing the layers of lipstick and lip gloss from her lips.
Elizabeth could see him wince when she passed over the same area a few too many times, without having to look, she could tell her lips were red, almost raw from her harsh scrubbing, but she couldn't stop, until his hand stilled hers. She could taste the soap, and while completely unpleasant, she couldn't find the words to ask for a glass of water or anything else, she was, by and large, lost in his eyes once again.
Annoyed with herself and the situation, she stood, preparing to flee, except before she could, a knock sounded on the door and one of the few voices she did not want to hear, spoke. Gia was once again sticking her nose into other peoples business and before she could even think of something to say, she saw Jason walking towards the door. Ingrained self-preservation reared its head and Elizabeth dashed into Jason's bathroom, quietly closing the door.
Jason turned around when he heard the bathroom door close, but before he could even question it, the knocking on his door sounded again, harder this time, more insistently.
"What do you want Gia?" Jason asked, slowly opening the door.
"Have you seen Elizabeth, she ran out of the photo shoot… And I was wondering if you had seen her." Gia said, realizing she was repeating herself, but being in front of Jason was a little disconcerting.
"I haven't seen her!" Jason replied, his voice slightly cold.
Gia was about to say something snidely back, but her eyes fell upon his desk and the white gloves that lay there. She knew Elizabeth had been wearing those when she left. Jason could disconcert anyone, but Gia was not afraid of him, he would not be stupid enough to hurt her, not with her brother being a cop. Considering everything she managed to get away with when she had blackmailed Jason's sister, she felt safe, protected. No one had ever claimed she was smart…
"Thanks Jason, I'm sorry to have bothered you." She said quickly, not wanting to waste another minute with the brain damaged thug, even though he was drop dead sexy.
Jason just shrugged his shoulders as he shut the door. Wondering briefly, why she changed her tune so quickly. Normally she was like a dog with a bone, refusing to release something until she had devoured it from all angles.
"The coast is clear." Jason called.
Elizabeth came slowly out of the bathroom, not doubting Jason, but not doubting Gia's bloodhound like personality. She surveyed the room, nodded her head once, as if confirming what Jason had already said.
"I don't know how she knew I was here, but I am sure she can't wait to get back to "Him", just to tell. I better, go…"
"Yeah, can't have "Him" getting mad…" Jason snorted back.
"It's not like that Jason, please understand, if I don't go, well, it could just make things harder, he needs me, I can't let him down." Elizabeth said, knowing only that her heart hurt at the prospect of leaving.
Elizabeth wanted to say something, anything else, but nothing came out of her mouth, at least not the right thing. So instead of making matters worse, Elizabeth grabbed her coat and left. Realizing as she did that another piece of her heart was breaking. If she kept going this way, she wouldn't recognize the person she was fast becoming.
Who was that girl who stared back at her in the mirror every morning, she was definitely not Lizzie Webber, the girl who did what she wanted, when she wanted, and the world be damned, she was not Liz Webber, the fire had gone out, all the passion she had for life had fizzled, slowly dampened by the absurd demands that were being placed on her. She wasn't even Elizabeth Webber anymore, the perfect little granddaughter and sister, friend and girlfriend, everyone's expectations had cast that girl aside as well. And while she never really wanted to be anyone but herself, she found as each day went by, a little more of her true self died. She wasn't three different people, she was a little bit of each one and they were the whole that made her who she was. But for her Gram's and for Sarah and Lucky, she played the part of doting well, but when did their wants trump what she wanted. Did she no longer matter? It was a question that scared her.
She was a shell, she went through the motions of living, but underneath she wasn't, she was slowly dying, but didn't know how to stop it. And it was all for a man, she couldn't even recognize anymore, all for some misplaced loyalty that was quickly taking its toll on her.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"I've arrived at this outermost edge of my life by my own actions. Where I am is thoroughly unacceptable. Therefore, I must stop doing what I've been doing."
Alice Koller, An Unknown Woman, 1982
Week after week, and month after month, time came and went, the days and nights passed in a fog, passed in a mingling of self-doubt and unbridled and unrequited passion.
Lucky and Jason never strayed far from her thoughts, and whether it was right or wrong, she couldn't help but compare the two. The two were worlds apart, the light and dark of mankind. Both had suffered greatly, two separate incidents had changed their lives irrevocably.
When Lucky came back, he didn't care about anyone, that was the way he was programmed. He chose to be bitter and angry, taking his frustrations out on anyone and everyone. Whereas Jason couldn't remember anyone, didn't even have a chance to remember, would never remember... His mind was a clean slate, but instead of turning against everyone, he allowed a few select people into his new life, the ones who didn't force themselves into his life or his heart. And where there was anger and resentment, he chose more often than not to bottle it up, until he could escape on his bike. But whereas Jason fought to overcome his inner turmoil, Lucky took the easy path, looking out for himself and the rest of the world be damned. The only big difference was, Jason Quartermaine had planned on being a doctor, Jason Morgan, was a hired killer. He killed the "Bad Guys", the ones who would do harm to others. And while she didn't know the full extent of his job, she knew it was dangerous, had learned that with glaring accuracy, she knew enough. Jason didn't intentionally hurt anyone unless he had a reason. Lucky, he seemed to take some sick, perverse pleasure in hurting those who cared for him and even those who didn't.
She tried to stay true to the boy who had stolen her heart completely, but as the days turned into months, she slowly began to realize, what they had could never be again.
But could she really walk away from him, from the one person who saved her, when the rest of the world had failed her. It was fast becoming the mantra of her days. Could she possibly give up on a love she thought that was going to last a life time. Could she truly give in to her lusts and go after the one man who always seemed to be a risk. Her mind was a minefield, every thought or memory was plagued with either Jason or Lucky. It was time to make a decision, but she wasn't sure if she was ready.
Elizabeth tried, with every step she took to forget Jason Morgan, but she couldn't, the constant bickering and fighting with Lucky was taking its toll. She felt like she was being pulled asunder by the reckless waves of an uncaring hurricane, her mind and heart being pounded upon the sharp rocks, her being, her uniqueness, which made her Elizabeth, pummeled by the unrelenting wind.
She tried, she really did, every time she went out, she never consciously went out of her way to find him, but something, maybe destiny and then again, maybe not, kept thrusting them together. She couldn't be sure if she still believed in fate, in destiny, she had been slapped in the face one too many times.
Kelly's, the pier, the park, Vista Point, everywhere she went, there was Jason. Never demanding anything from her, just asking her to be herself, which lately seemed impossible, those few brief moments with Jason, allowed her to be who she wanted to be, a woman who knew her mind and heart, a woman who wasn't afraid to make the right decision, who wasn't afraid of making a choice and sticking with it.
And whether it was destiny or not, it sure had a sick sense of humor, because no sooner did they run into one another, than Lucky suddenly appeared, looking angry and betrayed. She had truly started to wonder if he was following her whenever she went out, it seemed to perfect for Lucky to show up, every time. But perhaps she was just being paranoid.
He'd belittle her and berate her for seeking Jason out, for betraying him for the hundredth time. It always came back to Lucky! Elizabeth wondered if she could do anything right for him anymore. A simple question could cause Lucky to fly in to a rage; a tender look could cause him to throw things. Never before had she ever been truly afraid of Lucky, but when she looked at the man he had become, it was becoming obvious, more often than not, she now feared the man she had pledged to love forever…
It became a dance of sorts, she would unintentionally find Jason, and she would feel her heart soar for the briefest of moments, he would bestow one of his crooked smiles upon her, and for a moment she would feel as if she were floating, and then in walked Lucky, changing the dance, making it about him, making it angry and feral.
And before she could do or say anything to lessen the intensity, Lucky would haul her away, normally leaving bruises upon her arms, screaming one thing or another at Jason, and just before she was completely out of Jason's line of sight, she would turn around, mouthing "I'm sorry" before being dragged completely away.
She could see the way his jaw ticked when Lucky grabbed her, had seen him fingering the bruises when they ran into one another, she couldn't understand it, and perhaps she really didn't want to, but for some reason, Jason never struck out at Lucky. You could see the anger rise in Jason, like the coming tide, but it was just another in a long list of how Jason and Lucky varied, Jason could control his rage, Lucky, could not.
Hoping beyond hope that Lucky hadn't seen her mouthing the words, but in all likelihood, he had, it seemed he knew a lot and nothing at all. But it was becoming harder and harder to care, if he saw, so what, it didn't seem like he really cared anyway, she was no longer the love of his life, she was a possession to keep, and most importantly, to keep away from Jason.
It didn't make much sense to her, before Lucky had been kidnapped, they had been friends. Lucky looked up to the older man, worked for him even, but after he came back, everything was different, and the way things were going, she feared, they would never find a sense of normalcy again. Jason tried, he always made an effort, but Lucky slapped it away at every chance.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"We look at each other, wondering what the other is thinking, but we never say a thing, and these crimes between us grow deeper."
Song: Ants Marching…
Elizabeth walked quickly into the seedy little bar, her eyes adjusting to the dimness and the smoky haze. The intense smell of stale smoke, beer and various other liquors; greasy meals, onions and garlic permeated the air, assaulting her senses. Before she had time to adjust, Elizabeth's eyes fell on the person she was looking for.
Taking a deep and fortifying breath, Elizabeth walked towards the table and her intended target. Looking at the man sitting there, Elizabeth couldn't help but shake her head sadly; row upon row of empty beer bottles lined the table.
She wondered what would cause him to hit the "Sauce", and in such abundance, she knew he liked a beer here or there, but never to this magnitude. A fleeting thought nagged her for a moment, persistent in fact. She wondered if she was the cause of his drinking binge, but with a shrug of her shoulders, figured, probably not, sure he may have feelings for her, but it wasn't love! So attributing his mass drinking to her was just silly and hopeful.
Trying to figure out what to say, Elizabeth looked helplessly around the bar, but her eyes of their own violation, swiveled to the stairs, to the sound of high heels on said stairs, and the clump of heavy shoes. She knew those sounds well, especially the heavier set, ever since Lucky came back, he walked around like he weighed a ton, clomping around, disturbing any and every one. It was his M.O. now, everyone else was dirt beneath his feet.
Her breath caught in her throat, even though she knew it was Lucky; she was not prepared for who stood next to him, standing just a few paces away, completely oblivious to her sudden plight, stood none other than Lucky and Sarah.
Elizabeth turned her gaze towards the table, her eyes brimming with tears, before she caught herself a sob escaped her tightly compressed lips, then with as little dignity as she had left, hastily retraced her steps out of the bar and into the cold, damp, night air.
It felt like her whole world had come crumbling down. She wasn't as naïve as she once was; she knew the look, especially when associating it with Lucky. The messy hair, the slight reddening of his lips, and the light pink flush to his cheeks, Lucky Spencer had just had sex, and it was with her sister.
The thought caused her stomach to roll, but she fought with all her might to ignore it. Thinking logically, Elizabeth tried to think of another reason why he could look like that, but once again, she realized she was just making excuses for him, tossing her own feelings under the proverbial bus, so she didn't have to face the fact that Lucky continued to break her heart.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it."
Brendan Francis
Jason watched numbly as Elizabeth rushed from the bar, every instinct told him to go after her, but the nothingness of the drunken fog, surrounded him completely. Dulling his reflexes, and yet, all the while, something deep within himself screamed for him to stay right where he was.
For months now, he had been trying to give Elizabeth what she said she wanted, but every time they came in contact, he could see the internal struggle, the way her eyes all but sparkled when near him, and yet, without fail, she threw it in his face, just how much she loved Lucky.
He wasn't the smartest man in the world, considering, most people thought him an idiot, but even he had to get it through his thick skull at some point. Elizabeth was caught in a web that she had constructed herself, pledging loyalty to a snot nose… Tamping down his emotions, Jason signaled to Jake to bring him another.
His eyes traversed the bar, seeing what there was to see. A man in his profession always had to keep his senses alert, even if said senses were hindered at the moment, thanks to all the beer he had consumed. Nevertheless, drunk or not, he still remained cautious of everything around him, and that was when he spotted Lucky, with Sarah's tongue down his throat.
Now it all made sense, the tears and the way she fled. A little something tugged at his heart, making him feeling guilty for not going after her, but for once, he was sick of playing second fiddle…
If she had stopped catering to Lucky's needs all this time, then perhaps things would be different, and while it tore at his insides when she was unhappy, he couldn't keep crushing his own heart, putting his own feelings to the side. He was, is a flesh and blood man, he could only take so much before he broke too. And he never wanted to taint Elizabeth with his other side, the darkness he was sure, would be too much for her to handle.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."
Ben Stein
Elizabeth ran until she could run no more, her heart pounded out a sickening beat, her breath screaming from her lungs and her tears, coursing down her face, leaving sparkling silver trails down her smooth alabaster skin in the glow of the inconstant moonlight.
This was her mess, and one way or another she was going to clean it up. She had been going back and forth between Jason and Lucky for long enough, pledging her life and love to a boy who no longer existed.
She would always be eternally grateful to Lucky for saving her that long ago night, but it was time to take her life back. Lucky had helped her after the rape, but it was her strong will, her determination to survive, which had really helped heal her. Lucky just proved that she wasn't damaged goods; he gave her the perspective to see herself as someone worthy again.
And while she would always feel, somewhat indebted to him, she couldn't continue to live a lie. She couldn't base her entire life on something that happened so long ago. At least it felt long ago, but really, not long at all. Being with Lucky, now that he had returned, it felt like months passed within a single day, and then she could spend five minutes with Jason and feel like it was mere seconds, not nearly enough time at all.
There was safety in loving Lucky, to a point at least, whereas giving into her feelings for Jason were at best, unsure. But really, what in love and life was truly safe, it was time to make up her mind and stick to it.
The Lucky she loved was gone, he died in the fire, and it was horrible and life shattering, not to mention life changing and his resurrection was a miracle, but, now, she had the ability to know, to see, this Lucky was not the man for her. And perhaps, being young and in love, skewed her perceptions, but for once she finally felt like things were coming together. She couldn't force Lucky to remember the boy he used to be, and she couldn't force herself to be the girl from before. Too much had happened; it was time to take what she wanted. It was time for her to live again.
To live again, now that would be something…
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves."
Walter Anderson
Drying her tears, Elizabeth allowed her mind to do what she had been denying it; she let her heart decide what she truly wanted. No longer was she going to fight what her entire being was screaming for. Stupidity could only take you so far, it was time to find the guts, and risk her heart.
However, before she could do anything, she had to clean herself up. She knew she must look a frightful mess.
Once inside her studio, Elizabeth began rooting through her closet, there had to be something in here that she could wear. But as she passed through the contents for the third time, she realized tonight was not going to be "The Night". Blowing out a pent up breath, Elizabeth turned from her closet and sat dejectedly upon her ratty little couch. Okay, so the first thing she had to do was going to have to be, go shopping, but where, what could she get, what would seal the proverbial deal.
Unable to sit still, she began to pace, her mind turning over and over how she wanted this to go down. And suddenly, she understood, she didn't want to wait, she couldn't wait. She had been pushing Jason away, been giving him mixed signals for months now. No, there could be no more waiting. It was just lazy thinking, allowing her mind to put off what she wanted to do, if she couldn't find the right clothes, then why bother. She understood now, it had never been Lucky standing in her way, or the feelings she had for him, it had always been her. The risk that was to big to take, and for once, little Lizzie was going to stand up to the biggest obstacle, herself!
She quickly disrobed, as she made her way to the shower. She picked through the medicine cabinet, found the light vanilla orchid shampoo and conditioner, the brown sugar and vanilla body wash, and as quickly as possible, finished her shower. The Vanilla and brown sugar lotion was the next thing to touch her skin, leaving it lightly scented and, even if she did say so herself, silky soft and touchable.
As soon as she was done, she grabbed the lacey sapphire blue bra and panty set, slipping into the bra while her mind raced, should she bother with underwear, did she truly want the hassle of having to remove them, with a devious little chuckle, she tossed the panties back into her drawer. What could she put over top of the risky lingerie, a flowery dress, no, she quickly disregarded that idea, she didn't want to look sweet and innocent, she wanted racy and exotic, passionate and fu…doable--well she wanted to leave a lasting impression, not one of purity…
Unable to stop her thoughts, Elizabeth reached into the hall closest, searching for a coat that at least reached mid-thigh, but as she searched her closet, she remember, the coat she wanted wasn't here, it was at Lucky's, above Kelly's.
The leather jacket that Jason gave her was the first one to come to mind, but that idea got nixed quickly, it barely came to mid-butt. She didn't need to show everyone what she was thinking, so she settled on the black, mid-thigh dress coat she had for good, funny enough, it was the one her grandmother had bought for her, because she thought it looked dignified.
She stomped back to her closet, grabbed the sickly sweet, flower sundress, slipped it over her head and raced out of the studio. Grumbling under her breath the whole way, the injustice of it all, trying to seduce the man who stole your heart, and you had to make a pit stop at your boyfriends place, yeah, life was ironic alright.
Okay, so she had to go to Lucky's, with any luck, he wouldn't be there… After all, wasn't he at Jake's when she left; the chances were good he would still be there. But the way her night had thus far gone, she started to wonder.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"I don't see anything now, so just say what you want to say. It's kind of funny, how I'm not listening anyway."
The Used, I'm Not Listening
Lucky and Sarah made it slowly back to Kelly's, it was slow going, especially with her tongue down his throat, but it was a wonderful trip nonetheless. Sarah was nothing like Elizabeth, she exuded confidence, was able to turn him inside out with just a look, it was nice being with Sarah, because she didn't expect anything from him. He could be himself and not worry that someone, namely Liz, was going to be hurt, because he couldn't love her or care for her the way he once supposedly did.
In a tumble of legs and arms, they crashed though his bedroom door, not bothering with technicalities; they quickly shrugged out of their clothes and fell on to the bed.
What they were doing did not equate love, it was mating, rutting; it was a search for pleasure. Both consumed with their own wants and desires. No sweet nothings were exchanged or wanted; it was sex, pure and simple.
In the heat of the moment, Lucky called her name, it slipped effortlessly from his lips, "Sarah". And while he would admit, it sounded odd to call someone else's name, especially while lying there in that bed, it didn't hurt, he didn't feel anything… It was what it was.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Forget our memories, forget our possibilities. Take all your faithlessness with you, just give me myself back."
Linkin Park, Don't Stay
Elizabeth moved with haste, her body running purely on emotion. Her mind sat idly back.
She stepped into Kelly's and made her way up the narrow flight of stairs. Two steps away from Lucky's door and she heard "Her" name expelled from his lips. It hurt, but nowhere near as much as she thought it would.
Without preamble, Elizabeth turned the knob and pushed her way into the room. She knew her luck wasn't going to hold, but she figured, with Lucky here, at least she could do what she needed to, scratch that, wanted to do!
The comical faces that Lucky and Sarah made, was almost too precious. Stunned shock was the first expression, guilt the second, but what crossed Sarah's face last was righteous indignation, mixed with something like victory.
Elizabeth saw the emotions, allowed them a split second to register then remembered why she was there. The light from the hall shining slightly into the room, without it, she wouldn't have been able to see the faces.
"Don't bother getting up; I can see you are busy. I just came for one thing!" Elizabeth said, in a sugary sweet voice.
With an emotion she couldn't quite name, Elizabeth moved quickly to Lucky's closet, grabbed the coat she was looking for and pulled it from the hanger.
Not exactly sure what came over her, Elizabeth said, "You don't mind if I change here, do you?" Without waiting for an answer, Elizabeth pulled the dress over her head, tossed it to the floor and pulled the jacket on. She did the buttons up slowly, leaving more than enough of them undone, showing ample cleavage, tied the sash and turned to leave. "Thanks. Don't bother to get up. We're done!"
Neither Lucky nor Sarah could make out the lack of clothing that she had been wearing, the closet door had blocked most of the light, but even so, Lucky was sure she wasn't wearing much.
Elizabeth grabbed the doorknob and backed out of the room, but before she shut the door, she had to see the looks on their faces. Glad she had, they were priceless. Without further adieu, Elizabeth closed the door and began her way down the hallway.
No sooner had she taken three steps than Lucky was opening the door and coming towards her. She didn't have to see it, to know it, the loud clomping of his shoes once again being heard well before the door even opened.
"Elizabeth, wait, please!" Lucky said.
"Wait, wait for what Lucky. It is obvious you have moved on, now, it is time I do the same!" Elizabeth said. Her voice was cool, calm and collected.
"What, no, wait, you can't, who could you possibly move on wi--" Lucky began, but didn't have to finish the sentence, it was glaringly obvious.
"So you got all dressed up, rather down, so you could go seduce Morgan that is pathetic Elizabeth." Lucky snarled at her. It was always that brain damaged thug.
"As pathetic as you banging my sister, in the same bed, where you used to make love to me? Get over yourself Lucky, you made your choice, even though you knew it would kill me. But guess what, it didn't, all the crap I have put up with since you returned, has made me a stronger person. I wish you luck Lucky, the boy you once were, deserved the world, I only hope the man you have become can find a semblance of that boy, perhaps then, you can find yourself." Elizabeth said. Feeling lighter than ever before, she turned on her heel and walked away, but sadly only made it a few steps, Lucky always had to have the last word.
"Wait a minute, that's it, you are just going to give up on me?" Lucky asked incredulously.
"Nope, you did that yourself, have a nice life Lucky, enjoy my sister and should the desire arise, take her away from here, far, far away. You need a vacation!" Elizabeth said with a beaming smile.
Not willing to wait any longer, she spared Lucky a sad smile and left Kelly's. All his shouting and cursing fell on deaf ears. She was no longer Lucky's beck and call girl, she had a life to live, and for too long, she had put her life on hold to help Lucky, it was time to be herself, live for her wants and her desires!
XXXXXXXXXXX
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), "Back to Methuselah" (1921), part 1, act 1
Elizabeth stood just inside the door to Jakes, looking hopefully around. Jason was no longer at the table, and for a brief moment, Elizabeth felt herself giving into the worry, until her eyes once again found Lucky and her sister.
It was funny if you thought about it, she had left Kelly's less than a half an hour ago, but because of one silly thing, she had forgotten a ponytail, not really needing it, but she rarely went anywhere without one, her hair could be a pain, and tonight, she did not want to be worrying about her hair, so she took a quick detour back to her studio, and now, as she once again made her way into Jakes, the two people she didn't want to see, she saw.
But like she had said earlier to herself, it was not her night, at least so far. She had a sinking suspicion that they would end up back here, especially after Lucky realized what she was planning on doing with Jason. So be it, she had stood her ground once already, doing it again would be even easier.
So biting the bullet once again, she walked with purpose and a slight smile towards them, wondering if fate had a funny sense of humor. Wearing the least amount of clothes while still being completely covered, was funny if you looked at it the right way, instead of seducing her ex-boyfriend, with so little on, she was going to dump him, again. A wicked smile graced her face, adding a bounce to her step and an enigmatic light to her eyes.
"Lucky, how nice to see you, Sarah…" Elizabeth said, in a sickly sweet voice.
"Eliz--, I, I can explain." Lucky replied. Eyeing her attire, with a little glint of surprise entering his eyes, she never wore things like that when they were together. It had been dark in his room when she had changed, and while he was sure he saw practically nothing on, here under the lights of Jake's, Elizabeth looked beyond alluring, she was a knockout.
"Lizzie…" Sarah began, but was cut off.
"Don't even bother to worry your pretty little head Sarah, he's all yours. I hope you at least had the common sense to use protection while you were bedding her Lucky, do you honestly think she has told you just how many men she has slept with." Elizabeth said, mockingly shaking her head.
"You little bit--." Sarah began, but was once again silenced.
"Oh save your righteous indignation for someone who cares, I know I don't. Have a great life Lucky, the boy you once were deserved it, I only hope you can find him again, because he would have made an amazing man. I meant it though, we are through, stay out of my life." Elizabeth said, turning and walking away.
Realizing Sarah was saying something, he slowly tried to bring his attention back to his date, bedfellow, sexcapades partner... For the first time in a long time, Lucky wondered if he had made a fatal mistake.
Some oaf bumped into Elizabeth as she wound her way through the bar and to the steps. The coat raised just a little, showing off her very nice shapely, derriere
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Lucky now knew what he had given up, so carelessly tossed aside.
"What?" Lucky said, irritated.
"Can we get out of here; I am so sick of being anywhere near her." Sarah said, gently running her sandal clad foot up and down his inner thigh.
Lucky swallowed past the sizeable lump in his throat and finally focused intently upon Sarah, "Yeah, sure, whatever you want."
"Besides, didn't she just say all of that at Kelly's; did we really need a repeat?" Sarah asked. "I was quite comfortable in your bed…"
Sarah smiled a secret smile. It was about time she taught her sister who the real lady-fair was. It was time to take everything from her, one little piece at a time. "Great, let's go."
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Eye contact is the best accessory."
Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata, Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005
Jason looked at the blonde woman sitting across from him, a small smile danced within her eyes.
He didn't know who she was, or really care one way or another. He had noticed her noticing him, leering at him with come fuck me eyes, and the mood he was in, he didn't even hesitate, he needed a distraction, and she would work.
He wanted the emptiness to stop, and that was what he was going to do. If sleeping with this woman would cure him of that, if even for one night, it was worth it. All he hoped was that it worked.
Back in the bar when Jason saw the blonde and her come fuck me gaze he figured it would be a good way to end this night with a bang, instead of drowning his sorrows in beer.
Once in the room and on the bed he couldn't help himself from thinking about what he really wanted instead of this bleached blonde barfly.
His thoughts began to drift when she came closer, kneeling in front of him, her hand playing loosely with his button and zipper.
Shutting down his mind, he refused to acknowledge that the woman before him was nothing but a substitute. He didn't want some bleach blonde bimbo, a woman who would satisfy him for the night but be gone come morning, the only person that he could think about making love to was not there, Elizabeth was not some quick fix to scratch the unbearable itch that flared in his loins, she was so much more, if only she could see it for herself. So, this woman would have to do, at least for tonight.
His thought once again turned to Elizabeth. If he concentrated really hard, he could see her, smell her and feel her…
Jason relaxed further back on the bed, perhaps his bedmate wouldn't notice that he wasn't looking at her; at least he hoped she wouldn't. But with the lights glaring brightly, he doubted it very much.
He felt the button of his pants come loose, and then the zipper of his pants slip slowly down and with a quick movement, his pants and boxers pooled on the floor. He wasn't sure when, but at some point she had managed to remove his shoes and socks, his shirt at some point as well. He was hard, his body itched to be satisfied, and her slow hands worked him up sufficiently.
He felt her hot breath before he felt her hands, but before he could wipe his mind of the thoughts that refused to leave, there came a knock on his door.
"Don't worry about it darlin', I'll get rid of whoever is there." She purred.
"Whatever." Jason mumbled.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
Roy Croft
Elizabeth stood in front of the door, her hand poised to knock, but suddenly all the months of indecision and miscommunications flooded her.
Could she possibly be doing this, had she lost her mind? Does Jason truly want to be with her, does he feel anything for her besides friendship…
Elizabeth felt the almost mental click and knew what she was doing, once again she was over thinking things, allowing the innocent girl that was buried deep within her a moment to speak, to question the sanity of her choices. Before she could turn tail and run, Elizabeth raised her hand and rapped upon the hard surface of the door. Her knuckles stung from the force, but she barely registered it.
As she waited for the door to open, she realized she was holding her breath, her nerves threatening to take over, but once the door opened and she saw a woman standing there, she lost her nerves and discovered a pure lividness simmering just below the surface.
"Who are you?" Elizabeth asked, her voice cracking with unrestrained anger.
"The question isn't who I am, it is simply who you are…"
Trying to think quickly, Elizabeth said the first thing that came to her mind, "I'm his wife of course; Get.Out.Of.His.Room, NOW!"
Elizabeth didn't bother to wait for the woman to leave, she grabbed her by the arm and pulled her from the room, quickly slamming the door in the woman's face and locking it.
She wasn't going to deal with some blonde bimbo when she had her mind set on taking control of her life, and of course, seducing Jason.
As she turned around she heard a very naked Jason ask, "Who was it?"
Instead of answering, Elizabeth sauntered over to the bed and ran one long silky-soft digit up his leg, stopping just before his hip. Wondering briefly, how he couldn't have heard her shout.
"That feels good, why did you stop." Jason asked, his words slightly slurred.
"Because if you are going to be having sex with someone, shouldn't you know what they look like." Elizabeth asked, her voice a sexy purr.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."
John Ray
Jason wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he understood he must be, because even though he had drank the better part of a flat of beer, there was no way Elizabeth could be standing beside him, touching him. He knew her voice too well to not notice when she spoke, but it had to be a dream, didn't it?
"Elizabeth?" He asked. His voice was rough and hesitant, but hopeful too.
"Who else could it be, that little blonde chippy, I think not." Elizabeth said, a note of anger inflicting her voice.
Jason tried, he really did, but for the life of him, he couldn't stop the smile that crossed his face. He could read people, and what he was reading from Elizabeth was jealousy, even in his alcohol fogged mind. He didn't have to see her to know that it was anger; just the inflictions in her voice gave away her jealousy.
Wanting to see if his foggy mind was playing tricks on him or not, he slowly raised his head, wanting nothing more than to look into her eyes. As he sat up, he quickly closed his eyes, the bright lights were making the room spin, but not even that could stop him from opening them again, once he was fully up.
Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at the comedic little O of Jason's mouth. His eyes traveled slowly over her body, resting for quite some time upon the hem of her jacket.
Elizabeth trailed her hands down his chest, and then repeated the motion with her mouth, loving the feeling of his muscles contracting beneath her mouth and tongue. She moved lower, carefully keeping her body off of his and as far away from his searching hands as possible and when he became a little more forceful, she slapped his hands away, chiding him that he must wait.
Unable to resist, Elizabeth let her head dip a little lower, and blushing slightly, flicked her tongue over the end of his erection, delighting when he arched his back off the bed. A few more quick licks, and firm yet gentle tug and Elizabeth slid her lips back up his body, stopping to pay tender care to his nipples.
She had never heard a man purr, it was damn sexy, and every time her tongue brushed his peaked nipples, he purred. She could wait no longer; she moved closer, dipped her head close to his and captured his lips. It was soft and tender to begin with, but he thrust his tongue into her mouth, dueling, mating, dancing out a rhythm that seemed only they could ever know. Elizabeth pulled back slowly, running her tongue over her slightly abused lips, she had never been kissed like that before, and it left her wanting more…
Before he could say anything, should he want to, Elizabeth slid closer, took a deep breath and straddled his lap.
The breath was forcefully expelled from his lungs when he felt the warmth of her bare skin hitting his and for a single moment, thought he might pass out from the experience.
"Eliz--"He began, but couldn't continue, especially when she adjusted herself just slightly, pressing the hardness of his erection more firmly between the juncture of her steamy thighs.
Elizabeth saw him fighting for control, whether it was from the situation or not, she wasn't sure, but the way he said her name, like it was the sweetest fruit to ever touch his lips, had her desire burning anew. She couldn't remember a time that she had been so hot, so wet; she knew then, that she would never be able to live without him, if he could do this to her body, without even laying a hand on her… Well, she planned on making sure she could pleasure him, just as much, that way, she wouldn't have to live without him.
Wanting nothing more than to stop his thought process and her own; Elizabeth raised herself slightly up on to her knees, enjoying his slight groan of frustration at the loss of contact. With one hand, she trailed the fine plains of his beautifully sculpted chest, delighting in the hard surface and yet the pliable sleekness of it, her other hand disappeared between them and took hold of his girth. With a smooth movement, she impaled herself upon his raging erection.
The quick intake of air from Jason delighted her, but she couldn't help the quick intake of air she took either, it was like being perfectly filled, never before had she felt that before. Casting her own thoughts to the back of her mind, she let instinct dictate what would happen from there on out.
Slowly, almost reverently, she began a slow steady pace, wanting nothing more than for the moment to last a life time.
Jason's hand rose shakily from the bed, at first tentative as he contemplated touching what he had so desired. His body took over for his mind, his fingers quickly extracted the buttons from there secure holdings, and with a tremble to his hands, untied the sash at her waist.
Pulling the offending material from her body and flinging it to the floor, Jason's breath caught in his throat. He had known it, from the very start, when he had first met her; she was the most beautiful woman ever. But seeing her with barely a stitch of clothing on, stopped his rapidly beating heart, nothing, ever, could equal the exquisiteness of her, she was a vision, and every woman would kill to look like her. She was beyond beautiful, he realized, he didn't have the vocabulary to list what exactly she was, but knew, Lucky was a fool, no man should ever be able to walk away from her. And what she was doing for his body was just as amazing.
With quivering hands, he slowly lowered them to her perfect alabaster skin. He began with her neck, so regal, held high and proud, down to her shoulders, shoulders that had more often than not, held the world and all its woes, and ever so slowly he moved to the valley between her perky breasts, they weren't small, just average size, but they fit his hands like a glove and his lips too, he was sure.
Unable to stop himself, he lowered his mouth as he caught one erect nipple in his mouth, alternating between laving it and nibbling upon it through the lacy garment. A surge of pride flooded him as he felt her arch her back in supplication, and expelled a decadently seductive purr. Switching to the other nipple to give it the same attention, Jason swirled his tongue around it, loving the feel of her pebbled nipple poking peaks in her scanty little bra.
Elizabeth could take his torture no longer, with the speed of familiarity; Elizabeth unclasped her bra and tossed it upon the floor to join the other garments already banished there.
Not willing to wait a moment longer, Elizabeth grasped Jason's face bring his lips to hers. Not waiting for invitation once their lips crashed onto one another's, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, delving and exploring. His hands fell from her face to her back and then lower, squeezing her round globes and then assisting in increasing the speed and depth of her thrusts.
He was like a man starved, once he tasted her lips, he couldn't stop; he wanted to feel her spasm in completion as he enveloped her cries of pleasure with his mouth.
With a very quick and agile move, Jason flipped their position, still fully imbedded within her; he laid her gently upon the bed, giving him the benefit of control. He could see the way her eyes twinkled and it touched something deep within him. Never had he seen her eyes sparkle like that, or the pure look of unbridle ecstasy and contentment, it almost broke his heart.
His breath caught in his throat as he felt her hands glide over his heated flesh, everywhere her hands traveled, it felt like liquid fire. He knew he didn't have long, how could you be buried so perfectly in someone and not be on the brink. His pace increased, as did hers, and before he knew what was happening, she was shouting his name, her inner walls clamping like a vice around his heated flesh. Three quick, powerful thrusts and he emptied into her.
He had, had sex before, but nothing like this. It felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, his body felt weak and Jell-O-like. If this was what making love to Elizabeth was like, he never wanted it to stop. As he lay panting next to her, he wondered when he had fallen in love with her. He had known he was attracted, but this went beyond that, far beyond… Was it because he loved her that made the sex so mind-bogglingly wonderful? He wasn't sure, but he wanted it for the rest of his life.
Afraid to open his eyes, Jason allowed himself a few extra moments to bask in the perfection that was Elizabeth. His mind wanted to insist he was dreaming, but the woman lying beneath him was no dream. She was there, now he just had to convince his brain, because his heart knew it!
Elizabeth couldn't help the smile that rose to her lips; it was one thing to dream about making love to Jason, but a complete other when she was actually doing it. Her dreams couldn't compare to the real thing…
She opened her eyes slowly and once again couldn't stop the smile that spread, for he was wearing one, she was sure matched her own. Not wanting to break the moment, but having to nonetheless, they needed to talk.
"Jason?"
"MmmHmm…" Was all he could manage.
"I broke up with Lucky tonight! It's over, it's been over for a long time, and I just didn't see it!"
"So…Where does that leave us?" He asked, almost tentatively.
"I think that depends on you, I think I made my wants known, rather forcefully." Elizabeth replied, unable to keep from smiling.
"So?" He tried again, not wanting to misconstrue anything.
"So…. I want you; I've wanted you for a long time. I am sorry it took so long to figure it out. It wasn't fair to you, and hopefully, if you feel the same way, I can spend the next eighty or ninety years proving it to you, and making it up to you!"
Unable to stop himself, he laughed, it was a light feeling, something he hadn't felt in a long time. "Eighty or ninety years, huh, that sounds like a long time, think you won't get sick of me before then?"
"Not a chance, especially if you perform like that every time we make love!" Elizabeth replied, laughing herself.
Elizabeth noticed the sparkle of mischief glow briefly in his eyes, and felt the reawakened proof of his desire, throbbing deeply within her. All the laughter went out of her as her own desire re-awoke.
The End….