Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
A/N: So basically this is a test to see if the plot of Rocky Horror still makes sense with a different couple 'standing in' for Brad and Janet. These two original characters aren't average, stereotypical mainstream people. They're unconventional... but in a different sort of way than the Unconventional Conventionalists.
It's also sort of a 'modern AU'. Technically I could've set it in 1975, but most of the Science Fiction I know well is from after then.
Though my Latin really isn't very good (I use Google translate half the time), I'm pretty sure 'timens' means 'timid' and 'castus' means 'chaste'. I thought those were suitable last names for these two characters.
Ethan Timens and his girlfriend, Alice Castus, were driving back to her parents' house after a convention. Like the proper fan's they were, they'd dressed up- both as characters from the 2005 film version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (he'd gone as Arthur Dent and she'd gone as Trillian).
Of course, they'd changed out of their costumes. Now they wore ordinary clothes. For Alice that meant a white blouse, a light pink pleated skirt, white shoes with little buckles, white gloves, and a little pink hat pinned to her curly light brown hair. She liked what she called 'old fashioned looking' clothes. Her boyfriend wore simple khaki pants, a polo shirt, brown shoes, and his usual wire-rimmed glasses.
Alice still couldn't stop talking about it all. "Oh, I still can't believe we met William Shatner… though it was for only about five seconds. Yet he still signed that poster for us! I wonder what it's like, signing as those posters and things."
"Must be scary," replied Ethan.
Then, he turned up the car's radio. Whenever Ethan was nervous he'd play the opening monologue from Star Trek: The Next Generation on an endless loop. Though it annoyed Alice sometimes, she'd learned to ignore it.
They drove for what seemed far too long a time. The only other vehicles they'd seen in ages were a few strangely similar motorcycles. And the only building they'd passed happened to be a strangely out-of-place castle. Though Alice began to worry that they were lost, she didn't saying anything. She didn't want to trigger Ethan's anxiety. Poor dear was always worried about everything.
But, then again, getting lost was more nerve wracking in the long run. For one thing, Mrs. Timens would be furious if she heard that her son was out all night with a girl… even if they were just driving.
"Another motorcyle!" Ethan muttered.
Alice nodded in agreement. "They sure do take their lives into their hands, don't they? Driving so wildly- and in this terrible weather! My, why aren't they more careful?"
Ethan shrugged.
They continued to drive for a moment when, suddenly, they hit a pothole. The ominous 'bang' they heard could mean only one thing…
"A flat tire!" Ethan exclaimed, after sticking his head out the window.
To Alice's horror, her phone didn't have a signal. Neither did Ethan's.
"Well… do you think that castle we drove past a few miles back has a phone we can borrow? Even if it doesn't, I'm sure they can help us somehow."
"But what if the people are crazy or something? What if-"
"Shh. We'll be fine. Everyone has phones these days. We'll just walk over there and ask and everything will be fine."
Ethan didn't do well with unexpected things. When it came to stuff involving computer programming or something equally predictable, he was fine. But anything not going as planned freaked him out. Since they'd been dating since junior year of high school- 4 years ago- Alice knew how to make sure he was okay.
And, when she was scared, he knew how to help her.
"How far away is the castle?" Ethan asked as they walked.
"Not too far," Alice replied.
They walked for about half an hour. Both of them were soaked by the time they got to the looming gate in front of the castle. A sign that read 'ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK' in large, friendly letters was hung from it.
"My, that's almost as silly as the 'last chance to not go near the castle' sign outside Count Magpyr's castle in Carpe Jugulum," Alice said with a laugh.
"That's right," Ethan replied.
By now he wasn't as frightened. The sign gave the place a strangely comical appearance. In high school, both Ethan and Alice had known a girl (named Leigh) who swore that one day she'd live in a castle full of popular culture references and tacky shout-outs to 1930s Universal Monster films. Leigh was eccentric and had a strange sense of humor, but a lovely person once you got past the deadpan gallows humor and love of quoting obscure films. Hopefully the owners of this place were like her.
When they got to the door, Alice knocked.
Only seconds later, a strange butler opened it. Well… they assumed he was a butler. Something about him just screamed 'real butler'. But he looked like someone dressed as a butler. No real butler would have bloodstains on his vest, for one thing.
"Hello…" said the butler.
"Er, hello. My name is Alice Castus and this is my boyfriend Ethan Timens. Our car got a flat tire down the road. Can we borrow a phone?"
"I think you better both… come inside," said the butler.
As if the weather were agreeing with him, under clap of thunder punctuated his statement. Alice and Ethan quickly entered the strange house.
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