How it Might of Happened
by DoomaWriter
Author's Notes: I do not claim that I own Dragonball Z or Dragonball Z related materials in anyway. There, now with that out of the way, let me explain this fic. Now I'm a big fan of DBZ, but let's face it, most of the things that went on during it wasn't that realistic (excluding the whole aliens, flying, and ki blasts stuff). Here's my interpretation of how the Z- cast would of acted in their situations had they been normal people. (Some subtle/flamboyent OOC may appear.)
Chapter 1: That Time Raditz Came
A farmer is working out in his field when he notices a twinkle grow bigger and bigger. Out of nowhere, the sphere falls out of the sky and creates a crater where it lands. He stands and looks around to see if there are any others who could of witnessed this phenomenon. "Whew wee, I reckon that thar's one of them flying UFOs I done heard about on the T.V. I got'sa takes me a closer look see!"
The chubby guy idiotically hops into his van and drives to the crash site. He stumbles out of the vehicle armed with nothing but a rifle. He slowly walks toward it with his trusty boom-stick, shivering in his hands.
Suddenly, a figure flies up from the hole and stops right in front of his face. Out of instinct, the freightened farmer lets his gun go off before wetting himself. The bullet smacks into the humanoid creature's arm and falls to the ground. (Yeah, the story didn't actually go this way, but its better if I change it a bit).
The long haired man looked down to his shoulder than stared angrily at the puny lifeform in front of him in disbelief. "Ow!" He said sarcastically. "Did-did you just...shoot me? The hell is your problem? I just come out of my ship and you shoot me? Come here."
In a blind panic, the farmer gets up and heads for his truck only to be cut off from the door as the alien speeds in front of him. "How would you like it if you came to my home planet and we all shot the crap out of you? Would you like it? Would that be fun? Hmm?" The farmer shook his head slow and nervously. "No, I didn't think so. Gimme that!"
The farmer looked down to find his hands have been emptied. He quickly looks up only to get the front of his skull smashed in by the back of his own tool. "What weak creatures," the alien muttered. He spat and threw the gun into the cold, dead fingers of its master. "Now lets see where baby brother could be." He pressed a button on the scouter which was latched onto his ear. A few symbols appeared to the tones of beeps. "There you are. Now to get back to work. I'm on the clock here." The creature flew upward and off into the distance.
---
The evil Piccolo sat in meditation upon the top of a rocky mountain thinking of bad remarks about his arch-nemesis' mother. He stands up with a shock, "Goku? No..the power I'm sensing doesn't suck ass as much as his.....If only I had someone around to hear me say these things." He turned around to see a long haired being standing behind him.
"Excuse me, I thought you were someone else. Say, would you know where Kakarot is? He should look a bit like me, has a tail. Unusually strong with a desire to destroy, can't miss him."
"W-who are you?" Piccolo asked with a shake he never felt before.
"Woah, no need to get personal. Just wanted to know if you've seen Kakarot. Yes? No?"
"I haven't seen him..Carrot top, or whomever it is you seek."
"Hey, you don't go around insulting a man's brother like that. God, is this planet full of jackasses? I'll be happy once the whole thing blows." With that, the alien checked his scouter once again then took off. "I'll be back for you green-man!"
Piccolo stood shaking moments after the visitor left. The immense power he had felt was like no other."Holy crap."
---
"Hey, everyone!" The woman shouted as she entered the lone pink house.
"Bulma! Long time no see!" Krillin said with a large smile. "I'm so glad you can make it!"
"Eyes up here."
Krillin quickly popped his head up and looked into Bulma's face. "Sorry, 'bout that, but you know how it is when you're my height!"
"Nice try, you pervert."
Master Roshi, zipped past Krillin to greet the guest he was most anxious to see. "Bulma! Why you're a sight for sore eyes, heh heh heh!"
"Eyes up here, old man!"
"Well you know how it is when you're my-"
"Say, " Krillin interrupted. "Where's Yamcha? Isn't he coming?"
Bulma gritted her teeth and became furious. "That jerk! I didn't even tell him about this meeting! I swear its over with us!"
---
Sitting on the bench of a baseball field, a sneeze came to Yamcha suddenly. "Woah, that can't be good." Next to him, his best friend Puar floated by his head. The other members of the baseball team were cramming themselves on the other side of the bench in fear of the freakish flying, talking cat nature had puked up.
"Bulma's not going to be happy that you stood her up, y'know."
"B'ah! Whatever! I can take her or leave her. She's been cramping my style anyways."
"I'll say. She sure had you pussy-whipped."
Yamcha fell over as the words smacked into his ear. "Puar! No she didn't, I just felt like helping her every now and then!"
"Oh, c'mon. Do you remember what you were doing before you met her? You were a desert bandit!Desert....Bandit! Seriously, she had you waiting on her hand and foot. She made you do things you wouldn't usually do, such as cut your hair and...bathe regularily."
"Shuttup! I took lots of baths!"
"Yeah the water just came gushing through the spout in the middle of a desert."
".....Shut up."
---
Bulma looked suspiciously at the turtle hermit. "A fee? What fee?"
"Well, you see, hosting this party takes money. So I'm requesting that all the participants either pay a small fee or...." He inched closer to Bulma and began to blush. "You can...let me fondle your-"
"HERE'S YOUR MONEY!!!" Bulma slammed the zeni into Roshi's hands.
"Damn, so close. It worked on Krillin."
Bulma looked at her small friend suspiciously but Krillin confidently replied, "Hey, its better than paying his ridiculous fines."
A yell came from outside. "Hey, anybody home!?" Everyone hurried out to see Goku hopping off of his flying nimbus cloud. They all stopped to see a small child in his hands. "Say 'Hi', son."
"Uh....." The child began before running behind his father and grasping his leg.
"Goku..." Bulma began with a serious look. "Where did the kid come from? Did you take him from a toy store? You're going to have to take him back, y'know."
"No, his name's Gohan. He's my son."
"Y-y-your son!?" Bulma yelled in shock. Krillen and Master Roshi quickly ran past her and started giving congratulations at what Goku had done.
"Way to go, man!" Krillen said. "I knew you had it in you! And with Chichi, wow! Hey, just between you and me, how was it?"
Master Roshi quickly joined in. "Spare no detail, whatsoever! Or better yet, did you get it on tape?"
Goku hunched down to his friends' level and began his tale. "Well, actually- "
"Ahem!" Bulma interrupted, holding Gohan's ears. "Can you save it for some other time?" All the men stood up correctly and regain their composure.
"Gohan?" Krillin asked. "Doesn't that mean rice? That has to be the stupidest-"
"He's named after my Grandpa." Goku explained.
"...best, most kick-ass name I've ever heard."
For a while the group caught up, had some laughs, and all was good. But as cruel fate would have it, peace would not last long. The alien creature lands upon the island and all Hell breaks loose. "Hello, baby brother. It's been a long time. Big brother Raditz has come."
Goku looked to his left, the right, then pointed to himself. "Who, me?"
"Yes, the family resemblence is uncanny!"
"I don't know," Krillin jumped in. "I'm not seeing it."
"Come on! Look at our jaw lines! And the nose, you hafta see it!"
"Hmm, a little.... I guess. But that's not enough to convince me. If you ask me, I think you've been dipping in the egg nog."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, empting out the keg. Swinging back a few brewskis. Sniffing the cider. Partying like its 1999."
"......Are you implying that I've been drinking? I've had enough of this planet's impudence!" With that, Raditz unwrapped his tail from around his waist and slapped it across Krillin's face. As the bald man started to fly back, Raditz's tail wound around Krillen's leg and tossed him up in the air and slapped him once again. Krillen flew back and crashed through the side of the Kame house.
Goku turned to his downed friend. "Krillin! Are you ok!?"
"Oh just fine, I get slapped into the side of houses everyday....dumbass."
Raditz chuckled to himself before noticing something was amiss. "Kakarot! Where is your tail?! My God, you look so horribly disfigured!"
"I lost it a long time ago." Goku said, turning away from Krillin. "Lawnmower, long story."
--- To be continued... ---
Author notes: Well, that's it for Chapter 1. Next up, Goku and Piccolo unite! And just so that you know, I'm not planning on doing a hundred of these to cover every detail in the DBZ series. I'll be skipping around as the story continues. If you wish for me to continue, review! Review like the wind! (And don't bother me about the spelling of the names, there's like a jillion of 'em)
Author's Notes: I do not claim that I own Dragonball Z or Dragonball Z related materials in anyway. There, now with that out of the way, let me explain this fic. Now I'm a big fan of DBZ, but let's face it, most of the things that went on during it wasn't that realistic (excluding the whole aliens, flying, and ki blasts stuff). Here's my interpretation of how the Z- cast would of acted in their situations had they been normal people. (Some subtle/flamboyent OOC may appear.)
Chapter 1: That Time Raditz Came
A farmer is working out in his field when he notices a twinkle grow bigger and bigger. Out of nowhere, the sphere falls out of the sky and creates a crater where it lands. He stands and looks around to see if there are any others who could of witnessed this phenomenon. "Whew wee, I reckon that thar's one of them flying UFOs I done heard about on the T.V. I got'sa takes me a closer look see!"
The chubby guy idiotically hops into his van and drives to the crash site. He stumbles out of the vehicle armed with nothing but a rifle. He slowly walks toward it with his trusty boom-stick, shivering in his hands.
Suddenly, a figure flies up from the hole and stops right in front of his face. Out of instinct, the freightened farmer lets his gun go off before wetting himself. The bullet smacks into the humanoid creature's arm and falls to the ground. (Yeah, the story didn't actually go this way, but its better if I change it a bit).
The long haired man looked down to his shoulder than stared angrily at the puny lifeform in front of him in disbelief. "Ow!" He said sarcastically. "Did-did you just...shoot me? The hell is your problem? I just come out of my ship and you shoot me? Come here."
In a blind panic, the farmer gets up and heads for his truck only to be cut off from the door as the alien speeds in front of him. "How would you like it if you came to my home planet and we all shot the crap out of you? Would you like it? Would that be fun? Hmm?" The farmer shook his head slow and nervously. "No, I didn't think so. Gimme that!"
The farmer looked down to find his hands have been emptied. He quickly looks up only to get the front of his skull smashed in by the back of his own tool. "What weak creatures," the alien muttered. He spat and threw the gun into the cold, dead fingers of its master. "Now lets see where baby brother could be." He pressed a button on the scouter which was latched onto his ear. A few symbols appeared to the tones of beeps. "There you are. Now to get back to work. I'm on the clock here." The creature flew upward and off into the distance.
---
The evil Piccolo sat in meditation upon the top of a rocky mountain thinking of bad remarks about his arch-nemesis' mother. He stands up with a shock, "Goku? No..the power I'm sensing doesn't suck ass as much as his.....If only I had someone around to hear me say these things." He turned around to see a long haired being standing behind him.
"Excuse me, I thought you were someone else. Say, would you know where Kakarot is? He should look a bit like me, has a tail. Unusually strong with a desire to destroy, can't miss him."
"W-who are you?" Piccolo asked with a shake he never felt before.
"Woah, no need to get personal. Just wanted to know if you've seen Kakarot. Yes? No?"
"I haven't seen him..Carrot top, or whomever it is you seek."
"Hey, you don't go around insulting a man's brother like that. God, is this planet full of jackasses? I'll be happy once the whole thing blows." With that, the alien checked his scouter once again then took off. "I'll be back for you green-man!"
Piccolo stood shaking moments after the visitor left. The immense power he had felt was like no other."Holy crap."
---
"Hey, everyone!" The woman shouted as she entered the lone pink house.
"Bulma! Long time no see!" Krillin said with a large smile. "I'm so glad you can make it!"
"Eyes up here."
Krillin quickly popped his head up and looked into Bulma's face. "Sorry, 'bout that, but you know how it is when you're my height!"
"Nice try, you pervert."
Master Roshi, zipped past Krillin to greet the guest he was most anxious to see. "Bulma! Why you're a sight for sore eyes, heh heh heh!"
"Eyes up here, old man!"
"Well you know how it is when you're my-"
"Say, " Krillin interrupted. "Where's Yamcha? Isn't he coming?"
Bulma gritted her teeth and became furious. "That jerk! I didn't even tell him about this meeting! I swear its over with us!"
---
Sitting on the bench of a baseball field, a sneeze came to Yamcha suddenly. "Woah, that can't be good." Next to him, his best friend Puar floated by his head. The other members of the baseball team were cramming themselves on the other side of the bench in fear of the freakish flying, talking cat nature had puked up.
"Bulma's not going to be happy that you stood her up, y'know."
"B'ah! Whatever! I can take her or leave her. She's been cramping my style anyways."
"I'll say. She sure had you pussy-whipped."
Yamcha fell over as the words smacked into his ear. "Puar! No she didn't, I just felt like helping her every now and then!"
"Oh, c'mon. Do you remember what you were doing before you met her? You were a desert bandit!Desert....Bandit! Seriously, she had you waiting on her hand and foot. She made you do things you wouldn't usually do, such as cut your hair and...bathe regularily."
"Shuttup! I took lots of baths!"
"Yeah the water just came gushing through the spout in the middle of a desert."
".....Shut up."
---
Bulma looked suspiciously at the turtle hermit. "A fee? What fee?"
"Well, you see, hosting this party takes money. So I'm requesting that all the participants either pay a small fee or...." He inched closer to Bulma and began to blush. "You can...let me fondle your-"
"HERE'S YOUR MONEY!!!" Bulma slammed the zeni into Roshi's hands.
"Damn, so close. It worked on Krillin."
Bulma looked at her small friend suspiciously but Krillin confidently replied, "Hey, its better than paying his ridiculous fines."
A yell came from outside. "Hey, anybody home!?" Everyone hurried out to see Goku hopping off of his flying nimbus cloud. They all stopped to see a small child in his hands. "Say 'Hi', son."
"Uh....." The child began before running behind his father and grasping his leg.
"Goku..." Bulma began with a serious look. "Where did the kid come from? Did you take him from a toy store? You're going to have to take him back, y'know."
"No, his name's Gohan. He's my son."
"Y-y-your son!?" Bulma yelled in shock. Krillen and Master Roshi quickly ran past her and started giving congratulations at what Goku had done.
"Way to go, man!" Krillen said. "I knew you had it in you! And with Chichi, wow! Hey, just between you and me, how was it?"
Master Roshi quickly joined in. "Spare no detail, whatsoever! Or better yet, did you get it on tape?"
Goku hunched down to his friends' level and began his tale. "Well, actually- "
"Ahem!" Bulma interrupted, holding Gohan's ears. "Can you save it for some other time?" All the men stood up correctly and regain their composure.
"Gohan?" Krillin asked. "Doesn't that mean rice? That has to be the stupidest-"
"He's named after my Grandpa." Goku explained.
"...best, most kick-ass name I've ever heard."
For a while the group caught up, had some laughs, and all was good. But as cruel fate would have it, peace would not last long. The alien creature lands upon the island and all Hell breaks loose. "Hello, baby brother. It's been a long time. Big brother Raditz has come."
Goku looked to his left, the right, then pointed to himself. "Who, me?"
"Yes, the family resemblence is uncanny!"
"I don't know," Krillin jumped in. "I'm not seeing it."
"Come on! Look at our jaw lines! And the nose, you hafta see it!"
"Hmm, a little.... I guess. But that's not enough to convince me. If you ask me, I think you've been dipping in the egg nog."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, empting out the keg. Swinging back a few brewskis. Sniffing the cider. Partying like its 1999."
"......Are you implying that I've been drinking? I've had enough of this planet's impudence!" With that, Raditz unwrapped his tail from around his waist and slapped it across Krillin's face. As the bald man started to fly back, Raditz's tail wound around Krillen's leg and tossed him up in the air and slapped him once again. Krillen flew back and crashed through the side of the Kame house.
Goku turned to his downed friend. "Krillin! Are you ok!?"
"Oh just fine, I get slapped into the side of houses everyday....dumbass."
Raditz chuckled to himself before noticing something was amiss. "Kakarot! Where is your tail?! My God, you look so horribly disfigured!"
"I lost it a long time ago." Goku said, turning away from Krillin. "Lawnmower, long story."
--- To be continued... ---
Author notes: Well, that's it for Chapter 1. Next up, Goku and Piccolo unite! And just so that you know, I'm not planning on doing a hundred of these to cover every detail in the DBZ series. I'll be skipping around as the story continues. If you wish for me to continue, review! Review like the wind! (And don't bother me about the spelling of the names, there's like a jillion of 'em)